Sweet Spot: Homeruns #4 (15 page)

A few weeks ago, the idea of Dad knowing I was falling in love with Cody scared the shit out of me. Now, I didn’t care. Okay, so I did because no one wants their dad walking in on them right after having sex, but I wasn’t worried about him finding out about Cody. It was actually something I wanted to talk to him about so he heard it directly from me. I probably didn’t need to say anything since he’d seen the two of us curled up together on Cody’s bed when he walked in to find out what was going on, but he deserved for me to be straight with him for once in my life.

“We’ll be right out,” I told Mason and shooed him away. As soon as the door closed, we busted out laughing. I pushed Cody off my lap and pushed myself off the couch. “I suppose we’d better get back. You think they’ll all know what we were doing?”

“Probably,” Cody confirmed. “I’d be more surprised if Mason keeps his mouth shut. He tends to go for maximum embarrassment whenever possible. Is that going to be an issue?”

Was it? I thought about Cody’s question as I followed him out of the house. I thought it would be the scariest thing in the world to have people know I was gay. I thought it’d destroy my life. But now, the only thing that had me uneasy was trying to figure out what Cody meant by maximum embarrassment. It didn’t take long to find out.

“Hey Stone, you and the kid had better figure out who’s going to pay to have that couch cleaned!” Mason yelled from across the yard. My face heated and I knew it had turned about as red as a tomato. Fucker. “I’m not having my mom sitting on your dried-up jizz when they come down next week!”

“Holy fuck!” someone shouted. “Little Stone is gay?”

I stiffened, waiting for insults that never came.

“You got a problem with that?” Eric asked, slapping Kevin Green upside the back of his head. “And while you’re at it, don’t call him little Stone. His name’s Nick.”

The rest of the group joined in on giving Kevin a hard time. I felt bad, but at the same time, I loved how Eric and Mason had essentially let me know I was part of the group now, not an outsider.

“
A
re you nervous about tomorrow
?” Nick had been quiet since he’d gotten home. I’d been doing everything I could to not talk about the fact that we’d both be on planes within the next forty-eight hours, but the longer he stayed locked inside his head, the more impossible it got to ignore.

We’d spent a lot of time over the past week checking out the schedules for both the Mavericks and the Miners, trying to figure out when we’d be able to steal a bit of time together. So far, it looked like we’d be lucky to get about ten days between April and the end of September. While I wanted to have faith we’d figure out how to make it work, that wasn’t much time to solidify a new relationship. We’d been spoiled to spend every spare minute together since Nick had left the hotel, and I wasn’t ready to leave him.

“Nah, not really.” He was lying, but I didn’t call him out on it. I’d quickly learned baseball was one of the most superstitious sports out there and players didn’t talk about their insecurities. They ignored the possibilities until they became reality.

“Then quit moping,” I suggested. “If it’s not cuts freaking you out, I’m going to start thinking it’s me.”

“It’s not you,” he assured me. He leapt off the couch and grabbed my car keys off the counter. “I need to get out of here. Let’s go for a hike.”

I hadn’t really thought about it, but we hadn’t gone out to the trails since the day of the attack. We hadn’t needed to. It was more comfortable to come and hang out at the house with the guys. Nick had quickly gotten used to the constant ribbing and insults everyone threw around freely. One night, he’d gotten quiet and I’d asked him if it bothered him, and he’d admitted it was exactly the opposite. For the first time since little league, he felt like he was part of the team and didn’t have to worry about anyone thinking differently of him because of his dad. As I laced up my hiking boots, it dawned on me that the closeness he’d developed with everyone likely played a role in his restlessness and somber mood. After tomorrow, we’d all head to Milwaukee and he wouldn’t. Well, he’d have Sean with him and Mason and Asher would join them for the summer, but it wasn’t going to be the same. Summers never were for us, and I imagined that feeling would be magnified for him.

“You do realize you’re only going to be a few hours away, right?” I reminded him as we walked around the side of the main house to the driveway. “And you’ll be back in Milwaukee next weekend to get your car and the rest of the stuff you need. It won’t be so bad.”

“I know,” he said without much conviction. He reached out for my hand, the way he’d done more frequently and comfortably every day. I didn’t know if he even realized he did it, but it always seemed to follow these quiet times. It felt good to know he unconsciously sought me out when he needed comfort.

“And if it works out, we can always meet up in Madison,” I continued. We’d talked about all of this, but I felt as if I needed to remind him. This wasn’t the end of the world.

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly.

We got into the car, but I didn’t bother putting the key in the ignition. I was supposed to be the quiet, reserved one in our pairing, not him. He was supposed to be the one who had it all figured out, and I was the one who went along for the ride. But now, I had to figure out how to be the strong one. It was on me to be the confident one who believed we could conquer anything. I turned to face Nick and took both of his hands in my own.

“Nick, you have to listen to me,” I insisted, trying to make my voice as commanding as possible. “We knew when we started talking again this was going to happen. You were the one who said you wanted to make this work. If you’re having second thoughts, this is the time to say something.”

“No!” Nick shouted. “That’s the last fucking thing I want! Is that what you want? I mean, if it’s going to be too much for you with the internship and everything, I’ll understand.”

I moved one hand to his chest and I could feel it beating furiously under my touch. “No baby, leaving you is the last thing I want. But I also don’t want your mind to be on me when it should be on your next start. I don’t want you to look back years from now and regret letting your worries about our relationship cloud your precision on the mound.”

“It won’t,” he insisted, shaking his head to drive the point home. “I’ve lived with regret. The past four years, I thought about what a huge mistake it’d been to let you go. Hell, looking back, I still wonder if I’d have moved up faster if I hadn’t pushed you away. It would’ve been tough, but at least then I wouldn’t have had my mistakes hanging over my head.”

“You can’t think that way,” I told him for the thousandth time. Did it upset me knowing I hadn’t fought harder for him his rookie year? Sometimes. But things wouldn’t have turned out well if we’d gotten together then. We were both too young. I didn’t know who I was. Nick needed to find peace and a balance between his family and his dreams. It would’ve been a disaster to try and have a relationship with all of that hanging over us. “We can’t change the past, but we can use that to make sure we don’t make mistakes in the future. If you want to take a break so you can focus on the season, I’m saying I’ll understand. And I’ll be cheering you on, praying you get called up. There will be time for us later.”

“Eventually, time runs out,” he countered. “Eventually, you’ll get sick of waiting around for someday. And you shouldn’t have to. You deserve to be with someone who tells you every day how much he loves you. You should have someone there for you every night. You deserve it all.”

We were starting to get not-so-subtle glances from the nosy bunch in the house. They were trying to give us space, but I could practically see them waiting to pounce and give us advice. It was what they did. It was how they showed they gave a damn. Not up for their well-meaning interruptions, I put the car in gear and quickly pulled out of the driveway.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked as I accelerated onto the freeway. Nick grunted, which I took as his way of telling me to go on. “Did your dad love your mom?”

“Yeah. What kind of question is that? They’re one of the strongest couples I know,” he scoffed.

“Okay.” I lifted his hand to my lips, praying he’d hear me out. Somehow, we’d gone from worrying about this being the last night we were guaranteed to get together to this foolish talk where it felt like he was getting ready to dump me again. Well, I had learned from my past, and I wasn’t giving up. “So if they were able to make it work through all the years your dad spent playing, what makes you think you can’t? The way I see it, you and I are going to have an easier time than a lot of couples.”

“How so?” he asked.

“Because you had a good example at home,” I told him. I pulled off the freeway and turned onto the road leading to the trailhead. There were a few other cars there, but not many. I doubted we’d run into anyone along the way. That was a relief, because I didn’t think either of us were in the mood to make nice with other people, even if it was only in passing. We needed this time to clear the air between us so we parted on good terms at the end of training. “Between your childhood and me living with Drew for the past four years, we’re golden. If those guys can make it work, so can we.”

“I guess you’re right.” Nick got out of the car and I met him at the trunk. We’d learned quickly that even though it wasn’t disgustingly hot, water was a necessity when we were out in the middle of nowhere. He grabbed the backpack we kept packed for days like today, I reached for my camera bag, and we started our way up our favorite trail.

No words were spoken as we walked deeper into the desert. There was nothing to say. One of the many things I loved about Nick was how content he seemed in silence. The guys I’d tried dating in college always had this compulsion to fill every second of silence with inane chatter. Not Nick. He was just as comfortable as I was enjoying the scenery. From time to time, I’d remove the lens cap and snap a few pictures and Nick simply stopped, waiting for the moment to pass. He didn’t grow impatient as I crouched and shuffled around trying to frame the shot perfectly. Of course, that also gave me opportunities to take more pictures of him when he was unaware the camera was focused on him.

I’d come down here hoping something would inspire me as the subject of the photo essay I had to complete before the end of the semester. I knew what I wanted to do, but it was going to be difficult logistically and there were a lot of variables over which I had no control. Not to mention I’d have to come to terms with turning in a portfolio I felt was an incomplete essay even if it was technically sound. And there was no way around that because of the subject matter. No one would know but me, but I still wasn’t sure I could go forward with my original plan.

Nick took the fork to the left when we typically followed the trail to the right. The one time we’d gone this way, there hadn’t been anything of interest, so we hadn’t taken it again. Until today. Nick seemed like a man on a mission as he took a series of turns along the unfamiliar trail, and I blindly followed him. I trusted him. He’d never do anything to put either of us in danger.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he deviated from the marked trail. I trusted him, but there was all sorts of creepy, crawly shit out there, and I wasn’t a fan of walking where the path wasn’t cleared to give us a good line of sight at all times.

“There’s something I want you to see,” he told me. I shrugged, continued to follow, and resisted the urge to play twenty questions with him.

We came to a rock formation and Nick started to climb. I opened my mouth to protest, but decided to go with it. I shielded my eyes from the sun and looked up. It didn’t seem all that tall compared to some of the other formations in the area. I’d never done any sort of climbing, but this seemed like a good beginner climb. Even from the ground, I could see exactly where we’d need to place our feet. And the views from there would be amazing.

“How’d you find this place?” I asked as he started scaling the side of the formation. I followed, watching as he made quick work on the way to the top.

“Trevor,” he said, as if I knew who he was talking about. I didn’t dig for a better explanation since I figured it was more important to concentrate on not plummeting to our deaths. My knee twinged a few times on the way to the top, but I didn’t mention it to Nick because he’d abort his climb and I didn’t want to ruin whatever he had planned for us. If this did wind up being the last night we had together, I wanted it to be a good one.

By the time I got to the top, Nick was already sprawled out on the rock like a salamander in the sun. Okay, so thinking that made me shudder a bit because those suckers are disgusting, but it still fit. I licked my lips and started thinking about all the shit I’d love to do to him out here where no one could see us. I wondered if the sounds of both of us begging for more would echo through the valley, and the thought of someone rushing to our aid made me bust out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Nick asked. He held out his hand and took my camera bag before patting the rock next to him. He’d even managed to lay out the blanket I’d stuffed into the bottom of the pack just in case we needed a bit of padding. Or, you know, in case we wanted to become one with nature. Either way, it was good to be prepared.

I relayed my dirty thoughts to him and he smiled wickedly at me. My attention was drawn to his lap, where he’d started lightly rubbing himself through the fabric of his shorts. His cotton shorts did absolutely nothing to hide his arousal.

“You like that idea?” I teased, knowing there was no way in hell I was going to let him fuck me out here. Knowing my luck, the formation would shift and we’d be found days later, half eaten by coyotes with our asses hanging out.

Nick took my hand and placed it over his hard-on. “What do you think? Hell, you think you’re the only one thinking about sex? There isn’t much I could think of better than pounding deep into your ass while we watch the sunset.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “That is
not
happening,” I informed him. “It seems like one of those things that sounds hot as hell, but would leave both of us hurting tomorrow. Or worse.”

“Worse? Damn, baby, I can’t think of anything being bad when I’m with you,” he said sweetly. He was so damn cheesy half the time, but I loved it. It was fun to tease him about the times he sounded like a script from a low-budget porn. “You want me to show you how wrong you are?”

“No,” I lied. My voice betrayed my brain. My body wanted him to take the choice away from me and get me so turned on there was no way I could deny him. My brain, on the other hand, told me it’d be so much better if we waited until we got back to the house. We’d have no privacy since Mason’s parents were in the guesthouse now, but we’d manage. We had the past two nights with only a few knowing glances in the morning.

Nick pushed me back to the rocks, using the lumpy backpack as a pillow for my head. He leaned over me and nipped at the side of my neck. The fucker knew what his lips did to me. He dipped his tongue in the hollow of my throat, laughing at the completely unmasculine whimper that escaped my lips. His hand slid over my T-shirt to the waistband of my shorts. I wanted to beg him to keep going. I wanted to tell him to stop. My brain was short-circuiting with both too much and not enough attention from him.

I wrapped my arms around his back and tugged at the hem of his shirt. He took the hint and sat up long enough to strip from the waist up. My mouth watered as I stared at his nipples, which were pulled into taut buds. His skin, which had been Midwestern white boy pale at the start of spring training, was now a golden tan. He always looked good, but the tan made every highlight and shadow of his ripped stomach stand out in contrast.

“So damn sexy,” I told him as I trailed my fingers through the ridge at the center of his chest. “Going to miss having this in bed with me every night.”

Nick pressed a finger to my lips and kissed his way along my jaw. “Don’t think about what happens later,” he whispered. “Don’t think about anything other than what I’m doing to you right now.”