No Regrets (Live Today #2) (22 page)

Fan-fucking-tastic!

~~~

Ashley and I slide back into the booth quietly. Jenna and Brennan are in a heated argument over their game of darts. She glances in our direction and her face lights up so brightly, my heart yearns for her even more. Her contagious smile shoots straight through my soul and I can’t help but to smile back and add a wink in the process. She immediately bites her bottom lip. God I fucking love that woman. Suddenly the D.J. begins to speak.

“Alright boys and girls, it’s that time of the evening when we open the mic and let the voices loose. Let’s see who the first on the list is shall we?” The group make it back to the table and immediately, Jenna takes my hand in hers.

“Are you okay?” Her voice is full of worry. I look down into her glossed over eyes. How can I break her heart?

“I’m good. We need to talk later, okay?” I try hide the fear in my smile, but she can read through me immediately. She doesn’t push the subject, but loosens her grip on my hand turns her attention to the guys.
Nice fucking move G.

Matt calls for a round of shots and we all raise our glasses before taking them down. The D.J. calls on Jenna for her song. She’s done a fine job giving me the cold treatment, which I deserve one hundred percent for shutting her out like that. She stands and makes her way to the stage. Her head hangs down and once the song begins she raises her head and looks straight into my eyes. “Say Something” from A Great Big World is the song she chose to sing.

“And I, am feeling so small

It was over my head, I know nothing at all.

And I, will stumble and fall.

I’m still learning to love, just starting to crawl.

Say something I’m giving up on you.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you…”

Her voice begins to break after that verse, but her eyes remain looking deep into my soul. I stand and make my way to the stage. I can’t stand to be away from her like this. I cut her off before the verse “I’m saying goodbye” comes out of her voice. The crowd applauds her even though I never let her finish the song. I scoop her into my arms and carry her outside. The bar Matt chose faces the popular part of the shoreline where tourists hang out. At this hour, it’s relatively quiet.

“Where are we going?” She’s crying at this point. “Gabe stop please.” She cries. I know she’s not talking about my movement, rather than my actions. I hold her in my arms until they feel like I can’t take any more. I set her down on her feet but keep her in my arms. “I can take practically anything, but this silence, Gabe. I can’t take…”

I press my lips to her, stopping her little speech. She wraps her arms around my neck. I rest my forehead on hers. “I have to leave.” I whisper. I feel like someone has reached in and pulled my heart out. She takes my face in her hands and with her thumbs, she wipes the tears that brim my eyes. I’m here to break her heart and here she is, comforting me.

With the calmest voice possible she asks. “Does this have something to do with the phone call from your mom?” I nod. “And Ashley’s in on it?” I nod again, holding her tight. “Are they okay?” I shrug. “Gabe, you’re not giving me anything to work with here. You know you can tell me anything. I am here no matter what is you have to tell me. But for the love of God. Don’t push me away.”

Staring into her eyes, the reflection between the moon above and the lights from the city glow. “Dad broke his leg. But that’s not why I have to leave.” I take her hands in mine. “Want to sit?” She shakes her head.

“Whatever it is Gabe. Just tell me.”

“Little Gabe was taken by his biological father. Without Carmen’s permission.”

“And?” I can tell she’s holding her breath, waiting for the worst part.

“Oh God this is hard.” She squeezes my hand in support. “I’m legally his father still. I am on his birth certificate. Dad’s in no position to go with her to get him. Plus he has no legal hold on him.”

“So, you’re telling me that you’re going with
her
?” Her voice spits venom and she didn’t even mention Carmen. I knew it was going to happen. “She knew you were with me, but she still tried to get you back, right under my nose.” Her hands begin to shake.

“Jenna, what do you want me to do?” I pull her into my arms. “He kidnapped Gabriel. He’s just a kid. A kid that thinks the world of me from what I’m told. Baby, I have no intentions of being with Carmen. I cringe at the thought of sitting in a plane for a few hours let alone looking at her. But he needs us, more now than ever.” My voice rattles. She nods in my arms.

“I understand.”

“Baby, you believe me don’t you? I love you more than my life itself. The thought of being away from you for more than a minute makes my stomach turn.” She wraps her arms around my waist and tucks her head in my arms and cries. “Jenna, God, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.” She holds me tighter.

“Don’t say anything.” I kiss the top of her head.

“Do you need me to go with you? When do you leave? Tonight? Gabe, I don’t think I can do this.”

“Shhh…” I take her face in my hands and press my lips onto hers again. “Don’t you ever say you can’t do this, because you can. You are the strongest person I know. I want you to stay here with your brother. Its bad enough I have to go with that woman. But this guy, Jenna... He’s dangerous. I don’t want you anywhere near him.”

“Great. Now I have more to worry about.” She rolls her eyes. “How long are you going to be gone?”

“Only as long as it takes to go get him and bring him back home. Danny’s taken him back to Texas. I was thinking if I’m still there when you guys drive through, I can catch up with you there. I’ll do anything to be with you again.”

“Why does this have to be so hard?” She cries. “I know you have to do what’s best. I get it. I for one know what it’s like to lose your parents. But to be taken from them” She shakes her head. “You made the right choice, Gabe.”

“Really? You think I did? Because I have been killing myself over this all night.” She places her hands on mine.

“It would have been easier if you would have told me to begin with. Then this all wouldn’t have to have been so difficult. Do you remember what we spoke about earlier?” I nod and she smiles. “You said that if heaven forbid if we are apart. That you will remind me every minute of every hour how much you love me and can’t wait to be with me again.”

Chuckling at her. “I said all that?”

“Mhmm. Just not in so many words.” She smiles up at me. “I love you Gabe. With all that I have in me. It will be hard as hell to be apart from you again. We’re going to be okay. I trust you. Her, I’m not too sure about. But I trust you wholeheartedly. But you didn’t answer my question. When do you leave?”

I reach down into my pocket and pull out my phone. We both look at the screen. “Looks like it takes off at eleven fifty two tomorrow.” Placing it back into my pocket. “Stay with me tonight?”

“I’m with you every night, silly.” She plays, running her fingers over my face as if she’s memorizing my features.

“No. Right here, Angel. Stay with me. I want to watch the sun rise with you. Not at the house where someone can interrupt us. But right here, in the middle of nowhere. I want to watch your beautiful face under the stars. I want to spend every second of every minute with you in my arms until I have to get on that plane. Please Jenna?”

Her smile is soft and her features are lovely. She looks at me like a woman in love. “Okay.”

~~~

Jenna

Gabe has made the last twelve hours the most memorable hours of my life. Never once did he leave my side. We walked hand in hand further away from the city lights where we found a quant spot where it was just the two of us. He sent my brother a text telling him where to pick us up this morning and that we were going to be spending some time alone. Brennan wasn’t too keen on the idea, but apparently, after a conversation with Ashley, he understood.

We now sit in a row at the airport waiting until we were pushing our luck before he had to go past the checkpoint. I’m curled up on his lap and he holds me tightly, stamping my face with kisses every few seconds. All I can do is remember how beautiful last night was. Nothing separated us from nature. We laid on the beach and made sweet, sweet love throughout the night. Refusing to sleep, we talked and reminisced about the past. So many times we fought ourselves with admitting the truth about our feelings when we both knew that eventually this is where we would be.

He held me in his arms while we watched the sun kiss the sky with the new morning. The waves never faltered bringing in new markings in the sand. He drew a huge heart with “Gabe loves Jenna” in the middle and took a picture. Then we laid inside that heart and made love one more time before getting dressed and meeting Drew where he told someone to meet us.

Gabe sat in the back seat on our way back to the house with me and never once let me out of his sight. We showered together and made love once more. I packed his things and added a few pieces of lingerie sprayed with his favorite perfume of mine on it to remind him of what will be waiting for him when he returns, my heart.

The guys agreed that they wanted to see him off. We both didn’t mind it since being apart from them as well as me will be a big adjustment for him. As a band, we don’t know how it is to split up. Usually when one of us go somewhere, the rest follow. When I went to rehab was the exception, but even so, Gabe came every day. Matt and Drew offered to go with him to Kansas to help him out, but Gabe declined. He wanted Drew to be by my side in case I needed support and didn’t want Matt to be away from Willow any longer than he had. Gabe has such a big heart for everyone else, I think he forgets about his own.

“I can still buy a ticket if you change your mind.” Matt says. “Wilz will most likely fly back to Cali with Dani and my parents anyways.” We turn to look at Willow and she shakes her head.

“He thinks traveling with Dani will be too difficult. I told his parents that they could take her back with them and I would stay with you guys. But Matt’s difficult.”

Gabe chuckles, kissing me once again. “It’s okay man. Stay with your woman. Make her happy and don’t let her go.” He holds me tighter in his arms.

“You sure Dad is okay running the field?” Ashley asks with concern with her voice. I am one hundred percent positive, she was really asking if he would be okay traveling with that two headed monster poor little Gabriel calls a mother.

“He hired some kids to help out until he’s back on his feet.” Another kiss lands on my cheek. “Look guys, I know you all want to be there for me. But what I want most is for you to be here for Jenna. Okay? I want you to keep her so busy, she doesn’t realize I’m away.”

“That’s not going to happen. Not in a million years.” I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. “I miss you already.” The speaker announces that his flight is on time and they will begin boarding shortly. I take a deep breath and try not to cry.

He squeezes me tightly and stands with me in his arms. Turning to set me down, he hugs the guys before returning back to me. “Guys, I’m going to take her away for a minute.” He says before nodding at Drew and Brennan. They nod in return and I suddenly wonder what’s going on. He slings his backpack over his shoulder before offering his hand to me. “Come with me Angel?”

I try to swallow the huge knot in my throat and take his hand. He drapes his arm over my shoulder and I rest my head on his chest and slowly, very slowly, we begin shuffling our feet to the checkpoint. Once we find ourselves a few feet away from the entrance he pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. I refuse to look at him in the eye because I know that when I see those brown eyes I have memorized so well, I will crumble. His cleansing breath fills my nostrils and I try not to choke up.

“Jenna.” He rests his forehead on mine. I close my eye tightly and shake my head.

“No.”

“Angel. Look at me.” I squeeze them shut.

“No.” I cry. “I can’t. Let me go with you Gabe. I promise it will be okay.”

His thumb and forefinger rest on my chin forcing it to face his. “Jenna, open your eyes. Look at me.” I open my eyes and when I see the redness in his, my chest breaks into a million pieces. “Baby, don’t cry.” He begs. “Please don’t cry. I love you.”

Nodding, “I love you too.”

“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. You know that?” I nod again. I suddenly can’t find my voice to speak. I grab onto his shirt and hold onto it tightly. “I will call you when I land. I will call you before taking off again. I promise.” I just keep eye contact with him and try not to sob. “Last night was amazing. Especially when you do that thing with your…”

I kiss him to stop him. “Don’t go.” The speaker announces his flight at the same time.

“Baby, I have to go.” He takes my hands and releases my death grip on his shirt. “Promise me you’ll be good.” I nod. “No. I want to hear it.”

“I promise.”

“That’s my girl.” Bringing his hands to my face, he kisses me passionately. “I love you, my angel.” He kisses my forehead then looks past me and nods. Suddenly Brennan and Drew are at my side. “Take care of her for me.”

“Always man.” Brennan promises pulling me into his arms. “Shhh sis. I’ve got you.” He hugs me tightly. “Take care of yourself G.” He shakes Gabe’s hand once more. Gabe wipes the tears from his face and leans in and kisses my cheek again before turning and walking away. We stand in the same spot until I can’t see him any longer and my world shatters.