Pieces of Paisley (42 page)
He flips me over and enters me from behind. He brings one hand to rub my clit, and I know he is barely hanging on, the speed and pressure of his thrusts are getting faster and harder. “Look at me, Paisley,” he commands of me.
I look at him over my shoulder and watch him work his body bringing me the ultimate pressure. Removing his dick completely from me, I whimper but he quickly thrusts his finger in and coats it with my juices. He is filling me deeply with his cock and rimming his finger around my asshole. He barely rims the hole and I feel the tingling starting in my toes. Once I start clenching around him and screaming his name, he pushes his finger in me and pounds into me a few more times before he roars his release. Completely wrecked I fall face first on the bed and feel his lips and hands across my back, shoulder blades, and all the way down my legs. “I love you, beautiful.”
“I love you, Jake. You fucking shattered me tonight.”
“My pleasure, beautiful. Sleep now.” He rolls me over and drags me across the bed so I am up against his side with no room between us. “This is so much better than a fucking picture.”
Waking up to my husband is a new feeling, and one I don’t think I will get used to. I am studying his features, committing each new line to memory. There is a knock on our door and he groans, “At least we had last night.” Laura is eagerly awaiting me at the door. She wants to make sure we are all packed and ready to go home. After a quick breakfast and shower we are all headed to the airport. I have arranged for Marcus to sell my car and whatever else I need, there are stores in Kansas. Laura keeps us entertained with what she expects out of her new family and finally the last few days catch up with her and she dozes off.
“What’s wrong? You are as fidgety as I have ever seen you?” He knows me so well. I don’t know how to broach the subject. “Talk to me. I can’t fix it if I don’t’ know, Pais.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but how is Lisa going to be with her calling me Mommy?” I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the love she is showering on me, but I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot.
“I promise it will be fine. Lisa and Mick were very aware of these plans. We have all come a long way since the beginning. It was definitely a learning experience, but we all want what is best for her, and the more people that love her the better her life will be.”
“I am kind of nervous about how I will fit in your life. I don’t have a job, I don’t know if I can do some freelance campaigns from home.”
“You don’t ‘fit in’ to my life, you are a part of my life. Simple as that. You can work or not. I would prefer you be home with the kids, but we can figure out stuff as it comes up. Baby, I am financially secure, and we will be fine. I am not Donald Trump, but we aren’t destitute.”
“Jake, I have my own money. I have worked hard and been compensated well.” I am expecting a fight about this.
“Use it how you want, but I take care of you and the kids. No discussion on this, Paisley.” That was better than I thought.
“Okay. I know I will be busy for a bit settling in, and I have to find a doctor and learn everyone’s routine.”
“Stop worrying, I promise you it will be fine.” I relax and believe in his words.
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Six months later
I was an amateur at this parenting thing. Laura can work me and get whatever she wants. Jake has had to step in and curtail her demands. Mick made me feel better telling me she does the same thing with him. He said she likes to do the divide and conquer thing, then find the weak link. Lisa just laughed and said there is never one way to do things. This transition has been easier than I thought. Lisa was relatively okay with Laura calling me Mommy, which still shocks me. They have their own relationship, and Laura loves everyone.
Finding out we were having a girl was a magical moment. Jake was ecstatic, another girl to spoil and love. Then he started groaning when he realized it was another female to protect. Our home is perfect. I had to make no changes except to the kitchen. Seriously whoever designs kitchens does not take into consideration that not everyone is the Jolly Green Giant and nothing irritates me more than not being able to reach things. Seeing the focal point of our living room floored me. He had taken my once treasured wall piece, and had it made into a huge wooden sign with that poem, ‘Loving A Sailor.’
Creativity and shower sex has become the norm for us. Laura splits her time with us, and the times we don’t have her I am catching up on sleep. She is one bundle of energy, and I need to find her off switch. Jake just laughs at me and tells me it will only get worse when we have two. I finally realize it is easier to trust in him, he told me everything would be fine, and it really is. Better than fine, actually.
Chapter 49
Jake
Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
Seeing her swell with our child is one of the sexiest things I have ever witnessed. She has adapted to motherhood and family life like she was born for it, which is exactly what I knew would happen. Deciding not to go back to work was what was best for our family, and she still consults with Wayne on some marketing campaigns, and it helps her feel needed independent. Today is the day we will meet our newest addition. We have been in this room for the last six hours and she is almost ready to push.
I am a nervous wreck, we are experiencing this together, and I can’t even reassure her. “Jake, for once I can be the voice of reason. Women have been birthing babies for centuries. This is nothing new.”
“It is for me. This is the first one my woman has birthed and if one more person comes in here and looks at what is mine, I will lose my shit.”
“All part of the process, babe.”
“Fuck the process, Paisley. Couldn’t you have picked a female doctor?”
“I did Mr. Overbearing. She isn’t on call today. Tell your impatient daughter she should have waited.” I decide right now to follow the rule of ‘Silence is Golden’ because she is getting uncomfortable, and that doesn’t give me the euphoric feeling I crave. It can get downright scary. Right then another doctor or nurse comes in and sticks his fucking hands up inside my wife, and I count to ten, and then twenty to calm myself.
“Okay, Mrs. Grant, time to start pushing.” That’s right dickhead . . .
Mrs. Grant.
Paisley rolls her gorgeous eyes at me and grabs my hand. The same hand I think is broken, but that happened pre-epidural. “Ready?” She already has unshed tears in her eyes.
I bring her hand up to my mouth and kiss her knuckles. “Ready, beautiful.” After countless pushes and cuss words, some I am sure she made up along the way, our little girl is screaming and being weighed and cleaned. The nurse places her in Paisley’s arms, and I commit this image to my memory. It is one I never want to forget. I can’t take my eyes off them and silently dry my face. Her hair is sparse but dark in color, but she has her mom’s features.
“Morgan Kristan Grant, you ready to meet your father?” Paisley kisses her head and hands her to me. I take her easily and am quickly mesmerized with this piece of Paisley and me. The best pieces of us. “Wow,” I hear her whisper.
“What?” She is wiping her cheeks.
“The day you told me you would cradle our baby with the same arms you hold me with . . . I tried visualizing you holding our baby. Seeing the real thing is incredible and tops what my mind made up. I am more in love with you today than I was then.” She humbles me. She grounds me, and she fucking completes me.
We don’t have much time before Laura makes her way into the room and announces that she has the prettiest sister, and that she will always take care of her. This is when you know you have done something right in your life; when the best pieces of you continue to grow and be better people than you could have ever hoped for. I look over at my family and Paisley mouths, “Endless. Our love is endless.”
Playlist for Pieces of Paisley
Amazed Lonestar
Girl In A Country Song Maddie & Tae
Best Days Of Your Life Kellie Pickler
Hard To Love Lee Brice
Blurry Puddle of Mudd
God Bless The USA Lee Greenwood
Fall Clay Walker
I Wish I Could Break Your Heart Cassadee Pope
Learn My Lesson Daughtry
Cross My Heart George Strait
Just Don’t Bite It NWA
Smile Lonestar
I Miss When Lonestar
All I Really Want Alanis Morissette
So What Pink
Goodbye To You Michelle Branch
First Time Lifehouse
Never Let Her Go Florida Georgia Line
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla Ice
What Might Have Been Little Texas
Here Comes Goodbye Rascal Flatts
Tenerife Sea Ed Sheeran
Acknowledgements
This never gets easier . . . First, all the readers for taking a chance on me. I am an avid reader myself and never doubt the healing powers of a good book.
My betas- This was my first time using them and it made the process so much more enjoyable, and the laughter was music to me. In no particular order (except alphabetical):
Amanda Miller- From Not Enough to allowing me to use the name Paisley (shut up Paul) I value your friendship, wisdom and guidance. You will forever be a cherished friend.
Danielle Bolme- I can’t even remember when we met, but since then you have been a constant support and I appreciate all the time you take for me and the friendship that was gained, is irreplaceable. I am glad you finally got your book boyfriend.
Ebbie Moresco- Your notes were priceless and helped the growth of this book. I can’t tell you the smile I had on my face every time I got a message from you; you never doubted me and I thank you for that.
Helena Rizzuto- Thank you for jumping on my crazy train. I know NE will always be your love, but the way you embraced me and my writing, I heart you!
Jen Wildner- You complete me . . . from our texts, bitch sessions (teenagers suck), laughter and your faith in me to succeed. I love you asshole!
Jeneane Johnston- I love being your $2 whore… really, I do. Thank you for the support and words of encouragement and love for POP. You finally got your name in a book!
Kristen Geist- You have given me a love for shoes that I would have never found- and HFS has become my motto. From you laughing at my Facebook banner begging for reviews our relationship grew and I know without a doubt I can count on you and that means the world!
Stephie Walls- What can I say about you . . . FLOVE! I still can’t believe someone as talented as you will read my words and actually enjoy them. We will always have Writercation 2014!
Terri Sullivan- Our chats and smart ass statuses crack me up. Your generous heart makes you an incredible and special person and I am thankful to have you in my life. You even offered to drive down to take care of me when my clumsy ass fell into a bookshelf.
Yolanda March- You took a chance on me and encouraged me. You have so many ideas for my success and it is surreal to me. Thank you for loving POP and all your ideas.