Plain Peace (A Daughters of the Promise Novel) (7 page)

He yelled again, picked up the pace even more, and Anna held on for dear life as the buggy hit a rut in the road. She bounced in her seat, but Jacob didn’t seem to notice, his eyes focused on the road in front of them. As the horse’s speed increased, so did the flurry of dust beneath its hooves, and after a taste of it, Anna kept her mouth clamped shut. She wasn’t sure she’d ridden this fast in a buggy before.

A few minutes later Jacob slowed the buggy in front of his house. It didn’t look much different from when the Zooks lived there, except that Lena and her daughters had always kept the flowerbeds plush with greenery and flowers. Jacob’s mother and sisters must not have had time to tend to them yet.

“What’s wrong?” Jacob jumped out of the buggy as soon as it was stopped and ran toward the little boy who stood in front. “Abe, what is it? What’s wrong with Eli?”

The boy glanced at Anna, his face wet with tears, then back at Jacob. “Who’s that?”

“That’s Anna. Now what’s wrong with Eli?” Jacob grabbed the boy by his shoulders. “Where is he?”

They waited, but Abe just shrugged.

“Never mind.” Jacob let go of the boy and glanced at Anna. “I’ll be back.” Then he bolted toward the house and took the porch steps two at a time. Anna stepped out of the buggy and walked around to where Abe was standing.

“Anything I can do to help?” She extended her hand to him. “I’m Anna.”

He hesitated, then latched on. “I’m Abe.” He let go quickly, then rubbed his nose. “I don’t think there’s nothin’ you can do.” He dashed around her, up the porch steps, and into the house. He couldn’t have been more than six or seven.

Feeling awkward, she sat back down on the passenger seat in the buggy and chewed on one of her fingernails. She jumped when she heard Jacob’s cell phone ringing next to her on the seat. Glancing down, she saw the name
Carolyn
.

Eli sat crouched in the corner of the living room, covering his face with his hands. Shards of glass and pieces of a broken lantern surrounded him, and his left hand was covered in blood. Their mother was crouched near her son, but she wasn’t touching him.

“I can’t find your father,”
Mamm
whispered, shaking her head. “And he screams when I get too close to him.”

Jacob turned toward the door as his youngest brother burst in. “Abe, go upstairs.” Jacob waved a hand toward the stairs. “Go on, now. Do as I say.”

Abe hesitated, then darted up the stairs. Jacob edged a little closer to Eli. “Where are Anna Mae and Mary Jane?” he asked his mother.

“They left awhile ago to pick berries.”
Mamm
shrugged, swiping at her eyes. “They should have been back by now.” She took a couple of steps toward Eli. “Eli, let me just clean this glass up, and I’ll make you—”

“Get away from me!” Eli didn’t look up as he yelled. Their mother stepped back and looked at Jacob. “What should we do?” she mouthed.

Jacob stood taller and spoke firmly. “Eli, you’ve cut your hand, and
Mamm
needs to tend to it. I’ll clean up this glass.”

“Go away, Jacob!” Eli brought his knees to his chest and buried his head, his bloodstained hands wrapped around himself. “It should have been me! I should have been the one who died, not Leah.” Eli’s shoulders shook as he sobbed, and he looked much younger than his twelve years.

Jacob eased toward Eli and squatted in front of him. He spoke softly. “
Nee
, Eli. That’s not true.” He touched his brother lightly on the arm. “It was God’s will what happened to Leah.” Jacob
cringed, knowing how many times he had questioned the Lord’s will over the past year. He knew it was even harder for Eli to understand the reasoning behind their sister’s death. “
Mamm
needs to tend to your hand.”

Eli lifted his head, his bottom lip trembling, his nose and cheeks bright red. “I was always the one on that side of the plow. Leah only took over because I was tired.”

Jacob swallowed back a lump in his throat as he stared into his brother’s eyes. “
Nee
, Eli. Things happen according to God’s plan, not ours. God numbers our days. It was Leah’s time.” Even as he spoke the words, he had trouble believing them. “Now, you let
Mamm
tend to your hand.” He reached for Eli’s hand, and after a quick inspection, he could tell it wouldn’t need stitches.

“
Daed
hates me. That’s why he’s never around.” A tear rolled down Eli’s cheek as Jacob accepted a wet rag from his mother and began dabbing the cut. For the first time, he had an urge to punch his father.

“That’s not true.”
Mamm
stepped closer, but Eli kept his eyes on Jacob’s, waiting for a response.

“
Mamm’s
right. That’s not true.
Daed
feels responsible for Leah’s death, like you do.” Jacob paused, wondering if in some way each one of them felt responsible. Jacob knew he did. When she slipped, he’d been the one closest to her. Why hadn’t he moved quicker and latched onto her arm? “And both of you are wrong. You can’t carry that false burden, Eli. It isn’t right.”

“Then why is
Daed
doing it?” Eli cringed as Jacob finished wiping blood from his hand. Jacob didn’t have an answer for his brother.

“Come on. Get up so we can clean this glass up.” He glanced around the area. “What happened, anyway?”

Eli hung his head and spoke in a whisper. “I got mad and threw it down.”

Jacob let out a heavy sigh. “Well, at least it wasn’t lit.” He stood up, offered Eli a hand, and pulled him to his feet. “Go on upstairs. I’ll clean this up.”

“Where’s your friend? Is she still waiting outside?”
Mamm
had left and returned with a broom and dustpan. She started sweeping the glass into a pile, still sniffling. Jacob couldn’t remember seeing his mother cry before Leah’s death. Now it seemed that everything caused her to weep. Knowing he should be sensitive to that, he still spoke harshly to her.

“
Ya, Mamm
. She’s outside. Would you have wanted me to bring her in to see this?” Jacob put his hands on his hips. “And where is
Daed,
anyway? Guess he isn’t
resting
. Where is he?”

Mamm
squatted and scooped the broken glass into the dustpan, shaking her head. “I don’t know.”

Jacob was quiet for a few moments as he watched a tear roll down his mother’s cheek. “Do you want me to stay? Are you gonna be all right?”

“Nee, nee.”
She stood up. “I’ll be fine. You go be with your friend. I shouldn’t have called, but . . .” She pulled a tissue from her apron pocket and dabbed at her eyes. “But Eli was yelling, and I was worried he’d hurt himself even more.”

Jacob nodded. At twelve, Eli was as big as their mother—hard for her to control when he was so upset.

“I think I should take Anna home and then come back here.” He sighed. Anna’s plan had already robbed the outing of any potential joy. With this added to the mix, he was ready to just be alone.

“Nee.” Mamm
actually stomped one foot. “You go, Jacob. You go
and don’t think about any of this. I shouldn’t have called you. This is your father’s job to—” She stopped, pressed her lips together, then locked eyes with Jacob. “Go. And have a
gut
time.”

Jacob wasn’t sure that was possible, but he knew he’d left Anna outside for too long already. “I’ll think about it.”

Mamm
kissed him on the cheek before he walked back outside. Anna was sitting in the passenger seat, probably wondering why he was so rude to leave her outside. He wasn’t sure how to explain things to her in a way that wouldn’t make his family sound as broken as they were.

He untied Bolt and climbed into the seat beside her. “Anna, I’m so sorry to leave you outside like that. There was a problem with
mei bruder
.”

She started shaking her head right away. “Don’t apologize. Really. Family must come first.” She turned in her seat to face him. “Is everything okay?”

Jacob eased the buggy backward and got it turned around. “
Ya
. Sure.” He wondered how convincing he was, since all he really wanted to do was cry—and a nineteen-year-old man just didn’t do that. He got Bolt into a steady trot down the driveway, then onto the gravel road. The last thing he felt like doing was being around a crowd of people.

“
Nee
. I don’t think everything is okay. And, Jacob, if you’d like to just take me home and be with your family, please know that’s all right.”

Her voice was soft and compassionate, her eyes sincere. He thought for a few moments before he answered her.

“How would you feel if we just get some coffee somewhere instead of going to the singing?” Then he remembered her plan to
show him off to everyone, to let them know she was available for dating. “
Ach
, never mind. I know you wanted to go to—”

“I’d love to.” She sat taller, batting her beautiful eyes at him.

“Really?” He swallowed hard, wondering how much to tell her over coffee. If she knew what a wreck his family was, she’d probably steer clear of him from now on. But his need to talk to someone his own age was outweighing concerns over what she might think of him. He’d tried to talk to Carolyn before he left, but she always seemed impatient for him to get over Leah, get past it, accept the accident as God’s will and move on. He’d tried to do that, but talking about it would have helped. He’d only gone out with Carolyn a couple of times, but they’d grown up together. Jacob had expected her to be more understanding.

“If you turn left when you get to Lincoln Highway, there’s a diner. It’s pretty new. I haven’t been there, but I heard it’s good.” Anna’s smile seemed genuine, and Jacob nodded. Even if she didn’t want to be more than friends, he could use a friend right now. Maybe he’d just tell her everything.

Or maybe not.

Marianne felt a thrill as she tiptoed down the basement stairs, along with a tiny tingle of guilt. She knew she shouldn’t be keeping secrets from her husband, but all those years of living with her husband’s authoritative ways had driven her to it. At least that’s what she kept telling herself.

Stretching high on her toes, she reached atop the door frame and felt around for her key. Once it was in the lock, she turned the knob and walked into the closet, which was more like a small
room. She flipped the switch on the battery-operated light she had hung on the wall inside the door, then she pulled her small box from the shelf and eased into her padded armchair in the corner of the small space. As she struggled to open the box, her heart raced. Even though Hector’s timing had been terrible, she’d been waiting for this package to arrive. She pulled the cell phone from its container, excited to have Internet to order things with the credit card she’d gotten recently. Isaac would come unhinged if he knew she had a credit card, but having to send money orders for all her purchases had become a hindrance. And she was careful to pay the bill in full each month.

After she read the instructions, she realized she would have to find a place to charge the phone before she could use it. She glanced around at everything she’d collected over the years. It was nothing short of a miracle that Anna hadn’t been more suspicious and found all of her goodies, but she suspected her granddaughter would keep her secret. It was all harmless enough.

She put the phone in her lap and reached for her aromatherapy lotion from Bath & Body Works and lathered the silky fragrance on her dry hands. She’d been ordering soaps, lotions, shampoo, and even laundry detergent through the mail for some time now—all items she used to make from scratch. Isaac never took notice of such things, and if Anna knew—which she likely did—she never said anything. Making them had become a struggle when Marianne’s arthritis acted up, and she didn’t want to ask Anna to take on anything else. Her granddaughter had plenty to do already.

Marianne did her shopping when no one was home. She had a pile of catalogs and
Englisch
magazines stacked on one of the shelves, and over the years she had begun to order other items. She reached
for the Sears catalog. Next on her list was a bright pink sweater with pearl buttons. She’d never owned anything like it, though she’d loved the color since she was a young girl. Even though she would never be able to wear the sweater anywhere but this room, it would give her comfort to wrap up in its softness, enjoy her hand lotion, and read one of the many books she’d bought.