Need Me (10 page)

“You are so fucking sexy,” Devlin said.

He made her feel sexy.

They were in the middle of the bed, and his hands were tight around her hips as he lifted her up and down. She moved faster and faster, driven to find her release. Her breath choked out, her heart raced, and she clamped her muscles tightly around him. He was so thick and full within her, and her climax was coming, she could feel it drawing closer and closer.

Her hands flew out and curved around the headboard. Using that grip, she moved harder, took him in deeper with the wild thrust of her hips.

“Yes,”
Devlin said. “Hell, yes.” And his right hand rose to shove her bra out of the way. His fingers stroked over her nipples, tugging, and a bolt of sensation seemed to shoot straight from her nipples to her sex.

She pushed down on him, rose up, drove down again. She needed to come. She was so close, that release tempting her—

His upper body reared up and his mouth closed around one breast. He sucked her nipple, a strong, hard pull, even as his hips surged against her again. She went over the edge, and Julianna cried out. She yelled her pleasure, she shook…she felt like she damn well quaked as that release rolled through her whole body.

“
Fucking sexy…”
Devlin’s voice roughened even more. “I can feel you squeezing me.”

She could barely breathe, much less manage any kind of speech back to him.

But Devlin wasn’t done. He held his body still as her climax rocked through her, but then he said, “Now we finish,” before he switched their positions in a flash, securing her beneath him. He lifted her legs, putting them over his shoulders so that she was open even more to him. He thrust into her, driving into her core, and she shouldn’t have felt another burst of pleasure.

But she did.

He thrust into her, moving in a fast and frantic rhythm, and all she could do was feel. Hold on tight in that wild ride and let the pleasure soar through her. It was as if her climax had never ended—maybe it hadn’t. Maybe—

He shuddered against her. Devlin kissed her deep and hard and she could feel his cock jerking inside of her with the force of his release. His grip was tight, but not painful. He was holding onto her as if he never wanted to let her go. And she could taste the pleasure in his kiss. That heady euphoria. The rush she didn’t want to end.

Julianna wished that she could see his face. She remembered what he’d looked like before, back at the house, when his blue gaze had gone blind with pleasure. The sight had taken her breath.

No, he’d done that.

Very slowly, he withdrew from her. She didn’t move. Julianna was pretty sure she never wanted to move again.

A few moments later, he was back. Gently, he smoothed a warm cloth over spots that were starting to feel a wee bit achy, in a good way. When he started to rise again, Julianna caught his hand. She should be careful now. The hard desire had been satisfied. They should both go their separate ways. They should—

He climbed back into the bed with her.

His arms slid around her as he pulled her against him, cradling her.

Julianna didn’t speak. Neither did he.

Screw what they
should
do. Julianna’s eyes began to close. For that night, she’d stay with him.

“Drink your wine.”

She had a wine glass in her hand. Julianna was back at home—Jeremy’s home. She stared down at that wine, then up at Jeremy’s handsome face. Who knew evil could look like a GQ ad? She did, now. “I’m leaving.” Her fingers curled around the stem of the wine glass.

A smirk twisted his lips. “Leave…and your darling little sister will get her ass thrown in jail.”

Julianna shook her head. “I won’t let you do that.” Not to Carly. She’d protect her sister. There had to be another way. Ethan had said they’d find a way. That he would help her.

Jeremy laughed at her. “Let’s see you try and stop me.”

She drank that wine. Not because he told her to do it. Not because she liked it. But because she needed a little liquid strength. “No.” Her voice was firm. “Let’s see you try and stop
me
.” Because she was done letting him control her. Done with the pain and the horror and the shame that rolled through her. She’d mistaken a monster for a man. But the time for regrets was long gone. “I’m leaving you. My bags are packed and I—”

Jeremy was laughing again. She hated the sound of his laughter. So self-assured. So arrogant. “Oh, sweetness. You’re not going any place. Soon, you’re not even going to be able to stand, much less leave me.”

Another threat. When would he see that she was serious?

She turned from him and headed for the door. Only the door seemed so far away.

His arm wrapped around her neck, jerking her back against him. “You think I’d let you publicly humiliate me like that?”

Her glass fell to the floor.

“I don’t even know what the fuck it is about you…” His breath blew against her cheek. “Obsessed. Fucking obsessed. There’s one way to deal with an obsession.” Then he yanked her around to face him.

Only…his face was blurry. It shouldn’t have been. Not with only one glass of wine.

He kissed her. Hard. Rough. She could taste blood and knew that he’d busted her lip. She tried to push against him, but it seemed to take so much energy just to lift her hands.

“Stop fighting.”

She felt the sharp edge of a knife under her chin.

“Should’ve worked faster…I gave you more than enough to take you down…”

Enough what? And why couldn’t she see him clearly?

“I am fucking obsessed with you, and that’s a weakness. I won’t allow for any more weaknesses.”

She didn’t dare move, not with the knife so close.

“It’s time for you to understand who’s in charge here, sweetness. I have the power.
Me
. Not you.”

Anger burned through her, pushing back some of that strange numbness that she felt sliding through her limbs.

“And tonight, you won’t be sleeping alone. Not tonight, not ever again. I married you, I own you.”

She shook her head. Did the blade prick her skin?

“And I’m going to fuck you. I gave you some time, why didn’t you appreciate that shit? I figured you’d come back to me, begging to get in my bed.”

He was crazy.

“You were supposed to offer yourself to me.”

In his dreams.

“But you didn’t, so I’m just going to take whatever I damn well want now.”

She shoved at him, as hard as she could. Startled, Jeremy stumbled back.

“Leaving…you…” Why were her words slurred?

He’d dropped the knife. She picked it up and almost fell over when she did. No, she
did
fall. Julianna realized she was on her hands and knees, trying to crawl. Everything felt funny and the room was tilting.

But she still had the knife. It was her protection.

“You bitch.” His hands closed around her hips. Jeremy heaved her around to face him. “You don’t fight me, I’ll kill—”

She shoved the knife at him. It sank into his chest. There was a wet, sloshing sound. A terrible, terrible sound. His eyes widened. Shock was there because he hadn’t expected her attack. But he wasn’t going to hurt her again. She’d kill him first.

Julianna pulled the knife out of him. Jeremy’s hand rose, covering the wound that poured blood. She tried to scramble back, but couldn’t. Her lashes were sagging, too heavy now.

Why did she feel that way?

Her tired gaze slid to the wine glass on the floor. She remembered his words. Had he said he’d given her something? Had he
drugged
her?

“Sweetness…” Jeremy grabbed for her again.

And she stabbed at him with the knife.

***

“Julianna!”

Her eyes flew open. She couldn’t see anything at first. It was too dark, just like before…when she’d had red wine and a knife. Julianna swung out with her fist, punching and hitting as she fought for her freedom.

A man was swearing and reaching out for her.

She hit him harder and knew that she was fighting for her life. She knew—

Light flashed on. Light from a lamp on the bedside table.

Julianna blinked against that light, then she scrambled from the bed. Totally naked, she ran toward the bathroom, but then she froze.

I’m not at home. Jeremy isn’t with me.

She risked a glance over her shoulder. Devlin was in the bed. He hadn’t moved to follow her. His hand was still out, near the lamp. As she watched him, his hand rose and rubbed under his left eye. A red spot was already forming there.

I hit him?

“I’m guessing that was one hell of a nightmare,” Devlin murmured.

Goosebumps covered her body. No big surprise considering the fact that she was standing there, stark naked, in the middle of the bedroom.

Devlin slid to the edge of the bed and stood. Julianna instantly tensed.

“Easy.” He lifted his hands in front of him. “I’m not going to make the mistake of touching you again. Just take it easy, okay? When you want me to touch you, say it. And if you want me to keep standing the hell back, I can do that, too.”

She didn’t know what she wanted right then. She’d had nightmares before, plenty of terrible dreams since Jeremy’s murder. But those dreams usually faded when she woke and Julianna had just been left with a dark, gnawing fear inside of her.

This time, things were different. This time, she hadn’t forgotten. This time…

I think I’m the killer.

What had brought the memories back? Heather’s attack? All of the fear she’d felt recently? One of the dozen shrinks she’d spoken to after being arrested had told her that her memories of that night
could
come back, provided she had a strong enough trigger.

The cops had wanted to lock Julianna up from the beginning. The Press had said she was guilty. But she’d been so sure that someone else must have come into the house and murdered Jeremy.

Sure, the evidence had shown her prints on the knife. Jeremy’s blood had been on her clothes but…

But I thought there had to be another explanation.

She’d thought wrong.

“I’m sorry,” Julianna told Devlin. Her lips felt numb. No, her whole body did.

He frowned at her. “For what?”

“H-hitting you.” She’d been fighting blindly. She’d never meant to hurt him, but she had.

“Forget it.” He didn’t come any closer, but his eyes were blazing with emotion. “You were having a nightmare.”

Julianna shook her head, then she stopped, realizing just what she’d nearly confessed.

“You
weren’t
having a nightmare?” Devlin asked, cocking his head to the side.

No, the past wasn’t a nightmare. It was reality.

She grabbed for her clothes. She could feel the weight of Devlin’s gaze as he stood there watching her. Watching, but not touching. Keeping his word.

In seconds, she was dressed. She wondered if he saw the tremble of her fingers. Julianna knew she had to tell him something. She couldn’t just run off in the middle of the night.

She also couldn’t just stay there.

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

“Julianna…”

“I have to go.” She had to figure out what to do. Spending the rest of her life in a jail cell wasn’t an option she wanted, but lying and hiding the truth? Could she do that forever? She turned for the door.

“Don’t.” The one word was bit out.

Her shoulders stiffened. In that moment, Julianna couldn’t look back at him. “You don’t really know me, Devlin. You know what you see, but that’s just surface. You should stay away from me.” He didn’t need to get pulled down into the mess that was coming. If she went to the cops,
when
she went to them, the media would be all over her.

If Devlin was with her, they’d tear into his life, too.

He didn’t need that hell.

“Where are you going?” Devlin asked her. She heard the hiss of a zipper behind her. He must have put on his jeans.

“Home.” The home she hated. But it would have to do, for the time being.

“And how are you getting there? Dammit, let me help you! You hired me to—”

“I don’t need a bodyguard any longer. My stalker is in jail.” She had to get away from Devlin. If she told him the truth, no, she didn’t want to see the way he’d look at her. He’d worked hard to get away from the crimes in his past. “I’ll call a taxi, and I’ll be fine.”

“You’re
not
fine.”

No, she was shaking apart on the inside. “Good-bye, Devlin.” Because it had to be good-bye. She wasn’t any good for him.

She was a killer.

Julianna walked out of that bedroom and left him behind.

***

What. The. Fuck?

Julianna had left him. No, not just left, but straight up run from him. In the middle of the damn night. She hadn’t even looked at him. When the cab had arrived, she’d rushed outside and that had been it. No more good-byes, no more nothing.

Devlin stood outside, watching the tail-lights of that taxi as it disappeared. He was still in his jeans and the t-shirt he’d grabbed and snow fell down on him. His toes were quickly growing numb out there, but he didn’t care.

Something was wrong with Julianna. Very, very wrong.

She’d been on fire in his arms just two hours before. She’d been warm and trusting in the aftermath, holding him close, letting down all of her defenses.

He’d slept with her in his arms, and he’d felt more at peace right then…hell, he’d had more peace in those moments than he’d had in too long to remember.

Her voice had woken him. A fitful whisper.
“Leaving you…”
He’d understood those words. Then she’d muttered something else. Something about her bags. Had she said they’d been packed?

The tail-lights were gone now. He turned and headed back into his house. His first stop was his computer, and he pulled up every single file he had on Julianna…and on Jeremy Smith’s murder.

Yes, the cops had found her with the deceased bastard. Julianna had been unconscious when the police arrived. She’d had her husband’s blood on her. The murder weapon had been near her right hand.

He typed in a few passwords that he shouldn’t know, and a few seconds later, he was staring at crime scene photographs.

Devlin pressed closer to the screen as he studied the photos. There was a wine glass on the floor. Very close to the dead body. Only the top of that wine glass had been smashed. The carpeting was damn lush in that room, he’d seen it for himself. It would take more than just a stray tumble for that glass to shatter that way.

He zoomed in on the picture. Jeremy Smith had been stabbed thirteen times. That much violence sure took one hell of a lot of rage.

“
Leaving…you…”
Julianna’s voice whispered through his mind once more.

According to her own signed statements, Julianna didn’t remember anything that happened that night, not after she’d been given a glass of wine by her husband.

The wine was gone. Not spilled on the carpet with that smashed glass. Gone.

Did he drug her?

But…

Devlin couldn’t help but wonder, had Julianna remembered more? Remember something else that had scared her? Because he knew she’d been afraid. She’d fought him so desperately in that bed, damn near breaking the heart he hadn’t realized he’d had.

“Don’t hurt me…”
A plea she’d made even before her eyes opened.

Jeremy had hurt her, though. Again and again.

Devlin pulled out his phone. He hesitated, then called the one person he thought could help. His call was answered on the second ring. Devlin didn’t identify himself. He just said, “Julianna needs you.”

***

She’d had the cab just…drive for about an hour. An hour while she sat huddled in the back, trying to get up the nerve to return home. But, finally, Julianna had realized she couldn’t hide any longer.

She’d finally gone home. The cab pulled away even before Julianna opened the door to the Smith estate. She twisted the key in the lock and then turned the knob. The cold had her teeth chattering as she hurried inside. She turned off the beeping alarm and reached for the lights.

“
You shouldn’t be here.”

The voice came from the darkness behind her. Far, far too close. She started to whirl toward that voice, but hard hands grabbed her and shoved her forward, banging her head against the nearest wall.

She hit hard, but Julianna didn’t stay down.
Not again. Not ever again.
She gripped her keys between her fingers, turning them into sharp weapons, and she lunged up, whirling toward her attacker. She drove the keys at him just as hard as she could.

He swore and jumped back. It was so dark, she couldn’t see where he’d gone. The looming shadows stretched everywhere she turned. “Stay away from me!” Julianna yelled, lunging out with her keys. But she just hit air and—

Laughter. Cold chilling laughter came from the darkness.

“You weren’t supposed to be here,” that low voice rasped. “You were supposed to be with the new lover. But since you
are
here…” He lunged from the darkness and slammed into her. She drove her keys at him and heard his howl of pain, but he grabbed her wrist, her right wrist and twisted.

She screamed as agony shot through her.

“Still weak, isn’t it?” He had her pinned against the door. They’d crashed back into the wood. “If I apply just a little more pressure, I bet it’ll break again.”