Selfless: A Relentless Series Novella (The Relentless Series Book 3) (6 page)

I sighed. “It’s a long story.”

Stephen looked around his room. “I’m not going anywhere.”

My laugh sounded hollow. I sat down in the chair next to the bed. Taylor leaned into Stephen and settled next to him on the bed. They wanted a juicy story. “Rhys was my first…everything. We’ve known each other our whole lives. I honestly thought we would get married one day.” The pain from all my memories came into sharp focus. “I woke up one morning to a letter. Rhys used to sneak in my window every night. The day he left, to wake up and him not be next to me was…startling to say the least.”

I sucked in a sharp breath before continuing. “The letter was a brush off. He said he loved me, and he wanted what was best for me. There were things I didn’t know, but he needed to get away and make something of himself. None of it made sense. His dad was abusive, verbally and physically to his mom and him and his brother. I knew even though he tried to hide it from me, but I assumed it had something to do with that. All I knew was that I was heartbroken and all alone.”

Taylor took my hand in hers and squeezed, giving me the strength I needed to continue. Rhys coming back had brought every emotion back to the surface. I was raw and exposed, and I hated it. “We made promises to each other and suddenly I had to face making decisions about my future by myself. I think one reason I chose acting was because I was able to pretend to be okay. My career took off and I never looked back. It took forever, but I convinced myself that I wasn’t hurting. Rhys isn’t the one who got away; he’s the one that left me. I want to forgive him, but I’m not sure I can. It’s not like I need to anyway.” To my horror, a lone tear slipped down my cheek. I brushed it away quickly and stood up from the chair. “I need to go.”

Stephen grabbed for my hand, wincing with the sudden movement. “He’s an idiot if he lets you go again. Amanda, you’re one of the best people I know.  I’m not his biggest fan for obvious reasons,” he said, glancing at Taylor. “But I was being an idiot and everyone knows that she’s amazing, but so are you, and you deserve to be happy. Rhys isn’t a bad guy; he just wants what we all want. I give the guy props for not moving in on my girl when she said she was still trying to figure things out with me. For what it’s worth, I think you should hear him out. Maybe there really is more to the story than he’s letting on.”

I dropped my head and shook it once. Stephen had every reason in the world to hate Rhys, but he was telling me to listen to him. As much as I wanted to push Rhys away, I couldn’t. He was an unsolved mystery that I would never be able to move on from.

Leaning down, I kissed Stephen softly on the forehead.

“Thank you.”

“If you need anything, you know where to find us.”

“This really isn’t why I came here. I wanted to see how you were feeling and see what I could do to help you guys.”

Taylor smiled softly. “We know that, honey, but sometimes you need to let us take care of you too. You’ve already done so much. Just let your friends help
you
for once.”

I blinked away the tears and faked a smile; time to take a page out of Taylor’s book. “I’ll be fine. So, what time do you blow this popsicle joint tomorrow?”

The sand raked between my fingers as I stared out into the ocean. Being here made my problems feel so small and that was what I needed right now. Rhys hadn’t called or texted in the past week. All the hot and cold with him was exhausting. We were supposed to be past all the high school drama, but I felt like a kid again when I was around him. He evoked feelings in me that I hadn’t experienced since I was seventeen.

When someone sat down in the sand next to me, without looking I knew it was him. The scent of his cologne filled my senses, and I had to keep myself from reaching for him. Even though he had left in a snit, I still craved him.

“I’m sorry.”

I stared out at the cresting waves, trying to stay calm. “You’ve been saying that a lot lately, Rhys.”

“It’s because I’m an idiot. I regretted leaving as soon as I did it.”

“Yet it still took you a week to find me.” The stubborn mulish expression was the first thing I saw when I turned to look at him. “If you had stayed long enough to listen to me I would have told you that I was freaking out because things were moving fast, not because I regretted what happened, or that I wasn’t ready to move forward.”

“I shouldn’t have left, and I should have listened to you. You aren’t the only one scared here, Amanda.”

“If you’re so scared, maybe you should try talking to me.”

He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. “You’re right. I know you are, but I can’t change how poorly I reacted. Damn it, you know how important family is to me. That’s exactly what you are Mandi, you’re my family. I should have given you more time to process things instead of just jumping to the wrong conclusions.”

The sound of the ocean was the only thing interrupting our silence. There was so much to say, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually say any of it. God I wanted to get past all this, but if Rhys wasn’t willing to do any of the work, it wasn’t worth the heartache it would cause me.

“I’m leaving things up to you, Rhys. I’ll be here and that’s not changing.”

He was quiet for a long minute.

“I have to go to Chicago tomorrow, but I’ll be back.”

I closed my eyes. “Goodbye, Rhys.”

“Amanda, I—”

“Just go.”

“Just know that I’m doing all of this for you. When you’re ready, I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

I could tell he wanted to say more, but mercifully he decided against it. Everything inside of me wanted to shut down and not feel anything. Rhys had already bled me dry before, so why should I give him the chance to do it again. If he decided to actually make an effort, maybe I would listen. Him dashing off for work at every chance would ruin us before we even really started.

“I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything. He knew me well enough, even this version of me, to know I wouldn’t lay my feelings out of the line again. I might act bubbly and happy all the time to the world, but honestly I was just a reserved, scared little girl inside.

He cupped my face with his hand and I fought the urge to lean into him. His lips brushed my forehead softly and then he was gone, taking what was left of my battered heart with him.

Rhys texted me the next day and the day after that. For a week he made sure he wrote at least twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. It made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy that he was going out of his way to talk to me. I sent him funny memes and he sent me jokes. We weren’t really connecting on a deeper level, but we were trying to find a new normal between us. I was busy with work, we both were, but things seemed different. He told me about the little bed and breakfast that he had found. Rhys wanted to clean it up, get it running and sell it for a tidy profit. This was a side of Rhys I had never seen before and I loved it. Watching him in his element was a turn on.

One afternoon while I was waiting to run lines with Connor, things got a little spicy in our text messages. I covered my mouth in shock and looked around wildly to make sure that no one could actually see what Rhys had sent. It occurred to me that I was being stupid, but no one knew what was going on between us and I wanted to keep it that way. My fingers flew over the keyboard and within a few dirty text messages I was squirming in my seat. The promise in his words had me counting down the hours until his plane landed.

He sent flowers and called every night. I fell a little more in love with the man Rhys had become every day. His flight was scheduled to come in at eight that evening and I was impatiently waiting for the director to call an end to our day. Connor was standing next to me, listening to me bitch about how I wanted to be waiting at the airport for Rhys, when his deep, husky voice met my ears.

“It makes me happier than it should that you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you, Mandi.”

I whipped around and threw myself into his arms. “You’re here early!”

The smile spreading across his face was breathtaking. God, I’d missed this man.

“I caught an earlier flight. It might have cost me some pride, begging someone to give me their seat, and two hundred dollars, but I’m here.”

“I still have a few more hours of work,” I said, frowning.

“It’s fine, Shortcake. I’ll just hang out and watch you in your element.”

I bit my lip. “Are you sure? I can pretend to have food poisoning or something just as bad.”

Rhys and Connor laughed at that. I’d forgotten that Connor was still standing there waiting for me to run lines. He held out his hand to Rhys, and they did some bro backslapping hug thing.

“I can help cover for you guys if you want to sneak out,” Connor offered.

I grinned, but Rhys shook his head. “I’m not going to be the cause of you leaving early. It’s only a few hours and I can get some work done while you’re working.”

Connor laughed at me as I grumbled about Rhys ruining all my fun. “You sound just like Sophia.”

“How’s she doing?” Rhys asked Connor.

“She’s terrific. We’re on the longest part right now because she’s about to pop, but she’s over the moon that we’re having a girl.”

“I’m so excited for you guys.” I was sincere in my words even though I could taste the bile threatening the back of my throat.  

Connor gave me a knowing look and patted my back. I don’t know how he understood what I was feeling, but he didn’t push. “Rhys, are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Go,” he said waving me away. “I’ll be fine.”

I gave him a quick kiss and shoved Connor towards the set. Our director was the loud boisterous type. He wanted everything perfect before it went on film. We’d been running the same lines all week, but they still weren’t where he wanted them. I cringed every time he sighed because it meant he was about to lay into one of us, or make our evening longer.

“Connor, can you actually act like you like her? Seriously, wrap your arms around her, grab her wrist. She’s about to leave you for fuck’s sake. You’re supposed to be terrified of losing her.”

I kept sneaking looks over at Rhys and that wasn’t helping Connor’s concentration. I shot him an apologetic smile and he winked. We started again and this time it was perfect. When I caught Rhys attention he gave me a weak smile. The look in his eye was indecipherable, but I was nervous about his reaction. Something gave me the distinct impression that he shouldn’t be here.

Connor and I stepped away to sit back down with Rhys. As we were walking, Connor reached out and squeezed my waist. It surprised me, but it wasn’t anything other than an affectionate gesture between friends. Before I could register what was happening, Rhys pulled me away from Connor, shoving me behind him and was in Connor’s face. Several of the crew started to stare as Connor pushed him back. Even though I tried to get between them, I couldn’t. I grabbed at Rhys arm as he went to punch Connor. The force of his arm moving back knocked me back into the director’s chair.

Connor and Rhys both turned as I tumbled to the ground. I caught myself quickly, but Rhys was on his knees next to me immediately. I flinched away as he reached to cup my face.

“I scared you,” he whispered, tears filling his eyes. “You know I would never hit you right?”

I bit my lip. “Rhys, I know—”

“What the fuck is going on back here?”

Shit.

Our director was the last person that needed to be here. He would throw Rhys off set in a second if he thought he was causing problems. He was, but I didn’t want him to leave.

“Nothing Shane,” I said quickly.

“Amanda, why are you on the floor? Who is this guy?” He looked at Connor. “And why do you look so mad?”

Connor tried to straighten his expression. “Nothing is wrong. We were just having a conversation about something, but if we need your help we’ll make sure to call you.”

“I’m just clumsy and I fell.” I grabbed Rhys arm and hoisted myself up, trying to hide the fact that my arm hurt where it had hit the chair. “See? All good.”

“Okay,” he said, skeptically. “We’re done for the day, so you guys can head out.”

We nodded and said goodbye quickly. I grabbed Rhys arm and he followed behind me silently. Connor trailed us, and I had a feeling he was holding out to give Rhys an earful once we were far enough away from the crew.

I waited until we were by my car before turning towards Rhys.

“What in the hell is your problem? Why would you do something like that?” I hissed as quietly as I could.

“Because I’m a jealous idiot, that’s why.” He wouldn’t look at me as he spoke and it made me sick to my stomach. This was an accident, he didn’t actually mean to hurt me, but I could see the guilt he was trying to hide. “Connor, I’m so sorry for freaking out on you like that. It was a dick move, but you touched Amanda and I lost my mind.”

Connor nodded once. He still looked unhappy, but considerably less pissed than he had a few minutes earlier. “Look, I get it, that’s your girl. This is her job though. If you can’t handle it then you need to stay away. You can’t screw up her career by pulling douchebag moves like that. You
know
I’m happily married. What happens if next time it’s some punk kid that she’s working with?”

Rhys ran his hand down his face. “I know. This isn’t me. I’m not this jealous type of asshole normally.”

I was in shock. Not that I was scared of Rhys, but this was a side of him I had never seen before. It wasn’t one I wanted to see again. Even in high school when guys would hit on me he would blow it off because he knew I loved him, and only him. What in the hell had happened to cause him to react like that?

“Are you okay, Mandi? I’m so sorry, baby.”

He ran his hand down my arm and I nodded. “I’m fine,” I whispered. “Can we just go home now?”

“Of course.”

I was too tense to drive, so I pushed Rhys towards the driver’s seat and handed him my keys. Connor waved as we climbed into my car. Rhys looked tense as we drove. As we got closer to my house, the tick in his right cheek became more noticeable.

“Rhys, what’s going on in your head?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy I’m here with you.”

I narrowed my eyes. “We promised not to lie to one another.”

He sighed. “Amanda, I’m not lying. I’m just trying not to beat myself up over the fact that I hurt you in a very stupid,
very public
way. God, I could have cost you your job.”

I stared out the window for a few minutes. He was right. He could have cost me my job if Shane hadn’t backed off.

“Can you explain why you reacted like that? You know Connor. You also know his very beautiful, very
pregnant
wife,” I said mocking him. “Do you not trust me?”

“That’s not it at all. I can’t explain it, something inside me just snapped when I saw him touch you. I saw red, Amanda.”

“Quit calling me Amanda, either call me Mandi or Shortcake, but damn it you need to quit calling me Amanda because bad things happen when you do.”

He shot me a look out of the side of his eye. “What are you talking about?”

“Before you left you called me Amanda for two days.”

He was quiet until we pulled into the driveway. His silhouette seemed stark against the light streaming in from the window.

“I’m sorry.”

He said it so softly I almost missed it. I cupped his face in my hands and turned him towards me.

“Rhys, just talk to me. Please don’t shut me out.”

When he nodded I felt a little better, but it still freaked me out that he wouldn’t look me in the eye. He let me lead him into the house and we had a good dinner despite his somber mood. Nothing I said could help lift his mood. We went to bed that night with his arms wrapped around me, but when I woke up the next morning his pillow was cold.

The sense of déjà vu hit me as my fingers wrapped around the paper lying on his side of the bed. It was difficult seeing his bold handwriting. I tried to keep the tears at bay while I read the six words written on the paper.

I’m so sorry. I love you.

For almost a week I walked around in a daze. No one knew what happened, and I wasn’t going out of my way to tell them. I played the part of the best friend and everyone seemed to buy it. When I told Rhys he would hurt me worse if he left this time I wasn’t lying. I was broken and nothing was going to fix it this time.