Resonance (Marauders #4) (12 page)

His hand was still on the back of my head, and he tucked me to his shoulder.

“Bite down,” he groaned into my ear.

When I did, his arm around me hugged me tighter, and he basically fucked me from beneath. I couldn’t even move. He was so deep inside me it almost hurt, but in a good way.

“Shit! Fuck, Billie,” he whispered. “I’m close.”

I was already there, but if I let go of his shoulder to tell him, I’d be howling my answer to him. I felt my insides clamping down around him, and it was as if I could feel every damn vein on his dick. When I almost sobbed against his shoulder, his hand fisted into my hair, and he held me even closer to him to smother my screams. He grew harder inside of me, pulsating, and he thrust into me with full force a couple of times, and then held me still, breathing heavily against my ear.

Around that time, it dawned on me what I had done—again.

I leaned my hands against the wall behind him and sat up straight. We both winched and gasped when his cock moved inside of me. I looked at him, waiting for his reaction, and finally laughed a little.

“We’re so classy,” I whispered, and noticed that my throat was sore. Probably from trying to hold back screams. “After a funeral, and this time in the bathroom at a children’s hospital.”

“That’s me,” he said with a smile and opened his eyes. “Classy as fuck.”

I stared at him. I just didn’t know what to make of it. Finally, I stood up, but he pulled me back onto his lap and held my face in his big hands.

“We’ll figure this out, but not now.”

“Not sure there’s much to figure out,” I said.

“Sure there is.” He gave me a kiss. “But this isn’t the time for it. We need to get back to Felix.”

I thought about it, but settled on nodding.

“Do I still look like I’ve been crying?”

“No. Your eyes got that ‘I was just fucked’ shine, though.”

“What?” I asked with a laugh and held up the panties, just to realize they were in pieces. I threw them in the trash.

“That shine that newly fucked and crazy Christian people have,” he explained as he pulled up his jeans.

I started laughing. “I’ve missed your sense of humor.”

CHAPTER TEN

I’ll Shut Up

~oOo~

As they were walking back to Felix’s room, Tommy was trying to figure out how the hell that had happened, but he decided that it was a good thing. Spending twenty-four hours a day for four days straight with Billie, seeing her as mama bear to their kid, and remembering how it used to be... it had set some things off in him. If she hadn’t made the first move it was really just a matter of time before he would’ve. She’d just beaten him to the punch—like she always did.

“Mommy, what did Dr. Matthews say?” Felix asked when they came back into the room.

“That you’ll be going home tomorrow.” Billie sat down on the bed. “He also said that your kidneys are becoming big. There might be more pain because of that.”

Tommy was surprised when she told him, she wouldn’t normally worry Felix, but when she continued he understood why.

“You have to promise me to tell me when it’s hurting, okay? I can help you, but I need you to tell me.” She leaned forward and gave his forehead a kiss. “I love you.”

“Will it stop hurting if I get a new kidney?”

“Yes, it will.”

Felix turned to him. “Are you really giving me one?”

“Absolutely, Champ.” He sat down next to Billie. “You know that.”

They’d talked about it a few times, but it had never been Felix bringing it up. He wasn’t sure if Felix didn’t truly believe him, or if it was just that he didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“When I get out of here, will I still get to see Travis and the others?”

“That’s another absolutely.” He took Felix’s hand. “Maybe not every day, but you’ll see them as often as possible.”

“I won’t see you every day, either.”

“No, but often. You’ve seen me often so far, haven’t you?”

Felix nodded. He seemed worried, but it didn’t keep him from being able to fall asleep not long after. They sat and talked until Clyde and Leah left for the night.

“We should get some sleep, too” he said to Billie and moved to the sleeper chair. He wasn’t sure she’d follow, but she did. He lay down, and she got comfortable next to him, resting on his shoulder with an arm and a leg draped over him. “At least I don’t have to hide my boners now.”

That had been really fucking hard on the narrow bed, and he was a guy—morning boner was a thing. With Billie next to him, evening boner and middle-of-the-night boner had also been a thing.

“Just don’t ask me to give you a hand,” Billie mumbled.

“I’d ask for a mouth.” When she started to protest, he caught her mouth with his. He let go a few minutes later with a groan. “And now I have a boner.”

“I think we should take it easy. Situations like this tend to really mess with your head. You might hate me tomorrow again.”

He didn’t object out loud, but he didn’t agree with her. He would make a few things very clear to her when they were through this crisis.

*

Tommy woke up several times throughout the night. He’d done that every night they’d slept together, but it was more fun that night, since he could grab a feel and make out with her a little when he did. She didn’t protest, and she’d actually done the same a couple of times. Somewhere in the middle of the night, he’d remembered that he’d torn her underwear to pieces, and that make-out session had ended up in heavy fingering. It had been awesome.

When he woke up in the morning, she’d already left the bed and was sitting next to Felix, reading him
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
. He stayed silent and listened to her. Billie was already on the third read-through, and Tommy was happy to see that Felix loved the book just as much as he had. They were on chapter six, when Dorothy meets the Lion, and when Felix laughed about the picture of the Lion drying his eyes with his tail, Tommy laughed, too, because he’d loved that pictured. His laugh made Billie stop reading, though.

“Hey,” she said, and closed the book. “They’re coming back with the paperwork soon. Then we’re out of here.”

“Okay,” he said and sat up. “Keep reading. The Lion’s my favorite.”

“He is?” Felix asked.

“Yeah.”

By the time they left the hospital, Billie’d read chapter seven and eight, too. Felix hadn’t liked that they stopped there, since it ended with the Lion still sleeping on the deadly poppy field, but he agreed that it was worth stopping if it meant he could go home. Besides, he knew the Lion would be saved by the field mice.

Tommy followed them home; it didn’t feel like he could leave Felix just like that, so he ended up staying the entire day. When Felix went to bed, Billie left the two of them alone for a little while to let them say goodnight and goodbye in peace.

“Will you come back tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “I’ll come by tomorrow.”

“And Travis,” Felix yawned. He was half-asleep already. “Can he come? Or Adam?”

“I’ll talk to Dawg and Bucket to see when they can visit. Otherwise it’ll just be me.”

“That’s okay,” Felix murmured.

Tommy gave his forehead a kiss. “Go to sleep, Champ. Love you.”

“I love you, Daddy.”

Billie was waiting for him outside and followed him to the door. They both stood staring at each other for a few moments with a stupid smile.

“So...” she started.

“Yeah,” he laughed.

“Did that happen, or are we gonna pretend it didn’t?”

“No fucking way,” he answered. “That happened.”

Like he’d let her get away that easily. He gave her a kiss.

“We’re gonna talk about this again, aren’t we?” she asked.

“Yup. But we both need sleep now, and I need to check in with the club, too. So I’ll see you tomorrow. Go take care of our cub, mama bear. ”

“I’ll take care of him.”

“I have no doubt.”

That wasn’t something he was worried about at all. He knew she’d protect their kid to the very end.

Since he’d been wearing Clyde’s Air Force t-shirts for five days straight, he wanted his own fucking clothes, and he wanted clean clothes. So he went to his apartment. When he got home, he looked around and something struck him: it was not a place for a kid, or pretty much anyone but a single biker. He’d never take Felix or Billie to it, so he needed a new place. He also knew who could help him with that—Mel. She knew everyone, and she’d make sure he ended up in an area that worked with kids.

When he arrived at the clubhouse it was pretty much empty, but Brick was there along with Bull and Bear—the three Bs.

“Heard Champ was out of the hospital,” Brick said.

“For now.” Tommy sat down and waved for something to drink. By now all the hang-arounds and sweetbutts knew he didn’t drink alcohol. “Thanks for visiting him. Billie said he’d never nagged less about going home. She wanted you to know she was grateful.”

“Getting along with the baby mama?” Bear chuckled.

“Yeah.”

Brick started laughing. “That’s what watching a woman taking care of your kid does.”

“What?”

“If you haven’t nailed her already, you’re seriously considering it. Mel and I made bets after the second visit. She said you’d already been at it, but I said you’d wait until the kid was out of the hospital.”

“You’re betting on shit like that?”

“Sure. So—who was right?”

He thought about denying it, but didn’t think he had any reason to, so he smiled. “None of you, actually.”

“So you’ve nailed her?” Bear asked. “While at the hospital? You two—pure class.”

“Who’s nailing what?” Sisco asked as he slammed his empty beer glass on the bar to indicate to the hang-around he wanted another one. “You?”

“Billie,” he mumbled.

“Hey! Good for you. That is one fine-looking woman. Awesome ass.”

“One more fucking comment from you about Tommy’s son’s mother, and I’ll fucking take you up in the ring myself,” Brick growled.

“Just saying there was some heavy chemistry going on in that room,” Sisco smiled. A smile that faded when he looked at Brick. “But I’ll shut up about it.”

“What have I missed around here?” Tommy asked in an attempt to lead the discussion away from Billie. He might not feel a need to hide it, but that didn’t mean he was ready to talk about it.

“A lot,” Brick answered, “but get some sleep. I’ll fill you in tomorrow.”

“Good. Feels like I haven’t slept for months.” He stood up and emptied his Coke. “Just one thing. How long do you think we have until shit hits the fan?”

Bull chuckled and looked at Brick with an amused face. “Told you.”

“What?” Tommy asked.

“We had a pretty heated discussion at church, the one you missed,” Bear answered. “Think Bull’s words were something in the line of, ‘even our less brainy members know that shit is about to change.’”

“I’m one of the less brainy ones, then?”

“No offense,” Bull said.

“None taken. So what did you say?” he asked Brick.

“That we’re gonna have to start being careful soon.” Brick shook his head. “But get some sleep, and we’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll fill you in.”

“Thanks. Make sure no one wakes me up unless there’s a fire.”

“Got it. And give the baby mama a call. They like that,” Brick yelled after him.

“She’s mama bear,” he yelled back with a wave over his shoulder. “Not baby mama.”

He did call her once he was in bed, though.

“Billie Jensen speaking.”

“You should find a new way to answer the phone, because that sounds stupid.”

“I’ve said that since I started answering the phone.”

“I’ve thought it sounded stupid since then.”

“Did you call just to complain about how I answer the phone?”

“No. Just called to say I’ll see you tomorrow. How is he?”

“He’s fine. Or... you know, as fine as he can be given the circumstances. He’s been sleeping since you left, which was less than an hour ago.”

“Okay.” He stretched out and put the free arm under his head. “Just so you know, I’ve got a queen-sized bed here. ‘Lotta room for two people.”

“So no sleeping on top of each other?”

“Can still do that.”

Billie was quiet for a while. “What are we doing?”

“Not sure yet, but I like it, so don’t even think about bailing on me.”

“Okay.”

That didn’t sound very reassuring, but he didn’t want to get into a discussion over the phone. He’d deal with it face to face. “Go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Still not sure we’re smart about this.”

“No bailing.”

“You go to sleep, too. Might see things differently when you’re not sleep-deprived.”

“Not that differently, babe. I know you.”

He hung up before she could contradict him, or he told her it had nothing to do with losing sleep. It had a lot more to do with seeing her with her walls down.

~oOo~

I COULDN’T SLEEP. DESPITE days with serious lack of sleep, I couldn’t, and it wasn’t uncommon. Every time we left the hospital, I spent the first night back home awake, tired to the bones, with my brain going haywire with all the what-ifs. I’d talked to other parents with sick children, and they all had the same problem. Instead of relaxing, it was more like you were in a ‘waiting period,’ and those were the worst. Waiting for something to happen, whether good or bad, was always a middle stage that kept me on my toes, trying to be ready for whatever was about to come.

In that way, being at the hospital was better, because the goals were clearer: getting Felix better and going home. When waiting, it was possible to imagine anything happening next, and the possibilities were rarely good.

I was even scared to put too much trust in the transplant. According to the doctors, it would help, and it would help a lot. Most of his problems would disappear, and despite needing medication for the rest of his life, it would at least mean that he had a ‘rest of his life,’ which wasn’t very likely without it. But that depended on his body not rejecting the new kidney.

After trying for an hour, I put on my robe and went down to the kitchen. I made myself a cup of tea and sat down by the table with my laptop in front of me. That was another habit: checking out what I’d missed while cooped up at the hospital. Not like I read the news while we were there. But I was much too distracted and soon just slammed the laptop shut with a sigh.

I hadn’t really had the time to think about what had happened between Tommy and me, but if I wanted to pull out of what was going on, I probably shouldn’t have taken every shot to kiss him during the night. And I’d responded eagerly whenever he’d done the same thing.

About a year after I’d told Dad that Tommy was Felix’s father, he’d asked me if I’d been in love with Tommy when we were kids. I’d said I hadn’t, and when I thought about it now, that was still how I felt. I had no memory of ever thinking about him as anything but my brother’s friend, and later my stepbrother. A lot of my friends had thought that both he and Zach were ‘so hot,’ and I’d always reacted slightly disgusted.