Read Shampoo Online

Authors: Karina Almeroth

Tags: #romance, #comedy, #girl power, #australian, #commodores

Shampoo (9 page)

BOOK: Shampoo
4.11Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

So the boys and I stayed at the gym from 6ish
till 8.30pm. I did an hour (HOUR) on the rower, 30 minutes on the
bike, 20 minutes on some contraption that was like skiing, then 30
minutes of me lying on the floor, dying, while random people
stepped over me. One even kicked me.

But when I said to Dan at one stage, “I’ve
burnt off 250 calories!!”, he was all, “That’s not that good you
know. You consume more than that at breakfast.”

Maybe he does!! But I don’t stand over the sink
shoveling ten weetbix into my mouth each morning. I’m lucky if I
even eat ONE weetbix before driving to work in a tired

In fact, this is all I’ve eaten the ENTIRE

Breakfast: Air

Morning Tea: Invoicing (paper has no calories,
I’m sure)

Lunch: A ham and cheese toastie and a can of

Afternoon Tea: Me running down the stairs in
the hopes of consuming a packet of chips and another Coke, to Daryl
Agnew yelling from the top of the stairs, “Pinky!! Sue has a BIG
order she needs you to type NOW!! Move it, Barbie!!”, to me saying
a sad goodbye to those chips and Coke, and running back upstairs,
in my heels, to Daryl saying, “I love ya, Pinky. You’re my


(worth more than food, Dag’s love!!)

Dinner: Beth yelling at me

See! No way I’ve consumed 250 calories today.
No wonder I feel so lightheaded. I need to go eat.



I quickly ate 2minute noodles, had a glass of
delicious Coke, then ate some chocolate, then nibbled on some
chopped up carrot and cucumber with a bit of Italian

Then I went downstairs to shower and Sharon
nabbed me of course, demanding, while I’m wrapped in a towel, where
I’ve been and who I’ve been with.

God, she drives me crazy!!

Then once I’d gotten back up here, my phone
rings at 10.40pm, and I just knew it was her, but if I’d ignored it
she would’ve come up here, WHICH IS FAR WORSE. So I practically
cried as I picked up the phone


(why oh why did I ever give her my


and had to listen to her for 20 minutes go on
about crap. I think I fell asleep at one point.

I am so tired.









Chapter 3





Wednesday 12 July 2000


Ever rang!! I’d just got home from gym with Dan
and Josh again


(had an absolute blast with them),


and I stopped in at Beth’s after the gym to
give her the precious Avon book, and she had pink flowers for


This is why I love Beth.


(scary Beth)

Anyway, then I came home to HIM ringing. Sir

He was all, “Where the fuck have you

Me, laughing, “At the gym with Dan and

And last night?”

The gym again!!” I was still
laughing. Don’t know why – Ever is just funny, even when


(he’s actually especially funny

Well I was going to come over last
night!! I rang like ten times!!”

(ten times in guy speak equals he rang

And I was going to come over
tonight, but now it’s too late!”

How about you ring me at work then,
stupid!!” I said. “Plus I rang you Monday night to make plans with
you!! You shoulda made plans with me then!”

Yeah, yeah. Guess what I’m doing
Friday night?”

Go-carting? With your

No, little miss smart ass. I’m
spending it with you!”

Silence by me as I process this. Ever said,
“Great!! I found something that shuts you up – ”

You’re serious about spending
Friday night with me?”


(I’ll believe it when I see it)

As serious as your insane love for

Well, that’s pretty serious –

You’re telling me!”

I’ll believe it when I see it,
Everard – ”

I’m serious, woman! I’m spending
Friday night with you, my…” He paused, stumbling over an endearment
for me. “…my little, crazy Pinky.”

Aw. Bestill my heart.

(the worst is that pathetic endearment DID make
my heart go crazy)

You are SO going to cancel!! For

I swear, I am not going to. I am
all yours.”


(he said this with such a low, sexy voice.


I’m going to a Lions game Saturday
night, so Friday night is all for you, woman.”

See what a coupla nights out with other boys
get me??


(even if it is just to the gym)

Men are dumb.



So Everard turns up here!!

He makes me so many things! He’s so fun, and
funny. We have so much fun together.

As soon as I see him, I forget everything that
was pissing me off about him. All I see is how fun and gorgeous he

He actually asked me to come stay over his
place tonight, but I hedged. There’s nothing like your own bed, AND
NOBODY ELSE IN IT, when you’re this bone tired.

Ugh. Can’t think of anything else but him right
now. Was curling up in bed with the latest Dean Koontz book, but
now I’m just all dreamy and thinking of him.

His kisses tonight were heavenly. The way he
looks at me…like I’m the most delicious thing he’s ever seen in his

I love that. Gives me chills!

Richard rang while Evvy was here. And guess
what????!!! He’s coming back home!!!!

Oh I can’t wait. I miss him so much. I’ll have
a friend again!

He wouldn’t tell me when, the bugger, but I
swear, I will not take him for granted this time. He’s tried to be
there for me so many times, and I just pushed him away.

He’s going to see so much of me, he’s going to
wish he stayed in England!!

He sounded a bit hurt that Everard was here,
but I soon had him laughing.


(and ignored Ever for him, so he was

Rich kept calling me Lesbo, and asking how my
girlfriend Anabeth is. He is convinced we’re closet

I couldn’t stop laughing, cause Evvy had just
said, like ten minutes ago, that Beth is “turning sides, for the
pink side.”


(meaning me, not lesbianism in

I have to make Rich TOP PRIORITY when he’s
back. He has more than proven himself as THE best friend a girl can
ask for.

(apart from one’s sister, of course)

Rich needs to feel special.

Ever was put out a bit by me chatting and
laughing to Richard…oh, well. Not like we’re a couple or

I REFUSE to ever be in a real relationship
again with the lower species that are men.

(oh my God, I love his kisses)




Thursday 13 July 2000


Evvy rang again tonight, when I got home from
work!! What is up with that!! And he asked me to come over to his
place for the night.

Bless the very ground he walks on.

BUT, I had to wait for the Avon lady to come,
then Beth was dropping in to pick up her Avon (no way I was calling
her to change days either), then I’d have to sort dinner, cause lo
and behold Evvy would cook me dinner.

His mum cooks him chicken wings with some sort
of peanut sauce every night. That’s like all he eats. Every single

And he’d never DREAM of saving me a chicken
wing or two.

So I’d have to wait for Avon lady and Beth,
cook dinner, shower, drive over there…

Oh it’s all too exhausting!!

Avon lady and Beth didn’t arrive and leave till
after 8pm. Past Evvy’s bedtime on a weekday.

But he’s been calling a lot and asking me over
to his. Is he changing?? Is my ploy to look like I have a life

I didn’t want to go tonight either because it
would make our date night less special. I know how Evvy works – if
I see him tonight, he’s attentive and loving. If I see him again
the very next night, he’s completely different. Withdrawn, aloof,
almost resentful towards me.

I want him all loving on our date night. The
first weekend in forever we’ve spent together.

That bastard better not cancel on me. His life
would not be worth living!




Saturday 15 July 2000


So date night last night!! And he didn’t

(he gets to live!!)

So he didn’t pick me up or anything, or come
here. For some reason, I really want a guy to just fucking pick me
up!!! Be romantic.

But then I like driving so when they PISS ME


(and they always do),


I can just leave when I want to.

So our night was both yummy and painful. He
makes me crazy!!! In good and bad ways. He makes me feel so many

Evvy seems to make me totally overboard in my

Soon as I got there, we started watching ‘The
Bone Collector’ in his bed


(on his giant ass wall to wall tv),


and for half the movie we just cuddled up to
each other. THEN he started kissing me and touching me THERE,
making me melt. He kept going too far, and I kept stopping him, not
because I didn’t want to


(I did!! Oh boy, I did),


but because it’s been weeks since we’ve even
had a real date, and he expects sex!!!

He’s gotta work a lot harder than

I need romance. Connection. Dare I say


So he kept trying to get my clothes off, and I
kept struggling with him, but we kept kissing and laughing while we

Was hot!!!

Then he got the shits, and started carrying on,
pulling his Evvy mood swing, and his grumpy face


(which is still so funny),


and asked me to leave!!!

So I got up off the bed and stomped to the
door, where he grabbed me, laughing, and pulled me back to bed. He
smothered me in kisses then and said, “You deserve someone better
than me, woman.”

Then I tried to get back under the quilt, and
he was all, “Not till you take all your clothes off!!”

I stopped trying to lift the quilt back. “I’m
fine here, thanks.”

He laughed. “Okay, if you kiss me I’ll let you
back under.”

Still annoyed with him, I leaned over and
pecked him on the lips. “You gotta do better than that!” he

So I leant in and pashed him for all I was
worth, and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back and OH
GOD…was just about the best kiss ever.

Then I pulled away, searching his eyes, for
what?? Love?? Devotion?? Happily Ever After??

And Evvy murmured, “Whoa,” as our heads were
still together.


(even he was blown away!!)


THAT’S what I want more

Um, yeah! Me too!! But you actually have to see
each other to have more of that.

Then we settled back into the movie, and he
starts edging away from me!! He just suddenly turned.

Don’t do that,” he snapped, when I
draped my leg over his.

Do what??”

Touch me!”

Dear God. Men are such pains in the

He edged away from me and complained whenever
some part of me touched him in any way, for the ENTIRE BRONCOS GAME
after the movie.

I don’t know WHY I stayed that long, just to be
pushed away.

By this time, I was absolutely freezing in my
skimpy outfit, and by 11pm I stood up, saying, “That’s it!! I’m
outta here.”

Then Ever grabs me! Wraps his arms around me,
pulls me to him, and practically growls, “You’re not going

I think he does it on purpose. It’s like same
game to him.

But not to me and my little heart.

So I pushed against him and said, “You’ve just
snapped at me for the last two hours and pushed me

I only did that cause as soon as
you touch me, I go crazy! And I want to do more.”

BOOK: Shampoo
4.11Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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