My Addiction: Second Chances Series (17 page)

By 9:00, I was packed and ready to check out. I didn’t have a clue where I was going. Maybe to another hotel. I couldn’t begin to tell you, but I was leaving here.

There was a knock on my door, and I stared at it for a minute. I knew though that it wasn’t her, but I didn’t have a clue who it could be. Besides me sending a text to my brother telling him where I was staying, and Ayana, no one else knew where I was.

They knocked again, and I heard Nora say from beyond the door, “Brad, please let me in.”

I took a few deep breaths and thought about leaving her ass out there.

“Please, Brad?”

I sighed again and moved to the door. When I opened it, she flung herself into my arms crying in my chest. “Oh, Brad.”

I closed the door behind her and locked it with her wrapped around me.

I didn’t put my arms around her. Instead, I moved her back away from me. Frowning, I asked her, “How the hell did you find me?”

I looked in her moist eyes and wondered if she was really crying. All the years I’ve known her, she’s never shown this type of emotion to me at all. Even when I proposed to her, the tears were fake.

I walked away from her and moved deeper into my room as she followed.

“What do you want, Nora?” I asked her

She wiped at her eyes and the dramatics continued. “Brad, please. I just want to talk, okay?”

I sighed deeply and sat down on the bed. “There’s nothing to say. I’ve said everything I wanted to say before I left Houston, when we spoke on the phone and again at my brother’s place. For the life of me, I don’t know why you’re here.”

Nora flared her arms out. “Damn it, Braddock. I don’t understand any of this. How can you just end everything so easily? I’ve given you five years of my life, and for you to let me go so easy? Didn’t I mean anything to you?”

I sighed deeply and leaned forward. This was going to end right here and now. The patience I bragged about having an abundance of was gone. The way I was feeling right now I didn’t give a shit how I was about to sound to her or how much what I was going to say would hurt her. No more mister nice guy.

“Do you remember over six months ago, about two days after I asked you to marry me? I came home from one of the worst nights I’ve experienced. I’d been on my feet for eighteen hours and I came home to you. I wanted us just to spend some time together. I was trying to make something out of our relationship that I knew deep down wasn’t there.” I waited for a response but she only just sat in the chair in front of the desk. “So I came in the door and asked that we order in, Chinese food or pizza, I didn’t care which, and we talk. I wanted to talk about us. I wanted to talk about the shit that was going in my head. I wanted to talk to my fiancée, the woman I was planning to spend the rest of my life with. Now, do you remember what you said to me when I asked you to spend time with me?”

“Braddock…” Nora shook her head and let out her breath.

“Come on, Nora. Tell me what you said to your fiancé, who you knew for a fact had been gone for hours working nonstop and all he wanted to do was spend time with you for just a night.” She remained quiet so I helped her out. “You told me,
‘Brenda only turns thirty once in her lifetime and she’s expecting us.’
You told me that I’d been gone for eighteen hours and that I should be thinking about what you wanted to do instead of what I wanted. I tried so many times that night to talk to you about what was going on in my life. That’s all I needed you to do was listen to me, be there for me and you frowned at me and told me I was being ridiculous. I’m sure you also remember that you didn’t speak to me for a week because I decided to go to sleep instead of your friend’s party.”

“Brad-”

I shook my head. “There were many of nights like that, when I needed you, and you weren’t there. And I don’t mean you turning my phone off so I could sleep when I was tired or you leaving the house so I could study. I mean, you
being there
, Nora. You don’t have a fucking clue how many times I just wanted to be with you, even if it was for just a little while. I wanted to feel a bit of normalcy from chaos and you were too wrapped up in your shit…”

Nora, turning red in the face moved closer to me. “If you were so miserable, Brad, then why did you propose, huh? Why didn’t you have the balls to walk out?”

“Honestly, do you want to know why I asked you to marry me? Because I thought I owed it to you to give you a chance, to give us a chance. I thought you would change back and be the woman I fell for. But I learned you were only pretending to be that woman. You know, the loving and caring woman who believed in ‘you and me against the world.’ You don’t even love me, Nora. To you, getting married is something that you just do, and I can’t get with that.”

Nora shook her head. “Braddock, you have this misconceived notion about marriage. Marriage is supposed to be a union between two people with similar goals. You want to be a doctor, a surgeon. As your wife, I’m supposed to understand you and help you with those goals. I take care of the house. I sacrifice my body, my life to give you some kids. I make sure you don’t have to deal with mindless stresses in your life. It’s my job to take care of you and make sure our house is a well-oiled machine. So if that means I have to force you to be social because if I don’t, your job will consume you, then that’s what I’ll do.”

My mind was spinning as she kept talking bullshit. I stood quickly, rage choking me, and hurled the hotel phone close to her across the room. It shattered against the wall the same time I yelled, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Nora stopped abruptly and stared at me, fear consuming her face.

I walked away from her and to the window of the room. “Your mother has messed you up, do you know that?” I said, not turning around. “First, whatever your mother does for your father might be okay with your father, but, Nora, I’m not your father and you’re not your mother. I don’t need a woman like that. Shit, don’t you know me at all?”

I turned from the window, stared in her eyes, and realized she didn’t have a clue who I was. It was time for me to change that.

I took deep breath and said, as calm as I could, “You and I would have never worked. I don’t need a robot for a wife who does shit because she thinks it’s what I need. I want someone to be by my side. Someone that just knows what I want before I could tell her. If I have a bad day, she would know it the instant I walked in the door. She could hear it in my voice or see it on my face. She’d ask me, she’d open up her mouth and ask me how my night was, or if I was hungry or hell if I wanted a damn massage. She wouldn’t stop speaking to me because I needed to lie down for a while instead of going with her to a party or go with her to her parents’ for Sunday dinner with her entire family.”

Nora stood and walked toward me. “I’m sorry, Brad, okay? You’re right; my mom and dad are different from us… But that’s all I know. My mom does everything for my father and he’s okay with it all. He didn’t mind having less stress on things at home since he was so stressed at work. God, Brad that’s all I was doing, looking out for you. If that’s not what you want, then fine… I’ll stop. All you had to do was tell me, and I would have stopped, but you never did.”

I frowned and shook my head. “That’s bullshit and you know it. I’ve told you countless times what I like and what I don’t. I’ve never had that problem with you. But shit you never listened. Hell, you’re not listening now. The woman I plan to spend the rest of my life with should know me inside and out. Knows when I just need her and nothing and no one else. Can you honestly say you know me?”

“Can you honestly say you gave me a chance to? Braddock, no matter what you say, I’ve been living in the shadows of your great love, Ayana Peters, ever since we met. You’ve put standards on me that, no matter what I do, I won’t be able to live up to them. I’m not her. I will never be her. Brad, just look back at your life and how disruptive she was. I feel like it’s a good thing I’m not her. If she was so great and you meant that much to her, wouldn’t she be here right now instead of me? Isn’t her forty-eight hours up?”

I didn’t reply and she continued.

“You want some woman that can read your mind. Well I can’t.” A sudden burst of laughter escaped her lips. “And think about the role models you have for marriage. Your father left your mother for someone younger. You can’t stand his new wife or your half siblings. And your mom has been chasing happily ever after since then. You may talk about my parents and their marriage, but they’ve been married for twenty-three years. What they have works. It may not be perfect, but it works for them.” She moved closer to me. “You and I can have that if you just give me a chance. We can make this work. Seriously, Brad. I will promise to not try and live your life for you. Okay? I’ll let you dictate what you want me to handle or deal with for you. But just don’t throw all we have away.”

Does she have a point? Am I being ridiculous picking Ayana over Nora?
I took a few deep breaths and looked at her. Maybe she was right. Maybe I self-consciously compared her to Ayana every day, which was unfair. They are two different people and I know that. Nora will never be Ayana, but the question is who do I want and what do I want?

To be quite honest, I had already made up my mind the moment Ayana didn’t show up. I was about to tell Nora what that was when my phone went off. I moved to answer it, and when I saw Ayana’s face on the screen, I started not to. She was too late, and I needed to stick to what I’ve told myself, no matter what. Instead of ignoring her, I decided to answer it and listened, preparing myself for the excuses. What I got instead was a weak voice that barely sounded human, much less like Ayana.

“Bradley… God, I’m so worr… Um, I was so worriee…Are you kay?” she said, sounding breathy and labored slightly.

“Am I what?” I replied, trying to understand her through her slurred speech.

“Did they hurt… Are you okay?”

I sighed. “Yeah, Ayana, I’m fine. Is that all you wanted? If so, I’m hanging up now.”

I heard her start to whimper softly, something I had never heard before or seen her do. “Bradley,” she whispered. “Please I… um… I need… you… please.” She started coughing and I started to get that feeling again that something wasn’t right with her.

“What’s wrong, Ayana?” I asked, not hiding my annoyance.

“I… dunno… I think he gave me something… I dunno. I tried to get rid of it… I tried…” She started to cry and blabber on about things I couldn’t understand.

I needed her to focus and I wasn’t helping with the tone in my voice. I tried something else. “Baby, tell me where you are?”

“Oh, Bradley… Puh-lease forgive me… Puh-lease…. I do… anything… just…,” she drawled out, crying again more out of frustration than anything.

“Okay, baby,” I stressed softly to her. “Yes, Ana, I forgive you. Can you tell me where you are, baby? You said you needed me. Let me help you. Tell me where you are.”

Something in her voice changed and alarm bells started ringing in my head. She started to speak slower, voice deadpan. “I don’t know where… um, in a hotel I think. Please, can you come and get me? Lock is going to kill me. He told me not to leave, but my brother… he just wanted to say goodbye. Oh, God I don’t… Aghhhhhhhh,” she said in frustration no doubt. Then I instantly heard silence. I called her name a few times until I heard a beep in my ear. The phone call dropped. I tried to call her back several times and she didn’t pick up.

“Fuck!”

Someone started banging on my door, and I heard my brother’s voice. Nora went to answer it and I heard her say, “Holy shit.”

I looked up to see my brother walk in, giving Nora one of his signature hard looks as he passed her.

I had a signature pissed off look myself, and I returned Lock’s hard stare with one of my own and said, as I moved to him, “I just got a weird call from Ayana. What’s going on?”

Lock’s eyes widened, “Shit, she called you? I thought I would find her here again. What did she say? Did she tell you where she was?”

“No, but she sounded scared and high. Are you going to tell me what’s going on? You said you were going to explain everything. So tell me now what happened, and where the hell is Ayana?”

Lock pulled out his phone and made a call. “Hold on, bro.” When someone picked up, he said, “Hey, she’s not here, but my brother said he just got a call from her. Yeah, here’s his number.” He rattled off my number. “Trace the last incoming call and see where it came from. Yeah, check all surrounding areas… Okay, and did you get anything from Derek or Noelle?” He listened and looked at Nora. “No, but the moment you get a hit, call me back.”

“Lock-” I started but my brother held up his hand.

“Listen, Brad, I know you want answers, and I swear you will get them. But right now I need to ask Nora some questions.”

Her eyes went wide. “Me?”

“Yeah, you. Tell me everything you know about Special Agent Ramone Allen. What did you talk about the first time he called you?”

As I left Brad’s room, after having one of the best sexual encounters of my life, and climbed into the elevator, I couldn’t stop smiling. Hearing a sense of yearning and hunger in his voice, I knew I wouldn’t deny him. There was no way I would tell him, “I was just in a fire fight between your brother and some bad people, so your brother has me on lock down and I don’t think I could get away.”

Instead, I told him I would be there and I figured out a way to get there. It was rough. Lock’s men are really good. But what Lock didn’t know was that Ice had a door leading from the back of his large back room freezer to the alley.

Ice has a fear of being locked in the freezer and no one would be able to help him or hear him, and he would freeze to death. His paranoia worked in my favor. I just had to get past the officer Lock had sitting on the alley. But that was easy. He wasn’t like Sol, big as a fucking house and scary, or Derek and Scott. They must have found this guy wandering the streets because he was too busy talking to some girl on the corner to notice me slipping out of the alley and walking down the street.

I moved to the Target on the same road as the bar and grille and called a cab. I made it to Bradley as soon as I could and the moment I saw his face, the moment he touched me, everything was so worth it. Bradley is as gifted at kissing and making me lose my mind more than anyone. And I know I’ve said he’s been my one and only, but that was a partial truth. I’ve kissed other men before, but none of them ever made me want to give myself the way I want to for Brad. No one has ever made me wet with a desire so strong I thought I would lose my mind. And no one has ever just kissed me or touched me and I felt I would die if they stopped.

That’s what he does to me. That’s how I’ve felt every moment that we’re together. I can’t explain it any other way but that, and I don’t want to spend another second without being in his arms.

As the elevator opened to the lobby, the smile on my face instantly dropped. I was met with the most frustrated and angry face I had ever seen. I froze in place, not sure what to do next but knowing I was caught. I walked off the elevator and into the hands of the police, Lockhart Mills to be exact. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t ask him how he knew where I went. He also remained silent, except for the silent disappointment in his eyes, turned from me and started walking. Like a child who was caught with her hands in the cookie jar, I walked behind him with my head down. As I walked toward the front door of the hotel, I stopped dead in my tracks, catching a scent I knew so well and looked around. I could smell him, but I couldn’t see him. I quickly moved to put my arm around Lock’s and it startled him at first, but he saw the fear in my eyes and instantly looked around.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me, in a short clipped tone.

“Allen is here or he’s been here,” I told him still looking around, waiting for bullets to start flying.

“How do you know?”

I could tell Lock tensed up and as we made it outside, I could see Scott standing by the car. He gave Scott a head nod that made Scott become acutely aware of his surroundings too. He pulled his gun instantly and started moving toward us.

See what I mean? A well-oiled machine.

I almost felt bad for sneaking out… Almost.

I answered him, “It’s going to sound strange but it’s his cologne. You could actually smell his dumbass from miles away. He wears too much cologne and the cologne he does wear is loud and cheap.”

“And you smelled it in the lobby?”

I nodded.

When Scott got to us, Lock said, “I need you to stay here for a while and keep an eye out for Allen. Ayana thinks he’s here or he’s been here. Check the cameras the hotel has around the parameter and inside to see if anyone shows up.” He looked at me. “I’m assuming last night you didn’t suspect he was here?”

I shook my head, feeling admonished by just his eyes on me.

He just looked at me and shook his head. “You two are fucking hopeless, you know that?”

I smiled and nodded my head.

“Unfucking believable.” He looked back at Scott. “Let me know what you find. I’ll send a car back for you in a few.”

“No need, sir. I’ll take care of it. I’ll keep you posted.” Scott looked at me, then placing his gun back in his holster jogged inside the hotel.

Lock and I moved to the car Scott was standing by and got in. He looked over at me as I put my seatbelt on and said. “I’m starving, and I could use a shower. What about you?”

“Yes, I could use both.”

He nodded and we drove in silence to his house. Once inside, he told me I could go first, and I moved quickly to Brad’s room and took a long hot shower. The water felt amazing and it also brought back a flood of memories of me and Brad up against the shower wall, me on my knees in front of him or him on his. Whew, our sex life is amazing, despite my lack of experience with anyone else.

I know what I have and I know what I will lose if I don’t get this right.

After I showered, I washed out my panties and bra and laid them out in the bathroom, ready to move them to the dryer the moment I was dressed. Bradley left a few of his clothes here, so I took a t-shirt and a pair of shorts that I had to make a knot in in order to keep up. There was a light knock on the door. When I opened it, Lock was standing there with clothes in his hands. His eyes shifted to the clothes he had and my eyes. I could smell bacon cooking behind him and my stomach instantly growled… loud.

My eyes grew and he burst out laughing. I laughed too, but I will tell you it was more at hearing the sound of laughter coming from a man that I always saw frowning. It was a glorious sound that I hoped I’d get to hear often.

The nervousness came back on him as he said, “Uh… I know you don’t want to put those dirty clothes on again, so I brought you some. I think you and MJ are about the same size. It’s just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.”

He handed me the clothes. I smiled graciously and said, “Thanks, Lock. I really appreciate it.”

He shrugged, grunted his reply and walked away.

This I will tell you was a huge accomplishment for him. I mean, a monstrosity of an accomplishment. For him to allow me to wear MJ’s clothes meant he was healing.

I removed Bradley’s clothes and put the clothes on that Lock gave me. He was right; they fit perfectly. When I walked in the kitchen, he looked at me and I could see the pain in them. He awkwardly stood there looking at me, then replied, “I ah… breakfast is done. I’m going to go and take a shower. I won’t be long. Um… well, I don’t have to tell you to make yourself at home. Just don’t open the door for anyone, and I mean
anyone,
until you tell me. I don’t care if it’s one of my guys, understood?”

I nodded and he walked off.

I ate silently, went to get my panties and bra, placed them in the dryer, then laid down on the couch in the family room waiting for him to get done. I don’t know how long it took because I dozed off but when I felt him tap my shoulders I jumped up and almost jumped out of my skin.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed, and he rolled his eyes

“Alright, get a fucking grip,” he replied and walked back to the front of the house.

I got up and followed. “Oh my God, Lock, you look…” When I got to him, he was making a pot of coffee. The moment his eyes fell on mine, I grinned from ear to ear. “You are a very sexy man there, Lockhart Mills.”

“Fuck you, Peters,” rolled off is tongue and he sipped his coffee.

My grin faded though, leaving a warm smile that I hoped he felt. I said softly, “You clean up nice, Detective.”

Lockhart Mills is just as I said, sexy as shit. Lock’s hair was darker than Brad’s and a little longer, but his eyes were a piercing grey with the beard. Now that he had finally shaved, I could really see how cloudy grey they were. His face was hard and chiseled, like he was carved from stone, but in a sexy mountain man sort of way. He was the blue-collar, alpha looking male, rough and rugged.

He was built bigger than Brad too, but, with the clothes he would wear, you couldn’t tell. They were baggy and wrinkled, and that’s where your eyes always went to, how haggard he looked. Now, he wore a nice pair of jeans that fit and
were ironed
with a long sleeve thermos looking shirt that fit close to his body, showing an impeccable set of arms, chest and shoulders.

Yeah, Lock was hot!

“Yeah, yeah. You can stop drooling over me. Are you ready to go?” he asked me. I nodded, went back to get my panties and bra out of the dryer and put them on because going commando in a pair jeans wasn’t the best idea.

We drove quietly back to Ice’s. As he parked, he looked over at me. “Ayana, for my brother’s sake and yours, I need you to stay put, understand? I can’t do my job if you go off and no one knows where you are.”

I sighed deeply, knowing he was right. I needed to put my libido in check. “I will stay put.”

He nodded and we got out. We went to the side of the building and he unlocked a door. As we climbed up the steps, he said to me, “There will be someone here with you at all times, so don’t think you’ll be able to sneak out like you did last night.”

“He said he needed me, Lock. I couldn’t say no,” I told him.

He shook his head and unlocked the door. Sol was sitting on the couch watching television when we walked inside. He did a double take, then smiled and nodded. “It’s about fucking time you showed up.”

Lock gave him the finger but smiled.

I’ve never been up here before, but the place was small with a living room that had a couch and television in it. The dining room/kitchen was just a large space on the opposite side of the living room. It had a small table with four chairs around it and a small galley type kitchen.

The hallway in the apartment led you to the bedroom and bathroom down the hall.

“Where’s Noelle?” I asked him.

“Don’t worry about Noelle. She’s somewhere else being heavily guarded,” Lock told me, then moved closer to Sol. I watched Lock and Sol talk briefly, then moved into the kitchen to see what was inside the small fridge.

Lock said behind me, “Sol bought a few things; milk, eggs, cereal, and water, shit like that. If you need anything else, let him know and whoever comes to relieve him will have it.”

“Okay.”

Lock moved close to me and put his hands on my shoulders, something that he’s never done in his life. I tried to act natural, but I wanted to smile. I was feeling all bubbly.
Maybe he doesn’t hate me anymore.

“Listen, Ayana, I don’t want you to worry about anything. All the information you gave us is helpful, and we are going to keep the two of you safe while I figure out what we need to do. Noelle’s offer to testify if we need her is going to help the case tremendously.”

“How are you going to get into the fights?” I asked him. “They are brutal. Lock.” I took a deep breath. “If you need me—” He cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

“The times of you being in danger are over, Ana. I won’t jeopardize your safety. Besides, my brother would fucking kill me.”

I smiled as he stepped back from me. He looked over at Sol. “Call me if there are any issues, and I’ll see you tonight.”

As he walked out the door, I hoped and prayed to get this thing finished by my deadline. I didn’t think Brad’s patience was going to last any longer.