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Authors: Victoria Christopher Murray

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BOOK: Never Say Never
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Okay, I think that's it. I hope I didn't forget anyone. If I did, you know it has nothing to do with my heart, but more to do with these things that happen to a woman of a certain age. Now, on to the next book . . .

T
OUCHSTONE
R
EADING
G
ROUP
G
UIDE
Never Say Never

After a devastating fire kills Miriam's firefighter husband, Chauncey, and leaves the surrounding community in shock, Miriam is not sure how she will ever be able to move on with her life. Left with three young sons, Miriam relies on her two best friends—Emily and Michellelee—and Emily's husband, Jamal, for support. But as she grieves, Miriam begins to develop a strong connection to Jamal. When the two spend more time together mourning the loss of Chauncey, they find themselves in the midst of a passionate affair born of their mutual sadness.
Never Say Never
tells the story of love, friendship, and betrayal, and ultimately asks, Can real love find a way to forgive?

For Discussion

1. 
Never Say Never
begins in Miriam's voice, framing the story that follows as an explanation for her affair with Jamal. She asks the reader,
“Would you or wouldn't you?”
Answer Miriam's question with your group members, weighing both Miriam's and Emily's sides.

2. Revisit the moment
when Miriam must tell her sons that their father is dead
. What role does Jamal play in this scene?

3. Emily says,
“I had to save Miriam from as much pain as I could. I had to make sure that she would get through, and know that every day, in every way, Jamal and I would be there for her.”
Discuss this quote, and try to decide whom you see as the victim in this story—Miriam or Emily?

4. Discuss
the role of race in the novel
. What is Miriam's initial reaction to Emily's interest in Jamal? What makes Miriam change her mind about the couple?

5. 
“I didn't know why I felt a bit annoyed when he mentioned Emily. I mean, she was the one who was my friend. It was because of her that Jamal was even here with me so much”.
Do you think that Miriam was out of line in wanting to spend so much time with Jamal? At one moment, did she cross the line from grieving widow to adulteress?

6. How would you characterize Jamal? Do you like him? Can you defend his action in any sense? How so?

7. How does the fire stand as a metaphor for all the problems presented in the novel? Consider the way fire moves quickly, is hot, and destroys everything in its path. If you had to name one character in the novel who is similar to the fire, who would it be? Why?

8. At the end of the novel, Pastor Ford hints to Emily that she could see the affair coming, that circumstances were ripe for Jamal to look for love and comfort outside of his marriage. Think back to the moment that Jamal, Emily, and Miriam were supposed to go out to lunch. If Emily had not had to go to the hospital to be with LaTonya, do you think the affair would have continued? Is it fair to blame Emily, in part, for the actions of Jamal and Miriam? Why or why not?

9. Many of the characters believe that if Miriam and Jamal had slept together only once, it would have been forgivable; repeated action was the real betrayal. Discuss with your group members. Can you come to a consensus on the ethics of this implication?

10. What role does faith play in the novel? Do you think that Jamal and Emily could have saved their marriage without Pastor Ford and faith?

11. In many ways, Michellelee is caught in the middle of the fight between her two best friends. She is the one who first discovered that Jamal and Miriam were sleeping together, and she is the one who forces reconciliation in the diner. She says to Miriam,
“I don't know how we're going to do it, but we'll find a way to be all right. We have to.”
Do you think Michellelee is the voice of reason in the novel? If you had been Michellelee, would you have told Emily about your suspicions? Do you think Michellelee made the right choice in staying out of the fight?

12. Is forgiveness for those you love—even if it is not deserved—a theme of the novel? If not, what would you name as the theme of the novel? Why?

13. Discuss the ending of
Never Say Never.
Do you think that Emily and Jamal are going to make it as a couple? Why or why not?

A Conversation with Victoria Christopher Murray

You have received countless awards for your novels. Many reviews praise you; in particular, the
Clarion-Ledger
in Jackson, Mississippi, called your “vividness of faith . . . inspirational.” What is your goal when writing?

I feel blessed that many see my writing as inspirational even though that's not my initial intent when I write. I know that, as a writer, I'm an entertainer, and that's what I set out to do first. But I always tell people that I am a Christian, and no matter what I do, my faith goes with me. I'm always glad when my faith “shows up” in my writing. If that can inspire someone, that's even better.

Who is your favorite character in
Never Say Never
and why? Do you relate to one of the women more than the others?

This book turned out to be one of my favorite books of all time because I haven't written too many non–African American characters. So writing Emily was a wonderful experience for me. I wanted to stay as true to her character as I could, and I had a lot of help with that from my editor. Emily is probably my favorite, but only by a little—because I find all of these characters just so interesting. I find Emily and Jamal's love amazing, and that was fun to write, because I can remember years ago when I was . . . “challenged” by interracial relationships. But then Miriam was wonderful to write because she was the victim . . . at first. And even I don't know when that changed. So . . . I know I didn't really answer the question. I loved them all.

Do you hope to break any stereotypes with this novel?

I'm not sure that I wanted to break stereotypes, but I did want to challenge us as women. I know many of my friends (and me!) for many years had issues when we saw black men with white women. (I'm just being honest!) And so in this book Emily is white, but she is the wife. As readers we usually cheer for the wife (except in the TV show
Scandal!
) I wanted to see if my readers would still cheer for Emily, or if the color of her skin made a difference. I cannot wait to get on the road and find out!

Why did you decide to tell this story from both Miriam's and Emily's points of view? In what ways does presenting both sides of the story change the course of the novel?

Telling both sides of the story is a no-brainer in this case. In this story, two sides had to be told. The story would have been incomplete with only Miriam's or Emily's voice.

At the end of
Never Say Never,
you mention this real-life phenomenon that occurred after 9/11 where many firefighters were leaving their wives for their best friends' widows. Can you talk more about these events, what surprising discoveries you may have made in your research, and why you felt called to write about this phenomenon?

I work out a lot of my issues through my writing. LOL! Seriously, when I read about something or hear about something, I wonder about it and then write about it so I can discover, What would I do? Everything I learned in the research of the fire departments' “dirty little secret,” you read in the novel. The greatest thing I
learned, however, was that before I wrote this book, I looked down on those husbands and widows who destroyed the wife's life. But after writing this book, all I can say is . . . never say never!

Do you agree that forgiveness, even when it is not deserved, is the theme of this novel? Why or why not?

First of all, I always think forgiveness is deserved. Because forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is for you—so the anguish won't grow on your heart. You deserve to have peace, and that's why forgiveness is always deserved. Now, is it the theme of this novel? Hmm . . . not sure about that. Before I started writing this novel, I had no idea where it was going to go. I was glad that Emily forgave Jamal . . . and Miriam. I was also glad that Emily realized she would never have the same relationship with Miriam. And Miriam realized that, too. Because you can forgive, but it's just a little more difficult to forget. . . .

As a writer, who are your influences? Where do you go to get inspired?

I'm inspired by the fact that I write full-time for a living, and I've developed wonderful relationships with food and shelter. I love eating and sleeping in a home, so I write because this is my job. I just happen to have a job that I love, that's my passion. I think I'm most influenced by pop culture, things that are going on in the world. I read a lot of books, watch a lot of movies; spend a lot of time studying people in airports, in parks, at the gym—wondering, What's their story? I can turn a man and a woman kissing at Starbucks into a four-hundred-page novel!

Do you think that Emily and Jamal's marriage will survive and that Miriam will learn to live without the two loves of her life? Can we rest assured that everyone in the novel will live as happily ever after as can be expected?

I'm not so sure I believe in happily ever after.
If
these were real people (and they're not, LOL!) I would hope that they would find happiness. Of course life is a road that is covered with speed bumps, but I think they will all find their way to where they're supposed to be.

Did writing this novel teach you any lessons? What lesson do you hope readers will take away from this story?

The greatest lesson
ever
 . . . “never say never” is no longer just a cliché for me. It's real!

What is your next project? Can we expect to hear any more about Emily, Michellelee, and Miriam in future novels?

I think, I hope, I pray that this is the end for Emily, Michellelee, and Miriam. My next project does bring back characters that many are familiar with. I'm working on a sequel to
The Ex Files
called
Forever an Ex
. I was inspired to do this because
The Ex Files
has been optioned to become a movie, and the producer was saying that they love those characters so much that if there was more to their story, they may be able to even do a series. So I'm just giving them what they want! :-)

Enhance Your Book Club

1. Throughout
Never Say Never,
Emily refers to her favorite movie to watch with Jamal:
Love Story
. Have a movie night with your reading group and rent this classic 1970 film. Discuss the ways in which the film mirrors Emily and Jamal's relationship. Why do you think the couple loved this movie so much?

2. After a tragedy, some people react in ways that are often bizarre and shocking, while other people manage stress and grief more traditionally, such as turning to faith and organized religion or spending more time with a loved one. Have a “share” night in which your group members share the ways in which they deal with grief in their own lives. Do you reach out to others, or do you keep to yourself? Do you express your emotions through writing, exercise, or art, or do you prefer to sleep through the pain? Decide which character you resemble most in the way you handle grief and stress. Are you like Miriam and Jamal, who need comfort; or more like Emily, who needed to bury herself in her job?

3. Many of Victoria Christopher Murray's books are entertaining and instructive, making them the perfect choice for a book club selection. Have your book club read
Destiny's Divas
;
The Deal, the Dance, and the Devil
; or
Too Little, Too Late
. Afterward, consider how these books are similar to
Never Say Never
. What common themes can be found woven into all of Victoria Christopher Murray's novels?

Turn the page for an excerpt of
Forever an Ex
by Victoria Christopher Murray

Coming in June 2014 from Touchstone Books

Chapter

One

W
hoever said that a kiss was just a kiss had never kissed Bobby Johnson.

He had kissed me again. Seven days ago. On Christmas. And, I'm telling you, I saw stars.

Now, maybe it wasn't that Bobby was all that great a kisser. Maybe it had more to do with him being the love of my life, at least until 2007 when he'd made the stupid mistake of breaking up with me and going back to his wife.

That Christmas kiss had stayed in my heart and on my mind. When I was awake, I thought about it and every time I closed my eyes, I dreamed about it.

Just like now.

My body was trying to wake up, but I was floating in unconsciousness. You know, that place where your eyes are wide shut—you're half awake, half asleep. I was holding on to the sleep part because I wanted to keep dreaming about that kiss.

My lips were right up against Bobby's and it was so deliciously good. So good that I started hearing bells—no, not bells, my ears were ringing.

But then . . . the ringing kept on and on and on, messing up my dream flow.

Dang! That was nothin' but my cell phone, and I was pissed. My dream was interrupted and now I was awake, too? Who would call somebody so early on New Year's Day? Not that I knew the exact time, but if I hadn't already eaten breakfast, then it was too early for somebody to be hitting me up.

My first thought was to just let my cell ring. But my eleven-year-old daughter, Angel, had spent the night with Monet, her best friend, so I had to answer . . . just in case.

So right before the call went to my voice mail, I grabbed my cell from the nightstand. Without even opening my eyes, I mumbled, “This had better be good.”

“What's up, Asia?”

My eyes popped right open.

“Happy New Year!”

I pushed myself up, tugging the sheet along to cover my nakedness. “Uh . . . good morning. Happy New Year to you, too, Bobby,” I said to my ex, my daughter's daddy, and the Adonis of my dreams.

“I guess I woke you up.”

“No.” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to look decent, though I didn't know why. It wasn't like we were FaceTiming or anything. “I'm glad you called.”

“Yeah, I remembered that little superstition you had about a man calling your house first on New Year's.”

He remembered that?

“So, I hope that I was the first.”

“You are. And now I'll be blessed for the whole year.”

He chuckled. “That's what I wish for you.”

Then, a moment of silence. I tried to think of something profound to say that would keep Bobby talking. But before I could come up with anything . . . a moan. And not just a regular moan . . . a loud, long, masculine moan that stretched through time and my bedroom . . . and went right through my cell phone, too.

Dang! I thought, looking down at the body stretched out in my bed.

“Oh,” Bobby said. “You have company. I should've known. Last night being New Year's Eve . . .”

“No, I don't,” I said as I kicked through the tangled sheets until I was free and away from Rocco. I had on not a stitch of clothing, but I didn't care. I jumped out of my bed and jogged straight into the hallway. “That was . . . just the TV,” I said. “Yeah, yeah, it was the TV. I had it on last night and must've fallen asleep.”

“I'd thought you would've been out partying the New Year in.”

“Well, uh . . .” I didn't want to keep all of this attention on my lie, so I said, “I'm really happy you called.” Now, that was the truth. Like I said, I hadn't stopped thinking about my ex since I'd spent Christmas Day at his house with his wife, and our daughter.

“Well, I don't want to keep you. Just wanted you to know how much I care for you and how I wish you nothing but God's best.”

I sighed and smiled and tingled all over.

He finished with, “And, I just wanted to wish you . . .”

“Happy New Year,” we said together, then chuckled together, too.

“Thanks again for being my first, I mean,
the
first . . .”

“I know what you mean.” Then, after a pause, he added, “Asia, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and in a few days I'd like to come over . . . and talk.”

I inhaled.

He said, “After what happened on Christmas . . . we really need to talk.”

“Okay.” My smile was so wide that my cheeks hurt. I'd been wondering how he felt about that, and now I knew. He was in the same place I was. That kiss had brought back all kinds of feelings, all kinds of memories, all kinds of wonder about why we'd ever broken up.

“I'll call you, okay?”

“Yeah.” What I really wanted to say was,
Come over now
, but I'd let him lead this dance.

He clicked off and I did the same. That three-minute call was like a shot of caffeine straight into my veins. What a way to begin 2014.

“Baby, what're you doing out here?”

Before I could even face him, Rocco was on top of me, kissing my neck with his morning breath. I used the heels of my hands to push him off.

“What's up?” he said, backing away, but only a little. “I want to start off the New Year right.”

“We did that last night.” As I marched back into my bedroom, I was mad that I'd run out without any clothes on. Because now Rocco was walking right behind my au naturel glory.

Most of the time I liked using my body to turn men on. In fact, if I had to tell the truth, that's how I made my living. My job was to maintain my size-four figure, be beautiful, and I got paid for keeping rich men company. I mean, not outright paid. It wasn't like we went out and they gave me money. But after a couple of dates, the gifts started flowing: diamonds, pearls, furs, shopping sprees at Neiman's, and vacations anywhere there was a beach and a Ritz-Carlton.

As far as Rocco was concerned, my job was done. I hoped Rocco wasn't turned on because I was so turned off. After hearing Bobby's voice, I didn't want Rocco anywhere near me. So when he wrapped his arms around my waist and pushed his full-blown nature against my butt, I wiggled away.

“What's up?” He held out his arms, beckoning me to come back. “Why you keep doing that?”

“You have to go,” I said, cutting straight to the chase.

He frowned like he no longer understood English. “Go where?”

Did he really want me to answer that? I mean, it wasn't like Rocco and I had anything going on. It was just that sometime around Labor Day, I realized I didn't have a guy for the holidays.

Not that there was any kind of shortage of men in my life. I was still on the circuit and still in circulation. Plenty of athletes had my number locked in their phones. It was just that the calls were fewer. After all, no matter how much I maintained, I
was
thirty-five, which was ancient in the pro basketball/football/baseball/track groupie arena.

Now, don't get it twisted—I wasn't a groupie. I was more of a trophy girlfriend, who was working on becoming the trophy wife. No matter what you called it, though, it was my only ticket out of my ratchet life in Compton all those years ago. I needed to marry a rich athlete.

Once I set my mind to it, I'd met Bobby Johnson, the star of the Los Angeles Lakers. He wasn't my first choice 'cause he was already married. But he'd wooed me so hard that I'd believed he'd leave his wife for me.

Clearly, I was wrong. 'Cause six years ago, Bobby decided that he was happy with the wife he had, and didn't want a new one.

“So, what're you saying, Asia? You really want me to go?” I turned around, almost forgetting that Rocco was still here. And I watched the new center for the Lakers pimp-strut toward me.

Now I had the chance to take in all of
his
naked glory, and boy, was this dude fine. Forget about being ripped in the right places, Rocco was ripped in every place. Everywhere there was a muscle, it was defined. And then, that face. He was Christopher Williams (that old R&B singer from back in the day) dipped in deep, dark chocolate.

When Rocco wrapped his arms around me, I was tempted to jump right back in bed and let this twenty-four-year-old show me what he could do. But the moment our lips touched, Bobby's lips came to mind, and again, I pushed Rocco back. “You know I would love to.”

He gave me a goofy grin that said,
Of course you would, who wouldn't?

I started to burst his oversize ego bubble, but instead I said, “But you have to go. Angel will be home soon.”

Everything on that man deflated when I mentioned my daughter's name. “Oh,” he said.

All the guys knew that I didn't date in front of my child. This wasn't the example I wanted to set for her, and not the life I wanted her to have. But I wasn't going to be one of those do-as-I-say mothers. Angel never saw me with all these men.

Plus these days I never let grown men around my daughter. No way, too many perverts out there and my eleven-year-old daughter, with her sixteen-year-old body, and a face that her agent at Ford Models called the young face of the new millennium, didn't need to be around testosterone. I did everything to protect Angel Valentine Johnson, the true love of my life.

“I thought you told me that your daughter wasn't coming home till later,” Rocco said, squinting as if he was studying me to see if I was lying.

I tilted my head. “Is that what you thought? Hmm . . .” I turned around so that my back was to him. “Nope. She's coming home about”—I glanced at the clock: 7:48—“about eight. Oh, my God!” I exclaimed as if I was just noticing the time. “You've got to go. She'll be here at any moment.”

“Dang!” he said, dashing to gather his clothes that he'd tossed around my bedroom. “Why she coming home so early?”

“Because . . . it's New Year's . . . and . . . we always have breakfast together on New Year's.”

There was a part of me that was proud that I could come up with a good lie on the fly. But really, was that a character trait or a character flaw?

When Rocco started walking toward the bathroom, I said, “Where're you going? You've got to get outta here.”

“I don't even have time to take a shower?”

I shook my head.

“Well, do I have time to take a leak? A guy's gotta take a leak first thing in the morning.”

Those words made my eyes roam down his body. Damn! Maybe I could tell him that I made a mistake. That Angel wouldn't be home till nine, or ten. Or I could tell him the truth . . . that she wouldn't be home till sometime tonight.

But then . . . Bobby. I'd feel like I was cheating.

So, I let Rocco take his leak, then dress as slowly as any man ever did.

“Okay.” Rocco slipped his suit jacket over shoulders that looked like he should've been playing football instead of basketball. “So,” he said, straightening out his collar, “I'm gonna see you tonight?”

“We'll see.” I led him down the stairs and at the door gave him one of those long, slow tongue kisses so that he wouldn't forget me. But as soon as he said, “Bye, call me,” and stepped out of that door, I closed it and forgot him.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I dashed back up to my bedroom, grabbed my cell, and clicked on my best friend's name. Noon's phone rang and rang, and when her voice mail picked up, I hung up and called back. I didn't know where she was, and I didn't care whose bed she was in; I needed to talk to her.

It took four callbacks before she answered with a growl, “This had better be good.”

I laughed. Hadn't I just said the same thing? We were like sisters, with a bond thicker than blood.

“This is better than good,” I said.

Noon moaned.

“Wake up, I have to talk to you,” I whined.

“Call me later. I'm sleep.”

“Well, wake up.”

“I can't.”

“If you hang up, you know I'm gonna call you back.”

“Ugh!” she growled again. “Hold on a second.”

When she said that, that meant she was with her current man, Brett, and was getting out of bed to talk to me privately.

“Okay, what's up?” Noon asked with an attitude.

That was okay; she'd be all right after I told her this.

“Well, first, Happy New Year!” I said with glee.

There was a pause, and then, “Chiquita, if that's why you called me, I swear . . .”

I didn't even hear the rest of her sentence. Did my girl just call me by the cray-cray birth name my mama had given me? My mother, who abandoned me when I was two and left me to be raised by my grandmother, had named me after a banana. I was still pissed about it, but at least I was smart enough to have changed my name legally.

I wanted to insult Noon back, call her by her birth name. But her birth name
was
Noon . . . Noon Thursday Jones, given to her by her mama who was as cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs as mine.

So since I couldn't insult her, I got right to the point. “I'm getting back with Bobby.”

“Bobby who?”

“See, you wanna play. Really, I'm getting back with Bobby.”

A beat, and then, “For real?”

If Noon had been sitting in the room with me, her eyes would be all wide, and she'd be on the edge of the chair. 'Cause if there was one thing that Noon knew, it was that I wasn't overly dramatic. I accepted whatever situation came my way.

Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. But for the most part, once I did all that I could and saw that I couldn't change a situation, I accepted it.

“So, when did this happen?” Noon said, all awake now.

“Can you meet me?”

“When?”

“Now. Are you with Brett?”

“Yeah, but I can hook up with you for a few hours. Where we gonna go so early on New Year's Day?”

That was a good question, but then I said, “The mall. The malls are open, so meet me at the Beverly Center. Starbucks. In the food court.”

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