Ravaged (6 page)

He stopped stroking her back. “But you did enjoy yourself.”

There was a confused tone to his voice that she didn’t miss. She chose to ignore it.

She sat up in bed and pulled the sheet over herself, rolling to put her back to him. “That’s beside the point. All you do is assume. You think you can do whatever you want and I’m just supposed to accept it because I’m your slave and you’re my master.”

“Is that why you remain aloof to me? Because you call me master?”

She was quiet a long while before finally answering him. “If you must know, yes. I’m a free-thinking being, not a mindless simpleton. It’s one thing to dominate me in the bed, but you don’t allow me to do anything on my own. You don’t trust me. Why would I give myself to you completely when I get nothing in return?”

“I will have to think on this,” he said.

Good, she thought. She hoped she’d given him plenty to think about. She wasn’t some doormat. If this was to be her life, then she wanted some say over it too.
Yes, she might enjoy herself in the bed, but lust was fleeting. She needed and craved more than this in her life.

Chapter Six

Pleasure was not the missing element to their relationship. Neither was bending Maura to his will. He’d thought fulfilling a fantasy would be the key to her happiness, and now he saw that was not the case.

She obeyed him. She responded to his touch, but she never came to him of her own accord. He began to see the reason why.

She felt trapped by him. Smothered.

It bothered him that she felt that way, but as he began turning it over in his mind that night and the next day, he slowly began to see that she was right. He wanted to be her master, but of her own free will.

She was a prisoner. His prisoner.

He wanted a mate. More than just a woman to fuck.

He didn’t realize it at first, but what he wanted was for her to love and desire him.

Once he’d come to that realization, he began to wonder how he could accomplish his goal of getting her to love him. And once he went down that path, he realized, ultimately, what he needed to do was give her freedom back to her.

There was an ancient saying that if you loved something, to set it free. If it came back to you, it was meant to be.

Raker had little experience with women. As much as he wanted to keep Maura under his control, his dissatisfaction by her aloofness and defiance ate at him until it was all he could think about. Sure, he could slake his lust on her body, but that was not enough for him, not anymore.

He wanted to capture her mind
and soul, not just her body. The knowledge of what was missing ate at him like a cancer.

The games held no appeal for him, and he knew he had to go through with his intentions or he would be eaten alive by doubt.

When he arrived at his suite, she was waiting on him, naked in the bed. He’d never even bothered to give her any clothing to wear in the entire time she’d been with him. It was one way of ensuring she couldn’t escape at the first opportunity. Nudity was just one chain he had to unleash.

“Here. Cover yourself with this,” he said, throwing a gown at her in the bed.

She looked down at the deep blue garment in shock. “Really?” she said, looking happy for once.

The smile on her face should have given him elation. Instead, he felt only dread at what he would next do. He knew she would never willingly choose to be with him. She did not love him. What was there to love about him? Sex and domination?
An animal?
What woman would choose that life he wondered?

When she’d donned the gown, she nearly took his breath away. He’d thought her beautiful and desirous nude. Somehow, having the deep blue folds fitted to her form only made him lust to tear the damn thing off her body and pin her to the bed and forget everything he was about to say.

She spun around in a circle, making the skirt flow around her legs and hips. She looked as enchanted as a young girl. She smiled. “I love it. Why the sudden change?”

He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “I thought you would need it when you leave here,” he said.

Her brow furrowed. “Leave?”

He pushed a hand through his hair, summoning the courage to free her
though every instinct urged him not to
. “I release you from your indenture. You are a free woman. Free to choose where you shall go. Where you shall live. You are no longer my slave, Maura.”

It was almost a relief to have the words out. A sense of guilt lifted from his shoulders. He felt better for having said it to her, but the look on her face was almost enough to slice his heart in two.

There was such happiness on her face now, he felt crushed inside. She skipped to him and hugged him tightly. “I’m free? I can leave? I don’t have to stay here anymore? Why?”

“Yes. You can go anywhere. I have funds to help you leave, or you can choose a suite here if you wish. A trapped bird is never so beautiful as one allowed to roam the skies,” he said, his voice low
and pained in his throat
.

She practically squealed. The fact that he’d never heard or seen or so happy before wore him down, tearing at his soul.

“I’d like to book passage off this planet then. I have family I haven’t seen in years. I can’t go back to my home planet
, of course
, but I see no reason not to visit some of the outstretched colonies. Oh, thank you, Raker! You’ve made me so happy!” she said, smiling broadly and kissing his cheeks.

The knowledge that he’d set her free weighed almost as heavily as knowing that she had no intention of remaining with him.

She did not love him
and probably never would
.

***

Happy could not begin to describe what Maura felt. She was so ecstatic to have her freedom back, she could hardly think of anything except leaving the planet and going on her merry way.

She wanted to travel the galaxy and establish a new life for herself somewhere distant. She had family and friends on a multitude of colonies
who hadn’t heard from her since her incarceration and sentencing
, and no doubt she could get help from one of them somewhere.

She was so wrapped up in herself
and her plans
, she never questioned the sudden change in Raker’s attitude toward her.

He did not touch her the night he released her
from her imprisonment
. Nor did he touch her the second night
or the next when he told her he’d procured passage for her to Centurion 961
. He came bearing her gifts: jewelry and gold, gowns and shoes and everything she would need to make her travels more comfortable.

At first, the gifts had delighted her almost as much as her freedom. There was something about doing without for so long, that finally having such things made her deliriously happy.
She enjoyed trying on the gowns and jewels and seeing Raker’s eyes alight when he saw her in them.

Strangely, it never seemed to encourage him to make advances towards her.

The gifts and enjoyment of them
could not contend with Raker’s mood. He acted happy to see her delight with his gifts, but his coldness did not go unnoticed. She wondered why he made no move to have sex with her, how a man could go from one extreme to another
in so short a time
.

Perhaps that was why he’d let her go, because he was tired of her. He’d seemed to form no attachment to her other than craving her in bed, and to suddenly stop puzzled her. She worried over it when she should have been finalizing her plans and sending contact to her cousins, packing her belongings.

She shouldn’t have been bothered by the development, but strangely, she was.

And then the thought that he intended on replacing her with a more willing woman entered her brain. The moment she finally connected the dots, she was disturbed.
Deeply disturbed.

She wasn’t sure when she’d begun to think about Raker being hers, but she had.

Simply thinking of him replacing her with a willing woman after she was gone filled her with dread. It shouldn’t have bothered her. He’d given her her freedom
after all
.

He and his perversely pleasurable desires were no longer of concern to her. He had his life and she had hers.

But the fact remained that he seemed to want her gone.
That he was eager for her to leave. She wondered if he gifted her to keep her mind away from the fact that he was tired of her.

And
that rankled.

Immensely.

Maura was jealous and she knew it.

She wanted to believe there was no future for her with Raker. That her future was in the great beyond, with someone else. Her attachment had grown to Raker, however.

She had the freedom to go any time she wanted, to anywhere. She was no longer bound to him.

She found that she did not crave freedom nearly so much as she craved love. But was Raker even capable of such emotion when he’d never displayed anything of the like to her?

Chapter Seven

The day of her departure had arrived. She’d collected the new belongings Raker had given her into the hard silver case and waited for Raker to carry it out and lead her to the ship
that would take her away from him forever.

Deep inside, she’d hoped to have some signal from him that he wanted things to be different, that he wasn’t tired of her or intent on replacing her. His continued silence made her want to yank the hair out of his head.

He returned to their suite after the games, his long black hair wet from showering. His skin smelled fresh and alluring as ever
, and she felt herself drawn to him, more so than she’d ever been before. She craved his touch, a kiss, something that told her he cared
. He did not look at her with lust in his eyes, only
remained
cold and emotionless.

She did not like the change any more now than she had when it had first come over him. She wanted to ask him if she was to be replaced by another woman, but the words wouldn’t seem to come out. Her throat felt sticky, and her mouth dry and unable to form words.

“Are you ready to leave? Do you have everything packed?” he asked, scanning the room.

Maura nodded. “I think so. I…I’m as ready as I’ll ever be I suppose. Thank you again for giving me my freedom,”
she said softly, feeling choked up.

He grunted. “I didn’t have much choice.”

Her brow furrowed
with confusion
. “What do you mean? I thought this was something you’d decided.”

He sighed, scrubbing his jaw and picking up the silver case she’d packed
like it weighed nothing
. “Does it matter?”

She caught his wrist before he could walk out of the door. Her curiosity had reached its peak
and could no longer be contained
. She wanted to know before she was gone what his plans were. She found the courage to ask the question that had been burning in her mind for
nearly
a week. “
Have you replaced me? Is that why you stopped touching me?”

Raker laughed, a cold, mirthless sound. “You could never be replaced. No woman will have me. No willing woman.” He turned his back on her.

She could see the tension in his shoulders and arms. He looked ready to explode. “What do you mean, no willing woman would have you?”

“Just what I said. It took women with no choice but death or life imprisonment to get mates for the ShadeShifters. None of you were willing. Given the chance, you would all leave. Just like you are.” He said the last with such disgust in his voice, it cut her to the quick.

Was that what he thought? Tha
t no woman could ever want them?

Maura grabbed him from behind, holding his arms, pressing her cheek against his back. He was a wounded soul, like she was. He didn’t know anything about a woman, other than giving and taking pleasure. How stupid she’d been! He didn’t know a woman craved communication and love, understanding. How could he when he’d never been given the chance, never had an opportunity to explore a relationship. She was most likely the first he’d ever had.

“Was…was I your first woman?” she asked, rubbing her face against his hard, immovable back.

A shudder rippled through him. “I
had one once, when I was barely a man
. But no more after that. Much of our race has been enslaved, and the women are as prized as the men. Don’t touch me. You make it…too…hard.”

She sighed, moving around him to face him. She looked up at him, saw sadness and pain etched across his face. She’d misunderstood so much. He was beastly, yes, but he needed healing
and guidance to grow into the man he should become
. “Make what too hard?” she asked, bringing her hand up to touch his face.

He flinched at the tender touch like some wild animal. “To let you go,” he said, his voice the barest whisper.

“You don’t want me to go?”

“It’s taking all my control to keep from tearing that gown off you and ravishing your brains out all over that bed. I need you. Too much.
No. I don’t want to let you go.
”

A dam burst inside her. She hadn’t realized how much alike they were, how much they both needed each other.
Had lust turned to something more without either one of them realizing it?
“What are you waiting for?” she asked, wetting her lips with her tongue.

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, dropping her case on the floor and staring down at her with a look in his eyes that mixed hope and fear.

“If you think you can love me and my mind, not just my body, I will stay with you,” Maura said, feeling breathless.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her against him. “I am willing to try, if you are willing to teach me.”

She smiled, tipping her face up. “That’s all I needed to hear,” she murmured, stretching up on her toes to kiss him with all the fervor she felt in her soul.

He tensed, surprised to have her come to him, but the muscles of his arms and chest relaxed as he realized she wanted to remain with him.

Maura kissed him eagerly, projecting her hungry craving into the kiss. He tasted her, felt her desire, true desire for him for the first time. Not some coaxed lust that he’d demanded of her. This willing surrender turned him on and set fire to his blood.

He’d never experienced the like before, and drank her essence as if his life depended upon it.

She urged him backward, guiding him toward the bed. His knees met the mattress and he fell back with a grunt. She was on top of him before he could recover, unbuttoning his pants and refusing to relinquish the kiss.

She ate his mouth greedily, sucking his tongue, pushing his pants off him and freeing his erection. She seemed starved for his touch. Eagerly, he stroked her back and breasts, ripping the gown off her and baring her skin for his needy palms. He wanted to touch her everywhere, couldn’t move fast enough to satisfy them both.

Maura moaned into his mouth, straddling his waist with her bare thighs. He felt the moist heat of her sex grinding against his cock. The torture of her nearness was nearly unbearable. He’d never thought to feel such lust. Having her willing body consuming him was too hot,
too raw. He thought he’d explode before she even enveloped him in her warmth.

Grabbing his cock, she tore her mouth from his and nibbled his jaw, guiding him inside her wet channel. The moment that slick mouth swallowed
h
is cock, he knew he was lost. His mind splintered as sensation buffeted him.

She ground herself on him, riding him hard, driving their need
to increasing heights
. She was hungry and desperate, touching him, scratching his chest and nipples with her nails, eating his jaw and throat. He never knew she could be so wild. He succumbed to her, felt the jerking of her orgasm as her sweet cunt milked his cock.

Her spasms took hold of him and he found release deep within her womb, driving his hips up to greet her until ever last drop of semen had expended into her and still, he wished he’d had more.

Raker’s heart thundered in his chest, refusing to calm when she lay on top of him, stroking him lazily with her fingers and kissing him as if he belonged only to her.

This was what he’d been missing and hadn’t realized it. He’d thought bending her will was what he’d been after, but he hadn’t known how wrong he was.

“I love you, Raker. I don’t know why. Perhaps it was because you saved me from certain death and taught me not to be ashamed of my desires,” she murmured
, kissing and nibbling his chest and playing in the hair there
.

Raker stroked her long brown hair, feeling his heart continue to pound with excitement. Love and desire. He’d never thought to have it, even if it was only for a brief time. To have it now made him soar. “I love you, Maura Nephrite. I believe I shall enjoy your teachings very much.”

She chuckled, and for the first time in his memory, he felt his world was finally as it should be.