Something Wanton (Mystics & Mayhem) (4 page)

I nodded, jotting that down in the notebook along with all my other rules and regulations.  Going outside?  Bundle up like an Eskimo.  Check. 

Once I was done, I just stared down at it, thinking of all the things that would keep me from doing.  No more skiing, no more ice skating, no more impromptu snowball fights with Kim and Blake.   I would have to hide in the house like a hibernating bear all winter to keep my demon from freezing. 

Perfect.

And speaking of hiding in the house…

“How long am I on house arrest?” 

“Until you’re ready,” he said, his voice as calm and soothing as it had been when he started on my introduction into the world of the undead. 

“So I can go back to school tomorrow, right?” I asked sarcastically.

“No.”

“But you just said I could go when I was ready,” I countered, pointing an accusing finger at him.  “I’m ready.”

Sighing, he rolled his eyes toward the ceiling like he was praying for the patience not to strangle me.  “You know what I meant, Em.  Don’t be difficult.”

I scowled at him, but let the matter drop.  He meant until I was capable of not sucking the life out of the first human I ran across.  I flinched and started flipping through my notebook until I got to the section I had labeled ‘If You Do This, You’re Toast’, and then just sat there staring down at the words written in my own handwriting.

I was a life-sucking parasite.  Literally.  As a darkling, my food of choice was going to be the life essence of other beings.  According to Tyler, since I’d been infected by a lust demon I would probably be drawn to people experiencing passionate emotions. 

So, yeah, going back to a building full of sexually frustrated,
drama-loving teenagers probably wasn’t such a good idea.

“Explain the whole aura thing again,” I told him, glancing up just in time to see his eyes tighten ever so slightly. 

“The auras are how darklings choose their…prey,” he said, stumbling over the word ‘prey’ the way he had every time he’d had to say it.  “Some auras will be more appealing to you than others.  You’ll be drawn to them.  For some, it’s how mesmerizing they can be.  For others, they can literally
smell
the essence that goes with the aura that attracts their attention.” 

I’d already figured out that I was in that second category of freaks, so I didn’t have to ask what they might ‘smell’ like.
  Even as he sat there instructing me on how to be a dead chick, the smell coming off Tyler was driving me crazy.  Oblivious to
his
effect on me, Tyler continued to school me on Aromatic Auras without missing a beat. 

“Once you’ve fed on someone’s aura,
it becomes like a drug to you.  And, like an addict, you’ll want more and more of it.  Which is why feeding is so dangerous for a darkling.  Because if you take too much…”

My ‘prey’ dies and I become a full-fledged demon,
I finished for him when his voice trailed off. 

That point I didn’t need him to cover again—he had
made sure to tell me like ten times already.  If one of my victims died, I was a goner.  I would become the thing I hated most.  I would become
Bastian
—cold, calculated, and with no love for anything or anyone but the kill.

Yeah, that I understood
very
well.

“So I need to be careful with my shots.” I picked up the syringe Tyler had handed me earlier and examined the glimmering, electric-blue liquid it contained.  “What is this stuff, anyway?”

“It’s called Nexus,” Tyler said, watching the liquid flow back and forth in the syringe like he was hypnotized by it.  “Do you know what Nexus means?”

“T
he center of the circle inscribed in a regular polygon?” I suggested.  My geometry teacher would have been so proud!

“
That’s one definition,” Tyler said with an indulgent smile.  “But there is another definition, one more fitting to this situation.  A nexus can also be the source from which something originates.  In this case, living energy.  Without this energy, there is no life.  And, like everything else on the planet, darklings also need this energy to survive.”

“Unfortunately, darklings are the only creatures in this world that do not produce this energy on their own,” Tyler continued, finally tearing his eyes away from the syringe in my hand.  “Even vampires, who are termed the undead, produce it in some form.  Without an infusion of living energy, darklings go into stasis, they wither away.  Some die.  The alternative is that they lose control.  When that happens, their demon takes over and—”  He stopped talking so suddenly that it took me by surprise.  After giving me a strangely sympathetic look, he took the syringe and pulled off the cap that protected the needle with an almost-whispered, “Let’s just say very bad things happen.

“Now, beautiful, left or right?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, surprised by the abrupt change of subject.

“Do you prefer to get your injections in your left thigh or your right?”
he clarified.  “Like epinephrine for severe allergic reactions, Nexus works best if delivered intramuscularly in the thigh.”

“
Sounds reasonable,” I mumbled, not really understanding, but deciding to believe that he knew what he was doing.  “The right, I guess.”

“Um, you’ll have to take off your jeans,” he said, his voice a little rougher than it had been only seconds before when he’d been explaining why I had to jab needles into my thighs for the rest of my life.

“Oh.” 

I was suddenly glad that I couldn’t blush anymore.  Tyler wasn’t so lucky.  He was looking anywhere but at me
, and his cheeks were definitely looking a little pink.

He turned his back when I stood up and reached for the button of my jeans. 
For a second, I stood there and smiled as I studied his back.  What can I say?  The fact that he would do that touched me.  It wasn’t just that it was a totally chivalrous thing to do, but that he trusted me not to hurt him.  Otherwise, he never would have turned his back on me.  That trust went a long way toward making me feel kind of human again.

Once I’d stripped out of my jeans, I crawled under the comforter and bared my right leg.  “Okay, I’m ready.”

Still not quite meeting my eye, Tyler sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and pushed the comforter aside a little more.  Usually, I would have been self-conscious about a cute guy examining my bare thigh, but I didn’t have time for that.  No, I was too busy watching the syringe in his hand like it was some mutant bug that was going to bite me. 

What?!  Like most people, I have a healthy human aversion to pain, you know?
  Oh, all right! 
And
needles!

“How often?” I asked—more to take my mind off that needle than because I really wanted to know—as he prepped my thigh using an alcohol pad he had pulled from his pocket before he sat down.  “How often do I have to get the injections?”

“Three times a day for the first week to build up the effects in your system,”
he said as he tossed the first alcohol pad in the trash.  “Twice a day for the first year.  Then once a day after that.   Once you’re stronger and have more control over your demon, you won’t need it as often.  Some darklings have even managed to only need their injections once or twice a month.  I have to admit, though, I do have to wonder if they aren’t supplementing with the real thing here and there.”

The real thing.  Meaning they were taking the energy they needed to survive from
other people
.  But how did one do that?  Not that
I
ever planned to indulge myself, but I would have to ask Tyler about the mechanics of the whole thing. 

I was so busy coming up with more and more disgusting ways someone might suck the life out of someone else that I didn’t notice when
Tyler picked up the syringe again.  I definitely noticed the needle jabbing into my muscle, though.  With a half-shrieked curse that Grams would have washed my mouth out for, I tried to bat it away, but Tyler caught my hand and held it still.

“I’m sorry,
beautiful,” he crooned as he pulled the needle out of my leg.  “It hurts the first few times, but, as terrible as it may sound, you
do
get used to it.”

“Yeah, right,” I muttered, rubbing my leg to ease the burning, stinging muscle there.  “I highly doubt that.”

“It’s true,” he insisted as he sent the syringe sailing into the wastebasket after the alcohol pad.  “Just ask any diabetic who takes insulin injections.  It’s not pleasant, but eventually it’s not so bad, either.”

“If you say so,” I agreed doubtfully.

Tyler turned around again to let me get dressed.  “Trust me, you won’t mind them so much after a while.  It’s either the shots, or the kind of hunger nightmares are made of.”

“
But how does that work, anyway?” I asked as I pulled my jeans back on, trying to work it all out in my mind.  “I mean, people eat with their mouth.  Vampires bite people to feed.  How does a darkling feed?”

Rather than answer, he just turned around and looked at me
.  I could practically see the gears in his mind turning, trying to find the right way to tell me without actually
telling
me anything.  In the end, though, he finally gave in.

“Most darklings feed by sucking the essence out through their victim’s mouth,” he said with a sigh.  “They’re very seductive, darklings.  It’s easy for them to lure their prey into a simple kiss.”

“So…I’m like a succubus or something?” I asked, wincing when I heard how high my voice had become.

“That’s one way to look at it,” Tyler mumbled, looking uncomfortable.  “Actually, a very good way.”

I just sat there, speechless, as that sank in.  A kiss would never just be a kiss for me again.  What did that mean for me and Nathan?

I felt my eyes start to burn like someone had squirted lemon juice in them
at the thought of Nathan, but there were no tears.  There never would be.  Never again would I be able to show emotion like that.  I would never be able to find that release again.  Yet another thing Bastian’s sorry ass had taken from me.

Along with my dreams.
  Like my tears, dreams had just become a thing of the past.  Darklings don’t sleep.  Ever. 

Speaking of which…

“And the whole dream thing?” I asked, trying not to wince.  “How does that work?”

“Feeding on a dreaming victim is actually the easiest way for you to feed,” Tyler explained.  “It’s safer than feeding on a conscious victim.  For one thing,
it dampens the connection between you and your prey.  For another, they don’t know you’re feeding.  But you should only do it if you absolutely
have
to, Em.  It’s still dangerous, especially for a young darkling.”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything.  Suddenly, I wished he hadn’t bothered to save me. 
Even facing the monsters of the lost plane would have been better than facing an eternity without dreams.  The thought of those ghoulish arms reaching for my energy wasn’t as bad as knowing that even if my heart shattered a million times I would never be able to shed a tear. 

The heartbreak that was about to begin in
ten…nine…eight..

Of all the things Tyler had explained to me, he had left
out a few important things.  The questions had to be asked, but the words lodged in my throat.  I didn’t really know if that was because I didn’t know how I was going to voice them or because I was afraid of the answers.

“Ty?  Can I ask you
something else?”

“Anything, beautiful.”

“How’s Jack?” I finally managed to choke out.  “I mean, is he okay?”

“I don’t know, Em,” he sighed, not quite meeting my eyes.  “
It was a shock for him, coming around and realizing he’d missed a couple of months of his life.  Rumor has it that the first time he got a glimpse of himself in the mirror he kind of lost it.  Last I heard, his parents had sent him to a hospital for psychological treatment.”

So I had done it for nothing.  I had
died
for nothing.  I hadn’t saved him.  Sure, I might have kept his soul from being consumed by those ghouls on the lost plane, but he was still gone.  He would never be the same guy I knew, the charming guy who’d driven me crazy and made me laugh.  He would only be a shell of that guy.

“I’m sorry, Em,” Tyler murmured, taking my hand, when I dropped my eyes to my lap. 

I was sorry, too.  Sorrier than he would ever know.

“Ty?” I said
again after a few minutes.

“Yeah, beautiful?”

I had to literally force my next question out, but I finally managed to whisper, “Why are
you
here?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you are, but why you and not Grams…or Nathan?”

“I was afraid you were going to ask me that,” he sighed.  “I know how confusing this all must be, but you have to know they would be here if they could.  This separation will be as painful for them as it will be for you, but after the first time you woke up—”