Authors: Robert J. Wagner

Pieces of My Heart (35 page)

BOOK: Pieces of My Heart

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If somebody had told me sixty years ago what my life was going to be like and had enumerated the terrible pain I had waiting for me, I would have gone ahead anyway. Because, along with that pain, I’ve experienced great joy, and I’d like to think that I’ve given some as well.

In many respects, I remain pretty much as I was. That little boy who basked at being the center of the photographer’s attention at the preview of
The Biscuit Eater
became a man who needed attention and could get disappointed if he didn’t get it. In other words, I had the essential personality of the actor—wanting,
needing
a reaction—before I became an actor. Another character flaw is a plethora of optimism, which can mean I sometimes lack objectivity. In my own defense, I should say that I’ve become more realistic as I’ve grown older.

I look around me and see so many wonderful actors. Johnny Depp is probably the best one working these days—the face of a leading man and the soul of a character actor, which is probably the ideal combination. And I think that Brad Pitt is, for some reason, very underrated. He’s very simple, very basic, and you never catch him acting.

Recently I went out to the Motion Picture Home to visit Helena Sorrell, my first dramatic coach. She’s 104 years old and still pretty sharp. She was in the Audrey Hepburn Room in the hospital, and it was lovely—the sun was coming in, and it was Edie Wasserman’s birthday. Every year, on Edie’s birthday, she goes out to the Motion Picture Home, and everybody there gets wonderful food catered by Alex’s, which has all the recipes from Chasen’s—the chili, the hobo steak, and everything else.

“Do you like it here, Helena?” I asked her.

“No,” she said, “I don’t.”

Helena gave so much to so many people, myself among them, and she ended up alone. So many people end up alone, and for what must be the millionth time, I realized how lucky I’ve been.

No, not just lucky.
Blessed.
I have a wonderful family and true friends. I never walked away from my own life, like so many people in show business do, and I’ve worked hard, but as I sit looking out over the valley in Aspen, I feel gratitude for my life and think,
Am I the luckiest man on earth?

As much as I loved the house in Brentwood, I simply didn’t need seven bedrooms and a cottage anymore, so in 2007 we sold it for an astonishing price. I’m not going to pretend it was easy; Jill and I had been married in the garden, as had Natasha, Katie, and Peter Donen. We had a hundred parties there over the years, and when I looked out over the expanse of lawn and trees, I could see my mother, Jill’s mother, Roddy McDowall, Howard Jeffrey, Peter Donen, Bill Storke, Watson Webb, and dozens of other dear friends who had brightened our lives in that house.

But it was time.

Now Jill and I spend most of our time in Aspen, although we retain a condo in Los Angeles.

My children are all well and happy in their lives, and recently Katie and her husband, Leif Lewis, gave me a spectacular gift: my first grandchild, a boy named Riley John—yet another RJ! I’ve maintained my health and seen and done a lot.

Show business has been my college and my doctoral program. I’ve met queens and kings, seen America and the world. Years ago, Jimmy Stewart got me involved in the Jimmy Stewart Relay Marathon for the Child Care Center at St. John’s Hospital. When Jimmy died, his will made me a founder for the hospital, and my continuing work for them and the John Tracy Clinic has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

For my family, the goal was to go to college, but I rolled the dice and opted to go to work; I like to think that I’ve grabbed hold of life and shaken it. If some of it blew into my eyes, well, that’s called being alive.

When my time comes, I will be buried in Aspen, in an old cemetery that was originally laid out in the nineteenth century. A lot of children are buried there, and it’s in the middle of a glade of aspen and birch trees—very wild and overgrown. As soon as someone is laid to rest, the land is allowed to return to its natural state. The cemetery looks out over the valley, and deer and elk walk through it all the time. Sometimes you’ll notice a large patch of grass crunched down, and you realize that a bear has been sleeping there after dining on the berries that grow wild in the middle of the cemetery. It’s absolutely pure and totally peaceful.

I have four plots in the cemetery, and Jill and my beloved shepherd Larry will be buried with me. And any of the kids who want to be with us. Things change in children’s lives, and I’ll be fine with whatever they decide. It will be a peaceful place for them to come and pay their respects. They won’t have to bring flowers—just some seed, so that the birds and flowers will arrive every spring and enable me to once again be surrounded by life.

I hope that the site enables them to appreciate their father, and, beyond that, reminds them of the beautiful confirmation of life itself.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Some of the following people have gone ahead, some are still here, but all of them have earned my devotion many times over. You have my thanks and my love, and anyone I may have inadvertently overlooked has my apologies.

Brian Estabrook; Merv Adelson; Bud and Cynthia Yorkin; Mike and Mary Lou Connors; David and Gloria Wolper; John Ma; Robb Baxter; Frank and Gloria Westmore; Dick and Margaret Michaels Fleming; Bob and Sandy Papazian; Blake and Julie Edwards; Paul Rudnick; Tom Mankiewicz; Alan Nierob; Arthur Malin; Ron Shelton; Jim and Judy Hirsh; Mart Crowley; Howard Jeffrey; Sister Marie Madeline; Roddy McDowell; George Hamilton; Lon and Manu Bentley; Grant and Brook Tinker; Leo Ziffren; Arthur and Regina Loew Jr.; Tom Todderof; Guy McElwaine; Don Johnson; George Segal; Lionel and Stephana Stander; Watson Webb; Paul Ziffren; Bill Storke; Richard Widmark; Dionisio Munoz; Greg Barnett; Stymie; Harold and Sandra Guskin; Joe Barrato; Tony and Sue Morris; Bill Smith; Steve and Elaine Wynn; Quincy Jones; Tom Ulmer; Peggy Griffin; B. J. Jiras; Ted Bell; Ernie and Marlene Vossler; Gil Cates; David Marlow; Jaclyn Smith; Randy Ringger; Ed Marrins; Bob and Nancy Magoon; Jack and Marisia Silverman; David Niven Jr.; Delphine Mann; Perry and Abby Leff; Veronique and Greg Peck; Jamie Niven; Barbara Sinatra; Jason and Amanda Bateman; Bob Bennett; Ray and Wendy Austin; Jim and Pat Mahoney; Larry Auerbach; Linda Marshall; Bill and Terry Hickey; Little Joe Torrenueva; Sue Block; Fred Gibbons; Jimmy Borges; Dotty Gagliano; Dick Butera; Joe Pantoliano; Wendell and Nell Niles; Dick Clayton; Leslie and Evie Bricusse; Alan Folsom; Sydney Chaplin; Bernie Yumans; Irving Brecher; Pat Newcomb; Nancy Sinatra Sr.; Russ and Karen Goldsmith; Jill Donahue; Nikki Haskell; Jerry Ohrbach; Lazslo George; Michelle and Giuseppe Torroni; Robert Osborne; Helen and Gene Offut; Tony and Cristina Thomopoulos; Agnes Gund; Steven and Elvia Goldberg; Chuck and Lori Binder; Woody Stuart; Russell Chatham; Patricia Moore; Howard Curtis; Larry Manetti; Elizabeth Pepke; Marcy and Leo Edelstein; Jeff Pogliano; Fabian and Fritz Benedict; Woody Stuart; Bernard Lochner; Jack Frey; Harvey Eisenberg; Lew Ayres; Elia Kazan; Mort and Linda Janklow; Alex March; Geri Bauer; Sid and Jane Harmon; Bill and Peggy Ruser; Jimmy Stewart; Bill Wilson; Steve and Edie Lawrence; Dick Powell; Bob Greene; Jimmy Cagney; Walter and Fieldsie Lang; Kelly Ripa; Mike Myers; Jane Russell; John Linden; Roy Palms; Elizabeth Applegate; Clark Gable; Angela Thornton; Dick and Dolly Martin; John Ziffren; Irene Ma; Gloria DeHaven; Jim Bailey; Roy Stork; Cheryl O’Neal; Jerry and Ann Moss; Fred Astaire; Lew Spence; Tom Selleck; Ray Smalls; Dick Zanuck; Conrad Stoddinger; Cubby and Dana Broccoli; Bob Conrad; Dorothy Lamour; Rosemary Stack; Dan Dailey; Holland Taylor; Alan and Cindra Ladd Jr.; Ella Fitzgerald; Peggy Lee; Bill Shatner; Chita Rivera; Rory Calhoun; Ken and Pauline Annakin; Tom Poston & Suzanne Pleshette; Stefanie Powers; Tony Curtis; Billy and Audrey Wilder; Florence Henderson; Jennifer Stander; Margareta Sierra; Kate Hepburn; Charlie Barron; Andy Williams; Gloria Puentes; Suzy Tracy; Willie Mae Worthen; Jane Withers; Dick Williams; Elizabeth Taylor; Burt Lancaster; Gene, Dorothea, and Barbara Rodney; Jane and Dick Moore; Laurence Olivier; Barbara Lawrence; Sandy Koufax; Sonja Fitzpatrick; Gloria Swanson; Howard Keel; Roland Kibbee; Debbie Reynolds; Stewart Stern; Peter Lawford; Lennie Gershe; Ron Macanally; Marisa Ma; Judy Garland; Lew and Edie Wasserman; Rosalind Russell; Tommy LaSorda; Martha Luttrell; Eric Calderon; Maureen Stapleton; Jonathan Ma; Susan Zanuck; Ruben and Maria Agular; David Walsh; Senta Berger; Faith Ford; Steve DeMarco; Roger Moore; George Folsey; Kevin Costner; Lawrence Rudolph; Sam Pryor; George Kirvey; Paul Kleinbaum; Mortimer and Caroline Adler; David Capel; Malachi Throne; Ronnie Rondell; Howard Curtis; Sylvia Sidney; Mary and Dick Sale; Larry Stein; Barbara Rush; Leonard Pennario; Terri Garr; Sharon Gless; Anne and Terry Jastrow; June Allyson; Newton Brantley; J. Stanley Anderson; Melinda Markey; Gloria Lloyd; Carol Lee Ladd; Cary Grant; Claudette Colbert; Nancy Nelson; Louise Fletcher; Glen Larson; Nick Adams; Robert Ward; Abie Bain; Dick Crockett; Susan Schlundt; Susan Saint James; Angie Dickinson; Kirk and Anne Douglas; Charlie Callas; Bob Webb; Dr. Zeus; Bill Brant; John Derek; Debbie Reynolds; Paul and Joanne Newman; Jim Garner; Noel Clarbut; Jeff Hunter; Terry Moore; Flo Allen; Scott Dolginow; Nancy Nelson; Sidney and Caroline Kimmel; Abe Lastfogel; Joe Schoenfeld; Bob Jacks; Sophia Loren; Uncle Joe and Aunt Adair; Jean Leon; Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas; Judy Vossler; Stanley Wilson; Judy Shepherd; Vittorio de Sica; Darrylin Zanuck; Jane Smith; Samantha Smith; Sydney Guilaroff.

And my literary collaborator, Scott Eyman, who gracefully drew me back to places both dark and light. I’m glad we made the trip together, my friend.

About the Authors

R
OBERT
J. W
AGNER
has been active in Hollywood for more than five decades and has starred in such films as
A Kiss Before Dying, The Longest Day, The Pink Panther,
and, most recently, the Austin Powers movies. On television, Wagner also starred in three long-running series,
It Takes a Thief
(with Fred Astaire),
Switch
(with Eddie Albert and Sharon Gless), and
Hart to Hart
(with Stefanie Powers). He is currently featured on
Two and a Half Men
. Wagner is married to actress Jill St. John and lives in Los Angeles.

S
COTT
E
YMAN
is the books editor of the
Palm Beach Post
and the author of nine books about the movies. The
Wall Street Journal
called his most recent biography,
Lion of Hollywood: The Life of Louis B. Mayer
, “one of the five best books ever written about Hollywood.” He and his wife live in West Palm Beach, Florida.

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Credits

Jacket design by Ervin Serrano

Jacket photograph courtesy of the author

Copyright

PIECES OF MY HEART
. Copyright © 2008 by Robert J. Wagner. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Mobipocket Reader August 2008 ISBN 978-0-06-170584-7

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