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Authors: Sergio De La Pava

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Personae (14 page)

BOOK: Personae
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ADAM: I was thinking of more traditional weaponry but thanks. There are some thick branches nearby that can be shaved into spears. Linda and I will go gather…

LINDA: No.

ADAM: No what?

LINDA: No I’m not going anywhere.

NESTOR: Oh will you look at this Clarissa? Looks like you and I aren’t the only couple on the rocks.

ADAM: Linda a good idea transcends any interpersonal difficulties we might be having and I expect you to recognize one when you hear it.

NESTOR: A good idea he says.

CLARISSA: Do we need to remind you what happened the last time somebody left?

ADAM: Doesn’t mean it will happen again.

NESTOR: That’s true Clarissa. Besides, suicide is a legitimate option, cowardly but legitimate nevertheless.

ADAM: Suicide? I’m curious how you think this all-out warfare you counsel is going to occur if we don’t leave this room?

NESTOR: Is that your concern? Don’t let it be. The anger of epochal conflict is coming to us, right here, whether we’d have it or not.

(
Drums
sound
again,
louder.
)

See?

ADAM: Let me be frank Nestor.

NESTOR: No problem Frank.

ADAM: But being that you have our only gun you are in a wholly different position than the rest of us.

NESTOR: I’m upright like the rest of you.

LINDA: And don’t think we’re unaware of the rule that says that thing has to go off soon either.

NESTOR: Rules, conventions, norms! I feel such great envy right now. I fervently wish I had your collective astigmatism. Could see only the minutiae as the cosmic nears.

LINDA: Please, refract for us that we might clearly see your wisdom.

NESTOR: I fear that it is fear itself that approaches and what is occurring in this room presently is remotely causing it to grow more monstrous. Search inside yourselves and ask if you haven’t contributed your share.

CLARISSA: I fear then only that I’ve been a bad citizen of this body politic. For I have not contributed my just share. Because perhaps you’ll call it mere semantics but I give nothing that forms inside me the name Fear.

NESTOR: I didn’t intend to insult, only to forewarn and enlighten.

ADAM: Well I feel lighter already so I’m going to go now and get those spears, the heavier the better that I might acquire some density.

LINDA: It is a dense move.

ADAM: I trust then you’re not coming?

(
Linda
sits,
looks
down,
puts
her
face
in
her
hands.
)

CLARISSA: No one should go anywhere alone. No one should be alone. Ever really but especially not now… here.

ADAM: I won’t be alone.

LINDA: I’m not going.

ADAM: I understand.

NESTOR: Meaning that unless Clarissa is going to deposit her money where her mouth resides you
will
be alone.

ADAM: She won’t, but still I won’t be alone.

CLARISSA: If no one goes with you, Adam, you will not only
be
alone you will most likely
die
alone. Understand?

ADAM: I don’t expect any of you to understand; well there was a time I would’ve expected Linda… but never mind all that.

NESTOR: Understand
what
?

ADAM: That even when I’m the only person in motion I don’t feel alone.

LINDA: Stop Adam.

NESTOR: No our ears cry out for more! Explain.

ADAM: There’s more exists, Nestor, than that which feeds eyes or ears.

NESTOR: Is that so?

(
looks
at
others
mirthfully
)

ADAM: And it’s that presence will protect me as I venture out.

NESTOR: I see. I think that’s what Charles thought just before he lost his head.

ADAM: Since the Evil that did that undoubtedly exists there has to be a countervailing Good.

CLARISSA: Adam don’t go out there relying on that.

LINDA: Yes, she’s right, if you have to go then go but not propelled by that belief. That somehow makes it worse.

ADAM: It’s that belief that’s sustained us since time immemorial.

NESTOR: I see. He’s right then. He’s not going alone. Superstition’s going with him. Of course, superstition’s got a perfect record in these matters. In exultant victory we pause to credit her but in abject defeat we either ignore her or wonder how we failed to live up to her unknowable mandates. Either way those prone to belief never doubt her grace and power. Nice work if you can get it.

ADAM: I’m not relying on superstition.

NESTOR: Oh I know you don’t think you are, I’m just seeking to put a more accurate gloss on things.

CLARISSA: I wonder, Nestor, what we have to do to get you to go?

LINDA: Not
with
Adam but in his stead.

NESTOR: Ladies, please. Such murderous thoughts.

(
Drums
resume
)

Although I suppose they’re fitting.

ADAM: Well this has been great fun but I suspect that whatever’s coming will not pause for us to debate. And it won’t be spoken to, words will fall harmlessly aside. Now the pointed ends of spears? That might be a different matter so I’m going. And please don’t misinterpret. That statement is not intended as a solicitation of company or advice and definitely not of permission. Treat it for what it is, a mere courtesy borne out of affection which is itself most likely a product of mere presence.

LINDA: I’m coming with you.

ADAM: No.

LINDA: My place is by your side, alienated affections or not.

ADAM: No, I have to do this alone.

(
He
nears
the
exit.
)

I won’t say goodbye because I am definitely returning.

Goodbye.

(
He
leaves,
the
three
are
silent
.)

NESTOR: Let the record reflect that he did not go at anything remotely resembling my urging and if anything I could be said to have counseled against it.

(
silence
)

Truth is I didn’t think he had it in him or maybe I thought it was
in
him but never thought it would come out. I didn’t think it would come to term and he would give birth to it is what I’m saying. At most I thought a stillborn-type of…

LINDA: Enough! Please.

(
Nestor
takes
the
hint
without
offense
and
terminates
the
thread.
He
wanders
away
and
begins
a
safety
inspection,
examining
his
gun
and
the
sandbags
until
finally
resting
on
what
appears
to
be
a
telescope
of
sorts
that
affords
him
distant
views.
Clarissa
approaches
Linda
and
places
her
hand
on
her
shoulder
.)

CLARISSA: It’s not
impossible
he’ll return.

LINDA: That the best you could muster?

CLARISSA: (
laughs
morbidly
)

What do you think’ll happen?

LINDA: Don’t really care much anymore Clarissa. It’s what’s already happened haunts me. And the real tragedy is things never unhappen, know what I mean?

CLARISSA: Think so, yeah.

LINDA: We go through here once if at all and this is what I leave? Thought you could pick a moment in time and become a different person from that point forward. I don’t know what exactly I thought that would accomplish, but it seemed it might somehow render what happened before that moment prefatory in a way and therefore less relevant.

What I found of course is that the person attempting that is the same person from the preface. If it weren’t there’d be none of the hurt and no reason for the attempt in the first place. Link yourself to someone all you want. Yes, it will of necessity make you more selfless but it will not change who you are and even if it did it will not change what you’ve done. If what I’ve done will always remain, if I can’t undo what I’ve done, then I don’t want to
do
anymore.

CLARISSA: It only remains because you’re giving it life now with your thoughts. Every time you animate it in that manner it grows stronger. Be grateful for this matter of the highest urgency that now confronts us. Revel in the intensity of a moment like this. Not because intensity is salutary in and of itself but for the way it forecloses the kind of idle rumination regret thrives on.

LINDA: I can’t.

CLARISSA: You must. You have a potential other lifetime or two to live. Forfeit that potentiality and the one you’ve lived hardens into stone.

LINDA: Who’s forfeiting?

CLARISSA: Inaction here is a forfeiture. Right now we need to forge steel out of our wills. You say the cruelty that approaches is great? Then I say only greatness can oppose it.

LINDA: Opposition on behalf of whom? If you say my own I’ll respond that I choose to enter only a vocal demurrer. That a lifetime of opposing has worn me down to the nub and left me incapable of more. I’d further respond that acting as the sole stakeholder in the matter I’d be acting in a manner that’s unassailably proper.

CLARISSA: No, I assail it! I startle at your attempt to confine the matter to your likes and wishes. Can you similarly choose not to pedal on a two-person bike or fail to dip your oars as the clock ticks on you and your crewmates?

Do you deny we’re bound together if only by the fact that we’ve breathed this same air lo these many years? We are one now, even Nestor, and I can no more watch you concede than I can dispassionately watch my arm wither and die with confidence that it will not affect the rest of my body. I command you then, as I would that arm, to clench your hand into a fist that we might better fulfill the obligation of every living thing that draws breath and
fight
.

(
silence
)

LINDA: Okay.

CLARISSA: Nestor? What do you see?

NESTOR: I see him, he’s doing fine.

LINDA: You see him?

NESTOR: I see him. Well, I see the image that’s formed on my retinas when the relevant light encounters his body’s mass, if you want to call that
him
.

LINDA: Yeah I’m going to go ahead and do that.

NESTOR: Then that’s him all right. Come see.

LINDA: No, but he’s safe?

NESTOR: So far.

CLARISSA: And you’re sure it’s him?

NESTOR: Yup that’s good old Adam. (
pauses
) The man who created and operates this room.

LINDA: I’m sorry, the what?

 

NESTOR: No actually
I’m
sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken with such certitude. I forget sometimes to account for the uncommon way my mind works and I realize to you two it will seem like a theory only.

 

LINDA: Let’s hear it.

 

CLARISSA: Let’s not.

 

NESTOR: Which then?

 

LINDA: I insist.

 

NESTOR: In that case, Clarissa, I apologize in advance for any incidental overhearing. Addressing myself only to you Linda, I had my suspicions from the outset. I fault myself, however, because it appears I let my affections for the man dull my sensitivities to his wanton machinations.

 

CLARISSA: What in hell are you talking about?

 

NESTOR:
In
hell
I’m talking about many things that standing alone would fail to budge an eyebrow but that taken together form an ironclad indictment.

 

LINDA: Enough preamble then. Let’s, pray tell, hear the charges as you see them. The bill of particulars please.

 

NESTOR: Fair enough. Who of us was the last to arrive? And at a time when what seemed to be the ceaseless agony of this place had actually subsided and our surroundings were threatening to become habitable.

 

LINDA: So what?

 

NESTOR: So what did he do on arrival but start posing all sorts of unanswerable questions the indulging of which has led us to this woeful place?

 

CLARISSA: No. Questioning is good.

 

NESTOR: Really? Is violence good too? Because, I ask, who’s the only person here to have demonstrated any violence toward another?

 

(
Linda
and
Clarissa
look
at
each
other.
)

 

CLARISSA: We were all freaked out, Ludwig was suddenly Linda.

 

NESTOR: Where did the sword come from then?

 

LINDA: That
was
strange.

 

CLARISSA: So what it was strange? That was a long time ago and I’d say you two more than made up.

 

NESTOR: That’s for sure, he certainly threw everything he had into mending that fence. That is, until it no longer suited him.

 

LINDA: Wrong, I broke it off.

 

NESTOR: I’m sure it seemed that way to you and I won’t pretend to be privy to everything that transpired between you two but I
was
here when you offered to go with him and he declined.

 

LINDA: And?

 

NESTOR: And have you looked in a mirror lately? What uncalculating male would decline your company? Yet I’ve rarely seen a quicker cooling of an ardor.

 

CLARISSA: Except your hasty indictment leaves out all kinds of exculpatory material.

 

NESTOR: Like?

 

CLARISSA: Like fine he was last but since then he’s been with us every step of the way, experiencing everything we’ve experienced, subject to the same privations and penalties.

 

NESTOR: Has he? Because when Charles showed true courage and ventured out for our benefit he was partially returned within seconds. Adam on the other hand showed the lack of concern of a puppeteer and everything I see from that lens shows he was justified and knew it.

 

LINDA: So you’re saying he’s not coming back?

 

NESTOR: I wish. The king always returns, ask any pawn. The three of us will move our square at a time but understand that we are here primarily for sacrificing, like Charles, when the king deems it appropriate.

 

CLARISSA: For what reason though?

 

NESTOR: Because the last shall be first and the time fast approaches when the
last
to arrive will be the
first
to move everything forward. Adam indeed.

 

LINDA: What?

 

NESTOR: We’re being cleared like thistle and brush that a new form of vegetation may flourish. I suppose we can take some solace in the fact that we nurtured this being, albeit unwittingly, from unable-to-walk cripple to lordly first progenitor.

 

(
The
Drums
return,
loudest
they’ve
ever
been
.)

 

CLARISSA: Are you done?

 

NESTOR: Yes.

 

CLARISSA: Then I don’t buy it.

 

NESTOR: That’s okay, I’m very comfortable in the company of none. Or is it one?

 

(
They
look
at
Linda.
)

 

LINDA: I don’t know Clarissa. If Nestor’s right we’re going to be like a still life of sitting ducks when Adam returns.

 

CLARISSA: Listen excuse my bluntness because I esteemed Adam greatly but he’s not coming back and on some level we all know that.

 

LINDA: If that’s true then the decision evaporates. Question is what if he does return? Because if that happens I must say that everything Nestor just said is going to be at least in the back of my mind if not the front. At that point we could be like sheep welcoming back the wolf.

 

NESTOR: Even though the shepherd warned you.

 

CLARISSA: No excessive disrespect intended here Nestor, but you’ve got a long way to go to establish yourself as some kind of shepherd.

 

(
more
Drums
)

 

LINDA: Let’s just be wary is what I’m saying.

 

NESTOR: That’s all I’m saying.

 

CLARISSA: Believe you’ve said quite a bit more than that but okay I’ll be weary.

 

LINDA: No
wary
.

 

CLARISSA: That too.

 

(
The
power
goes
out
plunging
our
three
into
grievous
black.
A
few
seconds
later
it
returns
.)

 

LINDA: That was fun. Does anybody else almost
enjoy
electrifying terror?

 

NESTOR: You’re only enjoying it after the fact.

 

CLARISSA: Is it me or has this room gotten smaller?

 

(
it
has
)

 

LINDA: What’s going on out there?

 

(
Nestor
goes
to
the
telescope,
the
Drums
kick
up
again
but
with
a
slightly
different,
more
urgent
pattern.
)

 

NESTOR: He’s coming back, something’s in his hand. I think it’s a scepter.

 

CLARISSA: (
derisively
) A scepter? Obviously it’s a spear.

 

NESTOR: Spear? Where’d you get that?

 

CLARISSA: I got that from his statement that he was going to get a spear, a spear to protect us with. In other words he was telling the truth.

 

LINDA: Exactly.

 

NESTOR: I don’t like it. I don’t like the look in his eye, I don’t like this new drum pattern, I don’t like any of it.

 

LINDA: Will you stop? Your paranoia is really wearing.

 

NESTOR: I’m only wearing paranoia if I’m wrong, (
he
takes
hold
of
the
gun
and
cocks
it
) and I’m not going to wait and find out.

 

CLARISSA: What do you mean?

 

NESTOR: I mean that he walks in here with a scepter or a spear, basically anything other than a giant salami, and I’m going to put one between his eyes and we can sort it all out later.

 

CLARISSA: Absolutely not! Have you lost control of your faculties?

 

NESTOR: What? I should wait until he impales one of you to be absolutely sure?

 

LINDA: You need more… evidence.

 

NESTOR: Could it be more evident?

 

CLARISSA: He said he was going to get a spear and that he would return. If he returns and is carrying a spear where’s the inconsistency? Where’s the justification for shooting him?

 

NESTOR: How do you justify speaking of justification in a place like this?

 

CLARISSA: This place is what we’ve made it, only that, and the Just don’t frivolously conform to location.

 

LINDA: And if you think this place is bad now realize that if you capriciously spill blood onto it then this becomes a bloody place. One that won’t stop crying out for more of what it’s tasted until it becomes an unquenchable want.

 

NESTOR: The memories on you two, remarkable.

 

(
He
goes
to
the
telescope.
)

 

He’s almost here, still can’t tell between scepter or spear. You two can continue to rely on theoretical debate and its retorts, I’m going to keep my faith in gunpowder plus lead and its reports.

 

CLARISSA: That’s just it. It’s not theoretical. We’re telling you that we’re not going to allow you to kill one of our friends as he’s in the process of trying to rescue us. How much blunter can we be?

 

NESTOR: Don’t make this a
we
problem Clarissa, (
raising
the
gun
slightly
) this thing’s for between Adam’s eyes only but I will torch this entire place before naively receiving even a minor burn from him.

 

CLARISSA: Any bullet seeking him will of necessity have to travel through me.

 

(
She
stands
between
Nestor
and
the
area
Adam
exited
from
.
Nestor
lowers
the
gun
to
his
side.
The
Drums
resume,
they
are
close.
Nestor
raises
the
gun
again.
)

BOOK: Personae
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