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Authors: Elizabeth Lowell

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BOOK: Only Mine
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“Finding a suitable husband for you is Lady Victoria’s duty,” Wolfe said tightly.


No.
I will lie beneath the ground before I lie beneath a man.”

Wolfe’s eyes narrowed at the certainty in Jessica’s voice. She would sooner die than couple with a man.

Any man.

“But you want me to marry you,” he said neutrally.

A smile trembled on Jessica’s lips. “You would never touch me like that. Men marry because they must have heirs. Women marry because they want wealth. You have no need of an heir and I have no need of wealth.”

A dangerous stillness came over Wolfe as Jessica’s words sank into him. “Even a bastard has…needs.”

“What does bastardy have to do with it?” she asked with exasperation.

For a few taut moments, Wolfe said nothing. Then his breath rushed out in a soundless sigh as he understood that Jessica had meant no insult to him by assuming that a bastard wouldn’t want to couple with his wife; she simply didn’t realize that men wanted more than heirs from a marriage.

“Dear Wolfe,” Jessica said softly, touching the sleeve of his nightshirt. “Do marry me. We are good friends. We would have such fun living in America, hunting and fishing and eating by the campfire.”

“My God, you really mean that,” he said, stunned by the magnitude of her is understanding of what marriage was.

“Oh, yes.” She smiled as the cage of fear loosened around her heart. “I have never enjoyed
being with anyone so much as you, my Lord Wolfe. Now we can be together again. What could be better?”

He said something profane, then ran his hand wearily through his black hair. “Did you set me up, Jessi? Did you send your maid to fetch Lady Victoria as a witness while you ran to my room looking like a girl on the way to her lover?”

Jessica shook her head vigorously. The motion made lamplight twist and run through her long hair like streamers of fire.

“No. I didn’t plan this.” She drew in a long, ragged breath. “But now that it has happened, I will swear on my mother’s grave that we have lain together. Then you’ll have to marry me. Then I’ll be free.”

“What of me? What of my freedom?”

Jessica looked up at Wolfe with clear, brilliant eyes. “I’ve thought of that, too. I won’t ask anything of you. You will be free to come or go as you please. If you want a shooting companion, I’ll hunt with you. If you want to travel alone, I won’t complain. If you want a special fly to lure trout, I’ll tie it for you.”

“Jessi—”

She talked right over Wolfe. “If you want my conversation, I’ll be there. If you want silence, I’ll leave the room. I’ll see that your house is well run and that only food you like is served. And when dinner is over I’ll warm your brandy glass in my hands until fragrance fills the crystal globe and then I will give it to you and we will sit together and no storms will ever come inside…”

The silence stretched and shimmered like a candle flame pulled by wind. Finally, Wolfe turned his back to Jessica because he couldn’t trust himself to
look at her any longer and not lose his temper in a way that he had never done with any living creature.

“Jessi,” he said finally, softly. “The life you’re describing is the life of an English lord and lady. I’m not a lord. My wife will live in America. She won’t live the life of an aristocratic lady.”

“I love America. I’ve been sick with longing to see the tall grass and great buffalo again. I’ve missed the endless sky. Betsy has taught me American ways. When I’m with her, you can hear my British accent hardly at all. I’ve worked very hard at being American,” Jessica said earnestly. “I knew you wouldn’t want to live in England.”

Wolfe spun around. “You
did
trap me!”

Jessica bent her head and looked at her tightly laced hands. “No, my Lord Wolfe. When I understood that Victoria meant to see me married, I tried to imagine belonging to a man. And I simply couldn’t imagine belonging to any other man but you, so I had to learn how to belong to you. I’ve thought about this quite a lot, you see.”

When Wolfe said nothing, she looked up at him again, her eyes luminous, pleading. “I don’t want to disappoint Lord Robert. I don’t want to lie to Lady Victoria. I don’t want to trap you into marriage.”

“But you will.”

“Only if I must.”

Wolfe said something shocking under his breath, but the words were lost in the sustained howling of the wind. Trembling despite her determination and straight spine, Jessica waited.

When Wolfe finally moved, it was so suddenly that she flinched. He went to the bedroom door, jerked it open, and was confronted by two pairs
of anxious eyes. Betsy and the sleeping Gore had disappeared. Glancing from Wolfe’s shuttered expression to Jessica’s desperate composure, the Stewarts came into the bedroom and closed the heavy door behind them.

“Well?” Robert demanded.

“Lady Jessica is prepared to swear I’ve had her,” Wolfe said coldly. “I haven’t.”

Robert looked at Jessica. “Is that true?”

“I will marry Wolfe,” she said in a low voice, “or I will marry no man at all.”

“Bloody hell,” muttered the lord. He looked at Wolfe. “What are we to do?”

“Just what you’ve always done—give the spoiled little aristocrat what she wants.”

“You will marry her?”

“After a fashion,” Wolfe drawled. “Lady Jessica has some girlish romantic fancy about living in the West.”

“Hardly a fancy,” Jessica said. “I’ve been beyond the Mississippi. I know what awaits me.”

“Like hell you do,” Wolfe said. “You think it’s going to be one long hunting holiday. It won’t be. I can’t afford such things, and even if I could, I wouldn’t.”

Victoria looked from her stubborn ward to the savage planes of Wolfe’s face. She smiled and then began laughing softly. “Ah, Wolfe, your mind is as quick and sharp as a rapier. But Jessica is also quick, and as stubborn as Scots granite.”

Wolfe grunted. “I’m a hell of a lot harder than stone. Lady Jessica will soon realize that marriage to me isn’t some long hunting expedition complete with china, silver, and enough servants to curry the buffalo before they’re shot. If she lasts until we
reach my home at the edge of the Rockies I’ll be surprised.”

Jessica’s back became even straighter as she heard the rage and derision in Wolfe’s voice. The look he slanted at her out of his dark eyes was no kinder.

“When she gets over her foolishness,” Wolfe said curtly, turning back to Victoria, “I’ll have the marriage annulled and return her to you the same way she came to me—completely untouched.”

“Oh, I hope not
completely,
” Victoria said with amusement. “Teach the stubborn little nun not to fear a man. Then you will both be free.”

Wolfe turned his back on Victoria and looked at Jessica with cold indigo eyes. “It’s not too late to stop this farce, my lady. You’ll soon tire of being the common wife of a common man.”

“I shall not tire of being your wife.” It was a vow, and Jessica said it as such.

“Yes, you shall,” Wolfe said.

And that, too, was a vow.

1

St. Joseph, Missouri

Spring 1867

“D
O
be reasonable, my Lord Wolfe. It wasn’t my idea to dismiss Betsy and the footmen.”

“I’m not your lord. I’m a bastard, remember?”

“I find my memory improving with each moment,” Jessica said under her breath. “Ouch! That pinched.”

“Then stop wiggling like a worm on a hook. There are twenty buttons left and they’re as small as peas. Damnation. What silly idiot made a dress that a woman has to be helped into?”

And out of.

That was the worst of it. Wolfe knew the time would come eventually when he would have to undo each of the glittering jet buttons, and each undoing would reveal more warm, fragrant skin and fine lace lingerie. She was an elf who barely came up to his breastbone, but she was bringing him to his knees with raw desire. Her back was supple and elegant as a dancer’s, graceful as a
flame; and like a flame she burned him.

“I’m sorry,” Jessica whispered unhappily as Wolfe’s words scorched her ears. “I had hoped—”

“Stop whispering, damn it. If you have something to say, say it and damn all this aristocratic foolishness about talking so softly a man has to bend double to hear you.”

“I thought that you would be glad to see me,” Jessica said with great clarity. “Until this morning, I’ve not seen you once in the months since we exchanged vows. You haven’t asked me how my voyage was, nor about the train trip across the United States, nor—”

“You said you wouldn’t complain if I left you alone,” Wolfe interrupted curtly. “Are you complaining, Lady Jessica?”

Jessica fought against a wave of unhappiness. This wasn’t how she had imagined her reunion with Wolfe. She had been looking forward to riding over the Great American Desert with him on eager blooded horses. She had been looking forward to long days of comfortable silence and lively conversation, to nighttime fires beneath the blazingly clear American sky. But most of all, she had looked forward to seeing Wolfe.

“When your letter came asking me to meet you here,” she said, “I thought you had gotten over your pique.”

“Pique. Now there’s a mincing, aristocratic kind of word.” His fingers fumbled and touched warm flesh. With a savage curse he jerked his fingers back. “You don’t know me very well,
lady
. I wasn’t piqued. I was bloody furious. I will remain that way until you grow up, agree to an annulment, and return to England where you belong.”

“Nor do you know me very well. You thought
I would give up and beg for an annulment at the prospect of traveling alone to America.”

Wolfe grunted. That had been precisely his thought. But Jessica had surprised him. She had arranged for her own passage and that of her maid, hired two footmen with the small inheritance that had come at her marriage, and crossed the Atlantic alone.

“I doubt that you’ll find traveling with me as pleasant as you found being alone. Not that you were truly alone, my lady. Your entourage took care of your every need. Damn it, can’t you even keep your hair out of the way?” he asked roughly as a long, silken tendril of hair slid from her grasp and over his finger.

Jessica’s arms were weary from holding her hair on top of her head, but all she said as she gathered up the fugitive lock was, “A maid and two footmen aren’t an entourage.”

“In America they are. An American woman does for herself and for her man as well.”

“Betsy said she worked in a household that had twelve servants.”

“Betsy must have worked for a carpetbagger.”

Jessica blinked. “I don’t think so. The man sold stocks, not rugs.”

Wolfe tried not to let humor blunt his anger. He wasn’t completely successful. “A carpetbagger is a kind of thief,” he said carefully.

“So is a rug merchant.”

Wolfe made a muffled sound.

“You’re laughing, aren’t you?” Delight and relief were in Jessica’s voice and in her face when she looked over her shoulder at him. “You see? It won’t be so bad, being married to me.”

The line of Wolfe’s mouth flattened once more.
All he could see from where he stood was a badly buttoned dress and the graceful curve of a woman’s neck. But Jessica wasn’t a woman. Not really. She was a cold, spoiled little English aristocrat, the precise kind of woman he had detested since he had been old enough to understand that the glittering ladies of privilege didn’t want him as a man; they wanted only to know what rutting with a savage was like.

“Wolfe?” Jessica whispered, searching the face that had once again become that of a stranger.

“Turn around. If I don’t get this bloody thing done up, we’ll miss the stage.”

“But I’m not dressed for the theater.”

“Theater?” Belatedly Wolfe understood. “Stage
coach.
Not that you’re dressed for that, either. Those crinolines will take up half the bench.”

“Stagecoach?”

“Yes, my lady,” Wolfe said mockingly. “A means of conveyance having four wheels, a driver, horses—”

“Oh, do hush up. I know what a stagecoach is,” Jessica interrupted. “I was just surprised. We went by horseback and carriage before.”

“You were a proper little aristocrat then. Now you’re a plain old American wife. When you get tired of it, you know the way out.”

Wolfe reached for another button. A gold chain gleamed just beneath his fingers. He remembered giving the chain and locket to her. It was a symbol of a time that would never come again, a time when he and his redheaded hoyden had been free simply to enjoy one another.

Except for an occasional low curse, Wolfe silently finished fastening the maddening jet buttons on Jessica’s day dress.

“There,” he said with relief as he stepped away. “Where are your trunks?”

“My trunks?” she asked absently, wanting to groan with the relief of no longer having to hold the heavy, slippery mass of her hair over her head.

“You must have packed your clothes in something. Where are your trunks?”

“Trunks.”

“Lady Jessica, if I had wanted a parrot I would have become a sea captain. Where are your damned trunks?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “The footmen attended to them after Betsy unpacked.”

Wolfe raked a big hand through his hair and tried not to notice the picture Jessica made with her ice-blue day dress peeking through the muted fire of her unbound hair.

“Bloody. Useless.
Lady.

“Swearing at me won’t help,” she said stiffly.

“Don’t bet on it.”

Wolfe stalked out of the hotel room and slammed the door behind himself.

Jessica barely had enough time to hide her unhappiness beneath a serene expression before Wolfe reappeared with a trunk balanced on each shoulder. Behind him were two rough-looking strangers who were little older than boys. Each carried two empty trunks. The young men dumped their cargo and stared with great interest at the fashionably dressed woman whose loose hair tumbled in shimmering waves to her hips.

“Thank you,” Wolfe said to the young men as they set down the trunks.

“My pleasure,” said the younger one. “We heard a real English lady was in town. Never thought we’d get a chance to see one.”

“Actually, I’m Scots.”

The youth smiled. “Either way, you’re pretty as a kitten in a velvet box. If you need any help getting the trunks to the stage, just holler. We’ll come running.”

Jessica flushed at the young man’s open admiration. “That’s very kind of you.”

Wolfe grunted and gave the youths a look that sent them out of the room in a hurry. The bold one turned back and tipped his hat to Jessica just before he shut the door.

“Bind up your hair,” Wolfe said coldly. “Even in America, a woman doesn’t let anyone but her family see her with her hair rumbling to her hips.”

Without a word, Jessica went to the small dressing table and picked up one of the brushes Betsy had set out before she left. Drawn despite himself to the implied intimacy of her unbound hair flowing around her hips, Wolfe watched from the corner of his eye as Jessica began brushing.

After a few minutes it became apparent that Jessica wasn’t happy with the brush. She kept shifting it in her grip, trying to figure out the best way to tame her seething, silky hair and make it behave as Betsy had. Twice, Jessica dropped the brush. The third time the brush fell, Wolfe picked it up, ran his fingertips over the ivory handle, and looked at Jessica curiously.

“It’s smooth, but not slippery,” he said, handing it to her.

“Thank you.” Jessica looked at the baffling tool that seemed to do nothing more than make her hair leap and crackle with electricity. “I don’t understand what’s wrong. It worked well enough for Betsy.”

“It worked well enough for…” Wolfe’s voice died.

“You’re right. There seems to be a parrot loose in this room,” she said blandly.

“My God! You don’t even know how to dress your own hair.”

“Of course not. That was Betsy’s job, and quite good at it she was.” Jessica looked at Wolfe cautiously. There was a stunned expression on his face. “I take it that American women complete their toilet unassisted?”

“My God.”

“Ah, then it’s a religious custom.” Jessica sighed. “Very well, if every Betsy and Abigail here can do it, so can I. Give me the brush, please.”

Wolfe was too staggered to resist. Numbly he watched as Jessica brought the brush down through her hair with great determination and no finesse. The too-rapid stroke caused another surge of static electricity. Her hair crackled and fanned out, tangling with buttons and clinging to whatever it touched.

One of the things her hair touched was Wolfe’s hand. Fine strands wrapped around his skin and clung like a lover. The sensation was indescribably silky. His heartbeat doubled. With a curse he snatched his hand back, accidentally yanking her hair in the process.

Jessica’s breath came in with a startled sound as her eyes watered. “That wasn’t necessary.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose. Your hair attacked me.”

“Attacked you?”

“You have a point. We must do something about that blasted parrot.”

She turned and saw her hair wrapped around
his wrist and tangled in the button on his cuff. “Are the teeth very sharp?”

“What?”

“Betsy warned me about my hair’s unruly appetite for buttons,” Jessica said gravely, “but she said nothing about flesh. I hope your wound isn’t serious.”

Wolfe’s shoulders moved as he tried to stifle laughter at Jessica’s solemn teasing. He snickered as he picked individual strands of hair from the button.

“Perhaps I’d better do that,” she offered. “If you startle the red ones, they bite quite savagely.”

Wolfe gave up and laughed aloud, knowing as he did so that he was a fool but unable to do anything about it at the moment. Of all the people he had ever known, only Jessica was able to make him laugh so easily.

“Damn it, elf…”

Jessica smiled and touched Wolfe’s hand. The light caress made his hand jerk, but he said nothing. When the last silky strand of hair was freed from his clothing, he went to the table and poured clean water over his hands from the ewer. Shaking off loose drops, he went back to Jessica.

“Stand still.”

Slowly, he smoothed his damp hands over her hair from her crown to her hips. Soon her hair was lying in obedient waves.

“Give me the brush,” Wolfe said.

His voice was low, almost hoarse, and his eyes were nearly black. He dampened the brush slightly, then returned to work on Jessica’s hair. Unlike her maid, he stood in front of her rather than in back as he brushed her hair.

“Wolfe?”

“Hmm?”

“My maids stand behind me.”

“Too many buttons. Don’t want to tempt the beastly appetites.”

Jessica looked up at Wolfe, curious about the velvety roughness of his voice. Her breath caught as she realized she was standing closer to Wolfe than she had when they waltzed on the night of her twentieth birthday. With other men, she hadn’t liked being close, but with Wolfe she had resented the decorum of the waltz that had prevented her from burrowing closer to Wolfe’s strength.

The pulse in his neck beat strongly, intriguing her. If she stood on tiptoe and leaned forward just a bit, or if she lifted her hand, she would be able to feel his heartbeat.

“Did that hurt?” he asked.

“Hurt?”

“Little redheaded parrot,” he murmured. He gathered a handful of hair, lifted it well away from Jessica’s breasts, and brushed slowly all the way to the ends as he talked. “When you made that odd little sound, I thought I had hurt you again.”

She shook her head slowly, sending the cool silk of her loose hair over Wolfe’s hands. “No. I was just thinking.”

“What were you thinking?”

“I’ve never noticed the pulse beating in your neck before. Once I noticed it, I thought of touching it, of feeling the very movement of your life beneath my fingertips…”

Wolfe’s hand jerked at the sudden surge of his heart. The motion brought him very close to touching her breasts. He stopped brushing her hair.

“Dangerous thoughts, Jessi.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes a man want to let you touch the life in him.”

“Why is that dangerous?”

Wolfe looked down into Jessica’s clear eyes and knew that she hadn’t the faintest idea how much her words might arouse a man.

Teach the stubborn little nun not to fear a man’s touch. Then you’ll both be free.

Wolfe wondered if Jessica was teasing him solemnly once more, as she had about the ferocity of her silky, unbound hair. Slowly, he decided that she wasn’t teasing him. She truly didn’t know what he was talking about. The extent of her innocence astonished him. The aristocratic ladies he had known in England acquired new lovers the way a gambler acquired new cards—frequently and unemotionally.

“Have you ever touched a man like that, feeling his very life?” Wolfe asked, lifting the brush once more.

“No.”

“Why not, if it intrigues you so?”

“I never noticed it before now. And if I had, I would have done nothing.”

“Why?”

“I would have to stand quite close to a man to touch him like that,” Jessica said. “The thought appalls.”

“You’re standing quite close to me. I’m a man.”

“Ah, but you’re my very own Lord Wolfe. When the storm had me in its teeth, you snatched me close and held the thunder at bay. When other children teased me savagely about my common blood, you came and put an end to it. You taught me to shoot and to ride and to fish. And no matter
how I teased you, you were never cruel to your elf.”

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