Read See Dick Cook: A Culinary Voyage for the Average Man Online
Authors: Kelly Labonte
Tags: #Cookbooks; Food & Wine, #Teen & Young Adult
See Dick Cook: A Culinary Voyage for the Average Man (2 page)
DICK’S DONENESS CHART
Remember Dick – meat will continue to cook for several minutes after it is removed from heat. To prevent overcooking, you will want to remove your beef slightly before it reaches the desired temperature.
Dick Likes It Creamy Caesar Salad Dressing
Absolutely the easiest, tastiest Caesar salad dressing you've ever had. Keep a batch of this on hand.
| 1 | jar | Hellman’s Mayonnaise |
| 4 | tbsp | Parmesan cheese |
| 4 | cloves | Garlic, minced |
| 2 | tbsp | Red wine vinegar |
| 2 | tbsp | Balsamic vinegar |
| ½ | tsp | Parsley |
| 2 | tbsp | Milk |
Procedure
Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Return the dressing mixture to the mayonnaise jar for use with Caesar salad and other recipes.
Servings: 20
Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy
Preparation Time: 10 minutes
Cooking Time:
Inactive Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour and 10 minutes
Dicks Tips
If you can find the squeeze bottle style of mayonnaise, this is a good choice for the dressing. It's easy to use, and you can differentiate between your regular mayo and your Caesar salad dressing. Always keep some on hand in the fridge. The dressing will keep for the life of the mayo. And whatever you do Dick, DO NOT substitute Miracle Whip or some other "mayonnaise type" dressing. Stick with the real stuff.
Dick’s Cheater Garlic Butter
Make a batch of this garlic butter and keep in a plastic container in the fridge for garlic bread, croutons, or whatever the need may be.
| 1 | cup | Becel Margarine |
| 3 | cloves | Garlic, crushed |
| 3 | tbsp | Parmesan cheese |
| 2 | tsp | Dried parsley |
Procedure
Mix all ingredients together in a plastic storage container and let sit for at least two hours. Keep handy and use as required.
Servings: 12
Yield: 1 cup
Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy
Preparation Time: 5 minutes
Cooking Time:
Total Time: 5 minutes
Dicks Tips
For a simpler version in a pinch, substitute the fresh garlic for 2 tablespoons of garlic powder. Make sure you don't mix this up with garlic salt however or your butter will be salty tasting. Also – shoot for the Olive Oil version of your Becel if you can find it.
Dick's Tzatziki Sauce
How do you pronounce tzatziki? No idea - ask a Greek guy. But man is it good as a spread or dip.
| 1 | cup | Greek style plain yogurt |
| ½ | cup | Sour cream |
| 1 | lg | English cucumber, peeled, seeded, finely grated then drained |
| 2 | tbsp | Olive oil |
| 2 | tbsp | Fresh dill, chopped fine |
| 1 | tbsp | Lemon juice |
| 2 | cloves | Garlic, minced |
| ½ | tsp | Sea salt |
| ¼ | tsp | White pepper |
Procedure
Pretty simple stuff here Dick. Throw all of the ingredients in a bowl, and stir until well blended.
Refrigerate for at least two hours before serving, to allow all the flavours to blend.
Stir once more before serving. All done.
Servings: 8
Yield: 2 cups
Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy
Preparation Time: 20 minutes
Inactive Time: 2 hours
Total Time: 2 hours and 20 minutes
Dicks Tips
An English cucumber is the long skinny variety you see in the grocery store, as opposed to its shorter, girthier cousin. Peel the skin off then cut the cucumber in half lengthwise to scoop out the seeds. Take the two halves and grate them finely into a bowl then hand squeeze the excess moisture out before adding to the mix. This will prevent a runny dip.
Your Greek Yogurt will be found with all the other yogurt in the dairy section of the store. It's plain, thicker and generally better for you. If you can't find any, you can substitute regular plain yogurt in its place, but I suggest you just look harder.
Six Month Mari-Me-Nara Sauce
Aptly named Six Month Mari-Me-Nara Sauce due to the fact it took 6 months, a lot of alcohol and a little blackmail to get the recipe for this sauce. It's a fantastic base for any pasta dish calling for tomato sauce and it’s called for in numerous recipes throughout this book.
| 2 | tbsp | Butter |
| 2 | tbsp | Olive oil |
| 2 | | Cooking onions finely chopped |
| 8 | | Garlic cloves, crushed |
| 2 | 28oz | Cans of plum tomatoes |
| 1 | 5.5oz | Can of tomato paste |
| 2 | tbsp | Basil pesto (Classico is good) |
| 2 | tbsp | Herbs de Provence seasoning |
| 3 | tbsp | Coarse sea salt |
| 1 | tbsp | Ground black pepper |
Procedure
Melt butter along with olive oil over medium heat in a large sauce pot.
Add chopped onion and sauté on medium heat for approximately 10 minutes, or until onions are soft. Stir in crushed garlic.
Blend both cans of tomatoes, including juice in a blender until smooth and then transfer to sauce pot.
Add tomato paste, pesto, Herbs de Provence, salt and pepper. Simmer uncovered over low heat for at least 1 hour, stirring occasionally to allow the tastes to fully come out. The longer the simmer, the better the flavour!
Servings: 8
Yield: Approximately 6 Cups
Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Easy
Preparation Time: 20 minutes
Cooking Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour and 20 minutes
Dicks Tips
What the hell is pesto and where do you find it? It's a paste like sauce normally made from fresh basil, garlic, olive oil, and parmesan cheese. It can be found at the grocery store where spaghetti sauces are located. Look near the top shelf Dick, as the jars are generally small. Pesto is also a Dick Staple so be sure to keep it on hand. This sauce is a sure fire hit Dick and can be used as a base sauce for most any pasta dish, or on the side as a dip with some fresh garlic bread.
Dick’s Garlic Croutons
Man does not live by bread alone Dick, but this simple crouton recipe comes in very handy for use in salads or soups.
| 1 | loaf | French bread - preferably a day or two old, cut into bite sized cubes |
| 2 | tsp | Herbes de Provence Coarse sea salt Black pepper |
| ¼ | cup | Garlic flavored olive oil |
Procedure
Preheat oven to 425° F.
In a large bowl, combine your bread cubes with the Herbes de Provence and a light sprinkling of salt and pepper.
Take your garlic flavoured olive oil and lightly drizzle the bread cubes, tossing to coat.
Arrange on an un-greased cookie sheet and bake for 10 - 15 minutes or until lightly browned.
Remove from oven and allow to cool.
Store in an air-tight container until ready to use.
Servings: 8
Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy
Oven Temperature: 425°F
Preparation Time: 5 minutes
Cooking Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes
Dicks Tips
Any left-over bread will do here Dick, so long as it isn't too dense and you don't want it too fresh. You can freeze these for a rainy day as well in Ziploc bags.
Sultry Sour Cream
Use this in your Bad Boy Bruschetta recipe, or as a dipping sauce for potato wedges and other appetizers.
| 2 | cups | Sour cream |
| 4 | cloves | Garlic, crushed |
| 2 | tsp | Coarse sea salt |
| 2 | tsp | Pepper |
Procedure
Mix all ingredients together and keep refrigerated until ready to use.
Servings: 10
Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy
Preparation Time: 5 minutes
Cooking Time:
Inactive Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour and 5 minutes
Dicks Tips
You can make this once and it should keep for about three weeks. The longer it sits, the better it tastes!
IT’S A GUY THING – SNACKS AND APP’S
“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”
~ Jarod Kintz
A Total Cheese Ball
Easy on the cheesy lines Dick...actions speak louder than words.
| 2 | pkgs | Cream cheese, room temperature |
| ½ | cup | Sharp cheddar cheese, grated |
| ¼ | cup | Dried chives |
| 1 | 12oz pkg | Bacon bits |
| 1 | small | Red onion, finely chopped |
| 1 | tsp | Garlic powder |
Procedure
In a medium sized bowl, combine all ingredients until thoroughly blended.
Using your hands (wash them first Dick), shape cheese mixture into a ball and place on a glass serving dish. Refrigerate for thirty minutes and you're ready to go. Serve with a selection of crackers, spread around the cheese ball.