Teach Me (4 page)

Five

Somehow, I managed to fall asleep with the vibrator still buried in my pussy, and when Lucas kisses me awake, my body is shivering. I lost track of how many times I came and I am actually terrified of touching my clit every again when he removes the attachments. He unties me and I pull out the thing in my ass. It is the handle of one of my wooden kitchen spoons. I guess I won’t use that one again. I take a fast shower, since Lucas is a little late. I don’t want to tell him, though, because I don’t know what my punishment will be and I need to get to work.

When I am dressed, I go to him on the bed. He looks tired and I am pretty sure there are bruises forming, but they’re still too fresh to tell.

“What happened to you?” I ask.

“I told you. No questions,” he says. “I left some money on the table. Get yourself some clothes today. But I want you home by five. I need to leave at seven and my cock needs to be buried in you.”

“I promise,” I say. “Any requests for clothing?”

“Anything easy to rip off,” he smiles.

Damn, this kid will be the death of me. I don’t think I can take much more of his intensity, but yet I refuse to walk away from him. It’s only been a couple of days and I have had more sex – more fantastic sex – than I have had in years. I know I need to address the drugs and the fighting rumors, but every time I try, he distracts me with his monster cock. I feel so weak, being such a slut that I need his cock desperately.

I realize suddenly that I am supposed to dance tomorrow. I know I told him that I would quit, but I need to give notice, and I bring it up before I leave. His eyes darken.

“Why can’t you just quit?”

“Because it’s rude,” I tell him. “You can’t come to the club? You can make sure no one touches me.”

“Not this weekend,” he says. “And I don’t like the idea of another guy having his hands on you.”

“They can’t touch us, you know. Not without permission. And no one is getting my permission.”

“Fine,” he says. “Tomorrow?”

I nod.

“You come home right away after work. I will fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to take another guy tomorrow night.”

I don’t bother to tell him that I have no interest in another guy. I kind of like the idea of him fucking me to claim me.

I rush out the door to work. My pussy still feels like it’s vibrating.

****

Lucas gave me a
lot
of money and I feel a little bad spending it. However, I figure he will punish me if I don’t, and, although his punishments have thus far been wonderful, I want to make him happy. I buy plenty of easily torn clothes and some incredibly sexy panties. I know he’ll love those. I debate, but decide to go ahead and buy the fuck me pumps I see. Let’s be honest. The clothes are for work, but they’re also to drive Lucas wild when I get home.

When I get home, he’s agitated. I don’t know what’s wrong, but he doesn’t seem okay.

“Hi,” I purr and come up behind him, slipping my hands down his pants. His cock springs into readiness and I play with it. “Miss me?”

“Sorry, but I can’t right now.”

I take my hand out and sit across from him. “What’s up?”

His eyes are bloodshot. I hope it’s not a drug thing, but the alternative is that he has been crying, which is worse. “I had something I needed to do this weekend, but someone fucked up. And now, I don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“Tonight, too?”

He shakes his head. “No, tonight’s good, but there was some big money resting on this weekend.”

“Can I ask you something, Lucas?”

He nods. “
Sure.”

“There’s a rumor going around school. Something involving you, Tim Pollen, and Kade McNamara. And underground fighting.”

“I told you. Things went south for me by the time I graduated. Tim came to me and said I could make a lot of money fast. I was already messing around with drugs and, well, I needed some extra cash. I didn’t realize just how much money I could make, nor how good I would be at it. Things were going well. Until Kade turned 18 a month ago.”

“You’re fighting for money?”

“Don’t act like it’s a big deal. You show men your cunt for money.”

I can’t really find a retort for that, so I keep my mouth shut.

“The point is that I moved up fast and I was on top. And then Kade came along and Tim is giving him some of my fights. Including one this weekend possibly. If he fights well tomorrow, I lose the whole tournament. Which is a big payout.”

“I would hate to see you face off against Kade,” I admit.

“I could take him. He’s big, but he’s dumb.”

“Anyway, I’m kind of screwed.”

“How much do you spend on drugs?” It’s a tough question, but it’s important. He’s been staying with me, but I am not ready to take him in permanently yet and he needs to focus on keeping the money coming in going out to the right things. I may not need the money he’s throwing at me, but if he’s wasting it to get high…

“Drugs are recreational. I can stop anytime.”

“That’s what addicts say.”

“Well, I’m not an addict. And besides, you don’t seem to mind when I can keep an erection all fucking night.”

That hurts, but he’s right. I haven’t said a word, because it makes him fuck me better. I’m as bad as Tim Pollen.

“You’ll figure it out,” I say weakly.

“I hope so. But I have to leave soon. And I need something sweet to help me fight tonight. How about giving me some of that pussy?”

We should have a conversation. We should talk. Instead, I strip and jump onto the kitchen counter, where Lucas comes over to me and enters me hard. He has to leave soon and this needs to be fast, but he satisfies me just fine even in the short period of time. When he leaves, though, I’m feeling really horny still. I have to grade some papers and I am thinking about Lucas’s cock when my phone buzzes.
Remember I said I used to come all over your homework? It would turn me on to know you were grading while your pussy was wet. I left the strap on in your drawer. Take a picture?
Fuck, he’s hot and he’s read my mind. I run upstairs to get the toy, get the straps in place, and put it on its highest setting. Then I settle down to read papers, sure to take a nice picture first for Lucas. His only response is
Fuck. Tomorrow it’s mine.

It’s really difficult to focus on grading while my pussy is being stimulated like this and all I can think about is Lucas stroking his cock while he did classwork I assigned. It’s incredibly sexy and I wonder how many times it happened. I am drenched and I squirt everywhere several times while I grade. My comments are probably incoherent, but my cunt feels damn good and the papers are far less awful to read. This is definitely the first time I have enjoyed grading so much. I come one more time and then put the papers away, before I let the vibrator be my primary focus for a while. I drift off after I lower the buzzing, and have pleasant dreams about Lucas and his cock. It’s nearly dawn when they are broken by one of Kade McNamara beating him to within an inch of his life – and when he gets home safely, I decide to call out of work, needing to hold him because it felt too real to lose him.

Six

“Lucas, I need you to hold me,” I tell him. “I had the worst dream about you and Kade McNamara.”

“Fuck that guy,” he says.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Let me take a shower and then I am all yours, okay?”

He goes to the shower and I realize I need to see him, to hold him. I can’t wait and I go in the bathroom, seeing his ass pressed against the shower doors. This is probably a bad idea, because getting in the shower with him is going to result in us both getting dirty, but I have to be close to him. I step out of my pajamas and slide the door open. Lucas turns to face me and his eyes are full of humor. However, it’s his body that stops me from reaching for his cock and having some fun. There are bruises everywhere. When we’ve fucked, it has been so rough and carnal that I didn’t even notice, and maybe these bruises are all new, but his body is half black and blue.

“Oh, Lucas,” I say and touch one of the bruises near his stomach.

“It’s fine. You know what I do,” he says. “This is the result. Some fights are tougher than others.”

“Was this Kade?”

He shakes his head. “I haven’t fought Kade, but he is getting my fight this weekend. Which means tonight I can go with you to work at least.”

I smile. “You can pretend there is no one else there and I’m dancing just for you. And when we get home, I will.”

“Miss Lawlor, you are wild and you make me feel like I have something to look forward to.”

“Like this?” I reach for his cock and get him hard. His eyes are wicked and he reaches one arm under my ass and lifts me up, pushing me up against the shower wall.
It takes him no time to get into position and enter me, but it’s actually not rough this morning. Something is wrong and I feel like I am watching the walls and the tough guy act shatter as his sad eyes meet mine.

“I love you,” he whispers and it’s more shocking than anything he has said or done this far. I don’t know how to respond. Love? I don’t love Lucas. I love fucking Lucas. I love how wild he is and how good he makes me feel, but I don’t really know Lucas. I wonder if I would have even gotten myself into this situation if it were not for some of the illicitness of fucking my old student. I don’t want to say anything, so instead I dig my knuckles into his shoulder blade and kiss him hard, riding his cock until he begins to grow rough against his will. I finally get that fucking me is substitution for something, a sense of earning something he doesn’t feel he deserves, and it actually turns me on that it’s as fucked up and corrupt as it is. In the years I have been teaching, I have never fantasized about a student, nor have I had these kinds of thoughts, but with Lucas, I love the raw wrongness of it.

I ride him faster and he slips a hand behind my head to protect me as he rams me against the wall. The hot water spills over us and it’s slippery and awkward and tense, but it’s oh, so fucking good. I tighten and he slams me back, burying his head in my shoulder, and screams so loud I worry about bothering the neighbors. I clutch at his ass, his back, his head, my hands losing control as I come around him and he meets me in the orgasm. In this moment, if he asked, I would tell him that I love him, because he makes me feel like the world is ending – and I can’t wait for the apocalypse to come.

We both slow as our orgasms fade and he lifts me off of him. He grabs the soap and rinses me off, being gentle and sweet, as his hand washes me between the legs. His eyes are so sad, and
I want to play rough again. Anything to bring back the hard part of him, to avoid this vulnerable weakness that just makes me feel bad about what I am doing. In this moment, I remember he is barely an adult. What if I fuck him up even more than he is already fucked up.

After we are washed and then dried, I lead him to the bed. “You’re tense,” I tell him.

“I just want to be good enough. I was good enough until fucking Kade McNamara came along.”

“You’re good enough,” I tell him.

“Not for me. I need to beat him. I need to kick his ass.”

“Well, you can practice.”

“You don’t understand. Kade isn’t right in the head – and he has no fear. I still have fear. The only way to get rid of the fear is to get so high I don’t feel a fucking thing.”

“It’s dangerous,” I whisper.

“It is, but it’s the only way, baby.”

I want to argue, to tell him he doesn’t need to fight, but something in his eyes says he needs this – that fighting is the only thing keeping him from hurting someone for real. I imagine him losing his parents, then his sister, and I see why, but I don’t know enough about it to get him to open up to me. And he wants me to make it okay by being the idea of myself that he crushed on for years. Getting serious is not in the cards right now, regardless of his immature professions of love. He loves the idea of fucking his teacher and he is transferring that to me as a person. Maybe someday, but now, I can only keep Lucas safe by giving him what he needs most. And that is wild and dirty sex.

“I want you to be rough,” I tell him. “As rough as you can.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I love when you are aggressive.”

He growls and flips me over, pushing me down on the bed. “I can be rough. I can fuck you like the dirty slut you are.”

“Yes,” I whisper.

He forces my legs apart as far as they will go and then he shoves his entire fist into my pussy. I didn’t think something like this was possible, but it goes in, and it feels fucking good when it does. I jerk my body under him, taking more of him in and I can’t believe how dirty he is.

“You fucking slut,” he says.

He bites my nipples hard as he fists me and I realize I called out of work for this. My professionalism is a joke, but Lucas is suddenly the focal point of my life. Or getting laid is. One or the other.
I come around his fist and then he pulls it out, forcing me to lick my own juices off of his hand. I am ready when he starts to fuck me, and I wrap my legs tight around him. He pushes me down harder onto the bed and then wraps his hands around my throat. I don’t think anything of it until he starts to choke me – and then I panic. I can’t remember the fucking safe word, but this is not okay. He grips tighter and I can’t catch my breath, and I flail under him, but he just thinks it’s sexy and chokes me harder, slamming my head back into the bed repeatedly. I gasp, trying to speak, but I can’t make a sound and then I’m scratching at his back, hitting him with my balled fists, trying to get him to understand, but he’s lost in the roughness of it. I look around the room in a panic and remember.

“Lampshade,” I rasp.

He doesn’t hear me and keeps pounding, so I try again. The room is spinning and I am growing dizzy.

“Lampshade.”

He looks down at me, curious. “What’s that, slut? Did you say something?” He leans in closer and I gasp into his ear. The response is instantaneous. He is out of me and off the bed, looking terrified.

I try to catch my breath, hyperventilating, and bring my hands to my throat. I feel the bruising starting, and I realize he could have crushed my windpipe so easily. I wonder if Lucas even knows his own strength and I think perhaps it is not safe to keep up with the rough play. Not if it will get me injured – or even killed. He keeps staring, his eyes wide.

“Miss Lawlor, I am so sorry,” he says and collapses against the wall. He brings his knees up to his chin and he’s shaking.

I catch my breath and sit up. “Lucas, it’s okay. You didn’t know.”

“What if I hadn’t heard you? I could have killed you. I am such a fucking freak,” he cries.

I get off the bed and kneel between his legs, cupping his face. “Baby, look at me. I asked you to be rough. You didn’t know. Now, we know that’s a no-go, but we can still play dirty. I love when you’re dirty with me.”

He shakes his head and there are ghosts in his eyes that I don’t recognize. I can’t make this better, so I just get up and leave him to relax. I make coffee and sit in the living room, running my fingertips along my collarbone. I don’t play these games, and maybe there’s a reason why I don’t. For a moment, I really thought Lucas wanted me dead. I know it’s stupid, but he has such a fine threshold of control that it’s dangerous to play with fire like this.

I check my work email, where there’s a memo from the principal about Kade. Looks like the drugs he was on were verified. Meth, steroids, and cocaine? It seems like that would kill a person. I wonder if that’s the kind of shit Lucas has been messing around with, which worries me. And if Kade is on steroids, doesn’t that disqualify him from fighting? Or am I assuming that
underground fight clubs have rules and ethics? Of course they don’t. Otherwise, Kade and Lucas and the rest of them would go do it right. Where they would make less money and not need the drugs that I can almost bet that Tim provides.

By the time Lucas comes out of the bedroom, I’m reeling. “We need to talk,” I tell him. “What drugs have you been messing with?”

He shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Look, they just suspended Kade for drugs. They found meth, cocaine, and steroids in his system. None of which I should be telling you, because it’s a breach of confidence, but that scares the shit out of me, Lucas.”

“I don’t take steroids. I fight clean. I’ve never done coke. But I do use meth. Most days. It helps me maintain my stamina, stay awake all night and be raging for fights, and it stops me from feeling anything while I take a beating. But it doesn’t make me a better fighter. That’s all me.”

“I don’t think I can keep doing this, if you’re messing around with that shit, Lucas.”

“What if I cut back only to fight nights?”

“What if you just stop?”

“Miss Lawlor, you don’t understand. I was at the top. Kade is beating me, because he is a dirty fighter and a fucking cheat. It’s my only chance to use a little pick me up. I need to beat him to stay in.”

“And what if you’re out? So what? You need to get a real job?” I snap.

“It’s not that easy. You don’t get out. You lose. And you lose a lot. And if you lose that much in Tim’s groups, well, you don’t have to worry about losing anymore.”

“Are you seeing your life is in danger?”

“I’m saying I need to beat Kade McNamara. And I need a boost to do it.”

“I don’t know, Lucas. I don’t think I can continue then,” I tell him.

He looks at me, his mouth hanging open, and then he turns around, punching a giant hole right through my living room wall. Saying nothing, he gets his keys and disappears. I don’t know when or if he’ll be back, but I’m as pissed as I am worried now.