Not Meant To Be Broken (4 page)

“Because they are lost causes.”

“And I'm not?” I barked out a laugh.

Kevin didn’t reply.

The rest of the ride passed in silence and I was damn grateful for that. I wouldn't have been able to endure more lectures from him. Sex was all I needed.

Amber

It was silent in the apartment. I was alone, and for the first time in days the protective wall I always had around me when Zach and Brian were around was down and I felt almost relaxed. I walked out of my room and into the bathroom. I locked the door, even though I knew Brian and Zach wouldn’t be home for a while. Law school kept them busy most mornings. Yet a tiny part of me felt safer with the lock in place.

I rushed through my shower as usual. Showers – they brought up too many horrible memories – memories I wanted to forget. The first few weeks after I'd woken in the hospital, I'd showered for hours every day, scrubbing my skin with scolding water until I drew blood. I'd tried to wash their smell away, but it was burnt into my memory and even after all those years I could still smell them on my skin. No matter how much vanilla scented shower foam I used, their stench remained.

The psychiatrists told me that it was my imagination. They didn't know how it was to smell those bastards on me, to see their leering faces whenever I closed my eyes, to hear their taunting words in my dreams, to feel their hands on me. Maybe it was my imagination, but for me it was part of my reality. I was trapped with the haunting memories of that day for the rest of my life.

I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower before more horrible thoughts could take hold of me. I wrapped a towel around my body and twisted another one into a turban atop my head to keep my hair in place before I unlocked the door.

Pumpkin was mewing loudly. I followed the noise into the living room and found him sitting on the loveseat, looking tense. I took a few steps toward him when I noticed movement in the corner of my eye.

“Nice towel,” said a male voice.

I whirled around, clutching the tiny towel still tighter against my body. My muscles seized with fear. On the sofa sat two men. Both of them tall and imposing. Terrifying. One of them had dark skin and he looked impossibly strong. The other was leaner but not less intimidating.

My breath stuck in my throat and my vision narrowed, turning black at the corners.

It will happen again.

happen again

happen again

happen again

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t run, couldn’t do anything.

The smaller man with blond locks stood and walked toward me, a leering grin on his face and it reminded me so much of the grins of that night.

Their grins. Taunting and leering.

I backed away from him, shaking my head desperately. The blond man took another step closer to me and the man with the dark skin got up, looking angry and dangerous. ‘No’, I wanted to say, but nothing came out.

“Hey, we're not going to hurt you,” said the blond man.

I'd heard those words before, and shortly after my life had been destroyed.
We won’t hurt you. You’ll enjoy it. You like it rough, bitch, don’t you? Scream for us.

“Bill, you're frightening her, you idiot!” shouted the other man.

My bare back hit the wall. I was trapped. Trapped. Trapped. The words rang in my ears, mingled with my screams from long ago in my head. I sank down to the ground and hugged my legs to my chest, rocking myself back and forth.  Whimpers slipped past my lips and the taste of my tears lingered on my lips.

“Fuck! That's all your damn fault, Bill, you fucking idiot!”

“Shut up, Jason! What are we going to do?”

“She looks like she's in shock.”

“We need to call Brian.”

“Are you fucking insane, Jason? Brian will kill us. Call Zach, he'll know what to do.”

They were shouting, and they were so close. Too close. Too close.

Fear paralyzed me. Memories, haunting and terrifying, kept flashing through my mind. I rocked harder.
Let them go away, please. God, please, don't let them hurt me again.

“Try to shake her out of it, Jason, maybe you'll get through to her.”

A warm hand on my arm. Touching. Gripping. A scream ripped from my throat, raw and desperate. I pulled my knees tighter against myself, shielding me from what was to come, though I knew it was futile. It hadn't kept them from hurting me last time, it wouldn't stop those men this time either. I retreated into myself, seeking shelter in the darkness of my mind where I was safe.

Zachary

This lecture was by far the most boring thing I'd ever had to endure. Mergers & Acquisitions, or what I liked to call it: how to make rich bastards like my father even richer. I rested my forehead on my arm, drowning out the monotone voice of the professor and trying to get some sleep that I hadn't gotten last night.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and my head shot up in surprise. I must have dozed off. I pulled it out without the professor noticing and checked the caller I.D: Jason.

What the fuck did he want now of all times? The dumbass knew I was busy. I ignored him and returned my gaze to the professor with his checkered jacket and cord pants. The vibrating stopped and I was about to return my phone into my pocket when it beeped once, announcing the arrival of a message. I groaned and the person next to me shot me a dark look, which I returned with the same fervor.

Fucking idiot.

I stared down at my mobile and read the message Jason had sent.

Bill and I need your help. Emergency!! A problem with Brian's sister.

My eyes widened. What had those idiots done this time? I grabbed my things and hurried out of the room, ignoring the disapproving look of the professor.

As soon as I was outside, I called Jason. “What the fuck has happened?”

“Zach, thank god. Brian's sister, she's having some kind of panic attack.”

“Where is she?”

“In your apartment...” He sounded sorry. And damn, would he be sorry when Brian found out.

“What the hell are you doing there?” I asked, already getting into my jeep.

“Well...”

“I don't fucking care, I'll be there in a few minutes.” Brian and I should have never given those two morons a spare key. I hung up on Jason and called Brian. He'd be furious. I knew Bill and Jason hadn't done anything to Amber, but having two unknown men in the apartment was probably a damn shock after what she went through.

“Zach?” Brian whispered, probably trying not to disturb his lecture.

“I'm on my way home. Jason called. Your sister is having a panic attack in the apartment,” I said in a rush. There was a second of silence before Brian exploded.

“What have they done? I swear by God I'll kill them if they've done anything to Amber!”

“Bill and Jason wouldn't do anything,” I tried to calm him but he was beyond reasoning.

“I'll kill them!” With that the line went dead.

I sped home in record time. Brian's car wasn’t there yet. I didn't waste any time and ran up the stairs. The door to the apartment was ajar and I pushed it open. I froze at the scene before me. Jason and Bill were sitting on the sofa, both looking pretty close to panic. No fucking wonder. Amber cowered on the ground, her back against the wall and she was rocking back and forth. Her face was buried against her naked legs. Her wet dark hair spilled out of the towel wrapped around her head. She wasn’t wearing anything but a bath towel. I stormed toward the two idiots on the sofa and grabbed Bill by the collar of his shirt, yanking him to his feet.

“What the fuck happened here?”

“We didn’t know she would freak out like that!” he muttered. I wanted to break every bone in his body.

“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do?” I spit out each word, barely able to contain my anger. Bill always tended to fuck things up.

“Bill was curious about Brian's sister because Brian is so damn secretive when it comes to her, so we decided to pay her a visit. We just wanted to talk and then she came out of the bathroom in her towel and when she saw us, she freaked out,” Jason explained hastily.

I released Bill from my grip and turn toward Amber, taking a hesitant step closer to her. I didn't know what to do. Steps sounded in the hall and a moment later the door flew open and Brian stormed in, his eyes wild and furious. In his button-down shirt and oxford’s the expression looked out of place on his face. He glanced at his cowering sister and then he stomped past me and toward Bill. He punched him hard in the face. Jason backed away at once, raising his hands in surrender.

“What the fuck?” Bill seethed thickly, holding his nose, which was bleeding pretty badly. Blood dripped down his lips and chin, and onto his ugly-ass shirt. Brian glowered at him. “I told you to stay away from her! Why couldn't you listen for once?”

Bill shrugged, still holding his nose. “I thought you exaggerated when you said she was scared of men. I didn't know that it’s so...” He chanced a look at Amber, apparently trying to come up with a word to describe the situation. “...serious.” He finished lamely.

“I'm sorry, Brian. If I'd known,” Jason trailed off, shrugging helplessly.

Brian ignored him and approached Amber, then knelt a few feet away from her.

“Amber?” he said softly. “Amber, it's me, Brian.”

She didn’t react. Cautiously I moved closer to them and Brian sent me a desperate look but I didn't know how to help him. He crawled even closer to his sister and frowned deeply. “Jason, give me the blanket,” he ordered.

I followed his gaze. The towel had slipped slightly because of the way Amber pressed her legs against her body. Her thighs were completely exposed; I would have been able to see more if I’d moved my gaze further up. I averted my eyes, not wanting to violate her in this way. She didn’t even notice that she was half naked. I crouched down beside Brian as he tried to cover her with the blanket. She jerked back, letting out a heartbreaking whimper. Brian closed his eyes for a moment, fighting tears. I squeezed his shoulder and he looked at me gratefully. He moved still closer to Amber and put the blanket over her legs. She’d become a statue. “Amber,” he whispered again. She didn’t react in any way, but her shoulders were shaking.

Brian drew in a shaky breath, looking close to breaking. “Amber,” I tried to gain her attention but got nothing.

A knock startled all of us and we turned toward the open door. Kevin stood there, his eyes wide as he looked at Amber.

“I got home a few minutes ago and I heard a scream,” he said eventually. He shared the apartment down the hall with Jason and Bill. If he heard the scream, the entire floor must have too.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose. “Amber...I don't know what to do. It's probably best if we call a doctor.”

Kevin spoke up again. “Reagan came home with me, maybe she can help.”

Maybe a woman wouldn't frighten Amber so much.

“Yes, can you get her?” Brian asked.

Kevin nodded and with a last glance in Amber’s direction, he disappeared from our view. I straightened and began pacing. I felt like I was going to burst from tension. Kevin returned with Reagan at his side.  Brian practically jumped to his feet. “Reagan, thank god, you're here. Maybe you can get through to her.”

Shock crossed Reagan’s face when she spotted Amber. Her red hair was up in a high-ponytail and her shorts and workout-shirt were drenched in sweat. She must have jogged here. She tensed and for a heart-stopping moment I thought she’d say she couldn’t do this, couldn’t handle Amber. But Reagan snapped out of it. Slowly she approached her and lowered herself to the ground a good distance away from Amber before she crawled closer to Amber, who was still rocking herself on the ground. Reagan extended a hand and touched Amber's shoulder. Amber jerked back, but Reagan didn’t let go. “Shhh. It's alright. Everything is alright,” she cooed. Amber relaxed visibly. Reagan didn’t look very intimidating anyway with her freckles and lanky limbs.

“Go away,” she mouthed at us, her eyes imploring. Brian hesitated but I gripped his arm.

“Come on, Brian. Let's go into the kitchen. Reagan needs some time alone with Amber.”

“I guess you are right.” Kevin, Bill and Jason started to follow us but I turned around to the two idiots who’d caused the mess, “You,” I pointed at them. “Get lost. You've done enough damage for one day.”

Jason looked really miserable but Bill just shrugged and left the apartment. Asshole. I shook my head at his behavior and walked into the kitchen. Brian, Kevin and I sat down around the table and stared at each other for a moment. Apparently, neither of us knew what to say. Kevin kept throwing glances my way. Maybe he'd finally realized that Amber wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship. Especially not with me. I wasn’t the right guy for a girl like her.

“Reagan will help her,” he said eventually. I wasn’t sure if it was meant to console me, or Brian. Brian didn’t even raise his head from where he rested it on the table. No sounds were coming from the living room. I wished I knew what was happening. What if Reagan couldn’t talk Amber out of her panic attack? Seeing her like that, so broken and frightened, it was the worst thing I'd ever witnessed. I hated feeling so fucking helpless.

Amber

Someone touched my shoulder. I tried to get away from the person, away from the pain that would surely follow.