Ruthlessly His (7 page)

“What do you mean, take action?”

“Well,” he starts. “If there have been transgressions, there are steps which the university should take to protect itself—and you, of course. To protect you as well.”

I raise my voice and the vein in my neck starts to protrude. “I’m keeping my job. That’s my team out there,” I say, and point outside.

“Please, Mr. Smith. Calm down.”

“I get the feeling that you’re trying to threaten me,” I say and look down at Trevor. He takes a few steps back.

“No, no. You have the wrong idea. Don’t you remember the soccer coach? His name escapes me, but he took a sabbatical.”

“Yeah, and then he never returned,” I say.

“But that was his choice,” Trevor stresses.

“I don’t see why what I do with my personal life is any of the university’s business.”

“There are sponsors, and the administration's image, of course.”

“Bullshit,” I say.

“Mr. Smith. This is the last time I’m going to ask you. Calm down.”

“Nah, I’m done with this. I’ve done nothing wrong. Forget I said anything.”

“Mr. Smith?” he calls after me, but I’m already down the hall. I need Leo. Why did I leave him? He’ll know what to do. He’s good at calming me down, probably better than anyone I've ever been with. When I’m around Leo, I’m the real me—and that’s what I think this situati
on needs. Even if it’s all his goddamn fault.

* * *

Leo

I draw a tick on the paper in my hand. There are hundreds of pawnshops in New York. I made a map of the ones within a thirty-minute walk from the sushi restaurant where my bag was stolen.

I don’t think I’ll see Colt again. I know how these scandals go. The guy always retreats back to his family, the wife sobs about it on the local news, and they ask for people’s prayers.

I wish Colt
was checking these pawnshops with me. Most of them have been on sketchy streets. Colt always makes me feel safe. I’d go anywhere with him. God, I feel so fricking terrible about this whole camera thing. Did I even say sorry? Colt’s right—it’s all my fault. Fuck. I just want him to punish me or yell at me or anything.

I’m stressed, and when I’m stressed, I always want a good
ass-fucking. There’s nothing better to clear my mind. When I’m down on my knees in front of Colt, that’s when I just go cock-crazy. Kissing, sucking, slurping. I don’t even feel like I deserve to be thinking dirty thoughts about him. Celebrity photos leak all the freaking time. I know Colt’s only a minor celebrity but still. What the hell was I thinking?

Fuck. I just want to bounce on Colt’s dick. Bouncing is the best. Feeling a nice dick stretch me out and then bouncing up and down, watching their face as they grit their teeth. I hate how everyone jokes about cum-faces being unattractive. I think it’s one of the most attractive things in the world. It’s the person’s most personal face—it’s so private—and they’ve let you in to take a look at it.
Unlike these private photos of Colt that I let out into the wide, ugly world.

This pawnshop is full of stereos and guitars. In the window, there’s a neon sign saying ‘BUY AND SELL.' I tell the guy my camera model and ask if anything like that has come in. He shakes his head and offers me some wedding rings and says that he’ll give me a real good price for them. I cross it off the map. I check my phone to see if Colt has messaged
me or anything. He’s not much of a texter. He’s old fashioned like that.

After three more shops it starts to rain, and I head back to my apartment. The rain gets heavier the closer I get to home. Big, fat
rain drops slap against my face. I try to think of what I’ll say to Colt if I ever see him again. People are running down the street to get out of the rain, but I don’t have it in me. I just trudge along, listening to my shoes squelch.

I spot Colt waiting outside my apartment. There isn’t an awning or anything, and he’s soaking wet just like me. He looks less angry now, and sadder. I run up to him. “Colt,” I say. “I didn’t think I’d see you again, like, ever.”

“I had to see you,” he says. “I’ve been feeling like such a freak because of this whole thing. And when I’m with you, I don’t feel like a freak at all.”

I smile at him and push back some of his slick, gorgeous hair. “You’re soaking.”

“Yes. Soaking is correct.”

“Come on, let’s get you dry,” I say, and get my key.

Our bodies leave a trail of puddles in the elevator as we make our way up. I don’t know how to be with Colt, whether he wants me to hold his hand or kiss or do anything at all physical. I know he wants to be with me, because he said so with own damn words, but is that it? Does he just need to spend some time in my company?

We walk through my flat and he turns to me. “I haven’t forgiven you,” he says. “I know it’s both of our faults, really. But I’ve got all this anger, you know? It’s just unfair.” He looks so defeated.

“It’s okay,” I say. “Just deal with it however you need to.”

“It doesn’t help that you’re being so fucking understanding about the whole thing. This isn’t how Nancy and I used to sort things out. I just feel like yelling at your face.”

“It doesn't look like you two ever really sorted things out. But if it’ll help, you should yell, Colt,” I say.

“That’s what I mean! Stop being so understanding.”

“I don’t know what you want,” I say.

Colt slumps down in a chair. “I don’t know what I want either. How are we going to deal with this? I spoke to the PR guy at the university.”

“Jesus, really? That seems like a really bad idea.”

“It was. He was totally trying to screw me before he even found out what the meeting was about.”

“Did you tell him?” I ask.

“No. I didn’t trust him. He was this shifty dude. Kept saying things like ‘protecting the university’.”

“What a dick,” I say, and sit down opposite Colt. “Let’s just plan for the worst.”

“How the hell do we do that?”

“Well, you come out as a bisexual dude, or whatever.”

“That would end my career,” he says.

“Would it really? Times are changing, you know. It’s not like we live in the south.”

“Cold Spring might as well be Texas, as far as this is concerned,” he says.

Colt walks through to the bathroom and strips. I take off my clothes out in the main room of my apartment. I know if I see him naked and sad I’m going to jump all over him. I don’t know if that’s what he wants right now.

He pokes his head around the corner. “Hey,” he says. “Are you going to join me in here or what?”

The hot shower quickly steams up the bathroom. Colt is naked under the spout and his eyes are closed. He’s brushing his hair back and forth, and rubbing his hands under his armpits and down around his crotch. He doesn’t use any products, and I love it that way. He never smells dirty to me; he always smells sweet, like strawberries or something. I don’t know how he does it. I reach out and touch his stomach; he doesn’t flinch. His eyes stay closed and he continues rubbing his body all over. He looks calm now. Maybe this is how he deals with things. Long, hot showers.

I keep touching Colt’s stomach. If you push the skin around, you can make out the muscle shapes underneath. He could probably lift me up with one arm. I reach down to cup his balls. They feel heavy like usual. This surprised me the first time I felt them; I thought maybe he just had to cum really hard but nope—he’s just got some big balls.

Poor Colt. How the hell do I comfort him?

I hold his penis. It’s hanging quite far down. I thought he was a show-
er, instead of a grower, but it doubles in size somehow. Moving that much blood would make me lightheaded for sure. His cock’s skin is smooth, and his shaft is squidgy but solid, like all penises I suppose. But this one feels special. I bend down and give it a kiss. Colt still has his eyes closed. “We’ll fix this,” I say.

“No,” he says. “We can’t.”

I hush him and rub his arms. This whole time I’ve wanted Colt to be with me, looking after me. But maybe, he’s the one that needs looking after. Maybe he wants me to take control and guide him. I’ve never thought of Colt as someone who could give up control. Like, it doesn’t seem like that would be in his genes. I say again, “We’ll sort it out.” He just shakes his head now. The water drips off his eyebrows and nose and chin. He breathes slowly.

I start to think; maybe he wants me to make a move on him. Is that the craziest thought I've ever had? I turn him around, and he complies. He still hasn’t said more than a few sentences in here. I run my hands down his strong, thick back muscles. My fingers arrive at his ass. It’s plump with muscle. I spread his cheeks to see that he shaved his asshole. “When did you shave this?” I ask.

He grunts something inaudible.

“You’re wallowing,” I say. “Let’s take action.”

“There’s nothing to do,” he says. It’s horrible seeing him like this. I reach under and squeeze his cock and balls. He jumps a bit and says, “Hey.”

“Wake up,” I say, and squeeze his ass, digging my nails in. Colt turns around and shoves me. I grab his face and kiss him. He pushes me off. “You need some tough love, you know that?” I say.

“I’m not in the mood,” he says, and turns around to lean against the shower wall.

I decide to try once more; if he keeps this up, I’ll just leave him here. I stick my fingers in my mouth to get them lubed up. Then I place them against his hole. I just hold them there, completely still. I’m trying to feel him out. He doesn’t respond. He just keeps leaning against the shower wall with his hands on the tile. My index finger and middle finger are right against his asshole. I move them in a very small circle for a while,
then I apply some pressure. Colt lets out a moan and stops himself, like he didn’t mean to make any noise at all. I massage harder, and push them in deeper. I don’t push hard enough to open him up, though. I want him to really want it, like I do when he’s making a move on me.

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” I say.

He doesn’t reply. Have I woken him up?

I squeeze his ass cheeks with my other hand and then reach under to grab his cock and balls. He lets out another short moan. He’s getting hard; his cock is less squidgy now. He really does want me to take him. I plunge one finger inside of him and angle it against his prostate. He reaches back, halfheartedly, to stop me. He’s strong enough to throw me off with a look but he’s not moving a muscle now. He leans back into my finger, and I slide in a second one. “You’re strong,” I tell him. “Don’t forget that.”

I start gently finger-fucking him. I bite at his back and leave a mark. His ass feels amazing inside. My cock is growing and growing. I’ll distract him from everything; that’s what I’ll do.

It’s so much effort to restrain myself. I take my fingers out and get him to spread his legs wide. Colt arches his back, ready to receive me. “Not yet,” I say. Colt is completely giving himself up to me. He breathes heavily but doesn’t say a word. I take my cock and start to rub the head against his ass, real slow. I slide inside of him by just an inch and then take it out. Colt says something, but it was too quiet for me to hear. “What was that?” I ask. “Is there something you want?”

“I want your cock,” he says. And so, I start to slide it inside of him again, this time in a serious way. I hold his hips the way he’s held mine before. Fuck, entering a guy for the first time is the greatest thing.

Before my cock is all the way inside, I start sliding in and out, warming him up for this whole beautifully addicting experience. I don’t know how much practice he has with anal sex, and I don’t want to hurt him. After a minute of this, I plunge it all the way in and he groans. “Yes,” I say. “It’s going to feel real nice
cumming inside of you.”

Colt pushes back against me and grinds a little. His back muscles tense up when he moans, and it’s so precious. I reach around to feel how hard he is. It’s thick and fully engorged. I squeeze his cock as I fuck him but don’t jerk it at all. I love it when guys do this to me, it drives me crazy. His ass is so plump and hard that it’s stopping me from getting my cock the whole way in. I’m going to have to be rougher. I hold his hips firmly and start fucking him properly. I reach up and run my fingers over his rock hard nipples. They’re like hard little pebbles. Colt lets out a long moan.

I take Colt’s hand and place it onto his cock. I want him to jerk himself as I fuck him. The next time he masturbates, I want him to think about my cock fucking his ass. His whole body starts to shudder. I can feel my orgasm starting to build. Colt’s ass tenses up when his cock twitches, and it feels amazing. I start to cum inside of him. As I start moaning, he stutters, “I can feel it.” His ass contracts around my cock as he orgasms.
We cum in sync. His ass is getting filled as he sprays the shower wall, like I did the very first time.

My orgasm keeps going and I watch his strong body shake as he cums. “Fuck,” I say. He mumbles something. I reach around to touch the head of his cock. It’s slimy with his semen. I get some on my finger and lift it to my mouth. It tastes so sweet. I pull out of Colt and spin him around. He lifts me up and kisses me deeply. I wrap my legs around him as we tongue-fuck each other and we both moan between breaths. His cock is still hard, and I can feel it on the bottom of my ass.

Colt pushes me up against the wall and bites my bottom lip real hard. He’s finally awake now. He’s cummed away the bulk of his stress. He holds the back of my neck, and then his hands move to my face. “I needed that,” he says between kisses.