Switched (6 page)

He couldn’t be there when I talked to her. I wanted an honest conversation.

A nurse led me back to an activity room. A couch and a few chairs filled the room, along with a few small tables, some with half-completed puzzles on them. On one wall, a cabinet overflowed with beat up games and battered puzzles. Plants lined the windows, but otherwise it was deserted.

The nurse told me that my mother would be here soon, so I sat down at one of the tables and waited.

A very large, very strong looking orderly brought her into the room. I stood up when she came in, as some kind of misplaced show of respect. She was older than I had expected her to be. In my mind she had stayed frozen the way I saw her last, but she had to be in her mid-forties by now.

Her blond hair had turned into a frizzy mess thanks to the years of neglect, and she had it pulled back in a short pony tail. She was thin, the way she had always been, in a beautifully elegant borderline-anorexic way. A massive blue bathrobe hung on her, frayed and worn, the sleeves hung long down over her hands.

Her skin was pale porcelain, and even without any makeup, she was stunningly beautiful. More than that, she carried this regality with her. It was clear that she had come from money, that she had spent her life on top, ruling her school, her social circles, even her family.

“They said you were here, but I didn’t believe them,” my mother gave me a wry smirk.

She stood a few steps away from me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. The way she looked at me was the same way someone might inspect a particularly heinous looking bug just before they squashed it under their shoe.

“Hi, Mom,” I offered meekly, unable to think of anything better to say.

“Kim,” she corrected me coldly. “My name is Kim. Cut the pretense. I’m not your mother, and we both know it.” She gestured vaguely to the chair I had pushed out behind me and walked over to the table. “Sit. Take a seat.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, sitting down. She sat down across from me, crossing her legs and leaning back away from me, like I was contagious and she didn’t want to get sick.

“That’s what this is about it, isn’t it?” She waved her hand in front of her face, then laid it delicately on the table. Her nails were long and perfect, recently painted with a clear polish. “You’ve finally figured it out. Or have you always known? I never could tell.”

“No, I never knew,” I said quietly. “I still don’t know.”

“Look at you. You’re not my daughter,” my mother gave me a contentious look and clicked her tongue. “You don’t know how to dress or walk or even speak. You mutilate your nails.” She pointed her manicured hand at my chewed down fingernails. “And that hair!”

“Your hair isn’t any better,” I countered. My dark curls had been pulled up in their usual bun, but I had actually tried this morning when I was getting ready. I thought it looked pretty good, but apparently, I was wrong.

“Well…” She smiled humorlessly. “I work with what I got.” She looked away for a moment, then turned back to me, her icy gaze resting on me. “But what about you? You must have all the styling products in the world. Between Matthew and Maggie, I’m sure you’re spoiled rotten.”

“I get by,” I allowed sourly. She made it sound like I should feel ashamed for the things I had, like I had stolen them. Although, I suppose in her mind, I kinda had. 

“Who brought you here anyway?” The idea had just occurred to her, and she glanced behind her, as if she expected to see Matt or Maggie waiting in the wings.

“Matt,” I answered.

“Matthew?” She looked genuinely shocked. “There is no way he would condone this. He doesn’t even…” Sadness washed across her face and she shook her head. “He’s never understood. I did what I did to protect him too. I never wanted you to get your claws into him.” She touched at her hair and tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them back and her stony expression returned.

“He thinks he has to protect me,” I informed her, mostly because I knew it would bother her. Disappointingly, she didn’t look that upset. She just nodded understanding.

“For all his sense and maturity, Matthew can be incredibly naive. He thought of you as some lost, sick puppy he needed to care for.” She brushed a frizzy stand of hair from her forehead and stared off at a spot on the floor. “He loves you because he’s a good man, like his father, and that has always been his weakness.” Then she looked up hopefully. “Is he going to visit me today?”

“No.” I almost felt bad about telling her that, but she smiled bitterly at me and I remembered why she was here.

“You’ve turned him against me. I knew you would. But…” She shrugged emptily. “It doesn’t make things easier, does it?”

“I don’t know.” I leaned in towards her. “Look, M-… Kim. I am here for a reason. I want to know what I am.” I backtracked quickly. “I mean, what you think I am.”

“You’re a changeling,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m surprised you didn’t know that by now.”

My heart dropped, but I tried to keep my expression neutral. I pressed my hands flat on the table to keep from them shaking. It was just as I had suspected, and maybe I had always known.

When Finn told me, it had instantly made sense, but I don’t know why hearing it from her made things feel so different.

“A changeling?” I fought to keep my voice even. “What does that mean?”

“What do you think it means?” She snapped, looking at me like I was an idiot. “Changeling! You were changed out for another child! My son was taken and you were put in his place!”

Her cheeks reddened with rage, and the orderly took a step closer to her. She held up her hand and fought to keep herself contained.

“Why?” I asked, realizing that I should’ve asked Finn this question days earlier. “Why would anyone do that? Why would they take your baby? What did they do with him?”

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing.” She smiled painfully at me and fresh tears stood in her eyes. Her hands trembled when she touched her hair, and she all but refused to look at me. “You know what you did with him. You know far better than I do.”

“No, I don’t! What are you talking about?” I demanded in a hushed voice. The orderly gave me a hard look, and I had to at least look like I wasn’t freaking out.

“You killed him, Wendy!” My mother snarled, that sad smiled plastered on her face. She leaned in towards me, her hand clenched into a fist, and I knew she was using all her will power to keep from hurting me. “You
killed
him!”

“Mom…Kim, whatever!” I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. “That doesn’t make any sense. I was just a baby! How could I kill anything?”

“How did you get Matthew to drive you here?” she demanded through gritted teeth, and an icy chill ran down my spine. “He would never drive you here. He would never let you see me. But he did. What did you do to him to make him do it?” I lowered my eyes, unable to even pretend to be innocent. “Maybe that’s exactly what you did to Michael!” Her hands were clenched so tightly that her nails were digging into her, creating little half-moon cuts on her palms.

“I was just a baby,” I insisted without any real conviction. “I couldn’t have… Even if I did, there had to be more people involved. It doesn’t explain anything! Why would anybody take him or hurt him and put me in his place?”

“You were always evil,” she ignored my question. “I knew it from the moment I held you in my arms.” She had calmed herself a bit and leaned back in her chair. “It was in your eyes. They weren’t human. They weren’t kind or good.”

“Then why didn’t you just kill me then?” I asked, growing irritated.

“You were a baby!” Her hands shook, and her lips had started to quiver. She was losing the confidence she had come in with. “Well, I thought you were. You know I couldn’t be sure.” She pressed her lips together tightly, trying to hold back tears.

“What made you so sure?” I asked. “What made you decide that day? On my sixth birthday. Why that day? What happened?”

“You weren’t mine. I knew you weren’t.” She brushed at her eyes to keep the tears from spilling over. “I had known forever. But I just kept thinking about what the day should’ve been like. With my husband, and my son. Michael should’ve been six that day, not you. You were a horrible, horrible child, and you were alive. And he was dead. I just… it didn’t seem right anymore.”  She took a deep breath and shook her head. “It still isn’t right.”

“I was six years old.” My voice had started quavering, and I was surprised that this had gotten to me so hard. I had never thought this had bothered me. I had never felt anything about her or what happened.

“
Six-years-old
. Do you understand that? I was a little kid, and you were supposed to be my mother!” Whether she really was or not was irrelevant. I was a child, and she was in charge of raising me. “I had never done anything to anyone! I still haven’t! I never even met Michael!”

“You are
lying
!” my mother hissed. “You were always a liar! You’re a monster! And I know you’re doing things to Matthew! Just leave him alone! He’s a good boy!” She reached across the table and grabbed my wrist painfully, and the orderly came up behind her. “Take what you want! Take anything! Just leave Matthew alone!”

“Kimberly, come on.” The orderly put his strong hand on her arm, and she tried to pull away from him. “Kimberly!”

“Leave him alone!” she shouted again, and the orderly started pulling her up. She fought against him, screaming at me. “Do you hear me, Wendy? I will get out of here someday! And if you’ve hurt that boy, I will finish the job I started!”

“That’s enough!” The orderly bellowed, dragging her out of the room.

“You’re not human, Wendy! And I know it!” That was the last thing she yelled before he carried her out of my sight.

I sat in the room long after she’d gone, trying to catch my breath and get myself under control. Matt couldn’t see me like that. I really, really thought I was going to throw up, but I managed to keep it down.

Everything was true. I was a changeling. I wasn’t human. She wasn’t my mother. She was just Kim, a woman who had lost her grasp on reality when she realized I wasn’t her child. I had been switched out for her son, Michael, and I had no idea what had happened to him.

Maybe he was dead. Maybe I really had killed him, or someone else had. Maybe someone like Finn.

She was convinced that I was a monster, and I had nothing to argue that with. In my life, I had caused nothing but pain. I had ruined Matt’s life, and I was still.

Not only did he constantly have to uproot himself for me and spend every minute worrying about me, but I was manipulating and controlling him, and I couldn’t say for sure how long that had been going on. I didn’t know the long-term effects of it either.

Maybe it would’ve been better if she had killed me when I was six. Or better yet, when I was still a baby. Then I wouldn’t have been able to hurt anybody.

When I finally went out to the waiting room, Matt rushed over to hug me. I stood there, but I didn’t hug him back. He inspected me to make sure I was alright. He had heard there was some kind of scuffle and was petrified that something had happened to me. I just nodded and got out of there as fast as I could.

5. Insanity

“So…” Matt began on the drive home. I rested my forehead against the cold glass of the car window and refused to look at him. I had barely even spoken since we left. “What did you say to her?”

“Things,” I replied vaguely.

“No, really,” he pressed. “What happened?”

“I tried talking to her, she got upset,” I sighed. “She said I was a monster. You know, the usual.”

“I don’t know why you even wanted to see her. She is a terrible person.”

“Oh, she’s not that bad.” My breath fogged up the window, and I started drawing stars in the mist. “She’s really worried about you. She’s afraid I’m going to hurt you.”

“Oh,” Matt scoffed. “That woman is insane! She obviously is since she lives there, but… You can’t listen to her, Wendy. You aren’t letting anything she said get to you, are you?”

“No,” I lied. Pulling my sleeve up over my hand, I erased my drawings on the window and sat up straighter. “How do you know?”

“What?”

“That she is insane. That… I’m not a monster.” I twisted nervously at my thumb ring and stared at Matt, who just shook his head. “I’m being serious. What if I am bad?”

Matt suddenly put on his turning signal and pulled his car over to the shoulder. Rain pounded down on the windows as other cars sped by us on the freeway. He turned to face me completely, putting an arm on the back of his seat.

“Wendy Luella Everly, there is nothing bad about you.
Nothing
,” Matt emphasized solemnly. “That woman is completely insane. I don’t know why, but she was never a mother to you. You can’t listen to her. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“Be serious, Matt,” I shook my head. “I’ve gotten expelled from every school I’ve ever gone to. I’m unruly and whiny and stubborn and so picky. I know that you and Maggie have to struggle with me all the time.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re bad. You’ve had a
really
traumatic childhood, and yeah, you’re still working through some things, but you are not bad,” Matt insisted. “You are a strong-willed teenager who isn’t afraid of anything. That’s all.”

“At some point that has to stop being an excuse! Sure she tried to kill me, but I have to take responsibility for who I am as a person.” What I was saying was true, and the painful knot in my stomach only seemed to grow larger.

“You are!” Matt actually smiled at that. “Since we’ve moved here, you have shown so much promise. Your grades are going up, and you’re making friends. And even if that makes me a little uncomfortable, I know it’s a good thing for you. You’re growing up, Wendy, and you’re going to be okay.”

“Okay,” I nodded, unable to think of an argument for that.

“I know I don’t say it enough, but I’m proud of you, and I love you.” Matt bent over so he could kiss the top of my head. He hadn’t done that since I was little, and it stirred something inside me. I closed my eyes and refused to cry. He straightened back up in his seat and looked at me seriously. “Okay? Are you okay now?”