Only Skin Deep (18 page)

“I’ll
do that. Thanks for not calling the cops, see you later.” Derek stood to leave.

“Tell
her, Derek. You have to trust someone besides your parents. Everyone needs
friends.”

Donato
frowned at
Nadja
.
“Snooping?”

“A
little but just to make sure you didn’t kill him, can’t have my best friend a
widow before she’s married and we’re godparents.”

Derek
laughed. “I’m not even mad. And for the record, I do consider you and
Donato
friends. Trusting takes me a bit longer than most
folks, even though my gut tells me to.”

Derek
shut the door quietly behind him. At the bar, he checked the schedules out with
Tomas and set a few dates to get in some practice. After tonight, he needed to
lock that part of him back up tight and relieve his issues in a controlled
environment.

In
the morning he’d sit down over coffee and bagels and tell his story to
Deja
. She deserved to know the truth about him and his
upbringing before he proposed to her. If he didn’t
chickenshit
out, he’d tell her about tonight and how her friends helped him come to the
realization that he wasn’t alone and could trust. His beliefs were rusty but
not wholly gone. Now he only needed a way to work out the burden weighing heavy
on him.

Chapter Six

Inclement
weather struck again, ruining
Deja’s
plan to make her
way to the store. Plows had yet to make their way down the highways. Side
streets came last. Underneath the fluffy snow laced ground, the very devil
lurked waiting to create havoc and fill the hospitals with victims of
happenstance. Black ice wouldn’t get her again. Her energy level was at zero.
Between transformers exploding and Derek tossing and turning, she barely got a
wink of sleep. The only reason she lay there staring at her boyfriend was her
internal clock. Every morning she woke up at the same time, and had since she
was a child. Being in a big family had that effect. Her inability to sleep in
made no sense now, since she lived alone, no noise factor unless she created
the sounds.

Derek
wound his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him. “Hey beautiful,
what are you doing up?” His stubble grazed her neck sending shivers down her
spine. She turned into his embrace, resting her cheek against his neck,
inhaling his scent.

“I’m
worried about you. Normally you’re like the sleeping dead. Not last night.
Where did you go? I waited for you to make dinner, but got hungry. So I ate
without you and then took another nap. I can’t get used to this having no
energy thing.”

“
Donato
needed to see me.” Derek brushed his lips against
her nape, his hands inching under her nightshirt to mold her breasts. He made
her hot, her nipples beaded up. She offered no resistance, welcoming his touch
on her body, melting into him.

Can’t get much better than
lazy morning sex.
Hard muscle pulsated against her belly. She
reached under the band of his boxers, in a teasing move. His cock jumped at her
slight touch. “I want you so bad.”

Derek
edged her panties down with one hand while she worked to remove his boxers,
careful not to hurt him. He sprung out full mast into her hand. She would never
get enough of the thick girth and long length of him. Her mouth watered for a
taste.
Deja
placed her finger over his mouth, halting
him from talking. With a wicked smile, she moved down the bed, giving herself a
close up view. He groaned when she fisted him in her hand and stroked, covering
the crown of his cock with her mouth. Using teasing pulls, she suckled, and
flattened her tongue around his cock before encasing him down her throat.

“Babe, fuck that’s good.”
Derek pushed his hips up, forcing
her to relax her throat.

She
loved making him crazy, bringing him close, the look on his chiseled face, sexy
mused hair and deep blue eyes locking with hers for one moment all because of
the power she held over him. Giddy from pleasing him made her empty pussy
contract. Giving oral tended to make her dripping wet, knowing if she wanted a
stream of cum shot down her throat she could force him to lose control and he’d
be powerless to stop her. Instead she took her time, enjoying seeing him battle
for control, the one thing he refused to give totally up.

Deja
allowed herself one last slow suck, and then rose,
moving over him, holding him at the core of her sex. She pressed down, fullness
settling over her as she came to rest at the base of his cock with a soft groan
of pleasure, biting her lip when his fingers bit into her hips.

“Move
Deja
.”
Derek’s gruff tenor
spurred her into motion, setting the pace for a hard ride. He rose up, taking a
peaked nipple into his mouth.
Deja
flexed her
sex ,
and slowly slid over and on him, her move brought her
breast fully to his mouth giving him leave to do his worst. He was all things
sinew and power, strength exuded off him. She took him into her body with
jarring jolts the faster he slapped her ass, and then smoothed away the sting
with a gentle touch. Her pussy ached. When he flipped them over taking control
she wrapped her legs around him, holding on for the ride of her life. Derek
caged her with his hulking form, making her feel so tiny, a feeling she loved,
made her feel more feminine. He slammed home. Cursed and stilled.

“I’m
sorry love, did I hurt you?”

“I’m
pregnant not fragile. Trust me love, we’re okay.
Will be better
than that if you engage again.”
She flexed her vaginal walls around him
and bucked her hips up.

Derek
blanketed her body, flush to his, bracing on his forearms, in a move taking him
as deep as he could go, rocking.
Deja’s
jaw locked,
he felt so good. His breath came out in even hisses with each long drive. She
dug her nails into his back. He pressed kisses along her nape, up the slope of
her neck, jaw and lips. She parted for
him,
giving him
leave to plunder with the same intensity he made love. Her body ignited, went
lax, her pussy quivered, the sensitivity too much to bear. She let out a scream
in his mouth as her body splintered into a million pieces, stealing her breath.
He breathed life back into her while rebuilding a blinding tension until she couldn’t
take any more. He brought her over the edge again. Derek was
close,
she felt his cock strain rock hard and jerk to fill her with jets of cum. The
smell of sex lingered in the air around them as he came to a stall within her.
Deja
wrapped her arms around him, anchoring their bodies
together.

“I’m
not going anywhere, baby.”

“I
know. I just want you to stay in me.” She kissed his sweat drenched skin and
gazed into his passionate face. “I love you so much I’m afraid my heart will
explode sometimes.”

“I
love you too
Deja
. So much I’d love to keep showing
you over and over again, so you know I’m not going anywhere, that there’s no obstacle
that will ever separate us.” Derek rolled them to their sides to cuddle. She
placed her hand on his face, stroking his stubbly jaw.

“I’m
beginning to believe you mean what you say. You gonna tell me what made you so
restless last night?” She waited while he struggled to begin.

“My
real dad went to jail when I was a kid for domestic abuse when I was ten,
leaving my mom alone and in debt. Unlike the first time, she didn’t take him
back. We were poor, lived on what she brought in. I did what I could until I
was old enough to get a job to help. Seeing her tired and sad took a toll. My
mom made enough on a nursing salary to provide basic needs but not much more.
She met
Kain
my step-father when I was in my early
teens. At first I resented his intrusion. She didn’t need any man, but me. When
they married I didn’t make life easy for them.
Fought him
every step of the way.
Our power struggle put a strain on my
ma,
so much that I made her cry all the time. I hurt her.
Kain
allowed me to find my place in their lives. He wasn’t
easy on me. I resented the hurt I caused but hated even more he was the one to
make her smile. When they married, we moved. The difference in where I’d been
raised and where he relocated us was night and day.”

Deja
kissed his shoulder, and hooked her leg around his hip
as he continued.

“I
eventually made friends. We were inseparable. I became an asset once others saw
I excelled at basketball, baseball and soccer. I had more people in my corner
than I knew what to do with. They may have had ulterior motives for befriending
me, but once we got to know each other, what led us into friendship didn’t
matter. That it began out of a teammate brotherhood was so different than my
old life. I told them about where I’d lived. To this day I still feel guilty.
How they ended up in my old spot two years later, I don’t know. By the time I
made it to them they were dead and I was near death’s door minutes later.”
Derek stopped speaking. When
Deja
glanced up into his
face, she saw a storm of turbulent emotions surfacing. Grief still latched onto
him, she wondered what kept him mourning the past.

“Someone
held a gun to the back of my head. I felt the hammer cock, saw the two bodies
of my new friends lying in a pool of blood, their bodies moving until they
stilled. The air carried the thick smell of sulfur. The heavy cloud of death
surrounded me. I knew I was going to die but my body froze paralyzed by fear.
In the background I heard the laughter of the other thugs as they instructed my
best friend to pull the trigger already, no witnesses. The perfect gang
initiation, only the gun jammed. I knew I had a chance the moment I felt the metal
jerk and lock up. Instead of blowing my brains out, I lived. On the ground, I
heard their departing footsteps, boots running. Someone called the cops and an
ambulance came. I didn’t see who was holding my hand, giving me strength, but
after what seemed like forever, the sound of sirens joined the voice telling me
to hold on. A good Samaritan saved my life that night.”

Deja
tightened her arms around him, even though she knew no
amount of words would bring comfort to him.

“Patrick,
my ex best friend, the boy who shot me, showed up last night. The prison
released him early for good behavior and he had the audacity to come ask me for
forgiveness. I wanted to kill him so bad for robbing me of friends, a good
life, all the pain and suffering I went through to recover while he lived
unchanged except behind bars. I had the chance to pull the trigger myself and
failed to follow through.”

“How
old were you?” Her question came out in almost a whisper. She knew where his
bravery and his disability to trust stemmed from and fell in love with him
more. Her soul broke for him and the trials he must’ve went through to recover.

“Sixteen.”

“I
won’t ever forget the looks on my mother and step-father’s faces when I woke up
in recovery months later. They were there for every step of my recovery.
Physical and psychological.
I was an emotional mess.
Suicidal, angry.
I couldn’t talk right, feed myself, or
walk. I had to relearn everything as if I was a toddler but in an adolescent
body.”

“That
explains the attraction that kept me on edge when we met. You’ve overcome
obstacles any normal person would buckle under.”
Deja
smiled when he snorted and tightened his hold on her. He needed some of her wry
humor right then.

“I
thought you liked me for sexual reasons only.”

“That
was to keep you off guard. Sex was just a small part of my infatuation. How
long before you were able have a normal life again?”

“I
don’t think I ever was ‘normal’ after what happened. I spent a year in the
hospital, another in physical and speech rehab, had a few surgeries. My parents
had me homeschooled when I was able to learn at a more accelerated pace. Not
one part of the process was easy. Patrick stole years from my life, ones I
can’t get back.”

“How
did he find you?”

“My
ma told him where I was.”

“Why
would she—”
Deja
ran her hand over his chest, placing
kisses on him.

“I
think she wanted me to forgive him. He said she had.”

“Do
you believe him?”

“Yeah.
After my drinking problems, she pulled me aside to
tell me bitterness and hatred
were
poisoning my soul.
I just couldn’t see it.”

“Maybe
you’re looking at her motive the wrong way. Whatever her reasons are for
forgiveness are her own. Forgiving isn’t about him or his need, but about
yours. So you can move on. It’s not accepting an apology or righting a wrong.
However, an acknowledgement and choice to put your energy to better use than
rage.”

“My
mother is going to love you.
Kindred.
Ya’ll are alike
spirits. I’m not ready to forgive him. Last night was the first time I’d seen
him since that fatal night. The surrounding scents even returned. The smell of
death and fear, vomit, flashes of my dead friends. Feeling all of the same
emotions crashing down on me instantly is not something I ever want to happen
again. Once was bad enough, attempting to escape unscathed isn’t possible.”

“I’m
just glad you told me. I see things clearer now.
Your need to
control everything.
How you hold yourself away just
enough to not connect with others.
The way you
withdraw and remove yourself emotionally.
If anything I’m even more in
love with you now.”