Supernormal (29 page)

Maybe they would keep fading, until it got so she could hardly see them.  She would always know they were there, but maybe, Ashley thought, she would get to the point where she was okay with that.

“I never finished high school.”

She was surprised that it came out.  Surprised that her voice didn’t shake more.

“I mean, I went—before—and there were tutors at the program, but I’ve never been a really good student.”  Ashley let out a weak laugh.  “I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do.”

“You’re supposed to do what you want,” Cam said.  He smiled at her and she was a little shaken by what she saw there.  “I’ll help.  If you want.”

Yes
.  She wanted.  So much that she wasn’t sure she could say it.  She was afraid it would shatter her.  “Cam, I—”  It was there.  She knew it.  She could feel it pressing against her chest like a physical pain.  And she wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that it came out as, “I am so glad you’re okay.”

Cam looked at her for a long moment.  “I’m glad you’re okay, too, Ashley.”

She couldn’t keep looking at him.  It was too much.  So she looked down at their hands, instead.  They were still holding hands.  She hadn’t even thought about it, it just was.  She’d always thought it was such a small, silly thing to do, compared to—she felt the heat rush up her neck—all of the other things people could do.  But it didn’t feel silly, or small.  His palm was sandy and steady and warm, and it felt like the anchor on a boat, so it wouldn’t drift loose.

Don’t let go, she thought.  Don’t ever let go.

She felt Cam watching her.  “What?”

He didn’t answer for a long moment.  “At the hospital.  I dreamt…I saw us here.  Together.”

The last came out oddly tense, enough that Ashley said, “Together?”

“Yes,” Cam said.  She felt the shaky tendrils of heat curl out from her stomach.  “We were—”  He stopped.

He was rubbing his thumb along the back of her knuckles.  Ashley felt the fine scratch of sandpaper against her skin.  It was hard to think beyond that one point of contact.

“It was a little blurry.  I don’t see myself—I didn’t, before—and dreams can tangle things.  I wasn’t sure if it was real, or if it was just…hoping,” Cam finished.  He cleared his throat awkwardly.

She heard—Ashley wasn’t sure what she heard in his voice.  But she hoped and, hearing it, was able to look up.  How long had he been looking at her like that?  A while now, she realized, and she’d been too afraid to recognize it.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly.  “I’m not sure what…I’m not good at this, I don’t have a lot of experience…”  He cleared his throat again, and Ashley realized that she had been staring at him, not saying anything.  Not doing anything.

She felt her heart fluttering like a humming bird trapped in her chest.  She was still afraid, but so was he.  She could see that.  And seeing it made it easier to be brave.

Ashley shifted, turning to him, the sand spilling around her knees as she closed the distance between them.  Brave, she told herself, and hooked a leg over his lap to straddle him.  “Was it like this?”

He nodded, his face turned up to her, his blue eyes watching and so serious.  She could grow to love the way he looked at her.

“Show me,” she said.

Slowly, still watching her, he took her right hand and put it on his shoulder.  Then he took her left hand, running his thumb along her palm, closing his eyes as he pressed it to his cheek.  “And you?”  When he hesitated she brushed her thumb over his cheek.  “Show me how you touched me, Cam.”

His hands settled on her legs, her hips.  He swallowed.  “We’re friends.”

She nodded, feeling the fading warmth of the setting sun along her back.  It was nowhere near as warm as his hands.  “Yes.”

“That’s important to me.  I don’t want to—if I ruined this—”  Cam stopped as she kissed him, soft and easy.  It surprised her a little, how easy it was.  There should have been a question there.  Some uncertainty.  But his lips softened, moved against hers, his hands running up her sides, fisting in her shirt, and there was only an answer.

Ashley eased back just a bit.  So that he could see her.  She ran her thumb over his bottom lip.  “Nothing could ruin you for me.”

His free hand wound through her hair, wrapped around the back of her neck, pulling her closer, and it wasn’t so soft this time.  His arms were around her, his fingernails biting into her skin, and it was Cam, and he was here and safe and the taste of him…  For so long she had wanted to—she had
wanted.

Sometime later, they managed to remember that Meg and Brody were waiting for them.  Likely had been waiting for them for some time.

“We—we should—” Cam let out a hard breath.

Ashley nodded vaguely, but she didn’t mean it.  If they went back, then the day would be over.  She didn’t want tomorrow.  She didn’t even want tonight.  She wasn’t done with this moment yet.  “Not yet.”

Cam grinned, natural and easy, and she felt her smile rising in return up from underneath the thrill and need and the sheer weight of feeling.  “Not yet,” he said, and the distance closed between them as his fingers wound through hers to pull her back to him.

Acknowledgements

To Antonia Kogan and the Keller family, my official team of teenage beta readers:

To Jennifer Rothwell, Diana Lampe Siwek, and Stephanie Burgis, for their insight, advice, and willingness to give this a second, and third, and fourth read:

To Sean and Jenn Rothwell, for the wonderful cover and their patience through the whole long process:

To Lauren Galit, cheerleader, agent, rock, and friend:

And always, to Mom and Dad, for putting up with me through all of this:

There will be no way to say it enough, but we can start with — Thank you.