Never Enough (39 page)
She arched, tipping her head back, exposing the long line of her neck, stretching so that her tits looked insanely good as her cunt squeezed down on him so hard he grunted.
Two thrusts later and he joined her, fucking into her pussy, now even slicker. Her inner muscles still squeezing here and there as climax worked through her.
He came so hard and so long he wondered if it would end, and finally was able to pull out and leave her for just a moment to deal with the condom and come back, getting on the bed and bringing her close to his body.
“Better than the slopes any day.” He nuzzled the back of her neck and she sighed happily.
“Indeed, Mister Brown. Indeed.”
19
The jet-setting thing made Gillian tired. But she couldn’t deny that all the close-knit family time she’d had with Adrian and Miles over the last ten days had rocketed them forward in their relationship.
She could believe they had a future. Could tell him she loved him without hesitation. Could receive his love in return without worry.
“You’re finally back!” Jules looked up with a smile when she came through the front doors of Tart.
“I am.” She unbuttoned the coat that had been one of what felt like a million presents from Adrian.
“Come and sit. I’ll get you some tea and we’ll catch up. When does Miles get back?”
She sat at her favorite place at the counter and watched Jules move in her own precise and graceful way.
“Tomorrow morning. Adrian took him to some sort of all-ages show and then they played video games with Brody and Cope until far after midnight apparently. He sent me an e-mail about it.” She laughed. “Today?” She shrugged. “I think they’re going over to Seattle Center and the EMP.”
“Look at you! Letting him go a little. You okay with that?”
“Adrian is good with him. Brody is a great dad too. He likes being with them. You should see it.” She smiled. “At first I was worried, you know? I worried Miles would get lost amid all those big giant male personalities.”
“Not the case?”
“No. You and Mary were right. He’s thriving with them in his life. They don’t push him so hard he feels bad, but they encourage him to try new things. It’s good for him, and I think maybe good for them too.”
Finally, all customers had been served and the tea was ready and Jules slid into the seat next to Gillian.
“Okay, get to talking. You texted that he liked the scarf. I told you he would. How did he react?”
“I felt so stupid giving it to him. You should have seen that place on Christmas morning, Jules. Those Browns and Copelands sure do know how to throw a holiday party. But yes.” She smiled, remembering Adrian’s face as he opened the box with the scarf and watchman’s cap she’d knitted for him.
“Fuck that.” Jules waved it away. “He digs you. Like, major. Your knitting would have meant more to him than an expensive present and you know it.”
Gillian blushed. “He wore it every day we were there. Of course he gave me this coat and more things than I can list. I’ve given up trying to tell him no. He’s like a child!”
“Good. On the giving-up-telling-him-no stuff, I mean. Jeebus, Gillian, he’s not any of those jerks your mom brought home. A new pair of boots does not mean he expects pussy in exchange.”
“That’s good since I already gave it to him for free.”
Jules tipped her head back and laughed. “I miss you when you’re gone. Texts aren’t the same.”
“I missed you too.
I like them
. I do. They’re fun people I enjoy being with. Miles adores each and every one of them and they adore him right back.”
I like them
. I do. They’re fun people I enjoy being with. Miles adores each and every one of them and they adore him right back.”
“But?”
“They’re all so close-knit.” She sipped the tea Jules slid in front of her. “They have this ease with each other and when I’m there I know Adrian wants me to feel it too. But how can I? I feel guilty. And then I get angry that I feel guilty because they’ve had years and years and I’ve had four months. It takes time to build relationships like that. It’s not as if I’m off by myself when I’m with them. That’s not it at all. I laugh and have fun and all that. But—”
“But you’re not that person. You’re not instant intimacy. Oh sure, you have it with Adrian, but that’s something unique in your life.”
“I try. I do. They’re so close and they share everything and I just can’t sit and gossip and spill all my details with them. Not like they do with each other.”
Jules squeezed her hand. “Baby, they understand. They can’t possibly expect you to be as close to them as they are with each other. I don’t know them as well as you do, obviously, but they seemed to like you. Has anyone said anything?”
“No. Of course not. They’re all very nice people. And I
do
like them and want to get to know them better.”
do
like them and want to get to know them better.”
“You need time, and they’re not dumb. They’ll give you that time and you’ll all get to know each other, and one of these days you’ll be as comfortable as they all are. You’re worth the wait to get to know. Did you have fun at least?”
She sighed happily and dug into the slice of pear tart that had appeared before her. “My favorite. I missed this too. As for fun? I did. I feel like a character from a novel. He sort of swept me off my feet. A helicopter ride. A house with a pool
and
a boat dock. Though we also had paparazzi. I didn’t like that part.
and
a boat dock. Though we also had paparazzi. I didn’t like that part.
“Still, Adrian took us for lavish dinners and filled our bedroom with dozens of roses. And he continued the scary movie campaign, as if he needed to. Every night at his place in Whistler we had a movie marathon. I’m already head over heels in love with the man.”
“Aw, he totally loves you. He wants to spoil you.”
“I know. It’s adorable. But, I haven’t told him about my father yet. I know I should, so get that look off your face. But I can’t. I start to bring it up and then I freeze.”
“I didn’t get any look. Not like you think. I feel like this is something you should tell him just because it will eventually come out and you should control the how and when of it. But your father is not part of your life. He never was. Ronnie Pete was some dude your mother boned for a while and then he pushed off and did his own thing for another fifteen years until it all caught up to him. You don’t know him. You are only his daughter in the most minimal sense. Stop trying to own what he did as if you had any say.”
Gillian had known Jules would say what she needed to hear. This was the kind of connection the Browns and Copelands had. It was what kept Gillian going even on days when she was absolutely sure she wasn’t going to make it. And she couldn’t leave it behind even if she wanted to.
“I love you.”
“Right back atcha, sister. Now, tell me true, are you going to move to Seattle to be with him?”
That was the big question, now wasn’t it?
Gillian found herself on her hands and knees, hair covered by a bandana, scrubbing her kitchen floor because that’s what she did whenever she needed to think. That or ironing, and she didn’t want to face that today.
There were things she knew to be totally true. First, that Miles needed his father. If that hadn’t been apparent already, the way Miles and Adrian had bonded on the holiday trips they’d all taken would have made it so. They clicked. Adrian made Miles happy and it definitely went the other way too.
Adrian had to make some dad-type decisions while they were in Florida and then in Whistler. Enough to make himself the bad guy on more than one occasion. Miles had been startled, but afterward, he’d been even more at ease with his dad. As if he knew Adrian really was his father and would take care of him.
It had been a bittersweet realization for Gillian. She wanted them to be close, but it was hard to share the governance of Miles’s life with someone else.
And yet, sharing him, being a family the way they had, had lodged in her belly. Miles was still with his dad in Seattle, opting to spend one more night there. Adrian had wanted her there too, but she needed some time to think.
Things between them had gotten very serious.
Four months they’d had, and at least a month of that time she’d spent fighting with him and thinking he was a jerk. It was one thing to have this romance with him. But moving in meant a whole new level of commitment and intimacy. More than she’d ever had with anyone before.
The way she felt for Adrian wasn’t just a crush. It wasn’t just love. He was that puzzle piece she’d been missing. He was, to be blunt and all since she was scrubbing the floor and this was a discussion in her head, her mate.
That meant something. It meant something to that girl who never had much of anything or anyone until Gran had come into her life. Never understood that depth of love and devotion you could feel for another person until she’d held Miles. And even that wasn’t the same. Not the same as the way Adrian made her feel. Tough and ready for anything. Safe. Loved. Confident.
A tattooed, bad-boy rock star with a big, tight family and a heart to match. There’d never been a more unlikely man for her! But they made sense, despite all their spats and the way they fought and then fucked. They worked. They clicked. She
knew
she got him in ways most others didn’t. She also knew he did the same with her.
knew
she got him in ways most others didn’t. She also knew he did the same with her.
She didn’t doubt they could live together well, though there were still problems.
The biggest problem was that she didn’t want to move away from Bainbridge and the relationships and community she and Miles had built there.
She was sure that made her selfish. After all, Miles probably would flourish at a private school. But it had taken the boy a long time to make the friends he’d made and it wasn’t as easy as
starting a new band
as Adrian seemed to think.
starting a new band
as Adrian seemed to think.
She was a lot like Miles, she supposed, in that it took her a long time to totally feel comfortable in a place or with people. She had that here. Had a community.
But . . . she wanted to be with him. She wanted to live in a house with her son and his father. Location was something they could work on. So what was the real problem, damn it?
Fear. She loved Adrian so much it scared her.
She sat back, arse on the floor, resting her head against the cabinets. It took her
years
to love someone, and with Adrian it had happened so fast. One part of her was okay with that. Love was a certain kind of magic and she accepted it as such.
years
to love someone, and with Adrian it had happened so fast. One part of her was okay with that. Love was a certain kind of magic and she accepted it as such.
Miles had been instant love. The moment she held him against her chest she’d loved him so fiercely it had filled up everything.
And that had been enough. More than enough. She’d loved being a mother more than she could have ever imagined. She made mistakes with it, of course. But even if everything else in her life had been out of sequence, she and Miles had been in sync.
Adrian had changed
everything
in much the same way Miles had. And, she supposed, she loved him in much the very quick way she’d loved Miles. He felt like family.
everything
in much the same way Miles had. And, she supposed, she loved him in much the very quick way she’d loved Miles. He felt like family.
When she’d been growing up, her mother had thought she was doing a favor for Gillian by keeping her expectations low. A girl like her wasn’t pretty like Tina, so she could play piano and be a good enough wife and mum for some bloke who’d sit and watch footie every night down the pub with his buddies while she handled the home life.
Low expectations had been her main dish as a child. While she’d had Miles and had found an avenue for her passion with the piano, the ugly, unvarnished truth was that she’d never expected to have a love like she had with Adrian.
Fucking was hard enough. But letting someone into her soul? Past all her defenses into her very heart? The unvarnished truth was that he was there already. It wasn’t a matter of decisions on her part. It simply was true and at the end of the day, she accepted it. And it strengthened her. She also knew that.
She could see herself and Miles living in Adrian’s house. It was big and bright and had a gorgeous view. She could most definitely do her work there. She might even be able to expand to some new avenues around the area.
But the yard, while lovely, wasn’t the kind of yard a boy could really run around in. Not that Miles was much for sporting around in the back anyway.
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