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Authors: Candace Havens

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BOOK: She Who Dares, Wins
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20

K
ATIE'S HANDS SHOOK
so hard, she could barely button her blouse. She finally gave up and grabbed one of the long-sleeved T-shirts from her bag. It would be more comfortable on the plane anyway.

The plane. That ridiculous machine that would take her away from Mac, and there was nothing she could do about it. They'd had a weekend of dreams. Lovely, beautiful and passionate, and everything had come to a screeching halt this morning. He still believed they could have a long-distance relationship, but she knew better.

Katie could barely look at Mac without feeling physically ill from the want of him. She'd been sharp with him, even mean at times, but he only smiled and kissed her.

The calm way he handled everything from room service to helping her find her favorite bra, which they'd lost somewhere under the couch, irritated the hell out of her. Why wasn't he upset? Had he already grown tired of her?

She touched her fingers to her lips. They'd made love
so many times that it took her a moment to remember when they'd even been on the couch to lose that bra.

She stared up at the ceiling of the hotel bedroom. The day had come too soon, but she was a big girl. No regrets. She'd taken the leap and risked everything. For the first time in her life she'd allowed herself to let go and live. And she'd loved every minute of it.

It was worth it.

Keep telling yourself that.

No matter how much pain it caused, this had been the most incredible three days of her life.

No regrets. No regrets. That would be her mantra, every time she felt as though her heart was being ripped from her chest.

Katie knew there were people who had never experienced what she and Mac had shared. He'd been right all along. Their connection was special. And she wouldn't ruin their last minutes together being ungrateful.

“Mac,” she said as she pulled her bag back into the bedroom. He wasn't there.

She went to the living room, but he wasn't there, either. She was about to check the other bathroom when she saw movement out on the terrace.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

He turned to her and smiled. That grin washed all her cares away.

“Yes, you look beautiful.”

She smirked. No matter how many times he said it, she would never get used to the compliment. “And you're one hot professor.”

That made him laugh. “I'm not sure anyone has ever said that to me.”

“Trust me, your students—girls and probably some of the guys—are thinking it every day in class.”

She glanced at her watch. “I guess I'm ready to go.”

“You know you could try detecting on this side of the pond. Your friends would understand.”

The thought had crossed her mind. “I wish I could, Mac. But uprooting my life again for some—well, you aren't some guy. We just met and this is all happening so fast. One of us has to be realistic.”

He started to speak, but she put a finger to his lips. “I'm not saying we can't try this long-distance thing, but we need to live in the real world.”

She grabbed his hand. “Come on. I'll be late to the airport. You know, you don't have to come with me. The university is on the way. The cab can drop you off there. And I'm going straight to security.”

“No way. That's an extra hour I get to spend with you in the taxi. You're stuck with me.” He picked up her bag.

“Wait.” She pulled on his coat lapels, forcing his face to hers.

Then she kissed him, capturing his lips with hers and putting everything she felt about him into that one kiss.

“Oh, Katie,” he growled, turning the kiss more passionate.

When she finally pulled away, she forced herself to smile. “There. That way you won't forget me,” she said with fake cheerfulness.

Mac watched her carefully. “Never going to happen. Your entire body is imprinted on my brain, from your lips to that sexy purple polish you wear on your toes.
I may forget to pick up my cleaning on Tuesdays, but I have a photographic memory. You have been downloaded right here.” He tapped the side of his head.

She smiled at her dotty old professor

“You really are something.”

He tugged her hair.

“That's what you tell me.”

 

T
HIS WAS TOUGHER
than Mac could ever have imagined. He stood with Katie in the passenger-unloading lane at Heathrow. Security was tight, and the officer had already motioned once for them to move along. The taxi driver honked.

“This is for you.” He handed Katie a locket. It had a small rose engraved into the platinum. “I know lockets are kind of old-fashioned, but I saw it in a store the other day and it made me think of you. I wanted you to have a reminder that you are always my favorite rose.”

She opened it to find one picture she'd taken of him the day at the greenhouse, and one of her that he'd taken on the balcony at the hotel.

“Mac, it's beautiful. Thank you.”

“Don't put it on until after you go through security, but then I want you to leave it on. What I'm about to say is corny as hell, but I want to be close to your heart, always.” Mac couldn't believe the sappy lovesick words falling out of his lips.

She slapped at his chest. “You're too sweet.” She sniffled. “I'm trying to be tough and not turn into one of those weepy girls at the airport, and you go and do something like this.”

Mac couldn't help but chuckle. The tough-girl
comment cracked him up. He'd never seen her anything but.

“Stop laughing, jerk.” She pushed the tears away with her mitten.

There was never a more beautiful woman than Katie, and he loved her, even when she was mad at him. He kissed her one last time.

“Promise you'll call me when you land?”

“Yes. Thank you.” Her voice was hoarse with emotion.

“Okay, miss. I'm sorry, but if you're boarding a flight you'll have to go. We can't tie up the lanes any longer,” the officer interrupted, spoiling their last moment. Mac squeezed her hard and handed her the suitcase.

“I'll talk to you when you land.”

She nodded and kissed his cheek.

Then she was gone.

The day had arrived long before it should have, and he wasn't handling it well. Sure, he'd tried to be strong for her, but every time he'd looked at her that morning his chest had tightened to the point where he couldn't breathe.

Mac jumped back into the cab and gave the driver the address for the university.

The driver seemed to sense he wasn't in the mood to talk, and for that he was grateful. Mac watched the city pass by and every mile they drove away from the airport created a giant space between him and Katie.

Mac pulled out his phone and went through the pictures he'd taken of her. The photos of her laughing hard were his absolute favorites. The joy in her eyes was enough to sustain him, at least for a few weeks until he could find a way to see her again.

Katie didn't believe they could make a long-distance relationship work, but Mac had hope. He was a stupid lovesick fool. Of that he was certain, but if they didn't try he knew they would both have regrets.

Maybe he was the one who needed to make a serious life change, one that could alter the course he'd so carefully planned for himself.

Yes, he was well and fully enraptured with this woman who had butted her way into his life, and he'd be damned if he'd let her go without a fight.

21

A
S
K
ATIE'S PLANE LANDED
at JFK she stared up at the luggage bays on the plane. She could grab a flight to Austin right away, or she could take a later one and visit her family. As much as they drove her crazy, she could use a good distraction.

Unable to stand hearing his voice quite yet, she sent him a quick text. Made it to NY, phone's on fritz again. Hope you get this. K.

Coward.

Yes, but right now it's about surviving the next few days.

Without thinking much, she found herself on the subway with her bags, heading to her old neighborhood. Preoccupied with thoughts of Mac, she didn't realize she'd arrived at her destination until she saw the McClure's Pub sign in front of her. The pub was in the corner of an eight-story building. Katie's family owned the building and occupied the top two floors. The rest were small studio apartments they rented.

She watched through the windows for a moment. GJ was behind the bar telling one of his stories to an
audience on bar stools. There was a crowd behind them, all listening, and then the whole place broke out in laughter.

Tears brimmed in her eyes. She missed this part of home. Her brother Liam smiled as he wiped off the tables. He'd probably heard the story at least a few hundred times. GJ had a gift for making the same tales always sound new, and she never grew tired of them.

The whole family, including her two brothers, pitched in around the pub. It was nearing six, and she knew her mother would be in the kitchen fixing an array of hot dishes and sandwiches to be served along with the beer and whiskey.

Katie sniffed her tears away and put her hand on the door.

The smell of stale beer and beef stew assailed her.

Home.

She swallowed the small lump in her throat and rolled her bags through the crowd. GJ had turned on ESPN, where they were gearing up for a Rangers hockey game. The Bronx loved its hockey.

GJ was busy pouring beer as Katie shoved her bags into a corner behind the bar. When he turned, he saw her and let out a whoop.

“It's my girl,” he yelled, then embraced her in a welcoming hug.

“I missed you.” She squeezed him hard.

He lifted her chin with his hand. “What's wrong? Your eyes are sad.” Yes, the man was observant.

She smiled. “I'm fine, I promise. Had a long flight from London. The jet lag kills me.”

His eyebrows rose. “Now, you won't be telling tales to me, lass. Your heart's been broken—it's written on
your face plain as day. I'll hear the truth from you soon enough.” Without taking his eyes off her, he yelled, “Liam, come give your sister a hug, and then take over the bar.”

Her brother, who had been cleaning the tables, ran to greet her. Well, as much as he could through the crowd. He picked her up in his arms and swung her around. “Peanut, you're home!” He laughed as he twirled her around.

“Put me down, you big ape! And stop calling me peanut.” He set her down carefully. It was useless to tell him to stop calling her by the name he'd given her when she was born. Liam swore she looked like a shriveled-up peanut as an infant.

“Why didn't you tell us you were coming home? Does Mom know?”

“I most certainly did not.” Her mother stood in the doorway to the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. Katie walked into the arms open wide for her. Her mother smelled of roses and lasagna, the mixture one of Katie's favorite scents. It meant she was home.

She squeezed her mother, and then did it again for good measure. Her mom backed away and took Katie's face in her hands. “Oh, my. It's a man. Let's talk. Into the kitchen with you.” She shooed Katie in. “You men tend the bar. I want to talk to my daughter alone,” she announced, closing the door behind her.

The pub kitchen was where Katie had spent a good portion of her life. Stainless steel appliances lined the walls. The big freezer door was at the back of the room, and a long stainless steel prep table was in the middle with several stools around it.

Katie sat on one of the stools while her mother poured
two cups of coffee and magically came up with a plate of Katie's favorite chocolate chip cookies.

“Tell me about him,” her mother insisted as she pulled up a stool next to Katie. “All of it.”

Katie thought about how much to tell, but once she began, she couldn't stop. The words poured out of her like a heavy rain. She expected her mother to admonish her for falling for a client.

“Katie, love, you care about him, so you need to find a way to make it work.” Her mother rose and began peeling potatoes. “I read stories all the time about people who have successful long-distance relationships. It isn't easy, but if you care enough you make it work.”

“That's what Mac says.” She sighed. “It hurts so much right now. How will I feel in a week? Even if we talk every day—I just don't know that it wouldn't be better to make a clean break. I'm not sure I can live apart from him like this. I mean, I've known him less than two weeks, but…”

But what? She remembered what Mar had gone through when Jackson was taken in by the CIA. For more than two months Mar had no idea if she'd ever see him alive again. In the end it had worked out. They had a romance Katie had seen only in romantic movies, but it hadn't come without some heartache.

“That's something only you can decide, Katie. All that talk about love being easy when the right people find each other is nonsense.

“Love is hard,” her mother continued. “You have to work at relationships every day. If you are serious about him, then you fight for him. You're a strong woman—you always have been. I've never seen you lie down and accept defeat. That isn't who you are, Katie. You're
a fighter. Every good thing you have in your life has taken work, and it's always worth it. A little distance is all you're worried about? There are worse things. You two can call, and Daniel told me they have those video chat things on the computers so you can see each other. If it's meant to be, you'll find a way to be with him no matter what.”

Her mother had a point. Katie had set herself up as some kind of victim, but the truth was Mac was in the same boat. He wanted to fight for them. If she did the same, then they could fight together, and two were always better than one.

That might be the corniest thing she'd thought in a long time, but it was true. No one had ever made her feel the way Mac did, and she wasn't ready to let go. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that she could.

“The way I see it, love's a commodity we can't afford to waste. My relationship with your father isn't always easy.” That was no joke. They'd spent a good portion of Katie's life nagging one another. She'd even seen her mother throw a pot at her father, but they always made up. She'd seen the way they looked at each other, and that's how she knew that kind of love was possible.

“You're right, Mom. I guess I have some thinking to do.”
I'm going to fight.
She'd try her best to solve the long-distance problem, and even if it didn't work out in the end, Mac was worth whatever pain she might go through.

A man cleared his throat behind her and she turned to find her father there. She jumped up and threw her arms around him. “Pops, how are you?”

“I'm fine, peanut. You look tired.”

“Just back from London, and I can't sleep on planes. I missed you.”

“We missed you, too, lass. Now, what's this I hear about man troubles?”

Katie scrunched her face. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss her love life with her father.

“Katie met a young man in London, and she's fallen hard. Sounds like he has, too. She's trying to decide what to do about dating long distance.”

Her dad rubbed the top of her head as he had when she was a child. “You fight. That's what we McClures do. If we want something we go after it, and we don't let obstacles stand in our way. You're made of sterner stuff. Now, buck up and be smart about it.”

Leave it to her dad to say it straight.

She chuckled. “Dad, you were never one to mince words.”

“Mom—” Daniel came down the stairs “—what's for dinner? Holy hell, Katie's here,” he said as he made his way into the kitchen.

“You watch your mouth in my home, young man, or I'll wash it out with soap.” Her mom wasn't kidding.

Katie had cussed like crazy on the job when she worked as a cop, but at home she'd catch herself and had come up with some pretty crazy words, from
fudge knuckles
to
shisterman,
to avoid her mother's wrath.

There were more hugs, and then they all settled around the steel table.

GJ walked in, with Liam right behind him.

“Who's tending bar?” her father asked.

“Carly's here. Happy hour crowd has thinned. She'll be okay for a while, until the regulars come in.”

At the mention of Carly's name she noticed Daniel's head pop up.

“I can go out and help her,” he offered.

“Not until you've had your dinner,” their mother said. “Like Grandpa Joe says, Carly can handle it for now. I haven't had my family together for almost a year.”

It was more like six months, but Katie wasn't about to argue with her.

“We're going to sit down together,” her mother said as she dished up lasagna. Katie noticed that her dad's plateful was out of a different casserole dish.

“Why can't I have the real thing?” her father protested.

“Because you aren't kickin' off and leaving me with this bunch to handle on my own.” Her mother waved a spatula around. “You're going to eat healthy if I have to stuff it down your throat.”

Her father mumbled under his breath, but she noticed the grin as he bent his head to say the blessing.

Once grace was said, the table erupted in conversations as everyone spoke at once. It was the McClure way. Katie missed all of it—but not so much that she wanted to move home. The separation from her family was good for her, but she did miss these big loud meals.

Katie sighed happily as she glanced around the table. She wanted this some day. She wanted it for her and Mac. A large happy family.

What was she thinking? A month ago she hadn't been sure she even wanted children. Now she was planning them with a man who lived six thousand miles away.

“So is this man you have your heart set on British?” GJ asked.

“Katie has a boyfriend?” her brothers questioned in unison.

She chuckled. Nothing had changed. “I wouldn't call him that exactly. He's a man I'm interested in. And, GJ, he was born in California, and he's a professor working at a university in London. I can't talk about his research, but his work is important. The kind of stuff that could change the fate of countries.”

“Oh, Katie likes an egghead,” Liam scoffed.

Katie punched his arm and was gratified by the wince he gave her. “Listen, you guys would like him. Yes, he's smart, but he's not at all what you would think a professor would be like. He's gorgeous, funny and—”

Daniel made gagging sounds.

Everyone laughed.

“Whatever.” Katie chuckled. “You know, I thought talking about him would hurt, but I really feel better. Thanks, Mom.”

“Katie, love, that's why we're here,” her mother said as she filled Pops's coffee cup without even looking.

Daniel was the first one finished. He took his dishes to the industrial washer and was out the door and into the pub before his mother could say a word.

He'd always had a crush on Carly, but he'd never acted on it. Carly had been working at the pub the past year and a half as a bartender and waitress. She was going to graduate school for a master's and later a doctoral degree in psychology. She liked the bar atmosphere because it was a microcosm of humanity.

“Let me guess,” Katie said, “Danny still hasn't asked Carly out?”

Liam laughed. “Not even close. He can barely speak
when she's around. Funniest thing I've ever seen. Big bad Daniel rendered speechless by a girl.”

That earned him a swat with the dish towel. “You leave your brother alone, and I don't want you talking trash about him when she's around. I heard you the other day. I'll have none of that,” her mother warned.

Liam grimaced. “I was just trying to break the ice for him,” he said.

He received another swat.

“Ma.” He jumped up and took his dishes to the washer. “I'm going to call the police if you don't stop that abuse.” He put his arms around his mom's neck and kissed her cheek. “Wait, I am the police. I've got duty in an hour. Will you be here when I get back?” he asked Katie.

She shook her head. “Nah, I'm catching the red-eye out tonight. I've got to report back to work tomorrow morning. We have a couple of big cases coming up that they need me to consult on.”

The messages from Mar had been on her voice mail when Katie had checked them before the plane took off. Her friend hadn't minded her taking a few days to see London. Mar had wanted her to take her time and not worry about the office. But when Katie had checked her email at the agency, she knew Mar was only being nice about giving her time off. That was one of the reasons she couldn't leave her friend, she was too nice. They had a backlog of cases and Katie was needed more than ever.

“Hmm, la-di-da, peanut's a fancy consultant. High-flying corporate girl.” Liam walked around the table and gave her a hug. “Don't stay away so long the next time,”
he whispered as he rubbed a noogie into her head. “And whoever the guy is, he's a lucky one.”

Katie swallowed the lump in her throat and hugged him back.

Liam was wrong. She was the lucky one. Being with her family had reminded her of what was most important. More than anything she wanted to be with Mac. She would do whatever it took to make that happen, even if it meant quitting her job.

BOOK: She Who Dares, Wins
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