Stories I Only Tell My Friends: An Autobiography (33 page)

BOOK: Stories I Only Tell My Friends: An Autobiography

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For me, the ongoing rewards of the series have been both professional and personal. By pushing through my comfort zone, I was able to train an emotional muscle that serves me well today. All of us on a daily basis have the opportunity to move forward or backward or stay put. Today, I know to move forward. And it’s funny—initially I wanted to be on
The West Wing
because I knew it would challenge me as an actor. But its real gift was that, in the end, it challenged me as a man.

* * *

Today, life’s blessings continue to surprise me. And the stories that follow from this mysterious, glorious, maddening, saddening journey are enough to fill another book, maybe for another day. In the time I have worked on
Stories I Only Tell My Friends
I have shot three terrific television series in which I starred (
Brothers and Sisters
,
Parks and Recreation
, and
Californication
) all at the same time, sometimes two shows in one day. Moving from the real, human drama of
Brothers
to playing a true comic lead (not straight man) on
Parks
(after one fast fifteen-minute drive between sets) presented a thrilling contrast that few actors get to experience. I was blessed to be able to work in both comedy and drama surrounded by actors of such a high level of talent. In the middle of that hectic schedule I shot the controversial movie
I Melt with You
, playing one of the most rewarding roles of my career. It premiered at Sundance and will be released in 2011.

In a screening room on location in Australia in 2003, I watched
The Outsiders: The Novel
, a new edition of the movie that contained my long-lost scenes from almost twenty-five years before. On-screen I saw a boy more like my sons now than myself. In that beginning, unformed haze of my career, I thought maybe I had botched these scenes. Now I saw they were beautiful and heartbreaking; the emotional ending the author always intended. They say you can never go home again, but I’m not so sure. That day I caught a good glimpse of my former self, and I came very, very close.

Aaron Sorkin and I reunited in 2007 when I starred in the West End revival of his play
A Few Good Men
. I’m happy to say that the reception was everything we had hoped, as was our collaboration.

I continue to produce, for HBO, even for the E! channel. My best pal and mentor, Tom Barrack, and I have started an entertainment fund and, along with our other investors, purchased Miramax Studios from the Walt Disney Company for $640 million in December 2010.

In the middle of my life, I am in the middle of the thick of it. I am transitioning to new areas of passion and challenge; always driving forward, always pushing.

I finally took up surfing and fell in love with its inherent demands of fitness, balance, commitment, and risk-taking. When I paddled out for the first time at Point Dume, I was moved to share the experience with Matthew, who was now the same age I was when the local surf gang discouraged me from learning so many years ago.

The great Bernie Brillstein passed away in 2007, and was eulogized at one of the largest and most moving memorials ever held in Hollywood by the one who first introduced us back in 1978, Kermit the Frog.

My mother died of breast cancer, too young at sixty-four years old. In her honor, I work regularly for cancer charities; in her memory I have written this book. She wrote every day of her life. I hope this would have been up to her standards.

My father and my brothers are all well and ensconced in their lives; new wives, beautiful babies, and deep family reinvestment being the order of the day.

And in the most surprising fact of my life, one that at one point I thought I was incapable of feeling and unworthy of achieving: I am still in love with my wife. After almost twenty years of marriage, I look at her face and see her radiant light; I hold her and feel our hard-earned and sometimes difficult history passing between us, enveloping us in an aura of comfort, gratitude, and profound attraction. If you’d asked me when I was a young punk what would be the best thing that could come my way, I would’ve said, “A movie with Martin Scorsese.” But God had other plans. He gave me Sheryl.

As I write this, Matthew and Johnowen are waiting for me at home. I am on a packed, delayed flight back from shooting a project I’m producing in D.C. I’ve only been gone a few nights, but we are so close, the three of us, that it feels like a lifetime. I want to get back to them; there is a Colts game to be watched and we will crunch together on our couch and laugh and snuggle under our comfy blanket, even though they are seventeen and fifteen years old. President Clinton appears to have been right. If you’re lucky, those affectionate childhood bonds can grow even deeper with time.

And today, that is what I look forward to. Time. Time to grow as an artist, businessman, and now author. Time to love my wife and watch our young men grow to make us proud, as I have no doubt they will. Time to watch them crystallize into the strong, sensitive, witty, and engaging men they almost are. The future is theirs. It’s all so close for them. It takes my breath away.

My plane is descending into Los Angeles, bringing me back again to the city I wanted so badly to conquer as a child, arriving with my mother in our old Volvo. Los Angeles looks huge from the air, particularly in the setting sun’s magic hour. I can’t even comprehend how many close-ups I’ve shot, standing in that incredible amber light. I see the Hollywood sign now and it, too, is bathed in an almost purple hue. I’ve looked at that emblem of so many people’s dreams so many times that I often don’t even notice it. But today I do and I realize: It still means something to me. And I’m glad.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Sheryl, Matthew and Johnowen: Thanks for your love and patience; you make life worth living.

My father, Chuck: For your inspiration and love; you are my hero.

My brothers, Chad, Micah, and Justin: I’m blessed to have you in my life. Thanks for putting up with me; I love you very much.

Brian, Jodi, Lucas, Jacob, and Darlene: For making my family complete and for your unwavering love.

Tom Barrack: For your friendship, generosity, and example. Together “we go!”

Bill Paxton: Thanks for the years of friendship and confidence.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: For being who you are. Friend. Father. Leader. Here’s to many stogies to come.

Maria Shriver: For your beauty, brains, and friendship and for sharing your beloved father with the country in ’72. It changed my life.

Aaron Sorkin: For your friendship. For Sam Seaborn.

Mike Myers: Thanks for the laughs, support, and the idea to write a book.

Kenny and Lyndie Gorelick, Scott Sassa, Brian Novack, Herb and Bui Simon, Beth and Tag Mendillo, Mark and Heather Melchior, Kevin Falls, Dallas Taylor, Dr. Mark Morrow, and Betty Wyman: for being my treasured friends and confidants.

Bob Timmons and Doug Fieger: I’m still going strong because of your wisdom. I miss you both.

Eva and Olaf Hermes and Laurel Barrack: You were the first to hear this book, and your thoughts and support helped make it happen.

Jennifer Dynof: Without you there is literally no manuscript. I am in debt for all you do for me, lowePROFILE, and the family.

Carol Andrade and Carmen Bautista: For your loyalty and love, and for treating our family as if we were your own.

Russell Strickland: For always having my back.

Marc Gurvitz, Adam Venit, Richard Weitz, Alan Nierob, Jon Liebman, Ari Emanuel, Jonathan West, Nicole Perez-Krueger, Esther Chang, Andrew Weitz, Sean Perry, Mari Cardoos, Craig Szabo, and Larry Stein: I am blessed to have your daily attention and guidance. Thank you.

Jennifer Ruldolph Walsh: For being there through the process with such tremendous encouragement.

Gillian Blake: My great editor and new friend. Thanks for your patience and for turning me into a writer.

Steve Rubin: For having faith in me and my stories and for making this all happen.

Everyone at Henry Holt and Company: For your confidence, vision, and hard work on such a tight deadline.

Jan Miller: For your faith in me and your added value in so many ways!

Richard Abate and Jonathan Karp: For your early confidence in me as a writer.

Nancy Josephson: Thank you for helping me put the pieces together.

Graydon Carter and Oprah Winfrey: For being early and enthusiastic supporters of this book. Thank you.

To all my friends and colleagues both current and throughout the years: some of you are mentioned in the narrative and some are not, but you
all
have inspired me.

To my fans and friends around the world: Without you it all stops. Thank you so deeply for the decades of support.

To all friends of Bill W’s.

To all young actors everywhere.

ABOUT
THE
AUTHOR

R
OB
L
OWE
is a film, television, and theater actor, a producer, and an entrepreneur. He also is involved in politics. He lives with his wife and two sons in California.