Room 212 (15 page)

*****

“Seth?”

“What, baby?”

“If I loved another man, would it bother you?” I absently ran my fingers through his now full head of curls. He had grown them out for me in the past months and they were unbelievably beautiful on him. I was sitting with him in his recliner, our legs up, and I was bored out my mind due to the fact he was watching football.

“But you don’t.”

“I could.”

“You won’t. Really, shut up, Laura. The game is almost over and I’m losing a hundred bucks!”

“Shut up? We are at the shut up stage?”

“DAMN IT TO HELL!”

I jumped at his reaction to the game. I had never seen him this pissed about sports and I started laughing immediately.

“You think it’s funny?”

“Yeah, never bet on the Cowboys. I mean, no offense.”

“Oh, you are asking for an ass whooping.”

“The shut up and ass whooping stage, hmm? Well, I’m not feeling the love tonight.”

“Pay up, bitch,” I heard his front door slam as a group of guys entered his living room and paused in mid-stride to eye me. There were three of them, two I recognized as Paul and David and the other from the park months ago.

“Hi,” I said nervously looking wide eyed at Seth who never told me he had company coming. I darted my eyes down to the boxer shorts I had taken up residence in.

“Guys, turn your head for a minute.” He shooed me off his lap and I quickly retreated down the hall to put some clothes on. It was a hot October—yes October, this is Texas—afternoon and the less I had on the better. I threw on a sundress and quickly made my way back to the living room. I heard the guys ask about me and paused to get Seth’s response.

“She’s Laura. What?”

“What is she to you?”

“Mine,” his voice was cold and distant and I felt a tension in the air before I managed to get back into the room.

“So I’m going to go. I’ll see you later?”

“No stay, Laura. You know Paul and David and this is Allen.” Dear God, did he have any ugly friends? They all looked like models and smelled like heaven. All of them in jeans and either band tees or plain tees and the look they were giving me made my insides quiver. If I had straight friends they would have owed me one.

“Hey,” I mustered up as casually as I could. I resumed my seat back onto Seth due to the fact that the guys took up the couch. They brought beer and I quickly drank one down to ease my nerves.

Our night began with casual talk as another football game started and gradually, as the drinks went down, our voices grew louder as we became more opinionated. I walked over and sandwiched myself between the guys and was in the middle of talking with the very shy David about his current girlfriend when Paul made a motion behind me.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” Paul’s smile told me it was far from nothing.

I rolled my eyes and kept talking. I heard music burst into the room and saw Seth as animated as I had ever seen him. He quickly started dancing around the room and the guys followed. I was instantly confused. They began singing to the song, moving in gangster rhythm around me. I laughed my hardest when Seth, normally so controlled, was acting a fool in his living room with the rest of his friends behind him acting the same.

“What the hell is this?”

No one would answer me. They just keep dancing around me to some funky groove Ice Cube song I had never heard. I enjoyed every second. They all gathered around me and I felt my heart tug when I looked at Seth. When the song was over, Seth collapsed in his recliner and I joined him.

“What the hell was that?”

“What?”

“Come on.”

“I will never tell.”

“You are so weird.”

“It’s guy code. It’s one of our things.”

“Don’t tell me you have some lame ass ‘bro’s before hoes’ thing going on.”

“We do, but lately it’s taken on a different meaning.” He glanced in Paul’s direction and I could see tension in both of their faces.

“What is it with you and Paul?” I whispered, looking in Paul’s direction and seeing him in conversation with Allen.

“I really don’t know anymore.”

I curled my fingers in Seth’s hair and leaned down to kiss him for the first time since his friends arrived and was brushed off. What in the hell? I quickly took offense but was forced to stay in his lap. I glared at him and he held my eyes with a silent pleading.

I drank away the embarrassment and felt myself starting to anger. How can he kiss me in front of the world, but can’t do it in front of three friends? I was drinking the question out of my mind when I felt Paul’s eyes on me. He studied Seth and me and I could feel the smug smile on his face. He seemed to know I was getting angrier. I made a quick move and went to the kitchen. I felt Paul behind me.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Why would you say that? We are just fine, thank you.” There was something radiating from him, I could feel it, but couldn’t put my finger on it.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Do you know Rebecca?”

I saw his face tense into an awful grimace as he replied, “Unfortunately. Why?”

“I was just curious about her. He never tells me much.”

“Well, you are a lot hotter than she was, but she was hot. She’s not here now. Why, you worried?”

“No, I’m curious.”

“Well, I can tell you this, if he fucks up with you, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Oh, I will, baby. You can count on that,” he smirked as he rubbed his way past me, hitting up Seth’s fridge for another beer.

I felt Seth before I heard the boom in his voice.

“Paul, what the fuck did you just say to her?”

I knew I had turned sheet white. My head was swimming.

“I told her when you fucked it up with her I would be there to pick up the pieces.”

“That’s what I thought you said.” Seth was in front of Paul in an instant, his fist making a popping sound as it connected with Paul’s jaw. Paul went down on the floor holding his jaw, a smile in response.

“Laura, will you go home baby? Go home and I’ll come to you.”

“No, Seth, what’s going on?”

“GO, LAURA!”

I saw him reach for Paul on the floor and pull him up. It was the strangest exchange I had ever seen. He punched him then he pulls him up? What the hell? I got in my car, eager for the drive. Things had become complicated quickly. I made it home in a record fifteen minutes and went straight to my room to sleep. I heard my phone ring after an hour of tossing and turning.

“Laura, I’m sorry I yelled.”

“I’m trying to sleep. Nothing else takes precedence. You’ll have to explain tomorrow…and Seth, you will explain.” I hung up the phone and let slumber take me.

The next morning I woke up with a heavy heart. It was the first time in my run with Seth that we weren’t okay. We usually got along so well, but something felt off. We hadn’t even had an argument. I tried to dismiss the nagging feeling, but it remained throughout the day and into my shift. It had been the best four months of my life. I craved Seth. He was the most beautiful person I had ever known, but it was more than that. I admired him and desperately wanted his approval.

I had stopped drugs altogether. They were no longer relevant. I didn’t feel the need to escape the life I was living and no longer felt experimental. I loved my reality with Seth. He cared for me, and this time I can say it showed with his constant attention to my every need. I took his lead and did my best to meet his. There was nothing he could ask of me that I wouldn’t do. He worked hard, and played hard and loved me so gently. We made love every time we got close. He understood me and my need to be close because he seemed to feel the same. He had made it a point to call me daily.

Today he didn’t call.

I called his home phone when I got off of work and he answered.

“Hey, I know it’s late. I’m sorry, but you know you call me every day, Seth.”

“I know, baby.” His voice was low and he offered me no more explanation.

“Okay, so are you alone?”

“Yes, of course I’m alone.”

“So can I come over?”

“Laura, it’s late.” He had never denied me before. My instinct was right, something was off.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, night baby.”

Yeah right. I hopped into my car and drove to his house. His car was the only one in the drive way, but I still beat on the door like the clingy moron I was acting like.

“Laura, I thought we decided to talk tomorrow.”

“Are you alone?”

“I told you I was!”

“Well, considering our whole relationship started with you lying to a girl on the phone about me, I guess I was a little suspicious. What the hell is going on with you?”

“Come in.”

“No, Seth, tell me what the hell is going on.” My voice shook and he heard it. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes to get a better look at me. His eyes softened and he reached for me. “I thought things were going so well between us,” my voice a whisper now as I gave into him, letting him lead me inside. He took me to his bedroom and stripped me naked and took me to the bed with him. I was expecting him to pull me to him, but he simply held me and we went to sleep. I didn’t fight him, he seemed so exhausted. Tomorrow I would make him tell me. Tomorrow, I would get my answers.

*****

“Wake up, baby.” I felt his kiss and smiled as my eyes opened. I saw him dressed in khakis and a white collar shirt and was quickly disheartened. He was dressed for work and he didn’t wake me and make love to me like he usually did when I stayed over.

“How long do you have?” I asked, a wicked smile on my lips.

“Not that kind of time today, baby.”

“Seth, you never say no. You never put me in this position. Please tell me what’s going on.”

“Are you off tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go to dinner.”

The dread was back. This was it, my last date with Seth. I felt a burn in my chest, but ignored it. I grabbed his neck and pulled his mouth to mine.

“Make love to me,” I whispered as I pulled him to me. His reluctant kiss quickly turned into a fiery assault as I pulled him on top of me. He pulled away, cupping his hands on my forehead and pushed my hair away from my face.

“I can’t, baby. I want to.”

“Seth, please. I need you.” He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. He took himself away from me and sat on the side of the bed with his face in his hands.

“I know don’t I, Seth? I know what this is?” He refused to look at me as he walked out of the room. I quickly got dressed and caught a small smile as he held the door open for me, waiting to lock it behind us.

“I’ll pick you up at eight.”

“Why, when you can just end it now?”

“Laura, be ready at eight.”

I didn’t bother to kiss him goodbye. The son of a bitch was about to dump me. It was like I was about to see a train wreck, but couldn’t do a damn think to stop it. I waited until nine before I gave up and went to the bar.

*****

My beeper went off and I assumed it was him. No one else was calling these days, even Callie knew I spent all my time with Seth. I loved her for not holding it against me.

“An hour late, you have never been late.” I gripped the payphone cord for dear life.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“You seem to be sorry a lot lately.”

“I’m down the street from your apartment. Can you meet me there?”

“Twenty minutes.” I hung up without any more pleasantries. I had twenty more minutes of being Seth’s girl. I drank two shots and drove to my apartment.

I pulled up to my drive and got out of the car and he was waiting at my door. He finally gave me the look I had been waiting for all night. His eyes were fearful and sad.

“You’re taking her back.”

“Laura, listen—“

I felt my heart start to crumble piece by piece. There was no possible way I could hold my tears back. I quickly unlocked my apartment and went inside, leaving the door open. I turned to confront him, but was left speechless, my own body turning on me at the time I needed it most. I felt the anger bubble inside of me and finally found the courage to face what I had been dreading all day.

“You already explained this to me. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t think…after all the time we spent together.” I let out a small sob and continued, “Why did you make me feel all those things? Why did you do that to me? If this was just sex and was never about love, why did you make me feel this way?”

“Laura, it wasn’t just sex for me either.”

“Then don’t love her, love me.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes it is. You taught me that it is that simple. You want something, you go after it, right? If you want something you work hard for it. I worked hard for you. I stopped all of my stupid shit. I never lied to you, never manipulated you. And it looks like you made a simple decision to throw us away.” He reached for me and I swatted his hand away. The pain I felt was too much. It had all been too much with him.

“I fucking hate you,” I screamed, my face pouring tears I could not control. I threw my purse at him hitting him, in the chest. “I hate you. Don’t you ever fucking call me again. When she breaks your heart all over again, do not fucking come back to me!”