Test Drive (Crossroads Book 3) (7 page)

“That it is.” Justin exited the freeway and then asked, “How’s Shanen?” Because he didn’t know what else to talk about. It had been two weeks since the party at her house. They talked a few days ago on the phone, and she stopped by to see their dad often, but Justin tried to give her space when she did. Both Shanen and Landon had missed so many years with their dad, it didn’t feel right to encroach on that time.

“She’s good. Keeping busy with work, her husband, and everything else she does. We have a strong sister. She’ll always be okay.”

The words stabbed at his heart. They weren’t meant to be taken negatively but they were. Landon and Shanen would always know each other better than Justin would know them. They would always have stories that Justin would never be a part of. “That’s good to hear.”

“She’s always been mentally tough. I’m not sure I’d be with Rod right now if it weren’t for her. If she hadn’t helped me to get past my fears, I might have let myself walk away from the love of my life before I even had the chance to realize that’s who he was.”

He was surprised at Landon’s admission. They didn’t talk about things that really mattered much. He figured there were too many to choose from, or they were both just tired of the heavy, so when they spoke, it was usually about superficial topics instead of the elephant that was always in the room.

“I’m glad you guys had each other.” And he was, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a very real part of him that was jealous too.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”

“No. It’s okay. It is what it is,” Justin added as he made another turn. There was no reason for Landon to feel guilty about anything that had happened to them. He’d done nothing wrong. That had all been their father.

“So…Dad and your mom…they never tried to have any other kids or anything?” He heard the slight quiver in Landon’s voice. The pain in the question. Justin had been an accident. Did their dad
try
to have other kids after leaving Landon and Shanen behind?

“She got pregnant once. I don’t know if it was intentional or not. She lost the baby. It was hard on her. Dad had a vasectomy not long afterward.”

Landon nodded, and Justin didn’t know what to say after that. Fuck, this was hard.

“When we were kids, Shanen wanted a little sister. Mom was single, of course. She never dated anyone seriously after Dad left, so Shanen did all this research on adoption. This will give you a little insight into our sister. She wrote a ten-page paper about the benefits of adoption. How many kids were looking for homes, what feeling unwanted could do to someone’s mental health, and basically ragged on having a brother and how much happier she would be with a sister.”

He laughed and Justin found himself smiling too.

“Well hell. I’ve already disappointed her since I’m a man.”

“You and me both, brother,” Landon added and the word brother settled into Justin’s chest. It was a figure of speech like
bro
, or
man
, but it still sent warmth through him.

“What’d she do with the paper?” Justin asked.

“She sat Mom and me down and presented the whole damn thing to us like a speech. I just wanted to go outside and play. Mom tried not to laugh because Shanen put so much work into it. Obviously, there was no sister, but Shanen was proud of herself regardless. She’s always been that way. She’s a good person. She goes for what she wants.”

Justin realized then that he wanted to hear more. Wanted to know those stories. To be a part of them. He had stories of their dad, but he couldn’t tell those. How could he? How could he say,
Hey, this is what I did with our dad after he left you?
It wouldn’t be right. So he asked, “Have you always been close?”

“Yeah,” Landon replied. “Always. I think that’s why it bothers her so much that Jacob isn’t close to his brother. I could see the tension between them at the party. Could you?”

Yes…yes he could. He also knew about it from Drew. There was a small twinge of guilt at that, like Landon was opening up to him and Justin was keeping something from him. “Yeah. And what do you mean it bothers her?”

“She just wants them to be close. I think this—what’s happening with us has to do with it as well. She called me angry the other day because she got in an argument with Jacob about his brother. I guess she wants to involve him more in their lives, bring them closer, but Jacob isn’t having it.”

First, Jacob sounded like a dickhead to him. What the fuck was his problem with Drew? It all sounded pretty superficial to Justin. Second, he realized Landon and Shanen really were close. They leaned on each other and spoke to each other. He envied them that. And third, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to bring up the fact that he and Drew had spoken, flirted, spent the night together—even if Justin had been passed out on the couch—and that he thought he wanted to hang out with the man again. He didn’t want to cause any problems within his new family.

Which probably meant he shouldn’t spend time with Drew at all.

Justin didn’t respond because they’d pulled into the parking lot of Nick’s. It was a nice restaurant. The sign boasted about their unique comfort food.

A fucking restaurant.

It wasn’t that he had a problem with working in one, but it just added to the already massive mountain of changes in his life. He’d finally decided to pursue a career he would love, and now, even though it was temporary, it felt like going backward instead of forward.

They made their way inside to see Nick standing at the hostess counter waiting for them. The dark-haired man held out his hand for Justin and he shook it. “Hey, Justin. It’s good to see you again.”

“Good to see you as well. I appreciate you giving me this job under the circumstances.” The truth was, he’d likely only work a day or two a week. This wasn’t permanent. When his father passed, he’d go back to North Carolina. That couldn’t be the kind of employee Nick was looking for.

“It’s no problem. Seriously. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t want to. It works out perfectly, actually. One of my waitresses took a semester off college so she’s looking to pick up hours, but not permanently. She can take the hours you don’t, and then when you leave and she’s back in school, I can hire someone else on. It helps her out, and she’s a good kid, so that’s important to me.”

That was nice of him. Justin respected him for it. Not a lot of employers would look at it that way.

Nick gave him a tour of the restaurant, a uniform, and a few other things. He’d already filled out all of the information he needed to online.

If he was being honest, he hated it. Hated this whole situation. He didn’t want to wait tables a day or two per week. He wanted his life back, but he also knew that he couldn’t continue doing nothing. Some days he felt like he would burst at the seams from all the pent-up energy.

It wasn’t long before they were on their way out again. Just as he turned for the driver’s side, Landon grabbed a hold of his arm. “Listen…I was thinking I’d like to take Dad out on my motorcycle before the weather changes and…before he’s not able. Not right now, but soon. Shan said I should talk to you about it first.” Landon let go of him and ran a hand of over his face. “And hell, part of me is nervous to do it at all. It feels like…like too much. Because I’m still pissed at him. So fucking pissed it hurts to look at him. I don’t know how you do it, man. How you let go of that, but I know it’s important to try.”

Justin’s gut rolled and his muscles went rigid. He hadn’t let go of anything. He’d told Landon that, and the more time that passed, he realized he was more and more angry too because he didn’t know his own fucking place in his family.

He didn’t answer with any of that, though. He just smiled and said, “Yeah, I think he’d like that.” Justin knew his dad would love it because, more than anything, he knew that man wanted to fix his relationship with his first son.

“Good workout today, Martha. You should be proud of yourself.” Drew wrapped his arm around the older woman and gave her a quick hug.

“I am. Thank you. I…I feel a little invincible.” She smiled, having used the gym’s name, and Drew’s chest filled with warmth. She’d never exercised at a gym a day in her life before she came to see him six months ago. Her husband of thirty-five years had passed away of a heart attack at the age of sixty-five, and Martha made the decision that she wanted to start taking care of herself in different ways. To make sure she was around to torture her grandkids the same way she’d done her children, she’d joked with Drew.

“You are,” he told her. He loved this part of his job. Loved making people fall in love with physical activity and hard work.

“You better watch out.” Martha winked and squeezed his bicep. “I’ll be just as strong as you before you know it.” He chuckled and watched as she made her way to the women’s locker room. He didn’t have another client today, but did have a mountain of paperwork in his office that he needed to get done. He’d put it off too long, and set today up specifically so he could take a couple hours for it.

Drew turned to head for the desk so he could let his front desk manager know that she was in charge while Drew went to his office. That’s when he saw him—Justin standing at the circular counter in a black, sleeveless T-shirt. He was leaning over the counter, speaking to Robyn, and damned if Drew didn’t realize he was smiling.

Drew crossed his arms and walked, slipping behind the counter to stand beside Robyn. “Well, look who it is,” he said to Justin.

“I heard you’re running a special. No registration fee.”

Robyn started, “Oh no. We’re not—”

“It’s okay, Robyn. Thanks. I’ll take care of him.”

She looked back and forth between Drew and Justin for a moment, before heading to the computer and sitting down.

“You’re here,” Drew said and then immediately realized he was a fucking idiot. Obviously, Justin was here since he stood right in front of him. He felt slightly off balance, a little surprised to see him, though he wasn’t sure why it mattered so much.

“That I am. There’s no contract, right? I feel like you have to hand over your life to cancel your gym membership.”

“How very Chandler of you,” Drew replied. “I’m pretty sure we can work something out. Follow me.” He led Justin to one of the three tables to the left of the front desk where they signed up new members. He sat on one side of the large, dark pine while Justin sat on the other side.

“It’s nice,” Justin told him, as he leaned forward with his elbows on the desk. “I like it.”

He looked around, tried to see it through Justin’s eyes—the inspiring quotes on the walls. The two sections, some with mirrors and some without. Some people fed off seeing themselves as they worked out, others didn’t. He wanted the environment comfortable for everyone.

On the other side of the desks where they sat was a juice bar for smoothies. He had bright couches in the area for people to relax after changing if they wanted.

“Thanks. We have a room for cycle classes. They kick your ass. There are saunas in the locker rooms and obviously weights, resistance, and cardio.” He felt odd, as though he was trying to sell himself to Justin, which in a way he was. That was part of the gig.

Justin shrugged. “I love a good cardio workout.”

Drew grinned. “Are we talking sex here?”

Playfully, Justin gasped. “Someone has their mind in the gutter…but now that you mention it, it does burn a whole hell of a lot of calories in a fun way.”

It wasn’t as if he could argue about that. It had been a while since Drew had sex, and if he was being honest, the idea was quite appealing. But he’d be lying if he didn’t admit there were nerves as well since he’d never fucked a man before. “True. Unfortunately, it doesn’t go over real well in a public gym.”

“Sometimes they make the shittiest laws. People are offended by everything.”

He couldn’t help but laugh and Justin did too. He had a million things to do that afternoon, but still he found himself pulling out the forms to be signed. There was no reason he couldn’t have Robyn do this, but he knew he wouldn’t. Paperwork could wait. He’d come back in tonight to do it if he had to.

Drew handed the forms to Justin. They spoke about fees and he entered Justin’s information into the computer. He was silent as Drew did so, looking down and picking at the brand name on his basketball shorts.

There was something heavy in the set of his shoulders, which really wasn’t a fucking epiphany or anything. The guy was going through hell, but Drew had a feeling today had been an especially bad day. The urge was there, teasing at his tongue to ask him, but Drew didn’t know if he should. If it was his place. If he were in Justin’s situation, he doubted he would want to talk about it.

“Come on.” Drew stood after finishing the paperwork. “I’ll give you a tour. I was going to work out anyway, if you want some company.”

Justin paused, studied Drew in a way he didn’t understand and then said, “Yeah, I think I’d like that. Just don’t try to show me up. I’d hate to have to embarrass you.”

Drew playfully rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t think of it…but…what did you call it? Pretentious?”

“What? I would never say a thing like that!”

They moved around the desk and toward the main section of the gym. “Oh, my bad. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Maybe that’s some internalized shit going on there. It’s okay to admit that you like to look sexy. That you want people’s eyes on you.”

Drew nudged him in the side with his elbow. “You keep calling me that.”

“It’s true. Should I not, though? Fuck. I’m sorry. I don’t think anyone heard me. I didn’t think about that.”

“No, no,” Drew told him. No, it wasn’t really a known fact that he was bisexual, but Drew also didn’t worry about keeping it a secret. If people found out, they did. He wasn’t ashamed of who he was attracted to. “It’s fine. Call me sexy all you want.”

“Oh, so you like it when I flirt with you?”

“Who doesn’t like to be flirted with? Now quit stalling and come on. Don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you think I’m hot.”

Justin laughed a deep, throaty laugh that Drew liked the sound of.