Needs A Little TLC (Spinning Hills Romance 2) (19 page)

It hit her then, forcefully, that what she’d chosen to do with her life would never be enough for either of her parents. Being number one in her chosen niche in the state of Ohio would always be silly and insignificant to them. She felt like a blind fool for ever even entertaining the idea that anything less than national domination and glowing credentials would be enough for them.

Her mother began to cry, and Cassie climbed across the bed to hold her, feeling like a fraud. Ten years ago, her heart had been full of concern and empathy for her mother. But now all she could conjure up was a tight knot of resentment.

Her phone rang. “It’s Dad,” she said and moved to answer.

“You’re going to talk to him?” her mother demanded.

Cassie snapped. She’d never wanted to see it before, had felt shame every time the thought had crept in, but anger that wouldn’t go away would not allow her to deny it. Her mother’s empathy switch defaulted to
self-absorbed
and people like Cassie enabled it to remain that way. “He’s my dad. Please stop forgetting that,” she said through gritted teeth, before picking up the phone and heading to the room’s balcony.

“Are you with your mom?” her father asked without ceremony.

“Yes.”

“Good. She needs you right now.” A long silence ensued. “I’m sorry,” he said after a while, and Cassie could hear the lump in his throat. With the exception of one all-out screaming match in which she’d informed her father she’d dropped out of college and he’d accused her of doing it to punish him, they’d never talked about the affair. It was too awkward.

Their relationship during the years since had gone from cold and civil to a quiet acceptance. They spoke often, never saying anything important and no longer agreeing on much, but with a knowledge of loving each other just the same. The one thing Cassie could never get past was why her parents hadn’t quit while they were ahead. They had to have known her father’s affair with their secretary’s daughter and Cassie’s onetime babysitter would haunt them sooner or later.

“I know, Dad,” she said on a sigh.

“Thanks for that, princess. Hide out with her for a while, will you?”

Cassie closed her eyes. “I can’t hide out for long. I’m almost thirty years old, and I have a life and responsibilities.”

“Now’s not the time. You need to lie low until it all blows over. It’s for your own sake. Your own failures will be magnified now, too, and God knows I’m sorry for it, but it is what it is and we have to weather the storm.”

Cassie counted to ten and waded through everything she wanted to say. “I agree we all have to weather the storm, but I’m not a failure and I’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t need to hide out.”

“That’s not what I meant, Cass. Don’t take it that way. You know how the world works and how people perceive things. All I meant is that they’ll go after you, too.”

“That’s how your world works, Dad. That’s why I’m not a part of it. And it’s why you should’ve seen this coming and dropped out of the public’s eye years ago.” Cassie clicked off the phone before remorse and guilt took over.

Back inside, her mother looked years older than when Cassie had left, only five minutes before. She was staring at the TV with dull eyes.

When Cassie looked over at the television, she understood. It was 2 a.m. The story was beginning to get picked up by the networks. Sandy had muted the television, so they couldn’t hear what anyone was saying, but at the bottom of the screen, the headline was clear: “Breaking News: Senator McGillicuddy Affair with Daughter’s Babysitter Revealed.”

Cassie thought her mother would be spitting furious words when it finally happened, but she looked too dead inside to feel anything. “Was it ever real?” her mother asked, as images of her and her dad throughout the years flashed across the screen.

Cassie sat next to her mom and took her limp hand in her own. “Do you—do you remember falling in love?” she asked, not sure it was the right thing to ask.

Her mother shook her head. “I don’t know. I remember being as dazzled by him as I was by me. That had never happened before. I remember seeing our future so clearly after I met him. I knew we could go far.”

Cassie stared at her mother. She’d never heard such candor from her before. “You were . . . dazzled by yourself?”

“I was.” Sandy sighed. “I’d always stood out. I felt beautiful and smart and I knew my worth. I also knew that could rub people the wrong way. But Max . . . he was a people person. He had it all, and he looked genuine to boot.” She nodded toward the television and said, “And I saw that future. I don’t think I knew what love really was until I had you, though.”

Pictures of Brittany walking around Washington with Cassie, the two of them holding hands and eating ice cream, popped onto the screen and Cassie averted her eyes. She had loved and trusted Brittany like a sister. It still hurt, and she was tired of hurting.

“And now the life we worked so hard to build is gone. And in their eyes, we’re all nothing but frauds.” Her mom turned her face to the side and began crying and Cassie scooted closer. How could her mom not see it had been her choice to stay? To stand beside her father as he ran for office again and again?

Her mom’s phone rang, and she looked down at it. “It’s your father,” she breathed out. “You answer it.”

Cassie answered and listened stoically, though inside she spiraled further into confusion. She covered the receiver’s microphone with her finger. “Dad wants to know if we can all meet. They’re wondering where you two are, why you haven’t released a statement, and they’re digging up the fact that I dropped out of college ten years ago and making the connection.”

“They’re blaming us for that, too?” Her mom’s voice wobbled.

Cassie closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Can we meet with Dad or not? Jim Carney is saying we need to present a united front.”

“He hired Jim Carney?” her mom asked, repeating the name of a DC public relations guru. “Smart. That’s a first,” she said, her bitter tone back.

“Mom? They’re waiting.”

Sandy sighed. “I suppose we must.”

Cassie set up a meeting, wondering if her parents would stay together or call it quits. Thoughts that would have devastated her years before now rolled off her. She was as numb as her mother looked.

All she could think about was snuggling back into the cocoon she’d built for herself. It had been missing a layer, but ever since she’d been back in Spinning Hills, it was feeling more complete. Her parents had built a fish tank life, and she could not allow herself to be pulled back into it.

They decided to meet right there in that room, since the hotel staff had so far been either clueless or discreet. As her mom got ready, Cassie went over her options in her head, and the only one that worked for her was staying 100 percent out of it. Not releasing a statement, not saying a word. Not even a plea for privacy. People would get tired of her soon enough. She wasn’t the real story. And even the real story would eventually be replaced.

When she looked up, she saw her mother watching her. “If I stay here any longer I’ll go mad, Cassidy. You and I should take a long vacation to somewhere far away. Italy, maybe. What do you think? Just the two of us. We can leave this all behind and come back when the next congressman caught with his pants down makes the news.”

Cassie shook her head. “I already told you, Mom. I can’t.”

Sandy lay on her side and stared catatonically at the night table beside her, tears streaming down her face. Cassie got into bed beside her mom and hugged her, the way she had ten years ago when Janice, her dad’s secretary, had first come to her mom with her suspicions of an affair between Senator McGillicuddy and her twenty-five-year-old daughter, Brittany, who had been Cassie’s longtime babysitter.

It was almost as if they had gone back in time. The difference was that Cassie had changed. Where once she’d felt fiercely protective of her mom and angry and disappointed in her dad, she now had complicated feelings for both parents.

It had taken her years to realize that her mother’s reliance on her had been unfair and wrong. That the whole thing had caused her to spiral into a depression. At the time, she’d thought she was being a good daughter by being there. Her mom’s anguish had felt like her struggle and responsibility, too.

At first, Cassie had been determined to prove Janice was wrong and that it was all a misunderstanding. From there, everything had somehow snowballed into Sandy pulling Cassie out of class countless times to have her follow her dad to see where he was going. Sandy had even pleaded with Cassie to follow her dad throughout Washington, convincing her that because of their very public lives, Cassie was the only one she could turn to and count on.

Her mother had even bought her a wig. Cassie shook her head, remembering the madness of it all. What she’d thought of as surviving by taking it day by day had really been a fight against the sadness and desperation engulfing her.

Sandy and Cassie had pored through her dad’s cell phone records, receipts, and accounts, until they’d finally had to face the truth. It had been the worst day of Cassie’s life.

The following months were filled with chaos between her parents, both of them bad-mouthing each other to her, and Cassie coming to terms with the fact that her parents’ marriage and her dad’s image was an illusion. It had taken her longer to see her mother’s image was an illusion, too.

The truth dawned on her the day her parents found out she’d dropped out of college. She’d missed too many days and too many tests because of holing up with her mom and chasing her dad around Columbus and Washington, and she didn’t have the tools and habits to weather it. Her parents had united once again, to rail against her for embarrassing them that way. They’d named other politicians’ children and their Ivy League schools and powerful careers and Cassie came up short in every way.

The idea that they might have had something to do with her struggles didn’t even cross their minds. They had too much at stake in the image game to see past the smoke and mirrors they themselves had created. They viewed everything through the warped lens of how things looked to others. It had made Cassie realize she had to live her life on her own terms.

And now, there she was again, twisting and turning next to her mom, while resentment, anger, worry, and sadness took turns pummeling her. The last time she looked at her phone, it was 4:36 a.m., her eyes were stinging, her head was pounding, and her phone’s battery was nearly dead.

But she couldn’t help it. She clicked her phone’s news icon and read a few headlines.

Brittany’s mom was alleging that Senator McGillicuddy had carried on numerous affairs, that his marriage was a sham, and that Sandy McGillicuddy had threatened to ruin Brittany if she ever spoke to the media.

And Cassie knew then she’d never know the full truth.

S
am, Dan, Johnny, Holly, and Emily waited. And waited. Every once in a while, someone would look down at their watch. They’d agreed to meet Cassie at her office at ten o’clock that Sunday. When she was half an hour late, Holly called and left her a message. When they didn’t hear back, they agreed to continue with their own plans and tasks and meet an hour later.

An hour later, no one had heard from Cassie. They began taking turns leaving her messages.

“This isn’t like her,” Johnny said. “Something must be holding her up.”

“Yes, but she has the fliers we’re supposed to distribute to each house, the one with the listings and the one with information about the community,” Holly said.

Dan looked over at Sam. “She’s also supposed to be setting up at each of the houses she’s listing.”

Sam silently raged. No, it wasn’t like the Cassie any of them knew. But it
was
like that Cassie who had disappeared on him numerous times years ago, for no given reason and without thought for consequences.

It made no sense.

Jenna Woods came up to them then. “Hey, everyone,” she greeted, her tone pleasant but purposeful. “I just visited a few businesses, but no one has the newsletter-like flier Cassie was talking about. I wanted to see how my article on the PTA turned out.”

Emily smiled brightly. “She’s been held up, but everything will be ready on time.”

Jenna didn’t look like she quite believed her, but to her credit, her smile didn’t falter. “All right. I’ll try again later,” she said, and headed up the street toward the park, where Tess Carpenter was most likely already decorating for her daughter’s birthday party. A party Jake had been invited to at the very last minute. Sam guessed Tess had been talked into it by the other moms, who were trying to work with them at Cassie’s behest. And Cassie was now MIA.

Sam headed up the street, too, to his office. Cassie had six of his listings, and she’d gone on and on about how she was going to bake vanilla sugar cookies in each house so they’d have that warm, lived-in smell, and how she’d have samples of the region’s best brownies, chocolates, coffee, and hot cocoa set out on each counter. All that took time, didn’t it? Where the hell was she?

He needed an offer on at least two homes soon, so he could close on them and have money in the bank before next month’s mortgage payments. He called, she didn’t pick up, and he hung up on the tone.

He sighed, slouched against his desk, and looked at the calendar on his wall. Due dates were circled in different colors. It wasn’t just his business that was at stake. Child support was due soon. Jake’s soccer cleats were getting tight, new team uniforms had been ordered, Jake’s teeth were going to need braces . . . Sam shot up and called Cassie again.

With every unanswered ring, his frustration mounted, and thinking on Jake’s uniforms had him remembering the one time he was the only guy on his college team without his. The way he was chewed out in front of his teammates after they lost. Getting suspended for violating the rules.

Cassie’s voice-mail greeting came on. Friendly and upbeat. As if she wasn’t messing with other people’s lives. Like the last time he’d called her over and over and over again. Last time, she hadn’t asked callers to leave a detailed message after the beep. “Where the hell are you?” he asked, teeth clenched, after the beep. “Everyone’s been calling you.
Everyone.
It’s not just me you’re letting down, don’t you get that?” he asked, his voice rising. “And it wasn’t just me last time, either. You took my car, knowing my uniform and gear were in the trunk, and you promised you’d get back on time. You never did, and we lost the game in part because of you. You let
my whole team down
, and you’re doing it again. I lost my scholarship last time, do you even know that? Do you even care that I got chewed out in front of everyone? I lost my scholarship and now I’m about to lost my whole damn business, and you’re off doing whatever the hell it is you’re doing that you can’t even answer our calls.” He threw the phone at the wall and it split into pieces. Another expense to add on to his never-ending list.

He ran both hands through his hair and down his face and turned to see his brothers gawking at him.
They’d heard.
He kicked his desk and threw himself down into his chair. He didn’t look at them and they didn’t move.

Finally, Dan blew a breath out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 

The alarm on Sandy’s cell phone woke them up. They looked at each other, both groggy-eyed and anxious. Cassie glanced down at her phone. It was dead. She shot up and connected it to her mother’s charger. A minute later, she saw she had twelve missed calls. She got out of bed, still dressed in the same suit she’d worn around Cincinnati the day before, and went to the bathroom to get herself as ready as possible while her phone charged enough for her to make some calls.

“I think we should stay here and hide out today, since we’re holding the meeting with your father and Jim Carney here,” Sandy said. “No newspapers and no more TV. I’m not ready to face this. I need time.”

“I can’t. I have to go to work.” Cassie rushed out of the bathroom and tried desperately to smooth the wrinkles out of her suit while she searched for her shoes.

“What?” Her mother sat up. “You can’t leave me alone. Not today.”

Cassie stared at her mother’s face and swallowed hard. She looked more vulnerable than ever. “I’m sorry, but Dad’s alone, too,” she said without thinking. At some point during the night, when she’d been desperately thinking about all the people counting on her, she’d realized this was her parents’ problem. A problem that affected her, but that she couldn’t let affect everyone else around her too. She listened to Emily’s early morning voice mail, then Holly’s, and then Johnny’s, with increasing shame. How could she have overslept?

“Your father? You’re thinking about your father? He brought this down on himself, and he brought it down on all of us, only we didn’t get to have the pleasure he had!”

She wasn’t doing this. There was no reasoning with her mom. Cassie slipped her shoes on, grabbed her purse and phone, and left. She texted everyone that she was on her way as she walked to the stairs, and then put her phone to her ear to listen to her messages as she rushed down. She was about to open the door to the lobby when she got to Sam’s voice mail.

She had never heard him so angry. His words froze her lungs and nearly brought her to her knees.

His uniform, in the trunk of his car, which she’d borrowed to follow her dad after her mother had showed up at her door, crying and disheveled, begging Cassie to borrow a car so they could follow her dad because he was in Columbus that day and it would be the perfect time to see if Janice’s words were true.

That was the day they’d actually caught him.

And when she’d finally gotten around to returning his uniform, she’d caught Sam kissing the beautiful blond girl. The thought that she’d missed his game and hadn’t gotten his uniform to him on time had fled the little space she’d devoted to it in her mind. Seeing her dad kissing her old babysitter and watching her mom have a mental breakdown had left little enough room.

It had never even occurred to her that he could have been suspended for not having that uniform. That he could lose his scholarship. It wasn’t until she gulped that she realized she was swallowing tears. She opened the lobby door with shaky hands.

She now had to face a part of the past and present she hadn’t even been aware of. Sam had counted on her once, because she’d told him he could, and she’d let him down. She was doing it all over again. And no matter what was going in her own life, she’d have to face up to it.

Her mom and dad would have to face everything, too.

The gigantic screen in the lobby was tuned to local TV. A huge picture of her freckled, sandy-haired, sincere-smiling dad was on the screen. “Big news out of Washington today. The
Washington Post
has learned that Max McGillicuddy, the popular senator from Ohio, carried on a secret two-year affair with his daughter’s former babysitter, who was also the daughter of his own secretary. Brittany Stine has offered physical proof of the affair and says she’s coming forward now because—”

Cassie rushed out the revolving door, knowing she had to block the scandal for now. If she could just keep moving, she could keep her thoughts at bay.

It was drizzling and Cassie sprinted to her car, calling Holly along the way, telling her she’d meet them all at Sam’s office in twenty minutes.

Why hadn’t Sam told her about his lost scholarship? His long-ago attempts to talk to her came back to her. She hadn’t let him explain a thing. After years of listening to twisted versions of truths on both her father’s and his opponent’s campaigns, after her father’s own betrayal and pathetic excuses, there was no way she’d have believed anything he said.

It still hurt, but she could see it clearly now. A young Sam being yelled at in front of his team, feeling like he’d let everyone down, and getting stripped of his scholarship . . . feeling let down by her.

He’d let her down and she’d never forgiven him. But she’d let him down first. What she’d done didn’t excuse him. But what he’d done didn’t excuse her either.

 

Sam faced his brother’s questions, shame slowly turning into a painful kind of relief.

“I can help with next month’s mortgage payments—” Dan was saying.

“No,” Sam said, adamant.

“It would be a loan—” he continued.

“No.” Sam slammed his fist down that time. “If we take care of what’s happening right here and right now, everything else will take care of itself. I believe that. All I need is for one of you to print new fliers and the other to get vanilla sugar cookies started at every house while I suit up to greet potential buyers.”

“Cookies? That’s the help you want from me.” Dan threw his hands up in the air. “Do I look like Betty Crocker to you? I’ll suit up, you print the fliers, and Johnny will bake. And we’ll revisit the topic of a loan later.”

Johnny’s eyes went wide. “I don’t know the first thing about baking. I’ll suit up, you—”

He was interrupted by Holly, who’d opened the door and stepped inside. “Cassie’s on her way.” She looked at Sam. “She says she’s been trying to call you, but she’s almost out of battery.” Dan and Johnny’s eyes trailed to Sam’s busted-up phone on the floor. Holly followed their gaze, closed her eyes, and shook her head, as if she didn’t want to know. “She’s bringing the fliers by first. If we each take a batch of fliers, we can distribute them just in time, while she heads off to change and set up. Apparently, she’s still in yesterday’s clothes.”

Yesterday’s clothes? Concern flooded the pit of his stomach and the accusations he’d flung at her voice mail came back to him.

The door opened and everyone turned toward it. Megan Cornerstone poked her head inside. “Oh my God, did you all hear?” she asked, sounding both shocked and concerned.

“Hear what?” Holly shook her head.

“Senator McGillicuddy had an affair with Cassie’s babysitter ten years ago. I just saw it on my phone. It’s breaking news. We’re thinking that’s why no one can find Cassie.” It took several beats for Megan’s words to sink in. No one said anything for a long moment. “I never did like him,” Megan continued. “But I like Cassie. I can’t imagine how she must be feeling.”

Finally, Dan swore under his breath, and they all looked at each other.

“Ten years ago,” Johnny repeated, looking at Sam. “Did Cassie know? Did you know?”

Sam pinched his nose. Ten years ago . . . Of course Cassie had known. Something like that would’ve torn her world apart.

 

Cassie ran into Sam’s office. Everyone was staring at her, looking as if they didn’t know quite what to do or say, and Cassie suddenly knew they knew. Tears threatened to fall. Everything was being blown wide open. Her family’s ugly secrets. The fact that they were all a pack of frauds selling a lie in campaign photo after campaign article after interview . . .

Her soul felt bare and too raw to be able to look anyone in the face. She plopped the fliers on a coffee table and said, “Pass them out now. We have just enough time.” She swallowed. “I’ve got to go get stuff ready. It’ll all get done. I promise.”

She left the office not knowing what to do or where to go next. She had to change. She had no fresh clothes. Her mother kept calling her and she hated herself for not answering. But she knew if she did, her own life would be sucked out of her and she’d wind up a prisoner of her mother’s anger and misery once again.

Selfish? Maybe. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t do it again. Ignoring her mother’s calls filled her with guilt. Ignoring everyone else who was counting on her would fill her with shame. And ignoring her own needs was no longer an option. She couldn’t spiral into a depression, only to wake up a year later, not knowing where her life had gone, again.

Before she could take another step, though, Sam and Holly each had one hand on her shoulders and were steering her back into the office. People at the park across the street were staring at her. “Right. I need to get ready,” she said to Sam and Holly, to fill the awkwardness surrounding them with words. If she kept talking about the details of the day, other things could be kept at bay. “Someone around here must have some clothes that fit me . . .”

“Emily called Jessica, who told her your size. Jessica’s already on her way, and Emily’s finding clothes for you. Don’t worry about a thing until she gets here, I’ll start distributing fliers.” Holly gave her a quick hug. “I’m a phone call away if you need me,” she whispered. “But I know you’ll be okay here with your old friends.” She smiled into her eyes and gave her one last squeeze.

Holly left and Cassie was left alone with her three oldest friends. They were quiet for a long while, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence.