Authors: Jon Paul Fiorentino
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Poetry, #World Literature
Is the gloomy posturing of signs worth holding vigil over?
Would you like to take a common holiday?
Are you parsimonious with signage?
liberate the object much?
Have you tasted operational gag orders?
Do you choke on wine?
Sometimes drunk Paris?
Whose full stop?
Are you faithing the critic?
Have you covered all manner of coverings?
Abhorrent lads abound in gaggles:
crashing CitroÃ«ns, phishing phenomenologies
eschewing exemplarity, neutralizing nutriment
melting margarine, slathering semiologies
politicizing predicates, imploring imperiality
let this be, here, only a metaphor:
a motherly earphone
Heroine of pleasant thug
prick up your ears
sit, self-healing, parasitic wrongdoer
athlete of merit or whoredom
now â hot-blooded royalty
finest fetish, dirt-poor warmth
neat hothead ovations
one-sided defeated impression
flaunted lepers do
I'm a hill
the halo of me
that often loved alarming
evaluations of the dupe friendship
credulous evil jerk impales
scum thrive on a prankishly
mode â chewable
an ugly, jeering baud
I'm thick and a wolf
brawny ace, nice sage
grow jauntier, analogue
Make a collage of cheap Excel bites
lure a performative and expel it
build, hurt, jet, repeat
that's what's bound to happen
the greedier changes
not herd, scene
they is no more
do die do
Right Before the Exam
1Â Â Get a good night's sleep. If necessary, take prescription-grade
painkillers and tranquilizers. You can generally obtain these
from a classmate. Do
exceed triple the recommended
dosage. you can generally find the recommended dosage on
the Internet. If not, use common sense.
2Â Â Eat emotionally. Don't go hungry. Get angry! Give in to
dysmorphia. Everyone thinks they're better than you.
3Â Â Gather your supplies the night before: pen, paper, calculator,
pocket defibrillator. Lay them out on your bedside table.
Whisper pseudo-aphorisms to them.
The Moment of Truth
1Â Â Read the directions once and
once. remember: first
thought, best thought.
2Â Â Take relaxing breaths at regular intervals. Failure to take
regular breaths may result in death.
3Â Â Count the number of pages in the exam. Find the square root.
4Â Â If feeling stuck, daydream! Use the imaginative potential
of your mind! Open yourself up to adventurous and erotic
5Â Â Reflect on the failures of your life so far. Divide these into
two categories: âsurface' and âdepth.' If your âdepth' failures
are more numerous than your âsurface' failures, ask to use the
washroom or âwater closet.'
6Â Â Remain.