The Cowbear's Mail Order Bride (Curvy Bear Ranch 6) (4 page)

“I want to ask you something, but I don’t want to offend you,” he said in a tentative voice.

“Shoot.” Her heart kicked up a few notches.

“Why on earth did you have to go online to find a husband?” he asked. “You seem like a fun girl and you’re not bad to look at.”

“Thanks?” she said in an incredulous tone.

“That came out wrong,” he said. “You’re just really pretty, so I can’t understand why you’re still single.”

“Thank you, for the pretty part,” she said. “Relationships can get… complicated. I guess I’m just looking for the perfect man.”

“And you thought I was the one?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, Madison.” He sighed. “I can’t apologize enough for her. She’s a good person. She just doesn’t know when to stop sometimes.”

“I probably didn’t seem like a big deal to her, but things slowly slipped out of control. I get it.”

“Sometimes I wish I were an only child,” he said.

“Being an only child is a lonely life. Be happy you’re surrounded by family,” she said.

“I thought you said you had a brother.”

Shit!
She needed to be vague with her answers so she wouldn’t get caught up in the tangle of lies. The less she told him the better.

“I do, but he’s a lot older than me, so I didn’t spend much time with him growing up. That’s why I felt like an only child,” she said.

Hopefully he’d believe her lame answer. She held her breath for the moment that it took him to respond.

“That makes sense,” he said.

“Families can be a challenge,” she said.

That
was the understatement of the year.

“I know what you mean. All of my brothers have found mates in the last few months,” he said. “Since I’m the only single one left, I think they’ve decided I need to find a wife too. They don’t get that I’m happy alone. Relationships tend to cause more grief than they’re worth, at least in my experience. If it were up to me, I’d be single for the rest of my life.”

***

Drew rode on, relishing the silence. Some women had to fill the emptiness with incessant chatter, but Sharon was content to simply enjoy the peacefulness. He appreciated having her with him more than he’d anticipated. She was a hell of a good rider. Hannah wasn’t usually skittish, but today she’d stumbled a few times. Sharon hadn’t flinched. She’d simply adjusted and had carried on, unfazed.

“Where did you learn to ride?” he asked.

“My family owned a few horses when I was younger.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Florida,” she said. “I’ve lived there my whole life.”

“I thought you said you drove here from Virginia?”

“Oh, yeah. I drove through Virginia to get here,” she said.

“From Florida?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“That seems like an odd route,” he said.

“I drove up the east coast then cut across,” she said.

“Hmm. Okay.”

“Anyway, in Miami, where I grew up, we had plenty of space for horses.”

“I usually associate beaches with that part of the state,” he said.

“There are beaches, but there are areas for horses too.”

“In Miami?” he asked.

“Yep.”

“I always thought of it as being very urban.”

“What about your family?” she asked. “Have they always lived in Montana?”

“My dad grew up near here, but my mom was from California.”

“California?” Her head whipped to the side and her eyes narrowed. “Where in California?”

“San Francisco. She moved up here near the end of the 1960s.”

He cocked his head to one side, puzzled by her razor-sharp interest. She shifted in her seat and averted her gaze. Weird. Maybe they were moving into more personal territory too fast. He didn’t have a lot of experience talking to women. He preferred to talk to horses. He understood animals, but people? Not so much.

“Do your parents still live around here?” she asked.

“No.” His heart clenched. “We lost my mom a few years ago and my dad a few years before that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. When they moved to the ranch, it was nothing but rock-infested land. They worked hard to clear the hills and turn the pastures into a good place to raise horses.”

“And kids,” she said.

“And kids,” he agreed. “My brothers and I were very lucky to have such good parents. How about you?”

“My parents are great. They live in, um, Chicago.”

“Why’d they decide to move there from Miami?” he asked. “It’s freezing. Don’t get me wrong, I love the snow. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like to move to a state like Florida or California.”

“It’s overrated,” she said.

“So you decided to drive clear across the country to marry a cowboy?” he asked.

It seemed rather odd, but maybe she needed a change of pace. Abby, Carol, and Madison had come from big city life to the ranch and they all seemed better for it.

“I needed a new perspective,” she said.

When she didn’t elaborate, he let it slide. He wasn’t one to pry into anyone’s business. His bear, on the other hand, wanted to know everything about her. How long had it been since her last relationship? Did she taste as good as she smelled? Did she want to hop into bed with him?

He chuckled.
Oh, bear. If only you could stop talking for two damn minutes, I’d be forever grateful.

His bear huffed in response.

“So what did you do in Florida?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“For work?”

“A little of this, a little of that. I never stayed anywhere for very long,” she said.

“What did your friends think about your plan to move?” he asked.

“I didn’t ask them.”

“I thought women talked about huge life changes with each other,” he said.

“I don’t really have any friends.”

“So you did odd jobs and didn’t have any friends. You weren’t in witness protection or something, were you?” he joked.

Her jaw dropped and a hint of fear crept into the corners of her eyes. Jesus, had he accidentally hit on something? The more he thought about it, the more her story wasn’t making sense. Nothing major stood out, but parts of their conversation didn’t add up. Like why would she take such a circuitous route to get to the ranch? Why didn’t she have any friends to talk to?

“Maybe we should head back,” she said. “We’ve been gone for a while.”

“It’s only been about thirty minutes,” he said, noting that she hadn’t answered his question. Could she be a criminal of some kind?

His eyebrows knitted together for a moment before he relaxed. He’d been watching too many cop shows recently. Everyone on TV seemed to have some dark, ulterior motive. Maybe he needed to switch over to one of those idiotic reality series that Carol loved to watch, so he could stop being so suspicious of every little inconsistency.

“We should head back,” Sharon said firmly.

“I didn’t mean to pry,” he said. “I just figured since you’re going to be around for a few days, we could get to know each other.”

“Why?” she asked. “I’m leaving at the end of the week. You made it pretty clear that you’re not interested in a relationship.”

This whole conversation was going to hell. He shouldn’t have even tried. Obviously she didn’t want to give out a bunch of information about herself, but he’d forged ahead with questions anyway. What a mistake.

As he directed Killer back toward the house, he couldn’t stop thinking about her strange answers. At least she’d only be on the ranch for a week. If she was running or hiding from something, then she wouldn’t be around long enough to cause problems for his family.

Chapter 4

Cindy paced the length of the bedroom. Dinner had been a total disaster. She couldn’t keep her stories straight and Drew drilled her until she thought she’d break. A part of her wanted to confess every torrid secret, including her real name, but she couldn’t. Shame kept her lips sealed.

Maybe staying here wasn’t the right thing to do. She could wait until everyone was asleep and then sneak out. She’d only been here a day, not long enough to make an impression, so moving on made the most sense.

She padded to the door and opened it a crack. Laughter carried up from downstairs. When she’d left, Drew, Carol, Hank, Cody, and Abby were sitting in the living room sipping hot cocoa by the fire. She envied them more than she wanted to admit. They were the picture-perfect family, something she’d tried to have back in LA. But she’d failed miserably.

Amidst the voices, she recognized Drew’s. It had a rough quality that hinted at his bristly personality. She should have been turned off by his near interrogation, but instead she’d admired his ability to see right through the lies. In another life, she would have loved to meet someone like him. A man who didn’t hide his feelings. He said what he meant and he didn’t mince words.

She closed the door and leaned against it. A flash of anger sparked in her belly. Dammit, why couldn’t this have worked out? How had she ended up in such a mess? The more time she spent away from home, the worse her heart hurt. At some point she’d have to go back. But she wasn’t ready. Not yet. She wasn’t strong enough to face the consequences of her actions.

After retrieving her suitcase from the closet, she packed all of her belongings. She made the bed and perched on the end of it, waiting until silence blanketed the house.

Two hours later, she opened the door and peeked out. When nothing stirred, she stepped into the hall. As she passed Madison and Mack’s room, she noted the closed door. She’d have to be particularly careful when she was rolling her luggage past. If she woke them, they might try to convince her to stay out of some sort of obligation.

She reached the bottom floor without incident. But when she turned to look into the living room, three faces turned. Logan, Kate, and Drew smiled up at her.

“Hey there, couldn’t sleep?” Kate asked.

“No.”

“Come and sit with us,” Logan said. “I can fire up some more hot chocolate.”

Cindy glanced at Drew, who watched her with a neutral expression. She wasn’t very good at reading people, so she couldn’t decide if he wanted her to stay or not.

“I just came down to get some water,” she said.

“I’ll get it for you,” Logan said.

He unfolded his long legs and stood up from the sofa. As he disappeared into the kitchen, Cindy clasped her hands together to keep from fidgeting.

“Drew was telling us you drove in from Miami,” Kate said.

“Via Virginia,” Drew added.

“Yes. I’d never been up the East Coast before, so I thought that would be my last opportunity.” At least that was partially true.

“I think what you did was romantic,” Kate said. “Leaving your life behind to meet someone you only knew online.”

“I think it’s crazy,” Drew said.

“Drew!” Kate narrowed her eyes. “Could you stop being a jerk for two seconds? No wonder you’re alone.”

“Come on guys, not in front of our guest,” Logan said as he walked back into the room. He carried two steaming mugs. After handing her one, he gave the other to his wife. “I don’t know what’s gotten into everyone. I think we all have cabin fever this year or something.”

“Which is why we’re over here,” Kate said. “We really need to repair the fireplace in my house.”

“We should tear the whole house down and start over,” Logan said.

“It would keep everyone occupied,” Drew said. “Maybe then I could get some peace around here.”

“Ignore Mr. Grumpy Pants,” Kate said. “He just needs to get laid.”

Cindy was mid-sip and choked on the cocoa. As she sputtered and wiped the liquid off her face, Drew jumped to his feet. He grabbed a tissue and hurried to help her.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Sometimes I think I’m surrounded by teenagers.”

“I think Kate would agree,” Logan said as he grinned at his wife.

As she giggled and leaned in to kiss him, Cindy looked away. In a way, she felt bad for Drew. They seemed to tease him a lot. An occasional joke at someone’s expense done in jest was okay, but they seemed relentless.

“I think its fine to be single,” Cindy said.

“Says the woman who drove across the country to find a man,” Drew said.

“At least I tried.” She glared at him.

“I never thought I would get married,” Logan said. “I was having fun living a no-strings-attached life. But then Kate came back into my life. Things can change so fast. You never know what fate has in store for you.”

“So true,” Cindy said.

She crossed the room to a chair and sat. Since they didn’t look like they were leaving anytime soon, she may as well get comfortable.

“When I came back to settle my dad’s estate,” Kate said, “I didn’t think I’d stay. But I couldn’t get rid of Logan. He came over every day to help me clean out my father’s things. I don’t think I could have gotten through it without him. It’s nice to have a partner in life. I know things didn’t work out quite like you planned, Sharon. But don’t lose hope. The love of your life might be right around the corner.”

“Aw,” Logan cooed. “I love you, honey.”

“I love you too,” Kate replied.

Cindy glanced at Drew, who was watching them with a wistful expression on his face. As much as he claimed to like being alone, he sure seemed envious of his brothers’ relationships. She couldn’t really blame him though. If she’d been surrounded by happy couples, it would have made things ten times worse. But everyone in LA always seemed so angry and bitter. If they weren’t constantly stepping over other people on their way to success, they weren’t happy. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she never wanted to go back to a big city. She didn’t belong there.

“Are you going to return to Florida at the end of the week?” Logan asked.

“I don’t know yet. I left everything behind to come here,” she said.

“You’ll find someone,” Drew said. “You’re marriage material.”

“And you’re not?” she asked.

The edge of his lip tugged up in a pseudo-smile. “I’m too ornery. I don’t know what woman would ever want to put up with me.”

“You’re a teddy bear,” Kate said.

“I am not,” Drew said.

“I don’t know if I’d compare my brother to a cute, cuddly animal. He’s more like a feral polar bear. Used to being icy and grumpy,” Logan said.

“Sorry I’m not all sunshine and rainbows,” Drew said sarcastically.

“We love you anyway,” Kate said before yawning.

“We should get going,” Logan said.

He stood and helped Kate to her feet. They walked toward the door then stopped to put on their coats and hats.

“Have a good night,” Kate said.

“You know I was just messing with you, right?” Logan said to Drew.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I just wish you’d let up for a few days.”

“Sorry, man.” Logan flashed a smile. “I guess we can get carried away.”

“How about you carry
me
away, Big Boy?” Kate said.

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Logan said as he scooped her into his arms. Kate giggled as her husband carried her out into the night.

Cindy cupped the mug in her hands and turned to face the fire.

“It must hurt to be picked on all the time,” she said.

“They weren’t always like this,” Drew said. “It’s a recent development since everyone found a mate.”

“Still, it can’t feel good.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Have you ever dated?” she asked.

“A few times, but nothing serious. I just never found someone I wanted to be around for more than a few weeks. I prefer to be alone,” he said.

“I should go back upstairs,” she said.

As she stood, he looked up. “Wait.”

“What?”

“I…would you stay for a bit?” he asked.

“Okay.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to have someone to talk to,” he said softly.

“I get lonely too,” she said. “It sucks.”

“Were you ever in a long-term relationship?” he asked.

She hesitated. The whole truth rested on the tip of her tongue, but her throat constricted. How much did she want to reveal? She hadn’t talked to anyone about her life since she’d left LA. She hadn’t even told anyone her real name. But the constant lying was taking a toll on her soul.

“I was in a relationship, once.”

“What happened?” he asked gently.

“Things got… bad.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand,” he said.

She bit the edge of her lip. It wouldn’t hurt to tell him some of it. As long as she didn’t tell him the whole story, she’d be fine.

“When I was in college, I met a man. He was cultured and charming and he swept me off my feet. I know that sounds terribly cliché, but that’s the only way I can think of describing it. I thought I’d found the man of my dreams,” she said.

He nodded but didn’t comment.

“The first few years were good,” she said. “We’d go out on the town. We’d take trips together. Everything seemed so perfect. But then he started to change. He became more controlling. He started demanding to know where I was every minute of the day. He’d check my phone to make sure I wasn’t getting calls from people he didn’t know.”

“Possessive,” Drew said.

“To the extreme.”

“How long did that go on for?” he asked.

“A few years.”

“Years?”

“Yeah.” She hung her head as a fresh wave of shame washed over her. “Looking back, I can’t believe how stupid I was.”

“He sounds like a typical abuser.”

“Which I should have recognized, but I didn’t. I feel like an idiot,” she admitted.

“Hey,” Drew stood and walked over to her. He gave her shoulder a light squeeze. “You’re not an idiot. A lot of women fall into the same trap. I’ve seen men like your ex in action. They start out with little criticisms. Maybe your hair’s not right, or your dress is too short. And the next thing you know, everything’s your fault.”

“You sound like you know my ex,” she said.

“I know the type. It’s cold over here. Come sit with me by the fire,” he said. “Let me refill your cup too.”

“Okay.” She handed him the mug.

As he strolled toward the kitchen, she found a spot on the rug in front of the fire. While she waited for him to return, she stared into the flames. If only she could burn the past away and start over. The soothing crackle of the fire was just what she needed. By the time he returned, she’d reconsidered her desire to flee. She needed time to think and Drew’s family was giving it to her, so she may as well take it.

“Thank you,” she said as she took the mug.

He sat next to her, close enough that she could catch a whiff of his aftershave. Piney and rustic, just like him. She sighed. Fate couldn’t have come up with a better form of torture. One minute she was on her way to meet the perfect man, and the next she was sitting beside a complete stranger who seemed revolted by marriage.

“Would you ever consider getting married?” she asked. “You know, if you found the right person?”

“If I found someone I could stand being around for more than a week, I might consider it,” he said.

“What turns you off?” she asked.

“Someone who needs to talk all the time. I like silence. I guess it’s just part of who I am because I spend so much time outdoors. I prefer listening to the sound of the wind than to the details of the latest television show.”

“I get that. In the city, the only way to have a quiet moment is to put on a pair of headphones and listen to one of those nature tracks.”

“A nature what?” he asked.

“You know, recordings of thunderstorms or babbling brooks. Sometimes I put ocean waves on repeat for hours, especially when I try to sleep at night. It drowns out the police sirens.”

“When I want to hear nature, I go outside,” he said.

“It must be nice.”

“I don’t think I could live anywhere else. All of the elements are here. If I want to be surrounded by water, I go to the lake. If I want the feeling of wind through my hair, I step outside. I love to walk barefoot during the warmer months when the ground isn’t freezing so I can feel the earth.”

“And fire?” she asked, naming the fourth element.

“It’s all around us. In the lightning of a summer thunderstorm, in the geysers and hot springs in Yellowstone. Hell, I even have it in the fireplace when I want it.”

“I miss having that connection to nature,” she said. “When I was a kid, we’d go to the beach a lot. The salty air had a cleansing effect on me. It had a way of washing away all of my problems.”