My Kiasu Teenage Life in Singapore (16 page)

I can just imagine how much Nancy will love you if you're here 'coz she'll be SO impressed with your piano playing. Mine's terrible and she's impressed. She'll jack you. She's very good at jacking people.

I was given a list to choose from for my AEP O level project: architecture, sculpture, landscaping, photography (requires extra expenses), stained glass (also expensive), ceramics (boring), costume, jewellery, etc. I want something adventurous and challenging that is outdoors, and not something where I'll be sitting in a room trying to think what to do. I still do not know what to do. I want to stay here for JC (Junior College), I think.

Isn't it funny—in the future, everyone we know will be married and have a profession? Well, good night (although it might not be night when you're reading this).

Love, Pei Yi (The Now-Keeps-Wanting-To-Improve)

Thursday 3 September

Dear Mei Yee

Hi!

Nancy showed me a book entitled
The Unexplained.
Some Christians and popes exhibit signs of Jesus' crucifixion! They may have scars on their hands where Jesus was nailed, some bleed from their head!!

I think it's so silly of me to “save a minute and waste an hour”. To save time, last night I wrote one short paragraph in the toilet. Later, however, I wasted two hours reading a trashy romance book. After that, I wished I'd used those two hours more wisely.

Tuesday was a holiday 'coz it was Teachers' Day. Just now, we watched
Weekend Reunion
—a movie from the Archie comics about what happened when all of them met 15 years after graduation. Archie is engaged to a new girl, Veronica has divorced four times, Betty has a bully as a boyfriend. Very, very funny.

Oh ya, I just found out that Apollo landed on the moon in 1969 so it's a good thing that the people did not ask me to answer when I raised my hand.

I'm always feeling bothered. It's very bad and it's 'coz it's sort of my habit and I just always subconsciously succeed in finding something to be bothered about. Very bad. I must stop thinking of things that could have been. I'm always thinking, “If I'd been in 3S1, I might have found someone who could discuss things that are interesting”; “If I'd been in 3S1, I could ask Mr Tan. And he'd teach very well. The way he solved the questions is very good. I wouldn't be having problems in class.” In fact I think everyone except me looks like they have no problems. Never mind. I must forget my problems concerning my class and just think that someday the problems won't be there anymore. It's pretty weird, things that seem to be a big problem to you at one time can seem so trivial when you look back at it next time.

For the whole of this month, there's a “Speak Mandarin Campaign”. Everyday, there'll be a simple conversation written in the newspapers and you can call toll-free to listen to a recorded conversation to teach you. I'm going to call daily. Huiwee's teaching me some Chinese. I wish I was learning Chinese instead of Malay 'coz every Malay period's just a waste of time. No improvement, instead I'm deteriorating.

Next week is one-week hols! Yippee!!! Tomorrow is the last day of school for the term.

I was joking when I wrote that I want to take a cooking course—maybe, if I cook really delicious dishes for Eric's mother, she will force him to marry me!

I'm really looking forward to the holidays. I'm going to start studying for the exams. Is it amazing to start a month ahead? Everyone here is constantly studying, improving and becoming cleverer and cleverer, so it's not amazing to start studying so soon. Final exams are three weeks after school reopens. Remember you once said, “What's the use of being clever?” I think life is only meaningful with knowledge. I think if you were to come to Singapore, you'd do very well.

Well, BYE.

Love, Pei Yi

Friday 11 September

Dear Mei Yee

Hi! It's now 3 am. No, I just checked the clock—it's 5.10 am on Friday. The reason I did not sleep last night was we went to the Educational Night Tour. Oh no, holidays are coming to an end—I enjoyed myself tremendously and I still have a lot of things to do and study.

Let me start from where I last stopped writing. Elizabeth, Nicole, Jen Nee and I went to Omnimax to watch a 3D show. It was
The Great Barrier Reef (in
Australia) and it cost an exorbitant S$10!

Today there were Caucasians playing rugby at the hostel field and Jen Nee was so excited 'coz she thinks Caucasians are cute.

Now about the Educational Night Tour—first, we had supper at a place called Lau Pa Sat where there are food stalls. S$3 for a plate of fried
kuay teow.
Then we played some games and walked around West Coast Park, where many couples seem to enjoy the seaview in the dark. By the way, this tour is free and it's very educational. Two male wardens who're very fun and nice went with us and Ms Lily Sim (Ass-man) came too. She flirted with the JC guys. The only Sec 3 guys were Matt, Cheng Hoe and Eric. I think Matt is self-centered and wants to control everything. At Lau Pa Sat while having supper, we played Truth or Dare—we turn a straw on the table and if you're picked, you have to answer any question the person at the other end of the straw asks. When Jen Nee asked Cheng Hoe which girl in the hostel he fantasizes about, he said, “No one” and that's the truth. Matt says he has never talked about girls. He just doesn't! Weirdo. Luckily I wasn't picked 'coz if they ask me about liking someone, I'd have to say “Eric” or do something they dare me to.

Then we went to an abattoir—where pigs are slaughtered. It was a very enlightening, emotional and horrifying experience. The worst thing about the abattoir was the hair-raising wails and screams of the pigs. When the pigs were in the pen, about to be electrocuted to make them unconscious, they knew they were going to die. The screams could be heard even from the pen outside the abattoir. At first I thought it was the noise of machinery! They had to be forced and beaten to go to be electrocuted. Then their throats were slit but they looked as if they're still struggling, even with their legs hanging up. The red blood gushed out like a tap turned on full force. The pigs looked like they were choking on their own blood.

We saw many, many pigs, one after another, like they were toys in a factory line. The pigs went into a machine where jets of boiling water removed their hairs. Then they went through a fire that burns away fine hairs. Many workers along the machine line cut up their carcasses and their organs to be sold. There are hundreds and hundreds of pigs slaughtered every night!

The air was filled with the pungent stench of pig blood. I held my nose throughout the whole thing but most people could stand it. It's totally terrible to work here. I feel sorry for all the workers. The man cutting the throats waved at us.

After watching all that, we went outside. Some nice workers answered our questions. They get S$60 a night—they're from Malaysia 'coz Singaporeans do not want this terrible job.

Then we went to the pen which really stunk of shit and all the smelliest things. I was horrified to see the pigs being forced into the abattoir where they would be electrocuted. They were struggling and wailing in desperation while being whacked and pushed into a death sentence for a crime they did not commit. Actually, they looked quite cute. I looked at one and the eyes looked so sad that I started crying. It was very embarrassing. Luckily it was quite dark and only a few people knew. I've decided not to eat pork for the rest of my life. I know killing chicken or fish or ants is just the same—they all have lives—but I just can't eat pork anymore.

The eerie thing 'bout the pigs' screams was that it sounded human-like—like women screaming as they're being tortured.

Everyone was excited about going to Bugis Street during the Night Tour 'coz there're supposed to be many transvestites there but we just passed by (did not alight for safety reasons) and we did not see a single transvestite. Or many we couldn't tell from their appearance.

I've so much to prepare for Final Exams. I haven't done much work during the hols. I'm reading
The History of Art.
All the way from cave paintings to Sumerian to Greek to Roman to Modern Art.

Sometimes I wish I was a good flirt and sometimes I don't care. I think it's better to care 'bout studies first—like Eric does. But then, every girl either has a very good impression of him or likes him.

Sunday 12 September

Dear Mei Yee

Today is the last day of holiday—Sunday 12/9!! I wish I can stop time. I still haven't received your letter!! Did you receive mine—the one with Eric's answers to the survey??

Friday was Mid-Autumn Festival so we carried lanterns and walked around the hostel at night.

Then we watched
Mary Lou Prom Night II
on TV. Did you watch
Irreconcilable Differences?
I think it's on Malaysian TV. Very funny.

Yesterday, Jen Nee and I went to Yoonphaik's church to watch a video 'bout satanism in pop music. The songs the heavy-metal groups sing are terrible. They advocate free sex, satanism, drug abuse, violence and suicide. Their songs have caused many teenagers to commit torture killings. USA is such a wild country. The pictures of their CDs are horrible—terrifying skulls, monsters, devils and signs of satanism.

They draw really devilish and diabolical stuff such as a goat's head inside a star. Their lyrics read: “Suicide is a solution to problems. I can't stand my meaningless life anymore. I take a gun and put it in my mouth. Soon I will be free …” and “Slick and Slide. I push it in. Make love till you are blind.” The dancing on stage is like making love, no, I mean having sex. They teach really bad values. I wonder why they want to do that. Anyway, I've never liked stupid noisy heavy metal. But those groups have tons of fans and sometimes they go so wild that they kill each other during concerts. I saw this concert where the rock star cut his own arm with a sword and drank cups of blood! Axl Rose of Guns and Roses has a ring on his nipple!! Samantha Fox, Bananarama, George Michael, Bobby Brown, Elvis Presley and the Beatles are among the worst groups.

I just LOVE children's storybooks. I read a few at a rent-a-book bookstore at Coro. So cute! I love the illustrations. The plot is cute and the characters are cute. There's one 'bout a group of farm animals. This sheep is very silly. When all the animals sit down to think of an idea, they all have “thought bubbles” above their heads but the sheep's bubble is empty! Ha! Ha! Ha!

BYE. PLEASE REPLY SOON!

Love, Pei Yi

Tuesday 14 September

Dearest Mei Yee

Hi! I'm so happy to receive your letter—at last!

Congrats for getting a Merit for Quartet. Why do you say your social life is zero? I think it's OK 'coz you mix with Jackson and orchestra people. Actually in class, Huiwee is my only good friend. But I'm not bothered and I don't regret going to my class anymore. I guess I learned from my feeling-bothered-about-my-class times and have managed to adapt.

Mei Yee, please don't worry that our friendship won't be close anymore! Just because my best friend in Singapore is Jen Nee doesn't mean that you and me aren't best friends for life! We will always be best friends. Also, I can tell you some things that I can't tell Jen Nee. I think it's because she's here that there is a little bit of competitiveness between us, even though it's not out in the open. Just a little bit. Like I will be a little jealous if she does better than me overall. Please, please, please come to JC in Singapore a year from now. Then you, me and Jen Nee will have so much fun!

About Eric … I'm in love with him but as usual all the guys I like do not like me. I must try to talk to Eric more, like when I see him reading newspapers. The trouble is I do not know what to talk to him about. Oh ya, Eric has good grooming and dressing sense, he always looks very clean and “put together” and he has a beautiful body. He also gives me the impression that he is very interesting and fun to be with. The long and short of it is that I'm head over heels in crush with him. I wish that he and I were good friends (since bf and gf seems too remote a possibility). Oh ya, I just remembered. When we were doing deco for Farewell and Eric was on his hands and knees, drawing on the huge paper on the floor, he looked so … so gorgeous. (His body, I mean.) Well, if you're disgusted … bye. Reply soon.

And how did you know I'll fall in love with Eric? Actually I guess I knew it too but I just didn't want to.

Love, Pei Yi

Wednesday 16 September
(Haven't eaten pork for six days)

Dear Mei Yee

Guess what? I came forth in the chess competition! Yes! I'm so happy. At first I thought that only the winner would get a trophy but there're actually four trophies. Three of the top four winners were Malaysians, and one was Singaporean. Next year, I'm resigning from swimming, violin and choir and joining chess and LDDS (Literary, Drama and Debate Society). If I join chess, then I can go with them to all the competitions against other schools. Actually, I like Choir too but there're too few Choir members (only 20!) and we never do much, not even competitions or performances.