Scandal (3 page)

“Was it your father’s idea, tearing down Billings?” I asked the guys, trying not to let too much accusation seep into my voice.

Sawyer and Graham exchanged a look over our heads. “He hasn’t said that—not exactly—but …”

“But you think it was,” I finished, my fingers curling around the spines of my books.

“Don’t hate him, Reed,” Graham said, tossing his brown bangs off his face. “This is what he does. He goes into a school, finds the problems, and deals with them. It’s all action, action, action with him. It’s just the way he’s wired.”

“Billings wasn’t a problem. And he could have given us a chance to plead our case,” I said, hugging my books to my chest. “Back there he was all about an open-door policy and wanting to know what we want, but he didn’t think of that before he tore down our house.”

Graham paused at the foot of the steps to the class building and laughed. “It was just a dorm.”

A sophomore in a pink tasseled hat pushed past us, throwing an irritated look at Graham for blocking the stairs. I pressed my lips together to keep from snapping and took a breath of the cold, dry air. “No, it wasn’t. It was my home.”

It was hard to express what Billings had meant to me. When I’d first come to Easton, my family had been in shambles, and the Billings Girls had filled a serious void. They had become like sisters. Last year, even as they were testing me, they were always there when I needed them. Walking into that house had felt more comforting than walking into my home in Croton. But I couldn’t expect Graham to understand that.

Sawyer leveled his brother with a glare. I could tell he wanted Graham to back off and I felt a rush of gratitude. A group of girls laughed loudly as they tromped across the frozen grass toward the class building.

“I’m sorry,” Graham said, slipping one hand into his coat pocket. “I didn’t know it meant so much to you.”

“Well, it did,” Sawyer said, his tone serious.

“Even if none of us really understood it,” Ivy added lightly.

I tried not to cringe. Neither Ivy nor Josh had ever really
tried
to understand it. But then, I had to admit, they both had their reasons for hating Billings.

“Look, I know my dad can be kind of full-steam-ahead sometimes, but honestly, it’s because he cares. It’s not just a party line. He just wants what’s best for everyone,” Graham said earnestly. His eyes flicked left as a pair of teachers walked by us, clutching steaming Coffee Carma cups. He rolled his shoulders back as if he didn’t want the authority figures to catch him slouching.

“And he wants to keep you safe,” Sawyer added. He blew into his hands and rubbed them together. “You have to appreciate that.”

I sighed, my breath making a huge steam cloud between us. “I guess when you look at it from an outsider’s point of view, Billings did kind of put my life on the line more than once.”

“You don’t see it that way?” Ivy asked, incredulous.

“Billings wasn’t the problem,” I said with a sad smile. My gaze drifted reluctantly toward the empty space where the dorm had once stood. “It was the one thing that kept me going.”

Graham sighed and off into the distance for a moment. I turned and saw that he was watching his dad, who stood at the center of campus, engaged in animated conversation with a group of freshman guys.

Sawyer started up the steps of the class building. “I don’t know what good it’ll do, but if you want me to talk to him, I will.”

I was about to thank him profusely, when Ivy interrupted me.

“Josh!” she shouted. “Wait up!”

She gave us an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, guys. I gotta go.”

With that, she jogged over to Josh, who had paused under a leafless oak tree to wait for her. Josh looked past Ivy at Graham, and for a moment, the two of them went completely ashen. Then Ivy threw her arms around Josh’s neck and they kissed. A lot. Without coming up for air.

Great. Now I was ashen too.

Why couldn’t Upton have been three years younger? And a student at Easton? And
here?
If he were here, I was sure I wouldn’t be so jealous of Ivy. I was sure I wouldn’t be having all these old and intense feelings for Josh. At the very least, I would have someone to smother with kisses when I started to turn green with envy.

“Graham. Don’t,” Sawyer said.

Graham’s eyes flicked to his brother. “Don’t what?” he asked tersely.

“Just don’t.”

Graham clenched his teeth and bowed his head forward, as if he was trying to keep himself from exploding.

“I have to get out of here,” he muttered.

Then he turned and stormed off in the opposite direction from where Ivy and Josh stood.

“Do you guys know Josh Hollis?” I asked Sawyer. “Back at the chapel it looked like Graham wanted to hit someone, and I’m thinking it was Josh.”

Sawyer took a deep breath. His face was growing red from his chin up to his forehead, whether from the cold or something else, I couldn’t tell.

“It’s a long story,” he said, starting after his brother. He walked backward for a second to look at me. “I’ll explain later.”

“Wait! What about class?” I called after him as he jogged to catch up with Graham, his one-shouldered backpack bouncing behind him.

“Being the son of the headmaster has its perks!” he shouted back.

I watched them until my eyes started to sting from the cold. When I glanced back at the tree again, Josh and Ivy were gone.

You don’t need him anymore, Reed. You have Upton, remember?
We had decided to not put labels on our relationship—to simply stay in touch—so maybe that was what I should be doing right now.

I whipped out my phone and texted my casual European boy toy.

How many days till I graduate?

He responded as I was climbing the steps into the class building.

Unclear. Will do the math & respond ASAP. BTW, what are you wearing? :)

I rolled my eyes with a laugh and shoved my phone back in my bag without replying. But at least I wasn’t thinking about Josh and Ivy anymore. Really. Not at all.

THE BILLINGS LITERARY SOCIETY

“At least we’re living in the same dorm,” Constance said, skipping for a few steps as we walked across campus toward Pemberly that night. Her red curls bounced around her shoulders and her cherubic cheeks were pink from the cold. “Hey! Maybe you can switch with Lorna! Give her your single so we can room together again!”

I pondered this idea for a moment, but not very seriously. “I don’t know. I kind of like my solitude.”

And as much as I loved Constance, I wasn’t sure I could deal with her nonstop talking 24/7. I didn’t think our friendship could survive it.

“Oh. Okay. Well, that’s cool. You’re only two floors away anyway,” Constance said with a shrug.

“Yep. Just two floors.”

I wished I could be as enthusiastic as she was, but I couldn’t. It was only the first day of school and I was already loaded down with library books for my new history paper. Plus my right foot was frozen solid after stepping in a slush puddle outside the dining hall. And to top it all off, I had spent the day promising my friends that I was going to figure out a way to bring back Billings, yet I felt less and less certain every time I uttered the words.

Where could I even begin? Should I talk to Hathaway? Petition the board? Hold a fund-raiser to show them we were committed to rebuilding? And even if any of that worked, and they decided to build a new Billings on the old site, it wouldn’t really be Billings. Not our Billings, with all its history. Plus there was no way it would be finished before the seniors graduated in June, so Noelle, Tiff, Portia, Rose, Shelby, London, and Vienna were out of luck no matter how you looked at it.

“Oh! Reed! Don’t look!” Constance whispered, stopping suddenly and slapping her gloved hand over my eyes.

“Constance! What the heck are you doing?” I said with a laugh, batting her hand away.

That was when my pity party hit an all-time roar. Because Ivy and Josh were standing just outside the door to our dorm, making out again, this time in the dim glow of the overhead lights. God. Hadn’t these two ever heard the phrase “get a room”? I glanced at Constance, my eyes desperate. As if reading my thoughts, she turned and walked purposely forward.

“Hi, guys!” she said brightly.

They sprang apart, snagged.

“Hey!” Ivy said, her face happily flushed. “Sorry. You guys probably want to get inside.”

Constance shot me a mothering look that made me want to cry for all my patheticness.

“No worries,” I said, angling to get by them.

“Reed, how are you?” Josh asked, clearing his throat and shoving his hands into the pockets of his heather gray coat. His lips were red and puffy from all the face-sucking. Fab.

“Great. Fine. You?” I asked.

You have Upton. Beautiful, worldly Upton. Stop wanting to rip Josh away from Ivy.

“Great,” he replied.

Upton, Upton, Upton.

“Great.”

Can I go inside now and eat an entire carton of coffee ice cream?

“I’m good, too!” Constance announced helpfully.

“Right. Yeah. Sorry, Constance.” Josh scratched the back of his neck. “I guess I should go.”

“Yeah. I should get inside before I freeze,” Ivy said, giving Josh a quick kiss. “Call you later?”

“Definitely,” he replied. “Bye, Reed. Constance.”

He lifted a hand, but I was already through the door.

“Later!” Constance said loudly.

I was definitely calling Upton the second I got upstairs.

Constance and I walked up the stairs to the second floor with Ivy trailing slightly behind. Constance kept shooting me these concerned looks out the corner of her eye and I prayed she wouldn’t say anything embarrassing in front of Ivy.

“Well. This is me,” Constance said as we arrived at her floor. “You guys want to come hang out? Lorna’s probably over at Missy’s. As always.”

“Thanks, Constance, but I really have to get to work on this paper,” I said, trying to thank her silently for helping me out downstairs.

“And I just want to pass out,” Ivy added, catching up with us. “But thanks. Maybe some other time.”

“Okay. ’Night!” Constance smiled and whipped around, her red hair flying, leaving me and Ivy entirely alone. We shared a somewhat awkward smile and then walked side by side up the stairs to our adjacent rooms.

Ivy’s steps were slow, her breathing labored, and I realized with a pang that she was still recovering from the gunshot. The one that Sabine had intended for me, but had ended up hitting her when Josh had grabbed for the gun in Sabine’s hand. Ivy
looked
healthy, though. Her ivory skin was flawless, her thick black hair shiny and coiffed, her body still slim. She had seemed fine that morning, but maybe a full day of activity had worn her out. She winced as we reached the third-floor landing, clearly in pain.

All thanks to me. And Josh. And the fact that Josh had risked his own life to save me. Because he loved me. He’d told me as much when Ivy was in the hospital, but he hadn’t wanted to leave her then, and I hadn’t wanted him to, either. Ivy was my friend, and she needed Josh right then. End of story.

But the question was, did Josh
still
love me? If all the tongue-on-tongue sessions those two were having today were any indication, he did not. It seemed like something had changed while I’d been down in St. Barths. Josh and Ivy were definitely in deep now.

I sighed, longing for Upton all over again. But did I really want him, or did I just want to prove to Josh and Ivy that I’d moved on, too?

“So, how was your break?” I asked.
Please don’t tell me you spent the entire time fooling around with Josh.

“It was good,” Ivy said. “I actually hung out a lot with my friends from last year—from my school in Boston? It was cool to see them again.”

“Yeah? What are they like?” I asked, glad the conversation was shifting away from our mutual love.

Ivy laughed. “They’re … fun. You’d like them. We kind of tear it up when we get together. Not that I could do much while I was recovering, but it was cool.”

“What do you mean, ‘tear it up’?” I asked as we arrived at our floor. I pushed the stairwell door open and we stepped into the hall.

She lifted a shoulder. “They’re big into the music scene and a lot of them are skate- or snowboarders, so with them it’s all about going to clubs and staying out all night and daring each other to do insane things. They actually built a skate park on the roof of my house the last night we were home. I still can’t believe my dad let them do that,” she said with a fond laugh.

“Wow. Sounds like fun,” I said. And very different from the Easton crowd.

“Yeah. They’re cool,” she said wistfully. “I always thought I’d have a group like that at Easton, but I never really jelled with anyone here that way.” Then she focused on me and blushed. “I mean, until recently.”