Of Being Yours[another way 2] (4 page)

“Sure.”

“How old are you, Jeff?”

He laughed. “Twenty. I know I don’t look it.”

“No, that’s fine,” Will said. “I just don’t want to get arrested in the morning.”

With the shower on to let the water heat up, Will and I stripped off the last of our clothes and went about the tedious task of removing wigs and false eyelashes.

“You should use lotion to get that makeup off,” Jeff said. “Not water. Trust me.”

I laughed and searched under the counter for something to use. “This okay?” I asked him, holding up a bottle.

“Yeah, it’ll do,” he said.

After quickly wiping as much of the makeup off as I could, I dove under the hot water, finally relaxing as the grime from the club was washed off my skin. Will quickly joined me and lathered up my hair with shampoo, washing out gel and hairspray and God knows what else from where we’d pinned the wigs on.

Jeff was watching us, perched on the back of the toilet with his feet on the lid as I washed Will off until 
my
 Will was back—not a drag Velma Kelly but my man, the one I loved.

I kissed his nose and nuzzled his neck.

“Fuck,” Jeff murmured. “You’re even hotter when you’re men.”

Will laughed and turned off the water, handing me a towel with his other hand so I could dry off. I tied it around my hips as I stepped out and presented myself for Jeff’s approval.

He was pretty cute too, in his own way. Completely not the type of man I ever imagined myself being with, not that I’d ever really been attracted to any men other than Will. He was shorter than us and very slight, with narrow hips and a smooth chest, pale skin, and a cute round ass. I reached a hand out to him and he took it and let me draw him in closer.

He wrapped his arms loosely around my waist, and I ran my fingers through his short light-brown hair a few times, then took the plunge and leaned in to kiss his lips lightly.

“Oh fuck,” he murmured.

Will grabbed my hand and led us through to the bedroom, then took a seat in the corner (after dumping my clean laundry on the floor), clearly letting me run the show, content to sit back and watch.

“Do you two do this often?” Jeff asked, showing the first sign of nerves as I ran my hands up and down his bare torso.

“Never,” I said and leaned in to lick his neck. “You’re the first.”

“I feel special,” he teased.

I took his earlobe between my teeth and tugged. “You are.”

He pushed his hands down the back of my towel and gently stroked my bare ass cheeks, causing the towel to fall to the floor in a wet thud. I was half hard already.

Kissing Jeff was different. He wasn’t strong and commanding like Will could be, or even soft and loving. He was horny and needy and submissive. For the first time, I got an idea of what Will felt when he dominated me. It wasn’t bad, just… different.

I broke the kiss and looked over to him to make sure we were still okay, confident that I could gauge his reaction by his expression alone.

“Go on,” he said to the pair of us. “This is hot as fuck.”

I laughed and angled myself to kiss Jeff again. He gently rubbed his palms over my pierced nipples, making me sigh and nip his bottom lip with my teeth and grow to full hardness against his short shorts, which were, for some strange reason, still on.

But I missed my chance to get them off, as he sank to his knees in front of me, buried his nose in my groin, and inhaled deeply. He gently tongued my balls, testing their weight as his fingertips skimmed up and down the outsides of my thighs.

I was still facing Will and caught his eye as Jeff took the head of my cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head before taking the shaft deeper down his throat.

“Fuck,” I whimpered, my eyes locked with Will’s. I couldn’t do this without involving him in the moment.

“Fuck him,” Will mouthed at me silently, the words clear on his lips. My hips jerked further into Jeff’s mouth, making him choke.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” I said, pulling him to his feet.

“No problem,” he said, smiling his warm, easy smile.

It was my turn to drop to my knees and help him out of the shorts that looked painted on.

I ran my nose up the underside of his cock and licked the sticky tip, then stood and guided him to the bed on his hands and knees. Jeff looked back at me coquettishly and wiggled his ass. I slapped it gently, making him giggle.

Both Will and I had a thing for rimming these days. It was something I’d gotten used to over the years and had become more than slightly talented at it. Sometimes Will could come just from me licking his ass—no hands. I placed both hands on Jeff’s cheeks and spread them wide, then buried my face between them.

He tasted of man and sweat, sweet and musky and salty; his pucker twitched under my tongue, and he moaned loudly in approval.

“Shit,” I muttered, straightening and turning to Will. “Do we have condoms?”

We never used them anymore. He looked stricken for a moment; then he held up a finger and ran from the room, his erection bobbing in front of him.

“You really don’t do this often?” Jeff said from his spot on the bed.

“No,” I said.

“Well, shit. I thought that was a line.”

I laughed and rubbed at his asshole with my thumb. “Nope. Not a line.”

Will reappeared in the doorway with two condoms and a proud expression on his face. He’d clearly dug them out of the playroom somewhere, but I wasn’t going to tell Jeff that.

He tossed one to me and put the other on the nightstand, then handed me the bottle of lube.

I made quick work of stretching and lubing Jeff up for me, and this time Will didn’t sit down. He stood just behind my right shoulder, watching me intently.

I turned to him, presenting him with my hard cock as Jeff squirmed under the two fingers that were firmly lodged in his asshole. Will smiled and rolled the condom down my cock, kissing my lips lightly, then passing back the lube for me to rub it over the latex.

“Okay?” I checked with Jeff.

“Yes, fuck me, please,” he whimpered.

I bit down on my bottom lip as I gently pulled my fingers from him, replaced them with my cock, and pushed forward slightly. His ass looked too small, too delicate to accept the thickness of my cock, but the kid was obviously more experienced than I’d given him credit for. He cried and begged and rocked his hips back, desperate for me to fuck him harder.

I gripped his hips and thrust hard. He screamed. I looked at Will, who had poured some of the lube in his palm and was stroking his dick with his eyes firmly fixed on mine.

“Still hot?” I asked him, wiping sweat from my forehead.

“Fuck yeah,” both Will and Jeff answered together.

I started to fuck him then, holding him steady, as the kid obviously had a thing for bucking into the cock in his ass. He was so fucking tight, and I never fucked Will like this, raw and fast, hips snapping and balls slapping and desperate whines coming from my lover’s throat.

Will turned his face into my neck and started to lick the skin there, sucking on my collarbones, then biting down gently; catching an earlobe between his teeth and flicking his tongue against it. He jerked his cock in uncoordinated movements, belying his desperation, proving how turned on he was.

Just as I was going to reach around and give Jeff a hand in getting off, he whimpered and cried out as he came. Moments later Will came too, shooting against the pale globes of Jeff’s ass. Will attached his lips to my neck again, flicking his fingers against my nipples with one hand as the other traced circles in the cum on Jeff’s skin.

My head snapped back and I 
screamed
 as I came—not gasping Will’s name, not whispering terms of endearment, but screaming, the instant rush of relief not bringing a warm, snuggly feeling but a weakness in my knees. Will caught me, chuckling, and tossed me onto the bed where Jeff was already sprawled out, recovering.

We fell asleep, a pile of three bodies and twined limbs in a bed that was perfect for two but clearly too small for three. I woke up after a much too short amount of time asleep with just Will sleeping next to me. Jeff had gone at some point in the night, leaving only glittery sheets as evidence that he’d been there at all.

I rose and stretched, feeling rather pleased with myself even with the slight uncertainty about the conversation that was surely imminent between Will and myself. Letting him sleep, I headed downstairs to make coffee for us both. The sun was streaming through the kitchen window, making me wince; I took a few painkillers with a pint of water to ward off a hangover that I seemed to have nearly fucked out of my system anyway.

As the coffee was brewing, I wandered through the house, barefoot and wearing just a pair of boxers, and found myself in the hall, where a sheet of paper had Jeff’s name and number scrawled on it. I turned it over in my hands, half expecting a note or some other message, a whiny, desperate “call me” or something, but nothing. He was cute and clearly up for a repeat if we ever wanted it, but I couldn’t imagine it would happen again. I put the paper back on the table and went back to the kitchen to pour the coffee.

With two mugs in one hand and a plate of toast in the other, I headed back to bed and left Will’s mug on his nightstand to let the smell of breakfast wake him up. It didn’t take long.

“Mmm?” he hummed and rolled over in bed, leaned in to me and kissed the first bit of skin he found, which happened to be my belly.

“Morning,” I said softly.

He propped himself up in bed and reached for his coffee, taking a few restorative sips before leaning in for a kiss.

“How are you?” I asked tentatively.

“Fine,” he said. “Since when are we talking to each other like one of us is a cancer patient?”

“Because I don’t know how you’re feeling about last night,” I said, feeling decidedly touchy.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Great. It was awesome. Very hot. Do you want to do it again?”

“Not particularly,” I admitted.

“Good. Me either. Let’s check it off our bucket list and move on.”

I laughed genuinely now. “Okay. Thanks. I love you.”

“I love you too, you idiot.”

Despite his blasé dismissal of our activities the night before, Will was decidedly sulky for the rest of the morning, something I attributed to a hangover. Although I’d had a fair amount to drink myself, I wasn’t suffering like he was, and I decided it was better to let him wallow in his own misery rather than join him in it.

For lunch I made a pile of sandwiches and took them out on the deck with a pitcher of iced tea. I was happy to sit back and enjoy the rare sun for a half hour before finishing off the chores that needed to be done. Apparently Will still wasn’t up to conversation.

I started to stack up the dishes again when he caught my wrist.

“Were you going to tell me about this?” Will asked, setting the note with Jeff’s phone number on the table between us.

I shrugged. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. I’m not going to call him.”

“Oh.” His tone was forced—casual—making me painfully aware that the nonissue was now definitely an issue.

“Will, if I wanted to hide it from you, do you think I would have just left it out for you to find? I found it, read it, and couldn’t be bothered to do anything with it, so I left it on the table.”

“If you want to do it again, it’s something we need to talk about now,” he said. “Not after you go and do it behind my back.”

“What the fuck?” I demanded. “I’ve never given you reason to think I’d cheat. Why are you bringing it up now?”

“You cheated on Adele,” he muttered.

I stood and stormed back inside without bothering to answer him.

About an hour later, he found me vacuuming like I’d just heard the apocalypse was coming… due to dust bunnies.

“I’m sorry,” he said, too loudly over the noise. I pretended not to hear him. “Look, Jesse, I know I was a dick, but please don’t ignore me.”

I turned the vacuum cleaner off and glared at him.

“I’m not good at begging,” he said sheepishly. “Or being on my knees. But I’ll do both if it helps.”

I shook my head. “You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah. I am.”

“You had no right to say that about me. Leaving Adele was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I agonized over it for
months
, Will. Fuck, you were there. You watched it. And it fucking hurts when you throw that back in my face.”

“Okay,” he said, holding up his hands. “But Jesse, you wanted that kid. I was not the only one who could see that. You were looking at him like he was a Diet Coke and you were dying of thirst.”

“I was not,” I said.

“You were too. I don’t care, but you could have told me yourself instead of letting someone else point it out to me.”

I shook my head. “I was buzzed, okay? I was feeling self-conscious about wearing a dress and the kid was a nice ego boost. If we’d left it at that, I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I know. But I thought it would be better to let you get it out of your system when I could be there too rather than….”

He didn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t need to.

“Rather than me sneaking off and doing it behind your back, is that what you mean?”

“No.”

My whole body tensed with frustration, and I wanted to just
growl
at him for being such a fucking idiot. “What happened to talking to me, Will? What happened to trusting me and fucking communication and making decisions about our life
together?
Isn’t that what partners are supposed to do?”

He turned away from me and paced over to the window, then leaned on his hands on the light oak frame as he looked out at the street. I watched dispassionately as he rolled his shoulders, turned, walked back to me.

“I was scared,” he admitted. “I’m only ever scared of one thing, and it’s losing you.”

The desire to scream at him for being an absolute idiot was huge. Battling that, though, was the desire to hug him and whisper in his ear that he was being an absolute idiot, and I loved him regardless.

Shaking my head and dropping the vacuum cleaner to the floor seemed like a reasonable compromise.