Shadow of Hope: Book 4 - Shadow Series (13 page)

“Someone’s here—I have to go.” Julia backed from the room, with a wink.

Violet heard voices.  She tried to ease her nervousness by trying to guess who was speaking.  She knew she heard Ivy’s voice, so she knew one of the male voices had to be Jonas’s, although he and Caleb had similar voices.  Then she heard a voice that she knew all too well, that of Miles.  It made her heart flutter in her chest. 

How would he react to a surprise wedding?

As Miles approached the door to his sister and Caleb’s house, he wondered what the dinner was all about, and why it was a formal affair. Even though he couldn't figure out the reason for it, he'd worn a suit, anyway.  Perhaps she was about to announce that she was increasing—but why the formality?  He could only think it was just an idea in order to break the monotony of their dinners—something different.

Julia swung open the door and invited him in.  “Oh,” she said, “a new suit?  I love it.”

“Yes, the bank manager must always look the part,” he said. “So what’s the occasion, anyway?”

“It’s a surprise,” she said.

“When is it due?” he asked.

“Any minute,” she said with a snicker.

Jonas, Caleb, Quinn, and their wives, Ivy and Rose, greeted Miles warmly.

Mrs. Jeffries wasn’t there, but strangely, Reverend Martin was, even though his wife wasn’t. Then he remembered that Mrs. Martin had just delivered a baby, so naturally, she’d not be attending.  He looked around.  Another strange thing, was that Violet wasn’t there, either.  It seemed to be all couples, except for him and Martin.  Well, he supposed, he’d be happy to be Martin’s dinner partner. 

Everyone had been comfortably seated in the formal parlor, not in the sitting room, which was another abnormality.  Now everyone seemed to be looking at Julia, wondering, as he was, what the occasion might be, and what might be coming next.  Julia and Caleb were off whispering in the corner. So far this was shaping up to be the oddest dinner party he’d ever attended.

Finally, Julia stepped forward and silently clapped her hands together.  “You are all probably wondering what the occasion is. Well, it’s a wedding!  Caleb would you come up and stand here, and Miles here, next to Reverend Martin—there, by the fireplace.  Ivy, would you stand on his right side?  Miles wondered if Caleb and Julia were going to renew their vows.  Then he noticed all eyes were on him.

“What the deuce is this about?” Miles said.

Caleb and Ivy shrugged, but did as they were told.  Then Julia whispered something to Jonas, who then got up, slid onto the piano bench, and began to play the wedding march. 

Miles felt a definite feeling of foreboding.  She wouldn’t! His dear sister wouldn’t dare—or would she?

In walked Violet, looking like a wood nymph.  His heart began to pound at the first sight of her—she looked lovelier than he’d ever seen her before.  That was when the warning bells in his brain went off.  Oh no!

Violet came over and took his hand.  “Will you marry me, Miles?”

“No!”
he yelled, loudly.

Violet’s eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink. 

Miles swung around to face the shocked guests.  “I have no idea whose idea this was, but it’s a cruel and heartless one.”

Violet began to cry, which only served to drive Miles into a dither.  He hated to see her cry.  He yelled, “Everyone out.  Give us some privacy, please!”

He never saw people scatter for the door so quickly.  Miles watched as everyone gathered to stand in the yard, counting to make sure that every single one of them was outside.

He turned to Violet and said in his calmest voice, “What’s going on?  Whose idea was this?”

She stood there, quietly weeping.  “Julia’s,” she said in a voice so soft he could barely hear it.

“Why?” he asked.

“I love you, that’s why.” She sniffed.

Miles had to clench his hands behind his back to resist the temptation to grab her and hold her until she stopped her weeping.  He held them so tightly; one hand had already gone numb

“You love me—I’ve heard that before, Violet.  Have you any idea what you did to me when you broke off our betrothal?  Have you any idea what I’ve gone through for the past few months?  Have you?”

She nodded, still weeping silently.  “I’m so sorry.  Would you let me explain?”

“I’ll give as long as you gave me to answer you when you broke off with me without any notice.  Go on,” he said, “explain.”

“I’d waited so long for my teaching certificate and it was something I’ve wanted since I was a child.  I found myself loving the job and the children.  The feeling I had in Salina, working and living independently, was so rewarding, but I never stopped loving you, Miles.  I even told you that when I broke it off, that it wasn’t because I didn’t love you, it was because I thought I wanted more than that.  I’ll say it: I was selfish, but I thought I wanted more out of life than just being someone's wife.  The long distance relationship was hard on us both, and I thought it best, then, that each of us be free to explore and find ourselves.”

She patted her eyes with the handkerchief again.  “I met Gavin McKenzie, and we were just friends, but for some reason I imagined he reminded me of my father, and that was why I wanted to be with him so much—I do miss my father, so.  Being with Gavin made me feel like I was with my father again.  Toward the end, after he proposed without so much as a kiss or holding of hands, I knew I’d been fooled.  Rose told me that our father can never be replaced and that I shouldn’t even try—she was right.

“But by then it seemed Gavin wouldn’t take no for an answer.  He claimed he had time and money invested in me, and I couldn’t refuse his proposal, but I didn’t want him anymore!  I realized how much I missed you every time I saw you with Peggy.  What really reinforced how much I loved you, was seeing you at the camp, and not just because of your gallant rescues, but because of
you
.  I felt so safe knowing you were watching out for me at camp.  I loved seeing you first thing in the mornings, I loved seeing how good you were with the children, and I realized that I’d foolishly thrown all of that away.

“I’m sorry for everything, especially this horrible evening,” she started to weep again.  Miles couldn’t control himself another moment.  He held out his arms, and Violet flew into them and wept on his shoulder. 

Miles, pulled her tighter and tighter; how good she felt in his arms. 

“Please don’t let me go, Miles, not ever,” she cried.

Miles was silent this time.  Should he trust her again?  He wanted to—God knew how much he wanted to.  He felt led to forgive her and give her that chance. 

Don’t we all make mistakes?  Look what his sister had done to Caleb?

He squeezed her tighter and then tried to push her away gently, just far enough to see her face to tell her, but she refused to be moved, and only held onto him tighter. 

“No!  Don’t push me away. I love you, and in your arms is the only place I ever want to be,” she cried.

On impulse, Miles held her tighter.  He swayed back and forth with her. 

Finally he said into her ear, “I don’t want to push you away, Violet—ever!  I love you so much it hurts inside, like I’ve been turned inside out.  You have no idea, how much I love you—still.”  He hugged her again.  “I just wanted to push you away far enough to look into your eyes to see the truth there,”

“No!” she cried.  “Not yet.  Just hold me for a while longer.  It feels so good to be in your arms once again.  You have no idea.  I love you so much, Miles.  I even went against my better judgment in going through with this tonight, because Julia made me see that since I broke off our betrothal, it had to be me that put us back together—forever.”

“I need to see your face, Violet.”

Reluctantly, slowly, she moved away enough for him to see her face.  He wiped away a few tears from her cheeks, and then pulled her hair down so he could run his fingers through it, and in so doing undid all of the braids. “There is no one,” he murmured, “no one in all of the world like you, you know.  I had to face that fact, and accept being alone for the rest of my life, because I knew there would never be another you.”

He studied her face.  “Tell me you love me, Violet.”

Looking straight into his eyes she said, “I love you, Miles.”

He bent to kiss her.  She responded, and they ended up kissing in a tearful frenzy. 

“Oh, Miles,” she murmured.  “Am I forgiven?  Will you let Martin marry us tonight?  Because my insides are burning to be loved all the way, with God’s blessing.  I need to show you how much I love and desire you.”

Miles looked deeply into her eyes.  “Say it again,” Miles prompted.  “Tell me you love me again.”

“I love you, Miles Croft and I promise I will never hurt you again.”

Miles smiled.  “One more kiss and we’ll call everyone back in for the wedding,” he said.

Miles broke off the most heated kiss that he and Violet had ever shared.  He felt like the luckiest man in the world.  He pulled her with him to the side door to call everyone back inside.

With everyone standing in the parlor staring at them, Miles announced, “Let the service begin!”

Everyone clapped their hands, and Julia was a mixture of smiles and tears.  “We all prayed outside, and God delivered,” she said. “Thank you, Lord.”

“Just let me freshen Violet up a bit.” Julia took Violet’s hand to pull her into the bedroom, but Miles fended his sister off. 

“No.  She stays.” He put his arm around her protectively.  “We aren’t ready to be parted again, even for a few minutes,” he said.  Miles looked at his bride.  “We have to make up for the three months we spent apart, and besides, she looks beautiful, just the way she is.  Her pink eyes even match her dress.”  He kissed her reddened nose.

Violet soaked up Miles’s touch like a sponge soaks up water.  She couldn’t get close enough to him. While they repeated their vows, instead of just holding hands, he held her in his arms. 

She refused to let him go.  When she repeated her vows to him, she felt tears roll down her face, but they were tears of happiness.  She hesitated before one part of the vows and she looked deep into his eyes and said emphatically, “
Til Death do us part, Miles
.”  He hugged her even tighter. 

When Martin pronounced them man and wife, she couldn’t believe she was finally, Mrs. Croft, and she clung to Miles.  Martin said, “You may kiss the bride,” and Miles did. Despite the gasps around them, they didn’t break the kiss off quickly.  Finally, Julia cleared her throat, and Caleb said, “You can finish that kiss later; I’m hungry.”

Julia had a sit-down, full course meal served in the dining room, but Miles and Violet couldn’t concentrate on eating.  Violet was eagerly awaiting the consummation, even though she heard it could be painful the first time.  It was the ultimate act of love, and she couldn’t wait to give to Miles what she’d almost lost at the camp, and that was her virtue.  It belonged to Miles, and no one had to right to take that from her.  She would give it to Miles as the most cherished gift a woman could ever give her husband.

In between bites of what little food they ate, Miles and Violet kissed.  Finally, Caleb stood up and said, “You two are excused.   You’re putting us off our meal with all that slobbering.”

Miles and Violet laughed and took their leave, still holding each other tightly.

Miles struggled to drive his buggy with Violet clinging to him, but he loved every moment of it.  Now he understood why everyone had to dress up for the dinner, and had it not been formal he’d have ridden his horse instead of driving his buggy.  He also realized his dear sister had tricked him into signing his marriage license.  He’d have to send her flowers later for her part in all this.  

He gave Violet’s shoulders a squeeze.  She was his wife!  He could hardly believe it. Just minutes from now she’d be his in every way.  He prayed to God it went well.  He found himself driving faster in the dark than he normally would for he was anxious to begin his honeymoon.

He stopped the buggy in front of the house and asked Violet if she wanted to let herself in and wait for him to take care of the buggy.  She shook her head, so he took her to the stable with him.

She stood near him while he unharnessed the horse and put him in the stable.  He’d groom him tomorrow.

They walked to the house, arm in arm. 

Once inside the house, Miles felt at a loss as to what he should do first.  Violet still had her arm through his, and her head was still resting on his shoulder.  He turned her around to face him, and embraced her. 

“Welcome home, Mrs. Croft.”

She smiled at him before wrapping her arms around his neck. 

He pressed his lips to hers thinking to give her a quick peck, but it turned out differently.  When the kiss was over, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

He sat Violet down on the bed while he lit a small lamp to give the room a dim, romantic light.  He was surprised that she’d released him long enough for him to light the lamp.  Then he pulled her to her feet.  He wanted to hold her closer than they’d ever allowed before.  It was permissible now.  He groaned as he pressed her close against him.  “I love you so much,” he whispered. 

“What do we do now?” she asked, looking up at him with her big blue eyes. 

He had to kiss her again, because she looked so beautiful. His wife!

“I don’t know,” he said.  “I’ve never done this before, either.”

“Not ever?” she asked.

“Nope.  Michael and I had a few haystack parties with local girls, but we didn’t do more than kissing and maybe a little bit more.  We’ll learn together.  God made our bodies to know instinctively what to do.”

“I think,” he said kissing her forehead, “that you are supposed to get into your nightie, while I make myself scarce.”

“I don’t have a nightie,” she said.

“Oh.”  He opened a drawer and pulled out a white shirt.  “Here, you can wear this.”

She smiled.  “I’d love to.”  She hugged the shirt.  “Give me ten minutes, Mr. Croft.”

“Do I really have to leave—it will feel strange after being so close to you since our wedding.”

“I’m afraid so, but only ten minutes—no longer, or I swear I’ll fall asleep,” she said with a mischievous smile.

“And I’ll wake you up with kisses if you do.”  He backed out of the room.

Violet undressed, all except for her underwear, and folded her clothes on a chair near the bed.  She put the shirt on and buttoned it up to the neck, then reconsidered, and left the top one open.  She got under the quilt and waited, nervously. 

Finally, Miles came in.  He turned the lamp off. She heard the rustling of material and knew that he was taking off his clothes. 

Now she started to become a bit nervous, especially when she felt him slide into bed beside her. 

“This is how we’ll be sleeping for the next fifty years or more, Violet,” he said.

She curled into him and immediately felt that he was ready—so soon.  He reached over and touched her bosom gently, but she jerked and gasped. 

“No!” she cried.

“Violet!  What’s wrong?”

“I—I don’t know.  It just… reminded me of
him
.  It scared me.” 

“Violet, you’re trembling.  It’s me, your husband, touching you. It's allowed, now that we're married and God is blessing our union,” he said, gently and patiently.

“I’m sorry, Miles.  Go ahead. I won’t stop you,” she said tensely.

“No, I won’t touch you.  This is mad!  I can’t stand that you tremble at my touch.  I think we should call it a night,” he said.

“I’m so sorry.  Please, let’s not touch right away, let’s just kiss for a while first, maybe then I’ll be all right,” she said.

“Are you certain?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He kissed her passionately and again she knew he was ready for her, but she was far from ready.  He kissed her and held her close. He kissed her neck, but when he reached for her underwear, she screamed.

“That’s it.  I’m done,” he said, losing patience.  “I will ride to Salina and kill that McKenzie.  He’s even ruined our wedding night.”

Violet began to weep.  He felt ashamed that he’d lost patience, but he was so ready for her, and now this. 

“Come here,” he said.  “He held her.  Please don’t cry.  We’ll fix this.  It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not because I don’t love you,” she said.  “I do, and I want this as much as you do, but every time—I still can feel his savage hands on me.  I don’t know how to stop reacting, please be patient with me, Miles. 

She fell asleep in Miles’s arms.  He kissed her forehead and held her until he fell asleep as well.

  Sometime during the night, he came awake with a jerk when he felt her beating on his chest. 

“Stop, Stop, let me go!” she yelled.

He shook her gently. “Violet, wake up!”

She was breathing hard, but he knew she was awake because she grabbed him and was trembling.

“How long as this been going on?” he asked gently.

“Ever since,” she said.  “I’m scared, Miles, what can I do?”

“I’ll take you to see Reverend Martin in the morning.  He’ll know what to do.”

“Miles?” she asked, in the darkness.

“Hmm,” he answered.

“Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do. I understand.  You’ve been attacked twice.  You’re traumatized.”  He rocked her.  “We’ll fix it.  We have the rest of our lives.”