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Authors: Jill Shalvis

Nobody But You (7 page)

BOOK: Nobody But You
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“How did it go?” she asked, looking like she already knew the answer.

“Not well,” he admitted.
And how did you expect it to go, genius? You didn't even call him. You just happened upon him at the hospital
.

It'd been cold. And wrong. “So actually, no, I haven't learned from my mistakes, but that's going to change.”

“How?” she asked.

“You know, you're a little…”

“Pushy?” she asked. “Annoying?”

“Different,” he corrected. “In a good way.” A very good way…He paused. “You said you can't do love, not ever again. But for me, it's not that I can't. It's that I won't.” He thought of how it felt to walk away from his family. Like he'd ripped off a limb. And losing Brett had nearly killed him. He shuddered. “Love isn't for me, never will be.”

She took that in, looked like maybe she'd argue the fact, but then changed her mind. “So are you going to go away again?”

“I'm on leave,” he said. “I still have to go back to finish. I don't have a choice there.”

“And then what? After you finish? And truth,” she said with a small smile. “Or
you'll
owe
me
.”

He wouldn't mind that one little bit, but he surprised himself by answering honestly. “I'll be back. To stay.” He met her gaze. “Now you. Why do you stay here, in a town where you were so badly hurt? What holds you here?”

She hedged, biting her lower lip, tipping him off to yet another truth.

She hadn't told him her entire story.

Somehow she'd pulled off what no one else could, getting him to let down his guard and open up. A little terrifying. “Where's your family?”

“Dallas.”

He smiled. “I knew I heard the South in you.”

“You do not,” she said with a definite twang.

He smiled. “It comes out when you're especially irritated.”

“It does not,” she said, twang heavier now.

He laughed, and she crossed her arms. “There's nothing wrong with that,” she said.

“Of course not. And the accent's hot.”

She looked torn between being embarrassed and pleased.

“Tell me about your family,” he said.

She reached for the bottle. He obliged.

She tossed back another gulp and then proceeded to nearly cough up another lung.

“You all right?” he asked.

“Never better.” She let out a long exhale. “Okay, let's see. My mom and dad live in a house they got from my grandparents, who also grew up in Dallas. My sister lives close by with her husband and two kids. She's a nurse and has the perfect life. My mom's a saint who takes care of my dad.”

“He sick?”

“Depressed,” she said, surprising him. Her voice had changed to practically a whisper, like it was hard to say. Hard and painful, and he wanted to pull her in close and hold her. Not because he wanted to bury himself inside her—which, for the record, he did—but because he felt compelled to ease her pain.

“It's debilitating,” she said, “and he can't take care of himself.”

She'd already told him she'd been unable to please the guy, and he ached for the little girl she'd been, for the young woman who'd been further hurt by the next man in her life because her husband hadn't given her himself either. If she were his, Jacob thought, he'd make damn sure she felt loved. But she wasn't his. And given that he'd told her he didn't do love, she never would be.

And she told you she couldn't love
. But he didn't want to believe that, didn't want to think of her so beautiful, so animated, thinking she was incapable of love.

“My dad worked for NASA as a physicist,” she said. “He was under a lot of stress. Something cracked deep inside him at all the pressure, and now he does…well, nothing, really.” She shrugged again. “I think that's why I stay on the boat for now. I've learned that when you don't know what to do, you do nothing. Otherwise you get yourself in bigger trouble. The boat…me living on it…it's me not doing anything until I know exactly what to do.”

He wanted to argue, wanted to tell her she deserved more, but who the hell was he to judge? “It'll come to you,” he said.

“Yeah. I know.” She chewed on her bottom lip, belying her confidence, making him ache for her because she didn't know if it would come to her.

“It's no biggie,” she said with false cheer. “I'm like a rubber ball. I always bounce back. It's a hard-earned talent.” She stood up. “Look, it's late. Game's over, and we're both big losers.”

“No, we're not.”

Slowly she turned to him, her eyes lit with challenge as she silently dared him. “No?”

He rose to his feet. “No.”

She tap-danced in place, looking torn between running for the hills and dying of curiosity, and Christ, she drew him in like no other.

“Are you talking about…the kiss?” she whispered.

“You know I am.” He took one of her hands and slowly reeled her in, keeping his hold on her light, making it clear that she was the one in control here.

But she shocked the hell out of him by not resisting in the slightest, in fact using her momentum to tumble into him. Balancing herself with her hands on his arms, she went up on tiptoes, her entire weight braced on his chest like she trusted him to keep her from falling.

The realization stunned him.

“Problem,” she whispered.

Yeah, there was a problem. Hell, there was a big problem. She felt way too good against him. He was already hard and had been since they'd first said
kiss.
And then there was the sobering fact that she was a mess, and so was he…

She didn't take her eyes from his. They were so close, they were sharing air.

“The problem?” he reminded her.

“Right.” She cleared her throat. “Technically it's more than one kiss owed. I owe you one and you owe me one, so that's…”

“Two,” he said, tightening his grip on her. “Two kisses.”

“Yes.” She took a step back and came up against the captain's chair.

Worked for him.

Still holding her hand, he planted his other palm against the chair at her hip, pinning her in place. Then he lowered his head and brushed her mouth with his once. And then again. And as he pulled free, she followed with a soft whimper for more.

With a surge of sheer, unadulterated lust, he captured her mouth again, swallowing her soft moan, taking his time now, letting himself sink into the first real pleasure he'd felt in…too damn long. The feel of her hands on his chest egged him on as she slowly fisted her fingers in his shirt, a low whimper coming from deep in her throat. She tasted like the Scotch, warm woman, and the very best kind of trouble.

Ending the kiss, he stared at her. She was breathless, her eyes revealing what he knew was in his as well—equal parts lust and shock.

“Uh-oh,” she whispered.

Yeah. No shit.

“Jacob?” She licked her lips. “Remember how you said you weren't going do love, not ever again?”

“Yeah.”

“I'm going to need you to promise me.”

He would have sworn nothing could surprise him, but this woman continually did. “What?”

“I just need to make sure,” she said. “Because if you promise me, then I know I can't hurt you. And I don't want to hurt you.”

There was an endearingly earnest—almost desperately so—look in her eyes that made his chest feel too tight.

“Sophie.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “You don't need to worry about me.”

“No, you have to
promise
,” she said with a level of urgency that had him cuddling her to him and giving her what she wanted.

“I promise,” he said.

“You promise not to fall for me,” she said seriously. “No matter how lovable I am?”

He wanted to smile at that but didn't want her to think he was making fun. She wanted his word, and he could give it easily enough, confident that as adorably sexy as she was, he could refrain from falling for her, since his heart felt dead in his chest. “I promise.”

J
acob's words relieved Sophie so much that she nearly collapsed. There was freedom in knowing that this thing between them couldn't go anywhere.

Except hopefully to bed.

He was on leave, and his time here wasn't his own. He was working lake patrol shifts and he was here to make things right with his family. He was too busy for a relationship, other than a sexual one.

It'd been a long time since she'd felt like a sensual creature of any kind, but need and hunger were rolling through her now, nudging at her good spots. And actually, it was more than nudging. It was washing over her in waves. Need. Hunger.
Desire
.

And best yet, she saw the way Jacob's eyes had darkened, the way the same need and hunger she felt had tightened his body.

Still not speaking, he caressed the hair falling over her temple, drawing his finger slowly along her jaw to the corner of her mouth. He paused and then once again leaned in.

She didn't hesitate to press in to him, or to moan when he kissed her again. He kept things gentle, his hands warm at her back, his lips caressing hers.

But she didn't want gentle. Little shocks of need were racing through her, and she leaned in to him, finding his hard body in complete opposition to the softness of his touch. She could feel how restrained he held himself and wanted to rip at that tight control, unleash the power he was so clearly working hard at keeping reined in. “Jacob.”

“Yeah?”

She bit down on his lower lip and then slid her mouth slowly across his.

He pulled his mouth away a fraction and stared into her eyes. She stared back, seeing the reflection of her own heavy-lidded expression. His eyes darkened, flamed, telling her he could read her like a book, which made her stomach clench with excitement. “You in a hurry?” he asked, voice low and sexy as hell.

“Yes!”

He flashed a smile and then kissed her again, this time deeply, hungrily. The night, the moon, the stars, everything spun around her in a delicious whirl.

It was the alcohol, she told herself, but she knew that wasn't it.

It was Jacob, and right then and there her entire belief that this kind of chemistry didn't exist went up in smoke—just poof, gone.

And she was okay with it because, holy cow, this crazy heat had a lot going for it. As long as they were doing this, she could let herself go just a little bit. Because lust was okay. She could handle lust.
Was
handling it just fine, as both of her hands were full of Jacob. She wanted to touch everywhere: his broad shoulders, the biceps that were hard as rocks, his chest so warm and solid and pressed to hers. God. God, she couldn't get enough, and she was thinking of ripping her clothes off when he used the hand he'd entwined in her hair to pull free of her.

“What?” she gasped.

He stared into her eyes. “Just making sure we don't take this further than you bargained for.”

A sexy, alpha gentleman. She'd never wanted anyone like she wanted him. Slowly she shook her head.

“No, it's not more than you bargained for?” he asked. “Or no, you want to stop?”

“If you stop, I'll cry.”

He looked at her for a beat and then easily lifted her up and deposited her on the instrument panel, which put them face-to-face.

And body-to-body.

Mmm, yes. She spread her legs and he stepped between them. She wanted him to shove her dress up to her waist and admire the last pair of pretty undies she had before laundry day tomorrow. She wanted him to dip his fingers beneath the lace and remind her of all she'd been missing since she'd stopped loving Lucas, since she'd shoved her feminine, sexual side deep down and refused to let it out.

But he didn't. Instead, he slowed the kiss, gently turned down the power of his sexuality and brought her slowly back with him, calming her—not easy since she could hear herself breathing like she'd just run the entire length of the mall to get to the opening of a Macy's shoe sale. Her entire body yearned and burned and ached.

But though he was still touching her, it was the kind of hold that wasn't going anywhere, and suddenly she felt…exposed. She shoved him, and he immediately took a step away, looked into her eyes.

The bastard even had the nerve to smile. “Yeah, you're back.”

She crossed her arms.

His mouth quirked as he turned and started to walk away.

She stared after him, still breathing heavily, still aroused beyond belief.
“Hey!”

He turned away, hands in his pockets, the night breeze plastering his shirt to his torso like a second skin.

“I suppose you think it's funny, leaving me in this state?” she said.

His mouth curved, but his eyes were serious. “You think you're the only one feeling it?”

This had her pausing. “I don't know. What state are you in?”

“State Wrecked,” came his quiet answer, and then he was gone.

She was still standing there contemplating what had just happened when her cell buzzed an incoming call. Seeing it was her sister, Brooklyn, she blew out a breath and answered as casually as she could, considering she was in, as Jacob had so helpfully noted, State Wrecked. “You okay?”

“I don't just call you when I need you,” her sister said.

“Okay, I'll rephrase,” Sophie said. “Hi. I've already heard from you this week and I know how busy you've been, so I'm guessing something's come up.”

Her sister laughed. “You could say so. Listen, I have this idea for you. It's a little crazy, so I don't want you to say no until you've heard me out.”

“Uh-oh,” Sophie said. The last time her sister had come up with an idea, it'd been for Sophie to go out with some gorgeous, rich dude named Lucas…

“Okay,” Brooklyn said. “Remember Jimbo?”

“The guy who graduated in your class who was arrested for being a pimp the week before you got your diplomas?” Sophie asked. “Yeah, I remember. He was my middle school current event that week.”

“Yes, but technically he wasn't a pimp,” Brooklyn said. “He was just keeping a few of his friends…organized. Business-wise.”

Sophie laughed. “You should've been his publicist. Let me guess, you ran into him.”

“Facebook. He's in Vegas now, running a legit business, making big bucks. And he's got a job opening for you. One you can do from home.”

“I can hardly wait to hear this,” Sophie said.

“It's easy. You can do it from the comfort of your own home—er, boat—and you would make big bucks per call.”

Sophie blinked. “Phone sex?”

“Well, it's not like it's real sex,” Brooklyn said.

“No.”

“You didn't even think about it,” Brooklyn said.

“Yes, I did. I gave it great consideration. It's a terrible idea. And it's not just phone sex anymore. It's also video sex. They live stream themselves.”

“Do I even want to know how you know this?” Brooklyn asked. “And anyway, you don't have to do the live streaming part. And did you not hear the big bucks part? Look, it's mostly late-at-night work. All you've got to do is sigh and pant a little bit, mention a few body parts and do it in a breathy Marilyn Monroe voice, and you're golden.”

This time Sophie paused. “No,” she said less convincingly.


Big bucks
, Soph.”

She sighed. “Okay, maybe I'll think about it.”

“You're welcome.”

“I'm not thanking you yet,” Sophie said. “And for God's sake, don't tell Mom and Dad.”

“Duh.”

  

Body still humming with the need for something he wasn't going to get tonight, Jacob left Sophie's boat and strode toward the cabin.

He could taste her. Feel her. And it hadn't been enough.

He'd had to forcibly remind himself he wasn't here for this. For her. He had a limited amount of time before he had to go back to his duty, and he needed to get on with what he'd come to do. In light of that, he pulled out his phone and stared at his list of contacts.

At one contact in particular.

Hud.

He hit the number before giving himself a chance to change his mind.

Hud answered on the first ring, sounding a little breathless. “Jacob?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Jacob scrubbed a hand down his face. “Uh, you busy?”

“I'm at the Slippery Slope. You remember it?”

“Yeah,” Jacob said. “I—”

But Hud had disconnected. Okay, then. He walked. It wasn't far, maybe two miles. When he opened the door to the bar and grill, he was hit by the scent of fried food and the sounds of loud country music and a boisterous, happy crowd.

He was also hit with his past and present as they collided inside his chest.

Across the room, Aidan and Gray were bent over a pool table, in the midst of what looked like a vicious game. Kenna was on the other side of the table, darts in her hand, staring intently at the dartboard. Next to her was a man Jacob didn't recognize.

Hud stood at the bar, pushing forward money for a pitcher of beer. As if he could feel Jacob's presence, he quickly turned, and his eyes went straight to his twin.

Jacob took a deep breath and started toward him. He'd never in his life felt more out of his comfort zone, and he wasn't good at that. It made him itchy, as itchy as if he'd headed into combat without being loaded up with weapons.

At the pool table, Aidan hit a shot that had him shoving his fist in the air and pumping it in triumph. Gray snagged Aidan, hooking his arm around Aidan's neck and giving him what looked like a painful noogie.

Aidan pushed free, put his hand on Gray's face, and shoved.

Gray fell back, the two of them laughing.

A beautiful blonde came up behind Gray and slipped her arms around him. Turning in her arms, Gray nuzzled her in close while Jacob did a double take. It was Penny. She'd gone to school with them and Gray had always had a huge crush on her. She was wearing a big, fat diamond.

Seemed Gray had gotten his wildest dream to come true.

Nope, Jacob thought, standing still, he wasn't any good at this. He'd manned up to come home and he had a lot more manning up to do, but at the moment all he could think was that he was an outsider.

Your own fault
…

Hud left the pitcher at the bar and started toward him. Jacob took a deep breath and did the same. When they were each halfway to the other, Hud cocked his head, gesturing to the back. There, another room held more dartboards and pool tables.

They met at an open dartboard. Once upon a time, darts had been their game. Neither could lose, and with the help of fake ID's, they'd used the skill to their benefit.

Jacob met Hud's gaze. “We playing?”

Hud shrugged and casually picked up a set of darts.

Oh, yeah. They were playing. Jacob did the same and gestured for Hud to go first.

“Five-oh-one?” Hud asked.

“That's a pussy game,” Aidan said. He and the others had come up behind them. Everyone but Kenna and the guy she was with.

Penny jabbed an elbow into Aidan's stomach, hard by the choking cough Aidan let out. “Excuse me?” she said. “
Pussy
game?”

Aidan grimaced. “You know what I mean.”

“No,” she said. “I don't. Maybe we should call it a dickhead game.”

“Kincaids play crickets,” Gray said over the ensuing battle. He stepped past Penny and Aidan, right up close to Hud and Jacob.

Jacob assumed his oldest half brother was going to reach for some darts, but instead he came toe-to-toe with him, eyes swirling with emotion.

“You're home,” Gray said, voice a little thick.

Jacob managed a nod.

“Hud told us,” Gray said. “But I needed to see you with my own eyes. You staying?”

“I'm on leave,” Jacob said. “I have to finish my stint.”

“So this is what, a onetime thing, then?” Gray asked.

Jacob heard someone suck in a breath. Penny, he thought, because not one of the four of them—the brothers—appeared to be breathing.

Up until Brett died, he'd never allowed himself to imagine coming home and staying. But from the moment he'd set foot on this mountain, he'd wanted nothing else. He shook his head. “Not just a onetime thing.”

Hud's shoulders fell from his ears, and when that happened, Aidan and Gray relaxed as well.

Not Jacob. He felt like he'd been strung up on tenterhooks and left hanging.

But then Gray stepped up to him, wrapped his arms around him, and lifted him in a huge bear hug, feet hanging off the floor.

The air left Jacob's lungs forcibly with an “oomph” and he caught a flash of Hud's grin.

“Jesus,” Gray said, dropping Jacob. “What the hell did they feed you over there? You're as big as a mountain.”

“That's what I asked,” Hud said, casually reaching out and giving Jacob a shove that had him bumping into Aidan.

Aidan was solid enough to keep them both upright as he made a show of looking Jacob over. “I don't know, man,” he said to Gray. “Still looks a bit scrawny to me.”

“I'll fatten him up!” Penny cried gleefully, jumping up and down. “With my fabulous homemade double-fudge brownies!” Shoving her way through the four big men, she stood in front of Jacob, her hands on her hips. “Hi,” she said. “Remember me?”

“You were my hottie English tutor,” Jacob said. “And Gray used to try to get me to ask you if you liked him. He'd bribe me with whatever cash he had, and I'd promise to do it. Instead, I pocketed the money and told you he was an idiot and that you shouldn't look at him twice.”

Penny laughed in delight. “I'll have you know, I married that idiot.” She flashed her diamond at him. “Eight years ago. He's
my
idiot now.”

Gray slid his arms around her from behind and kissed her jaw. They all had a groove, a pace. They all knew each other so well and he…didn't.

BOOK: Nobody But You
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