Selling the Drama (29 page)

Toby and Charlotte returned to the dining
room, taking their seats opposite Jenna and Chad, who had both
resumed eating, Chad far slower than Jenna, but still up for the
task. Charlotte slid her eyes to the clock, noting that not quite
ten minutes seemed to have passed by. Ten minutes for the universe
to turn Chad inside out, pull him to pieces, and then put him back
together again.

The potatoes were still steaming.

Chad put his hands flat onto the table in
front of him. He looked over at Toby with a gleam in his eye, his
face breaking out into a wide grin. "Now this," he gestured to
himself before hitching a thumb over his shoulder, "this here,
totally reminds me of the time Toby fell onto his arse while
singing 'All I Want for Christmas'."

Toby stared at him for a long moment before
breaking out into laughter, Jenna already having beaten him to it
with a case of the giggles that got her started on hiccupping.
Charlotte looked over at her mother who was shaking in her chair, a
napkin pressed firmly against her mouth again to stifle her
laughter, her eyes shining brightly with unshed tears. Iris reached
out to pat Chad on the arm, her face full of an affection for him
that was truly touching to witness. Charlotte looked over at Chad
once more, marvelling at his ability to embrace humour in the face
of his own personal adversity. He was a truly inspirational person,
and definitely one of the bravest she had ever met.

PART THREE

Up and Down and Back Again

Time has a way of bleeding through the
seasons when people are happy. One child gives way to another, and
before you get too comfortable with that notion, a third comes
along, and since that seems to be going so well, a fourth is
added.

"You two need to invest in some birth
control," Jake bellowed out, entering the hospital room with Ellie
following close on his heels.

Toby laughed and flipped him off. "It's
evidence of my virility. Why would I stop that?"

"Just as well you're raking in the big
bucks. Dude, you have four kids. You're not quite thirty, but you
have four kids! You could be mistaken for a Bogan if it wasn't for
the wig and cape get up you throw over those expensive pansy arsed
suits you're always wearing. Seriously, here." Jake reached into
his pocket and took out his wallet. He pulled out a condom and
flung it at Toby, hitting him in the chest with it.

Toby caught it and threw it back at him.
"You still carry a condom in your wallet? How old are you?"

Ellie rolled her eyes and shouldered past
Jake so she could lean over the plastic hospital cot. She sighed,
reaching out to touch the pink wrapped bundle that held Toby and
Charlotte's third daughter. "So beautiful," Ellie whispered.

Toby refrained from making any jokes about
Jake and Ellie catching up on the baby front. He had been watching
them closely these last few months, Ellie in particular, whenever
they were around the kids, and Toby was not so sure their childless
state was the lifestyle choice Jake made it out to be. Charlotte
was saying nothing at all about it, which made him all the more
suspect. If it was the case, and they could not have kids, then he
was deeply sorry for them.

Having four was no accident for them; true,
Charlotte seemed to fall pregnant at the first hint of a return to
fertility after finishing up with breast feeding, but even taking
that into account, each new pregnancy was greeted with excitement
and a degree of expectancy. It had been easy and trouble free
before, so it should be easy and trouble free once again. Putting
some space between the babies had not been a consideration for
them. Toby had asked Charlotte after their third baby if she wanted
a break, he hardly expected her to keep having baby after baby, but
she had brushed him off and said she preferred it this way. Her
body could return to normal after they were done. Toby liked her
body just fine the way it was, stretching and shrinking, over and
again; he never tired of it changing and found her all the more
beautiful when she was swollen with one of their babies. He would
look at their children and wonder at the miracle of them having
come out of Charlotte's body. It was incredible and he was not
ashamed to admit how much the entire concept of motherhood
impressed him.

"You're freaking me out with this alphabet
thing though," Jake remarked. "There are twenty six letters; you
can't be serious."

Charlotte answered him this time. "It's just
the way it's worked out. It was accidental with Ashley and Breanna.
Deliberate with Courtney and Danielle. But I'm not having twenty
six babies Jake; you can relax."

"Thank fuck for that. I mean, I like being a
godfather, but I never intended on being The Godfather."

Ellie hit him in the chest. "Watch your
mouth!" She indicated to the baby with a nod.

Jake pulled a face. "She's a day old! She
can't even understand baby talk yet, much less swear words!"

"How do you know the others aren't around?"
Ellie demanded.

"Unless they're in the toilet all together
then I'd say I'm pretty safe," Jake replied with a roll of his
eyes.

"She's so cute, Charlotte," Ellie said,
approaching the bed and perching up on the side of it.

"Thanks. She's a bit smaller than the
others. I've never had one this small, she only just made it to
seven pounds."

As Ellie and Charlotte started talking
measurements and clothes sizes, Toby gestured for Jake to join him
in the hall. "I need a coffee, let's go for a walk."

"Sure thing."

They headed to the elevator and pressed the
button for the ground floor where the cafeteria was located. After
buying a sandwich and a coffee each, they found a table and sat
opposite each other, Jake looking over at Toby with a serious
expression that did not bode well for light conversation.

"Iris has asked me to look for Royce
again."

Toby frowned. "When?"

"This week. There's nothing there, I tried
to tell her but she's insistent on an investigation. There won't be
one. There's nothing to investigate. The police don't have the
resources to look for people who don't want to be found." Jake
continued eating, taking mouthfuls of coffee as he did so.

Toby sighed heavily, weary of this cycle.
"She gets like this every time a baby is born. I'll have a word to
her. Don't mention this to Charlotte. It's the last thing she needs
to start thinking about again. It's been more than eight years.
He's not coming back. I don't even think any of us really want him
to anymore, despite what Iris might have said to you. I think she
just wants closure more than anything else. To know why, and that's
not something she's going to get from anyone but Royce."

"Such a fucking coward. I used to like him,
back in the day. He was cool, easy to get along with. Not like my
old man, intense all the way down the line. I guess he was just
that bit too cool and easy; had us all going."

Toby shrugged at that. "I don't know what
the fuck to think about any of it."

"You think he ran off with another woman?"
Jake enquired, casting Toby a curious look.

"Yeah. I do. I would never have picked that
he and Iris were anything but perfect, but then Charlotte and I
were living down in Brisbane when he left, so things might have
changed and Iris might be holding out on us about it. But between
you and me, my money's on him being shacked up with someone else,
far away from here, with no intention of ever coming back. What I
really hate, out of this whole situation, is the way he's shit on
Charlotte. That pisses me off the most. She still misses him. Every
time we have a baby, every christening, every birthday, Easter and
Christmas; I see it on her face and I know there's not a damned
thing I can do to make her feel better about it."

Jake nodded, finishing up the last of his
coffee. "Totally agree, mate. Totally. Come on, let's get back up
there before Ellie smuggles your latest out in her handbag." He
stood and turned to head towards the exit.

Toby reached out and put his hand on Jake's
arm to stop him. "Hey, is everything alright there with that?" It
was the closest he could come to asking outright, and even this was
pushing the boundaries into territory Toby felt was really none of
his business.

Jake looked at him for a moment too long
before shaking his head. "It isn't going to happen mate. Life sucks
sometimes; it is what it is."

Toby released Jake's arm, almost sorry he
had even asked. There was no comfort in knowing their loss. "I'm
sorry."

"Yeah, so am I. I'm just going to have stick
to living vicariously through your lot."

"Isn't there other options for you
both?"

Jake shook his head. "We're not ready for
that yet. Maybe later; we'll see." He turned then and started to
walk away, the conversation done with.

Toby followed a few paces behind. The nature
of individual existences and the degree of variance between them
never failed to ground him. There were times, particularly such as
these, where the greatest of joys would be eclipsed by grip of
foreboding. That he had fared too well, travelled far too great a
distance from his roots; it all seemed extraordinary. He would wait
through each birth, anticipating the worst; this would be the one
to die, the one when Charlotte would die. It mattered nothing that
infant mortality was low, that women rarely died in childbirth
anymore. What mattered, was that he had been on a winning streak,
and that was surely due to come to a close. Nobody got everything
they ever wanted. It was the nature of life, the reality of
existence. Watching Jake walk ahead of him, he wondered why he was
blessed with four healthy children while his best mate was unable
to even have one.

Happiness was a state of being Toby regarded
with suspicion. He embraced it, relished in it, worked at ensuring
it; yet he did not trust it. It was fragile, impermanent; he lived
each day bracing himself for the loss of it. He wished he could be
the type of man who was not inclined to look over his shoulder
quite so much, but some habits were just too ingrained to let go
of.

This was the time that mattered. The still
after a birth, when there were no more visitors, no more nurses, no
more noise, and no more lights on. Just Toby and Charlotte with a
new baby nestled across them as they lay squashed together on the
narrow hospital bed.

"What am I going to do with all these
girls?" Toby wondered out loud.

"Nothing different to what you'll do with
Ashley."

"Bullshit. He's not going to give me any
worry. But three of these reincarnations of you? I remember what
you were like when you were a teenager." Toby grinned at Charlotte
in the darkness, kissing her on the temple as he held a tiny hand
loosely between his thumb and forefinger.

"What did you feel the first time you saw
me?" Charlotte asked, snuggling into his arms deeper, so tired from
giving birth and being awake for nearly twenty hours.

"An erection."

Charlotte burst into giggles, giving him a
light shove. "Be serious!"

He laughed in reply. "I am! Why do you think
I'm freaking out about having three girls? I know what boys are
like. I was one. I'm still like that around you!" He kissed her
again, on the lips this time. "Do you think you might agree to us
getting married any time soon? Seeing as we have four kids
now."

"We can't afford to get married. We have
four kids." Charlotte kissed him one more time before slumping down
further against him.

"While I admire your budgeting mindset,
that's hardly true and you know it. We could have the biggest
wedding you could ever dream of." Toby took more of Danielle's
weight from Charlotte's arms, sensing that she was ready to fall
asleep herself. "Do you want me to put her in the cot now? I should
probably go so you can get some sleep." He made no move to leave
though. Any separation, for even one night, was barely tolerable
for him.

"No. I want you to stay. Just stay,"
Charlotte murmured sleepily, throwing her leg over his.

"I'm not supposed to."

"Who cares? Use your best barrister voice on
them if they tell you off."

"I have a best barrister voice?"

"You have a best barrister everything.
Voice, walk, look; the whole package. It's very sexy." Charlotte's
voice was tinged with exhaustion as she teased him.

"I thought I was supposed to be scaring them
into letting me stay, not turning them on," Toby teased, running
his hand through her hair as she closed her eyes.

"You could make them so hot for you they'll
agree to letting you stay just so they can perve on you."

He laughed softly. "Yeah, that's what I'll
do. Go to sleep. I've got baby covered." He kissed her on the
forehead, leaving his lips there as he inhaled the scent of her
skin and her hair, feeling the comfort of her right down to his
bones. Just as he thought she was asleep, she spoke once more.

"Ellie and Jake can't have kids."

Toby nodded, even though her eyes were still
closed and she couldn't see it. "I know. Do you know why?"

"No. But it hardly matters, does it? The
outcome is the same. My heart aches for them; we are so lucky."

"Yes. We are. Now go to sleep."

She nodded, turning slightly to face him,
her body slipping closer to his. He hoisted his tiny sleeping
daughter up higher onto his chest and watched them both as they
slept. The perfection of such a sight was absolute.

"Why is Granny ruining the hedge?" Ashley
asked as he leaned against the veranda railing, peering down into
the pool area with interest. Charlotte got up from the outdoor
lounge chair, Danielle attached to her, feeding, so she could take
a look at what Ashley was talking about. Iris was down in the pool
area, hacking at the hedge with an axe, making a mess of what had
formerly been a very nice hedge.