Pieces of Lies (23 page)

I felt a little more relaxed. I really did need a friend, and with Tess, I finally felt I could open myself up, even if it was just a fraction. 

“You understand that you cannot repeat anything I’ve just told you right, about who I am?”

Tess nodded. “Norah, as soon as you said Rossi mob, everything you were telling me was instantly vaulted. I have seen and read bits and pieces of your father’s organization online. I’m no fool, and besides, we’re friends, real friends”.

I tilted my head and looked at her warmly. Instinctively I believed I could trust her. With some people, you just know.

“So now that I know who you really are, and that you know as much about cement shoes as you do Louboutins,” she smiled a cheeky smile.

“Tess…”

“What? Too soon for mob jokes?”

“Yes, but thank you for making light of the subject.” We both laughed, Tess grinning widely at me. I think she was finally happy to get some real insight into my personality. No doubt she had connected it to my paintings as well.

“OK, now let’s get down to the important stuff, this hot love triangle.”  She rubbed her hands together like it was the juiciest piece of gossip in the world.

“Tess, it’s far from hot.”

“Oh come on Norah. They are both smoking, and they both want you, desperately. That’s hot. And granted what they both did to you was really messed up, but love can be twisted, and its actions don’t always make sense, but just because it seems really messed up, it doesn’t mean that it’s any less real. I guess only you know if either of them are redeemable.”

My head swayed from side to side, “Yeah maybe.”

“What are your thoughts on Josh?” I looked around the room before giving my answer. I needed a moment to think.

“I care very much for Josh. I always have. I thought our friendship was changing into something more… until… until…,” and Tess filled in the rest of what I was trying to say, 

“You met Clint?”

I nodded again. “But I’m not sure if I can trust my own feelings, given I can be so easily side-swiped by the both of them.”

I started to tear at the napkin even more. Tess laughed.

“What?” I asked, and she pointed to the napkin.

“Doesn’t that kind of fidgety behavior mean you’re sexually frustrated?”

I dropped the napkin instantly. “I think I’m just frustrated in general. I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

Tess waved the tall, stocky waiter over again, “Well my friend, I’ve got the perfect solution for you right now, two more tequila shots.”

Chapter 17

Bad Choices?

Following up from the previous night’s liaison with alcohol, I continued the trend by popping a couple more bottles of wine and allowed them to air on my kitchen bench the next evening. My iPod was on shuffle, channeling music into all corners of my apartment, switching between
Let it Die
by
The Foo Fighters
to
Nirvana’s Lithium
to
Placebo’s Taste in Men
. I turned it up loud enough so it filled all the rooms with music. 

Bullet with Butterfly Wings
by the S
mashing Pumpkins
started to belt out. I began to dance in the middle of my lounge room, doing random head bangs as it pulsated through my body.
Fuck I love this song!
 

Finishing off a very tasty bottle of Grenache, I moved onto a really smooth bottle of Merlot, listening to
Longview
 by
Green Day
, when, between pauses in the music, I noticed there was knocking on my apartment door. 

I stumbled to and fro as a result of the wine, the tipsiness and my navy blue halter maxi-dress, making it hard to walk to the door in a straight line. My first thought was that Josh was back, and I tried to hurry to reach the door so I could see him as quickly as I could. However, my determination only slowed my movements, due to the weight of the alcohol churning my mind and making it almost impossible to think clearly enough to walk like a normal human being.

When I finally made it to the door, I stopped as a song by
Guns n’ Roses
began to play. I mumbled to myself, “figures” and continued my mission to try and turn the door knob. Expecting to see Josh, I was completely taken aback to see Clint standing before me. I was not at all prepared for this, especially in this state of mind. The belligerence in me forced out whatever came whooshing into my head. 

“Well, well, well, back on assignment I see.”

Clint’s face studied the fact I was holding onto the door to keep myself upright. 

“Are you drunk Norah?” 

What a stupid question.

“Of course not Clint, I’m perfectly fine,” and I let go of the door, about to fall flat faced to the ground, but Clint’s arms instinctively reached out and caught me.

“What are you listening to?”  

I giggled as he flung his arms around my shoulders and helped me back into the apartment.

“
November Rain
by
Guns n’ Roses.
Best. Song. Ever.” 

He sat me down onto my sofa and got down on his knees. His expression seemed focused. My shoulders swayed and Clint used his arms to steady me so he could look directly at my face.

“Norah I’m so sorry. I’ve come here to plead for your forgiveness and beg you to take me back. I know I deceived you, but you need to know that what I feel for you is real.”

I moved a little from side to side, still in his grip. “That’s just great Clint. Did the Lappell tell you to say that?”

He looked like I punched him. Good. I was throwing everything in my head at him and it wasn’t nice.

“I know it’s hard for you to believe me.”

I snarled, ignoring his attempt to try and explain and somehow blurted out, “I kissed Josh you know.”

What the hell was I saying
?

Clint let go of me and ran his fingers through his hair, “Yeah, I expected him to make a play for you after what went down.”

I shook my head furiously. “I was the one who instigated the kiss Clint.”

He didn’t move. “Did you two…”

I rolled my eyes, “Nooooooo.” I was hoping that I wouldn’t mention that I had basically offered myself up to Josh, but thankfully I wasn’t drunk enough to be completely crazy.

“I’m not sure if I should talk you while you are in this frame of mind Norah.”

I shot him a dirty look, “And what frame of mind is that? I’m telling you the truth, unlike you and your fake feelings.” I swayed a bit more, pointing my finger at him as I said it.

His hands slid onto my knees, “Nothing I said to you was fake. I have never felt like this before Norah. You are everything to me.”

“Pffftttt! Lappell propaganda!”

“Norah, no, no no.”

“C’mon Clint. How can I really tell if you are being honest? I mean you were lying to me from the beginning about really liking me, and now I understand why you were being so nosy about my personal life. You wanted to know why your club wanted me so badly. Fuck I’m stupid. It didn’t even occur to me. I mean even with your prying, you still managed to get me to fall in…” I forced my lips to stop moving.

Clint grabbed me, his hands urgent, “Norah, do you still love me?”

I went quiet, trying to prevent the truth from escaping my mouth. His hands moved to my hips, “If you don’t love me, then tell me right now.”

I pushed his hands away and tried to stand up, ignoring the question completely. “What are you doing here Clint?” I swayed side to side and Clint sat me back down again.

“I couldn’t bear to be away from you. I know I screwed things up, but I want to tell you something.”

I stared at his beautiful blue eyes and then turned away, not wanting to succumb to other feelings, “What’s that Clint? What could you possibly tell me that will make me believe anything you have to say?”

He put his hand over the top of mine. “I’m buying our way out of the Lappell. My trust fund, they’ve agreed to let us be if I sign it over to them.”

My head started to spin. “Your trust fund. All your money. C’mon Clint, are you seriously going to do that? For me? No, no way, you’re lying.” 

I felt other feelings starting to push through; soft, warm feelings of want and need as I focused on his face. I could see he was being genuine, even through the alcohol.

“You cannot give up your future for me, that’s all your money. Nope, no, I won’t let you do that.”

Clint shook his head, “You don’t have a choice. It’s just money Norah.”

I stilled, staring at him. “You would really give all that up for me?”

I was shocked by what he was saying, and he leapt towards me, his arms around my waist, “Lenorah, I would do anything for you. What’s the point of having all that money if I don’t have you?”

My body went from being tense to responsive to his touch. “Clint, I don’t know what to say.” My head started to spin again from the alcohol, I really wasn’t thinking clearly. “You cannot do this, I won’t let you. I don’t need to be saved.”

He pulled me even closer, “I’m not trying to save you Norah, I’m trying to show you that my love is real and that nothing matters to me but you.” His eyes were piercing mine and I succumbed to his words, totally overwhelmed with his grand romantic gesture, believing everything he was saying and allowing my heart to completely cave in to the moment.

“Oh Clint.” I leapt for him, kissing him like mad, the alcohol and my need for him taking over. I believed every word he said and I wanted him, desperately.

“Oh Norah, I’ve missed you.”

I didn’t respond. I was too busy unbuttoning his shirt, his jeans, stripping him bare. Mixed emotions fuelled my desire. He undid the halter tie that held up my maxi-dress, which then fell to my feet, leaving me in nothing except white cotton panties.
Blister in the Sun  
by the
Violent Femmes
began to play, and I grabbed at Clint, even more excited.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked me.

All I could feel was our bodies ready to pounce on one another. “Yes, I’m sure.”

He picked me up, my legs hooked around his waist, our faces lost in one another. As we continued to kiss passionately, he carried me to my bedroom.

“I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you Norah. Your body, your mind, even the way you look at me makes me crazy. I can barely comprehend the level of need I feel for you. You have completely possessed me in a way I never knew was possible.” Clint stood over me on the bed as I lay in my panties, rolling around in fits of giggles. I stopped giggling and got up on all fours, staring at him, my smile changing to a sneaky grin. I bit my lip.

“How can a girl look so innocent and so hot at the same time?”

I bit my lip even more as he watched me. Clint climbed into the bed and got behind me so he could stroke my hair and then my shoulders and then he pulled at my panties. I arched my back towards him, wanting his hands to go under the white cotton. I could feel them getting damp. His hands moved up and down over my hips and then he quickly turned my body over so I was on my back. Finally, he started to gently pull my panties down my legs. “Tell me you love me Norah, tell me you’ll always be mine.”

I shook my head, “I can’t do that Clint. Not right now. So no more talking tonight.”

Clint's expression instantly fell, so I reached up to his face. “I want you, inside me. We can be one for the moment. Can’t that be enough right now?” I smiled a naughty smile at him, my alcohol-driven thoughts returning, “Don’t you want to give me what I want Clint? Don’t you want to touch me?” I grabbed his hand and pulled it in between my legs where I was wet and ready. His eyes almost exploded out of his face, watching my inhibitions go completely out the window. “Give it to me over, and over, and over again. Make me beg you to stop. Show me just how much you want me Clint. Give it to me hard. Make me never forget.” I returned to biting my lip.

Clint was speechless, his sad expression replaced by fire in his eyes. My words had clearly excited him beyond his control. “Norah, you are not just the girl I want to marry but you’re my every aching desire.” Clint attacked every bit of my body with frenzied passion.

All I could say was, “Yes! Yes! Fuck me! More!”

Wait… did he say marriage?

My head started to throb as dawn appeared through my bedroom window. My room was fuzzy as I tried to open my eyes. I felt arms and legs around me.
What the?
I twisted myself around. It was Clint spooning me. I sighed to myself. What did I let myself do? Pieces of the evening started to flash in my head.
Guns n’ Roses
, having sex over and over again,
oh dear God
, telling Clint I kissed Josh,
fuck
; and something about a trust fund. Trust fund? My eyes bulged from the memory. Clint is signing over his trust fund to the Lappell for me.
Oh my god.
I couldn’t let him do that, it wasn’t right. I wasn’t even completely sure how I felt about him. 

I needed to get out of the apartment and clear my head. I threw on the closest pair of jeans I could find, a tight black T-shirt and took my emerald green pea coat, and while Clint still slept, I headed to the elevator. My head was still a bit hazy so I decided to go for a walk in the park across the road from my apartment. It was close to dawn but there was still the eeriness of darkness just before the sun came up. The cool air smashed into me, giving me a huge punch of soberness as I exited the building.

Hugging myself, I walked and let the fresh air rejuvenate me and clear my mind. I had to assess the night’s events properly because I knew that going back to the apartment, Clint would have questions that he would want answers to. I sighed heavily as fragments of the night pieced themselves together. 

My first recollection was the sex and how I hungrily accepted Clint into my bed. Was it a mistake? Did it mean anything? How do I feel? Questions pounded my consciousness as I assessed my choices from the evening. I had consumed too much alcohol, poor choice number one. I allowed Clint to talk to me while I was drunk, poor choice number two. Telling Clint that I kissed Josh. Was I trying to get Josh killed? I shook my head at my stupidity.
Damn you alcohol – you are not my friend!