Sawyer (Torey Hope: The Later Years #2) (13 page)

“Well, if you’re in this for real, you’ve got to be patient. Be his friend, take him on dates without him realizing they’re dates, don’t let him get away without worming your way into his heart. But, Sawyer, I think you may have to realize that sometimes people never overcome their pasts.” Kendrick spoke softly and sincerely.

“A date without knowing it’s a date? How do I do…Wait! I think I have an idea. Thanks guys, I need to make some plans.” Sawyer popped up from his chair and headed to his room.

After a fitful night’s sleep and an uneventful day at work, Sawyer stood apprehensively on Hayden’s front step. He knew what he had to do, but he feared losing a friend.

“Sawyer, what a nice surprise, come in.” Hayden was still in his business shirt and dress pants, his tie loosened around his neck.

“Sorry to just show up like this. I didn’t even give you time to relax after work.” Sawyer stood nervously at the doorway, not sure if he should stay standing or sit down.

“Nonsense, I’m always happy to see you. Go have a seat, I’ll get us drinks. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Hayden’s face flashed a hint of regret before he disappeared into the kitchen.

Taking a seat on the chair closest to the couch, Sawyer wiped his palms on his jeans.

Hayden appeared with iced teas and sat on the couch, close enough so their knees bumped.

“Hayden, I need to talk to you…” Sawyer began, but he was interrupted by his friend.

“No, wait, Sawyer, let me talk first.” Hayden took a deep swallow of his tea as if to calm his nerves and build his strength.

“I need to apologize for the scene I made in the restroom.” Hayden reached for Sawyer’s hand and held it as he continued. “I found myself in the awkward position of being extremely jealous of Luke and not knowing exactly how to handle it. I acted rude, possessive, and condescending towards your relationship with him, and for that I’m truly sorry. I’m not that type of person. I think I saw my hopes of something deeper happening with you being dashed as soon as I saw the way you and Luke looked at each other, and I was desperately grasping at straws to salvage what may have been left of us.”

“Hayden…” Sawyer started, but he was stopped.

“Wait, let me finish. I’ve known from the first day we met that there wasn’t really a chemistry between us. You’re extremely attractive and a great guy, but we don’t have that spark. I’m willing to forgo the spark for a comfortable friendship and solid future.” Hayden paused and Sawyer tried quickly to think of a response to let him down gently.

“But, then I saw the fire in your eyes when Luke walked into the room and took his seat beside you. I could never compete with that fire, and I’d never want to hold you back from experiencing a relationship like that.” Hayden took a deep breath, “So, basically what I’m saying is I think we should just be friends. And as your friend, I think you should not let go of whatever you have with Luke.”

Sawyer’s eyes stung with unshed tears. He dropped his head. Looking back up at Hayden, Sawyer took their joined hands and brought them to his lips. Kissing Hayden’s skin lightly, he spoke, “Hayden, that’s possibly the sweetest, most selfless thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.”

Leaning in to kiss Hayden’s cheek, Sawyer sat back and smiled, “You deserve that fire in a relationship too. I hope someday, when you’re least expecting it, you’ll find it.”

Finishing their tea over random small talk, the men smiled warmly at one another.

“I better be heading out. I have a secret date I’m attempting to sneak in on a certain martial arts instructor tomorrow.” Sawyer smiled.

Hayden’s broad smile lit up his face, “Well, I have to say he’s a pretty lucky guy, even if he doesn’t realize it just yet. Have fun, you deserve it.”

Hayden reached out a hand to shake, but Sawyer pulled him into a hug. “Thanks again, man. You are a total class-act.”

***********

Sawyer made himself wait as long as possible the next morning before bounding out of bed and heading to Luke’s. It was a Saturday and the place he wanted to take him wasn’t open until 10:00 a.m.

Forcing himself to walk at a normal pace, Sawyer checked his clothes again. He’d purposely dressed casually, both because the location they were headed called for it and he didn’t want to appear too date-like. The faded jeans, soft t-shirt, and simple tennis shoes made him feel relaxed and comfortable, but inside, his heart was beating a mile a minute.

What if he’s not home? What if you can’t get him to leave the house with you? What if he balks when we get there?
The thoughts hummed around Sawyer’s head like racecars around a track.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Sawyer knocked on the door.

A still-sleepy Luke, dressed only in low-slung sweatpants greeted him several moments later with a confused look on his gorgeous face.

“Sawyer? Um, good morning?”

The two men stood stock-still, their eyes voraciously traveling from head to toe, breathing and heart beats ramping up several notches.

Shaking himself from his trance, Sawyer silently chastised himself,
You’re here to show him a nice day, not to show him you’re barely more than a hormonal teen.

“Mornin’. Hope I didn’t wake you…” Sawyer hedged at an apology if one was needed.

“Nah, man, I was up, just hadn’t gotten out of bed yet.”

The image of Luke tangled in sheets, quickly pulling on sweats and nothing more when he heard the knock at the door, made Sawyer’s mouth go dry.

“So, listen, I have some errands to run today and wanted to know if you wanted to tag along. Thought it might be a good way to see the town and get out of the house.” Sawyer put the invitation out there and silently begged Luke to accept.

He watched as Luke’s head and heart battled for several seconds. Seeming satisfied with whatever the outcome of their feud had been, Luke nodded, “Sure, just let me grab a quick shower.”

He stepped back so Sawyer could enter. “Just make yourself at home. There’s OJ in the fridge or I can make coffee.” Luke hesitated as he waffled between heading to the kitchen or the bathroom.

“No, one of the things I wanted to do was stop at my Grandma Janie’s bakery for breakfast and caffeine. Go ahead and get ready.” Sawyer nodded his head toward the hall he knew Luke would soon disappear down.

Running through his plans for the day while Luke showered, Sawyer glanced around furtively. Once he heard the water running and was sure Luke was in the shower, Sawyer stood and roamed the living room and kitchen looking for what he needed.

He found exactly what he was searching for on the small table in the kitchen. Running a hand through his hair, he argued with himself whether or not he should do what he was contemplating. Reaching out a hesitant finger, he slowly moved the items around, glancing at each one to see if it would do. When he heard the shower stop, he grabbed the first item he could get his hands on and quickly shoved it in his pocket as he returned to the couch. Two minutes later, a freshly showered Luke appeared with still-damp hair. Sawyer allowed his greedy gaze to travel down Luke’s bare chest before a shirt was pulled over his head and covered the perfection.

“Ready?” At Luke’s nod, Sawyer headed toward the door. “Oh, hey, make sure you have your wallet and ID.”

When Luke looked at him strangely, Sawyer shrugged, “Just never know when you might need it, ya know?” Trying to appear nonchalant, Sawyer let himself out the door and headed toward his car.

Once they were settled, Sawyer pulled the Honda out onto the street. “Okay, breakfast first. Grandma Janie makes the best scones, but her cinnamon rolls are to die for.”

Making their way to The Cakery, Sawyer waved at his grandmother as they walked inside. The scent of baking pastries and fresh-brewed coffee assaulted their senses.

“My sweet Sawyer, it’s so good to see you.” She came around the counter and gave him a hug. Turning to Luke she stuck out a hand, “Good morning to you. I’m Grandma Janie.”

Luke smiled and returned the hand shake. “Nice meeting you, I’m Luke Hamilton. I’m the new martial arts instructor at The Center+.”

“Of course you are! I’ve heard the name, but we’ve not been formally introduced.” She gathered him into a hug before turning to Sawyer.

“What can I get you boys?”

“Let’s have a cinnamon roll and a buttermilk scone with lingonberry preserves. And two lattes please.” He glanced at Luke, raising his eyebrows in silent question of the order. When Luke nodded and smiled, they headed to a small table in the corner.

While they waited for Janie to bring their breakfast, Sawyer spoke quietly. “Janie is the captain’s second wife. My biological maternal grandmother died when my mom was very young. The captain was a lonely alcoholic for several years, trying to raise my mom and Aunt Audrey. Many mistakes were made over the years. Audrey probably suffered the most. I haven’t been told the entire story, and honestly, I don’t think I’d want to know all the sordid details, but Audrey went through some bad stuff. She and my mom had a rough relationship for several years. It culminated with Audrey doing something to my dad that was actually punishable by law, and he and my mom and the captain setting up an intervention to get Audrey straightened out. My understanding is it was really bad for a while. But, not long after, everyone involved started healing and moving on and that’s when Grandpa met Janie. They dated for a while and married soon after. She’s treated all of us kids like precious treasures ever since.” Sawyer stopped talking and winked at Luke as Janie came out of the kitchen with a tray full of goodies.

“Here you go, boys.” She sat the food and drinks down along with napkins and forks.

“This looks delicious Mrs. Decker, thank you.” Luke’s eyes widened as he took in the size of the cinnamon roll and scone.

“None of that Mrs. Decker nonsense. You can call me Grandma or Janie or Grandma Janie. Mrs. Decker is what the doctor’s office calls me.” Janie smiled and reached her arms out to both men so she could pat them on the shoulders. “Now you boys enjoy your breakfast and don’t even think about paying, it’s on the house. Not every day I get to start my morning with two attractive young men prettying up my place.” She winked and walked away.

“I’ll be sure to tell the captain that,” Sawyer called out as she left.

“The captain is still on my list for eating enough to send himself into cardiac arrest the other night, so he can just get over it.” She stuck her tongue out playfully at Sawyer before disappearing into the kitchen.

“I like her, she’s sweet.” Luke looked at the food in front of him. “Wow, I had no idea these would be so big.”

“Yeah, that’s why I just got the two, I figured we could split them.”

When they had finished their meal and gotten refills on their lattes to go, Sawyer waited until Janie’s back was turned and stuffed a $20 bill into the tip jar on her display counter. “She never lets me pay, but I always make sure she gets a big tip.” Sawyer winked as he whispered to Luke.

Upon leaving The Cakery, Sawyer nodded toward a building to their left. “I need to get a new library card, I lost mine sometime while I was away at school. You up for a trip to the library?”

Sawyer knew that Luke hadn’t been in a library since before his mother died, and he knew his plans for today could backfire terribly. But, he also knew that Luke missed the library, he’d said so himself, so Sawyer took a chance.

Luke’s head nodded almost imperceptibly and they began walking toward the old stone building. When they reached the steps, Luke stopped and stared up at the sign announcing Torey Hope Public Library, Torey Hope, Illinois. “Wow, it’s been such a long time. I didn’t realize just how much I missed it until right now.”

Entering the library, Luke slowed and breathed deeply. “It’s not the same library, but it’s the same smell. The leather and paper and dust. Mmmm, smell that.” He smiled crookedly at Sawyer.

They walked to the main desk. “Good morning, gentlemen, may I help you?” The lady who greeted them was one of Torey Hope’s biggest gossips, and Sawyer suddenly felt a twinge of worry.

“Well, I need to get a replacement library card.” Turning to Luke, he whispered, “You want to get a card while we’re here?”

Luke left the shelf of books he was studying and walked to the desk, “What would I need to get a card today?”

“Just your ID and proof of address.” The clerk spoke as she pulled out the information sheets.

“I’ll come back another day, I’ve got my ID, but no proof of address.”

“Um, as long as you won’t turn me in for mail tampering, I
may
have borrowed a piece of mail from your kitchen table while you were in the shower.” Sawyer whispered sheepishly.

Luke stared at him for several beats before taking the envelope from his hand and digging his ID out of his wallet.

Five minutes later, Luke was the proud carrier of a Torey Hope Public Library card. A disgruntled Sawyer was out $25 because his replacement card didn’t come for free.

They headed towards the shelves with Sawyer grumbling, “Geesh, you’d think they’d give a guy a break. I was gone for four years.”

Luke shook his head at him and began to eagerly fill his complimentary book bag with titles both old and new. Sawyer wandered through the shelves pretending to look at books while, in reality, he was too busy watching Luke to have a single clue as to what books he was stuffing in his bag.

***********

Luke sat at the little table with his head in his hands. As he thought about his day, he couldn’t help but smile. But that smile quickly turned into a frown because he could never have this for real with Sawyer. It wasn’t fair to make him miss out on a true relationship just because Luke had so many demons to deal with.