The Cheer Leader (10 page)

“She's going to get into trouble.” I took off my dress and hung it back up. I had three hours before time to go.

“Nah, her parents are gone. Cindy and I are going over there later.” Tricia put on her sunglasses and took her car keys out of her pocketbook. “Good luck!” I walked to the door with them and then watched as they drove away. For some reason I felt oddly left out. It was the first time that I had been the only one with a real date.

I started getting nervous when Bobby and I were halfway to the lake. He had been quiet the whole time. “Are you thinking about Nancy being there?” I finally asked.

“Why do you ask that?”

“Just wondering.”

He was quiet again and then finally, he started talking. “Yeah, I guess I'd like to see her.” I didn't say anything. “You don't like her, do you?”

“It's not that,” I said. “But you know, she did dump you.”

“That was a long time ago.” He stared straight ahead. “By the way, what's going on with Red?”

“Nothing. I just met him.” For the first time it registered
with me that Bobby actually knew Red, that he could probably tell me a lot about him, and about Buffy. “What do you think of Red?”

“He's okay.” Bobby shrugged. “He used to be sort of wild, don't know if he still is or not.”

“Wild like how?” I held my breath waiting for Bobby to tell me something really awful.

“Ah, just hanging out with a rough crowd, partying all the time.”

“I don't think he's that way now,” I said. “Besides I'm not that way and he knows me.”

“Good, as long as you can take care of yourself.” Sometimes he sounded more like Mama than Mama. And I could take care of myself. I knew all of the rules that had been preached better than I knew the Pledge of Allegiance: Stay in a group, don't drink anything (like a Coke) unless you open it and fix it yourself, and on top of that, act like a lady. I kept thinking about those rules that my mother had stressed and I could not help but wonder again why everyone didn't have rules.

When I got there, I stayed in a group. That wasn't hard because it was in a mobile home that belonged to one of Red's friends, a guy named Dwayne who clearly was from the shady side of the lake. The room had thick red carpet, heavy Spanish looking chairs and a sofa, mirrored tiles on one wall and a Playmate pinup on the door leading to the kitchen. I looked at the mirrored wall and from that angle, I could survey the group. The only people that I knew other than Red and Bobby were Beatrice and Mark Fuller who were sitting in one of the chairs together.
I was the only girl in a dress; everyone else was in jeans, Red included, and I felt very conspicuous and out of place. I looked like I was on my way to revival and everyone else was going on a hayride. I was thinking that Bobby must be feeling just as uncomfortable as I did but he was talking to Tom and some other guys from his class. Then, Buffy and Nancy came in and for the first time, I was glad to see them. They had on dresses, too.

“What's the matter?” Red asked and at first I thought that he was still talking to Dwayne.

“I feel sort of dressed up.”

“Don't worry about it.” He put his arm around me. “You look great.” He pulled me closer than he had at the lake that day and I was all scrunched up against his chest. He had on a white Izod that made him look more like Bobby and his crew than like his friend Dwayne, who was wearing a filthy workshirt, and I could not help but wonder if Red always dressed that way or if he had done it for me. I liked to think that he had spent as much time as I had getting ready. He pulled me towards the kitchen where some people were dipping this stuff out of a trash can and drinking it.

“What's that?” I asked when Dwayne started laughing and spit a purple mouthful on another boy's shirt.

“Little bit of everything. Want to try it?” Red was pulling me through all the people and one girl, Beatrice's friend, was swaying back and forth with her eyes closed and sloshed some of her stuff right down the front of my dress. My mother was going to die when she saw it, and worse, when she smelled it.

“No one will notice.” Red was scooping me a cupful.

Never drink something at a party unless you fix it yourself. I had remembered another one. “Don't you want it?” Red was whispering in my neck and his grip got firmer around my waist.

“I can't,” I blurted and he gave me an odd look so I had to think of something fast. “I'd much rather have a Tom Collins.” I had never had one before but I had heard of it and it was the first thing that came to mind. Pat Reeves had told me once that he liked Tom Collins'. He had even mixed me one one time but I didn't drink it. I had already decided that I was going to drink this one. Red maneuvered us over to the counter and I watched him mix it about half and half and the first swallow made my whole face pucker. After that it was easy and I felt like talking. I pushed my way back through to find Bobby just so he'd know that I was having a little drink and that there was nothing to worry about. Actually, I wanted his approval which I did not get because he was standing in the hallway with Nancy Carson and they were whispering what seemed to be serious things. Bobby was drinking some of that purple stuff and that was all I needed to see. Everything was just fine.

Red waved from across the room. “How did you get away so fast?” He was pushing through to where I was. I waved and stood waiting for him to get there.

“Hi Jo. Didn't know you were here.” Beatrice was standing right beside me. “I'm really surprised to see you down here.” She kept staring at me and her eyes looked funny. “Where's the rest of your little crew?” Mark Fuller
was right beside her and he was staring, too, first at my calves and then at my chest. I didn't have anything to say and just stood uncomfortably while Mark and Beatrice continued their perusal.

“Hey, I better hold on to you, not gonna let you get away again.” Red put his arm around me and I was so relieved to see him. “Do you know Beatrice and Mark?”

“We're in the same class,” Beatrice said. “We just never see each other. We used to.”

“Hey, Red, let's go outside for a minute,” Mark said and tossed his long hair towards the door. “Your little girl will be fine with Beatrice.”

“Maybe later.” Red gripped me tighter.

“Yeah,” Beatrice said and rubbed her hands up and down the front of Mark Fuller's shirt and then down around his thighs. “Besides, if you're going to smoke a joint, I'm going, too. I bought the stuff, you know.”

“That's not it,” he said and grinned at Red. “I need to talk to Red about something, something private, you know?” He was staring at Red now and he was so ugly that I couldn't bear to look at him. “Come on, Red. She ain't gonna disappear.” He leaned right in my face. “Poof!” he said and I looked away. I told Red that I didn't mind, even though I did, just so Mark Fuller would leave.

“I'll just be a minute,” Red whispered and kissed me on the cheek. Then I watched him push back through the crowd of people with Mark Fuller right behind him.

“So, what have you been doing, Beatrice?”

“The same,” she said and stepped closer. “I didn't know you dated Red.”

“This is the first time.” I looked around but I didn't see Bobby anywhere.

“God, he'll be right back,” Beatrice said and laughed. “What's in the cup? Kool-Aid?”

“I see you're still dating Mark,” I said because I couldn't think of anything else.

“Yeah.” She laughed again. “Remember when you had a crush on Mark?” I nodded and it made me cringe to think that I ever had, that she would even remind me. “Of course, I'd never tell him that,” she continued. “He might have a thing about cheerleaders.”

“It's obvious that he's crazy about you,” I said which wasn't obvious but again, I couldn't think of anything else to say.

“I think so,” she said. “Red acts like he's got the hots for you, too. Of course, that's how Red is. Everybody loves him.”

I was trying to figure out exactly what she meant by that when Red and Mark came back by way of the kitchen. Red handed me a new cup. “Your brother's got a heavy duty conversation going on out on the steps.”

“So?” I asked and had to look directly at Red because Mark and Beatrice were staring at me again.

“Thought you'd like to know.” He laughed. “She watches out for big brother.”

“That's the cheerleader for you,” Beatrice said and stepped closer to Red. “You know you're out with the chief, don't you?” She wrapped her hand around the back of Red's neck and pulled him closer.

“The chief, huh?” He looked at me and smiled. “That's real good.”

“Yeah, listen to this.” Beatrice got her other hand around Mark Fuller and pulled him in close to her other side. “All you have to say, Red, is you can do it, you can do it, you can, you can, and she probably will!” Beatrice did not look at me once during all of that. Then, she let go of Red and wrapped both of her arms around Mark Fuller and pulled him towards one of the chairs.

“Let's go in here.” Red took my arm and started pushing our way back towards the kitchen. I looked into those mirrored tiles and I could still see Beatrice, her head thrown back, laughing, and she was chanting, “Team's gettin' ready, gettin' red hot. You get it?” she yelled and leaned into Mark, “Red hot, she's gettin' Red hot!”

Red must have heard her, too. “She's a little messed up,” he said when we finally got to the kitchen. The only person in the kitchen was Dwayne and he was stretched out on the floor right beside the trash can. Red hopped up on the counter.

“I've never seen her that way,” I said and tried not to look at Dwayne.

“She's almost always that way.” He pulled me over to where I was standing directly in front of him and he wrapped his legs around the back of my knees.

“I can't believe it. She's so different.” I stared out the window where I could see a pier stretching out into the lake like a long black line.

“That's what drugs will do,” he said and smoothed my
hair. “That's what I like about you. You're so different from the other girls.” He had his hands cupped around my face. “You don't even drink, do you?”

“Well, I am tonight.” Seeing Beatrice had made that little light-headed feeling go away and I wished that I could get it back.

“Yeah, but you're different.” He took my cup and stretched across the counter to get two of the bottles beside the sink. “Sort of old fashioned in a nice way.” The countertop was white with little gold specks and none of the specks formed any kind of pattern. They were just there and I was just there and didn't know what to do. It seemed like a good time to tell Red about all of the things I liked to think about, the old songs, a ballerina skirt, but then, that didn't even seem important. He apologized for leaving me alone with Beatrice; he told me the truth, that Mark had wanted him to go out and smoke a joint, to talk about how Mark was getting sick of Beatrice. And, he told me that he didn't, that he never would have done anything to make me feel uncomfortable, that he never would have done anything to change what we had going. His legs were wrapped around me again and his hands were on my shoulders, his face was getting closer and closer; the words “what we had going” going round and round in my mind. I kept sipping that drink, never moving the cup away from my mouth until he did it for me.

The next thing that I knew, it was after twelve and we were sitting out on the pier where it was cool and we kept kissing and I kept holding my crinkled up Dixie cup. I felt so safe and lazy that I probably would have
stayed there forever except that Bobby would be worried about me and it was Red, not me, who said that it was time for him to walk me down to the Pittmans'. The lake looked so different at night, so dark; it looked larger. “It seems so much bigger at night,” I whispered.

“What?”

“Bigger, the lake looks so much bigger.” I looked at him and squeezed his hand, wanting him to stop and just sit down on the shore with me.

“Time for you to get some sleep,” he said. “I've already kept you out too late.”

“No, no you haven't, but it does look bigger, you know?” I wanted to stop talking but I couldn't; I wanted to find a way to ask when I would see him again, if I would ever see him again, but we were there.

“Hey, Bobby,” Red said real loud and I looked up to see Bobby and Nancy sitting in the Pittmans' swing. “Hope I didn't keep your little sis up too late.” He didn't even kiss me good night, just held my hand and winked at me. I realized that he wanted Bobby's approval as much as I did; he didn't want me to get in trouble for being late. He understood all of that; he understood my rules. He had even said that that's what made me so different.

Bobby didn't have much to say so I went on inside and watched Red from the window. I watched until he got smaller and smaller and when he was midget size, he turned and went back to where the party had been.

“Looks like you had a good time.” Buffy was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer and flipping through a
Glamour
magazine with her long glazed nails pausing gracefully over the pages. “You better not take Red too seriously.”

“We're just friends.” I felt funny even talking to Buffy. She was Bobby's age; she was older and she made me feel very young, very unattractive. Her long black hair was perfect and mine, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the window, was flat on top and frizzy on the sides from when I had gotten so hot in that trailer. The little bit of mascara that I had so carefully applied was under my eyes.

“Sure,” she said, “that's what I thought when I first fell for Red.” She tossed back her hair and sipped her beer. “You better watch out that's all I've got to say.” She was doing it again and what could I say? “You're jealous. It's your fault you let it get hot and heavy. You don't know what you're talking about.” But, I said nothing because that was the best way, the easiest way. As it turned out, I didn't have time to say anything anyway because Bobby and Nancy came into the room.