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Authors: Loren Teague

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BOOK: The Italian Affair
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‘No electricity?’ she asked.

‘Only a generator and a big bunch of batteries and gas cooker.’

A large open fireplace had a blackened kettle sitting in the cold, empty grate. For an instant, she could imagine a roaring fire and toasting marshmallows, listening to Billie Holiday, while the wind pounded at the windows with its fists.

The room itself was simply furnished but that was part of its charm, she decided. A chunky old-fashioned-looking sofa sat against one side of the wall. Several bottles of red wine were stacked nearby in a wine rack while on a table in one corner stood a CD player. At the other end of the room, a bookcase full of paperbacks reached to the ceiling. If she owned a place like this, she’d live here all the time, she decided.

‘Want to take a look at your bedroom?’ he asked.

‘Love to.’

The bedroom was spacious. A large brass bed, made up in white linen, faced the French windows. Apart from a large rimu dresser and a basket-weave chair the room was simply furnished. A collection of shells were displayed on the dresser. She picked one up admiring the green and blue pattern of the paua.

‘There are plenty more shells on the beach,’ he said, moving closer. He lifted a hand to her cheek and ran his thumb across it lightly. It was such a natural gesture that it made her smile. He stepped away to look out the window. ‘Wind is getting up. We’ll light the fire tonight. It heats the hot water.’ With quick strides, he lifted up the log basket. ‘I’ll chop the wood. Make yourself at home.’

‘Thanks,’ she murmured. She started to unpack the box of groceries, placing what they had bought on the kitchen bench. ‘Where do you want these?’

He pointed. ‘Over there. In the cupboard.’ She quickly thought
about what she could make for dinner. A quick pasta dish with the fresh vegetables, tomatoes, and basil, would work well, so she left them on the bench ready for use. It didn’t take long to chop the ingredients. The pungent aroma of basil filled her nostrils. One thing she’d always been good at was cooking and using herbs. When she was a little girl, her mother had helped her develop her own garden plot near the kitchen. Every day she had watered it faithfully. And when her first harvest of herbs was ready, she had been so proud. She gave a small sigh. It was memories like those which kept her parents alive for her.

It took a while to get the hang of the gas cooker as the flame was so temperamental but she persevered. She stirred the rich tomato sauce, humming softly.

Rick was still outside chopping wood. She couldn’t see him but she could hear the thud of the axe as it hit the log. He soon appeared through the doorway with the log basket. ‘It’s a bit dark in here. I’ll light the candles,’ he said, his muscles straining with the weight of the basket as he deposited it close to the fire.

Although it was late summer, the sea breeze cooled the evening, so Gina was glad of the heat from the fire. Within minutes it roared. She leaned forward to open the kitchen window to let out the steam from cooking. Brisk night air rushed in.

Rick uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured two glasses. He handed her one. ‘
Salute
.’


Salute
,’ she repeated, and took a sip. ‘Dinner’s nearly ready. Hope you’re hungry.’

‘You bet.’

He took a seat at the table and Gina could feel him watching her as she worked at the kitchen bench.

‘Have you thought any more about travelling to Italy?’ he asked.

Gina threw over her shoulder. ‘Hmm … often.’ Concentrating on the task in hand, she lifted the dish of pasta out of the oven and set it down in the middle of the table, ready to serve. ‘I guess there’s nothing to stop me now. But it would only be for a holiday, not to
live there. My home’s here. It’s strange really, sometimes I think of myself more Kiwi than Italian.’

‘You do?’ He arched a brow. ‘Why?’

‘Because I grew up here. That’s not to say I’m not proud of my Italian heritage, I am. My grandmother tried to instill in me some of the old ways. At first, I didn’t want to know, but as I got older I realized it shows us who we are. Where we came from. We can never forget our roots.’

‘What about on a personal basis? You didn’t take any notice of your nonna when she advised you about men,’ he mused.

Gina laughed as she dished up the meal. At one time she would have reacted defensively to that statement. But not now. Somehow things had changed within her. The change had come so subtly she hadn’t even been aware of it. She replied in the same vein. ‘You’re treading on sensitive ground.’

‘Just an observation,’ he said lightly. ‘No offence meant.’

‘None taken.’ She smiled.

As they ate, she decided to ask Rick more about his past. ‘What about you? Why did you leave the police force? I thought cops look on it as a career for life.’

‘It usually is.’ His face turned serious. ‘It was a combination of things. The deciding factor was Karen, my working partner. She was shot when we were out on night patrol. We were the first two on the scene of a robbery. When we entered the building the crims were still there. They opened fire. She was killed instantly.’ He stared into space for a second. ‘I didn’t see one of them hiding behind the door. We fought. He stabbed me. I was in hospital for a month. After that, I decided to leave. I’d put in a few good years to the force, so I didn’t feel too guilty about going.’

‘Did Karen have a husband?’ she asked, curiously.

‘No, she didn’t.’ He hesitated, before adding, ‘She wasn’t married. We were dating at the time.’

Gina paused, surprised at his admission. Up to now, he hadn’t opened up much about his personal life. ‘I’m sorry.’ She meant it.

He shrugged. ‘It happens. I liked her a lot. But I wasn’t in love with her,’ he admitted, ‘It never got to that stage and I guess I wasn’t ready to settle down then. After she died, I became disillusioned with the force. Management have no idea what goes on in the front line. We needed new radios, new cars.’ He sighed. ‘And in my estimation, the focus on crime had been lost somewhere along the way. Some good men left around the time I did.’ Rick paused in between mouthfuls. ‘So when I left the police force I had to find another job. It wasn’t easy. I figured the best thing I could do was to start a security business in my home town.’

‘You don’t mind you’ve given up a career in the police force?’

‘Sometimes I do. But that’s the way things have worked out.’ He gave her a long, level look. ‘And you?’

She wasn’t sure how much to give away, although she had confided in him more about her past and her marriage than she had anyone else.

‘Long ago, I made a big mistake. I paid for it as you know,’ she explained. ‘I won’t pretend it’s not altered my attitude to life. Knowing that it was Russo who killed Maria and that he will face charges does bring some justice to the whole thing.’ She shook her head, puzzled. ‘I’d like to have known why he did it … that still bothers me. We can only assume it was revenge.’ She took another sip of her wine trying to stem the tightness in her throat which was only a moment away whenever she thought of Maria. She didn’t want to spoil the mood of the evening. Rick had made an effort so she ought to do the same.

Rick had obviously sensed the change in her because he said lightly, ‘Mmm … this tastes really good,’ he remarked. ‘Who taught you to cook?’

She laughed. ‘My grandmother. That’s one great thing about being Italian. We learn to appreciate food from an early age.’

‘And we appreciate family, don’t forget.’ His next question completely threw her. ‘Would you get married again?’

She fiddled with her wine glass, playing for time. ‘I’m not sure. If
you’d asked me that a few months ago, I would have said a definite no. After my marriage failed, I never wanted to commit myself to anyone again.’

‘That doesn’t answer my question.’

She held his gaze. ‘You’re right. It doesn’t.’

Gina helped herself to another portion of pasta while she tried to think of an appropriate answer. Of course, she knew why she had changed her mind. But she couldn’t tell him. Maria’s death had made her realize that life was for living. And even if you made mistakes, there came a time when you got over them, and hopefully learned a valuable lesson. It was all about moving on. And now, here was Rick Caruso sitting right in front of her, having come into her life unexpectedly, penetrating her barriers. If she thought about it too deeply it really shook her, and yet, she couldn’t help being increasingly drawn to him. She could imagine his type of wife. Someone who stayed at home with the kids and cooked good hearty meals. For a moment, she almost laughed out loud. That was what she had always wanted to do, wasn’t it? But her marriage hadn’t worked out like that. She didn’t even know if she would ever get a second chance. And Rick had made it perfectly clear he didn’t want to get involved. And so had she. So where would that leave her if she didn’t put a stop to what was happening between them?

‘I don’t know if I’d get married again,’ she finally said. ‘It all depends.’

‘On what?’

‘Who asks me,’ she teased. She picked up the tea towel and threw it at him. ‘Since I cooked, you can dry.’ She collected the plates and stacked them on the bench.

A ghost of a smile hovered on his lips. ‘Looks like I can’t talk myself out of this one.’ The phone rang. ‘Damn,’ he muttered. His eyes met hers. ‘I could ignore it.’

She shook her head. ‘Might be important.’

It would be an opportunity to be on her own for a few minutes to compose her thoughts and extricate herself from having to
answer more questions. She had never been afraid to answer anything or anyone in all of her life. It surprised her how she had reacted when he started touching on topics like marriage which were close to her heart. Then again, since Rick Caruso had come on the scene, she could expect anything.

He turned to face her, his expression serious. ‘That was Brougham. Danni Russo has been refused bail.’

She breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Thank God.’

She put the kettle on and made coffee while Rick selected some music. He connected a car battery to the CD player. ‘Generator charges the batteries,’ he explained. ‘That way we don’t have to listen to the generator while we try to enjoy the music.’ They both sat around the fire listening to Billie Holiday just like she had imagined they would. ‘Tomorrow I’ve got a surprise for you,’ he told her.

‘Oh. What?’

‘Surfing.’

She raised her brows. ‘Surfing? Isn’t that a bit ambitious? After all, I’m a lie on the beach with a book in my hand kind of girl. The nearest I get to anything strenuous is putting the sun tan lotion on.’

His mouth twitched. ‘We can soon change that.’

‘You can?’

‘Yeah….’

‘Are you sure you know what you’re letting yourself in for?’

‘Nope. But I have a lot of patience.’

That’s what she liked about him, she thought. His patience. His understanding. There were starting to be too many good qualities she was noticing, she thought. The way he looked at her sometimes for a start. Could she dare think that he might be feeling the same about her? She pulled back abruptly, rising to her feet. ‘I’m tired. I think I’ll head to bed.’

‘So soon?’ He stood up. ‘Have I said something wrong?’

My God, he was even starting to know how she thought. ‘No … no … not at all. It’s just that….’ Her voice trailed off as she failed
to find an excuse.

‘Just what?’ he prompted, his forehead creasing in puzzlement.

‘I’m still feeling a little raw,’ she said lamely.

He smiled. ‘Sure. I can understand that. I’ll be sleeping on the sofa, so just yell if there’s anything you need. ‘Take a candle with you.’ Rick took one in an old-fashioned holder and lit it from the fire before handing it to Gina.

By the time she reached the bathroom she heaved a big sigh of relief. Now that she was alone, she could finally deal with the turbulence of her emotions. Had it been a good idea to come here, she wondered? Being with him like this in such an intimate setting wasn’t something she had envisaged. Or had she been fooling herself? Was it what she had wanted all along?

She switched on the shower, letting the hot water spray across her skin. It refreshed her. When her head finally hit the pillow, Gina found she was exhausted. She was falling silently through the darkness. But it wasn’t a restful sleep. Her breathing quickened, her hand clutched the sheet. She tried to claw at the large forms which danced around her but they were elusive, slippery. A face loomed into hers. It was Maria’s. She was trying to tell Gina something. Her lips were moving but no sound came out. Gina couldn’t stand it any more … she let out a scream.

When Gina woke to candlelight, Rick was sitting beside her, his hands curved around her shoulders. Shadows danced on the walls behind him.

‘It’s OK,’ he said softly. ‘You’re safe. It was only a bad dream.’

She trembled as she pulled herself up. The duvet had slipped on to the floor. Her sheet was tangled in her legs and all that covered her was her silk nightdress. One thin green strap had fallen onto her arm. She hitched it up quickly.

When she met his blue eyes, they were full of compassion. She wanted to tell him how frightened she had been. How lonely. But somehow the words wouldn’t come. Eventually she managed to say, ‘I had a nightmare. It was so real….’ Her voice faltered, still shaking.

‘It’s over now,’ he soothed, his hands seeking hers and pressing her fingers reassuringly. ‘It’s just the trauma you’ve been through. Sometimes the mind can play tricks like that.’

He was sitting close to her and she studied the strong planes of his face. His black hair was loose around his shoulders. It made him seem more physical in the dim light of the room. She saw his bare chest, tanned to a bronze shade, lift as he breathed. Conscious of his close proximity, she tried to concentrate on the carved bone cross that he wore on a leather thong around his neck. Seconds passed. Her gaze dropped further where she noted a trail of dark hair
plunging from his belly button to the top of his jeans. He obviously hadn’t had time to fasten the silver button on the waist band because with every breath he took the denim parted revealingly, showing smooth, taut muscles.

‘When I heard you scream like that, I thought someone was in here.’

Her gaze shot upwards. ‘I haven’t had a nightmare like that since I was a kid,’ she admitted. She gave a sigh. ‘I’ll be fine now, honestly.’

‘Well, if you’re sure….’ His hand reached out to caress her gently on the cheek. She didn’t know why she did it, but her fingers caught his, pressing the palm of his hand to her face. His warmth was reassuring.

‘Gina,’ he started to say, ‘I think I should go before—’

‘No,’ she cut in strongly, angling her chin upwards. ‘Please, don’t go. I want you to stay.’

The need between them set the air humming. Gina knew that it was too late to take back her words. Nor did she want to. It surprised her especially after what had happened the last time she let him get physically close. But somehow this time it was different. Put it down to the loneliness of the night, she thought fleetingly, but right at this moment in time she needed him to stay.

He stared at her. His hand moved caressingly to her neck and then slid downwards to her shoulder, in a caring gesture. She liked the feel of him, the tender way his fingertips skimmed over her skin.

He spoke softly, disturbing the stillness of the room. ‘I want you real badly. I won’t deny it, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.’

Hurt sliced through her. ‘I thought you were into one-night stands.’

His mouth tightened. ‘One-night stands are OK if both partners know the score,’ he shot out, ‘but in our case, I’m not about to take advantage of you because you’ve had a bad dream. You’re upset. And emotional.’

‘Emotional?’ she repeated, stunned. ‘You make me sound like
some sort of needy female.’ No way. He was wrong about that.

His gaze locked onto hers. ‘A one-night stand isn’t what you need right now.’

‘Huh, you haven’t got a clue what I need,’ she retaliated.

Rick groaned. ‘Oh yeah? I’ve lived with you these past few weeks. I know exactly what you want. What you need.’

‘Oh … you do, do you? That’s just typical.’ Tears seared her eyes. ‘You say you know what I need. That I’m emotional. Then you back away.’ Furiously, she wiped the tears away with her hands. She would not give into self pity.

‘Just being sensible,’ he growled.

‘And that’s what you’re good at, isn’t it? Common sense,’ she said, unable to help herself. Hurt demanded hurt. ‘Why can’t you think from your heart for once? Or are you going to tell me you’re a male and too logical for that?’

‘No.’ Then he surprised her. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,’ he said softly. ‘It’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.’

Her heart ached at his apology. She cursed herself at her own desperation in asking him to stay and leaving her wide open to rejection. She felt humiliated.

‘Show me,’ she uttered.

‘Show you what?’

‘How sorry you are.’

She heard him groan, ‘Gina….’ A deep sound emitted from his throat. ‘You don’t mean it.’

‘I do.’ She kept her gaze level and steady. She needed to convince him. She wouldn’t back down. Not this time.

He pulled her roughly to him. Before she knew it, his mouth was on hers. Sensations slammed into her. This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? And oh, he tasted so good.

Her hand slid to his chest, right above his heart. His skin felt hot, clammy. She could feel his heart pounding deep, just like the ocean outside. She knew her own heart danced to the same tempo.

‘You sure you know what you’re letting yourself in for?’ he
whispered. He gave her a smile. The kind of smile that trebled her own heartbeat with no effort at all.

She jolted. ‘No.’

He gave a low laugh. ‘Guess that makes two of us.’ She knew if she had any sense she should stop now. But something pushed her on. Unable to help herself, she reached up to press her lips against his, and when she found his mouth, she drowned. Her mind clawed desperately to make some sense of it all. But couldn’t. Maybe it was better not to think, only feel. And feel she did. Like in a whirlpool, she spun, and spun, her thoughts tangled between need and want.

His kiss increased in urgency and she matched him with reckless abandon. He eased her down onto the rumpled covers. Desire claimed her, fast and furious. Now she wanted him more than she could have believed possible.

He slipped off the straps of her nightdress, and eased the silky material down further to her hips and ankles. He dropped her nightdress on the floor where it pooled beside the bed. Shivers of delight raced through her as her nipples brushed against his chest.

His mouth worked down her, across the hollows in her neck, to the curves of her breasts, his lips playing teasingly over her skin. The pleasure was pure and explosive.

He spoke in Italian, soft words of love, and she bathed in them. He was tender, she thought. Considerate too in so many ways. Instinctively, she knew he wouldn’t just take what he wanted like some men she’d known.

Her fingertips stroked and caressed, smoothing over the hard muscles of his back and shoulders. It was when she touched the scar on his chest, her fingers gentling over the puckered skin that he stiffened. He pulled back, frowning. ‘It looks ugly.’

‘No, it doesn’t,’ she reassured him. ‘It’s a part of you. A brave part.’ And to show she meant every word, her head went lower, lips and tongue exploring the white line across his chest which had long since healed. She reached out for the waist band of his jeans, tugging them lower, until he finally unzipped them and kicked them off.

‘No going back, Gina,’ he murmured.

She shook her head. In spite of his words, her eyes locked onto his, needing reassurance. She found it and more. Blue eyes, so deep, and so intense, started stripping her senses one by one.

His lips trailed down softly to her shoulders, and her arms, finding curves where he explored. ‘If you’re going to love me, then do it well,’ she said, grateful at his tenderness and his patience.

His voice was quiet. ‘I intend to. Perhaps more if you’ll let me.’

Her heart began to thaw. Warmth slid through her body and she welcomed it. She was surrendering because she chose to she convinced herself, ignoring the desperate pull of need in her belly.

His mouth found one breast where his tongue teased and tantalized, then the other. Her nipples hardened. She grew hot with longing. And felt her hips surge against his. It was all the encouragement he needed. When his body finally slid over hers, she was more than ready. As he slipped inside her, she gasped.

Her world tilted. She clung harder, her arms circling his neck. The air around her became heavy while shadows on the wall danced wildly, sometimes blending into one. She ached for release. And for him a thousand times over.

She was near the edge. Her senses went into overdrive somewhere along with his.

When they crash landed, no words were said, or even needed. Fingers linked together, limbs tangled, their hearts were as one. And for those few precious moments, Gina revelled in the closeness, the intimacy, knowing the return to reality was only a breath away. And eventually one of them would have to take it.

‘Did that really happen?’ she asked, lying back against the pillow, still reeling.

‘You’d better believe it, babe.’

‘You’re a surprise, Caruso,’ she murmured, laughing. ‘I guess there’s more to you than you’ve let on.’

His voice deepened. ‘Maybe, you just didn’t look hard enough.’

‘I thought I had, but maybe I wasn’t ready to see.’

‘I’m right in front of you,’ he replied, seriously. ‘Look harder.

She did. And what she saw was the strength in his face. The determined angle of his jaw, and his well-defined mouth which had pleasured her. She saw the lethal calmness in his eyes. So calm, they bore straight into her as if he guessed all her secrets, all her longings, perhaps even her wildest dreams.

‘Well?’ he prompted.

‘Well what?’ she teased, basking in the afterglow.

‘Do I pass?’

A smile tugged at her lips. ‘Now, that would be telling. A woman has to keep some things to herself.’ Her fingers brushed his unshaven jaw, saying softly, ‘I feel like I’ve been to heaven and back.’ It was true, she thought. She did.

‘That’s what every man likes to hear. Keep going.’

She wagged a finger at him. ‘But …’

He winced. ‘Damn. I knew it. There’s always a
but
,’ he mused.

She gave a pretend scowl. ‘Sometimes you make me really mad.’

He chuckled. ‘Yeah, that sounds about right in a healthy relationship.’

Stunned, she stared at him. ‘Relationship? What are you saying?’

‘Isn’t that what we’ve just shared?’ His eyes narrowed slightly. ‘Or are you calling it something else?’

He was sounding her out.
Warning. He was getting too close. I want that yet I’m scared.

Something slammed shut within her. ‘That’s kind of hard to answer right now.’

To her surprise, he put his fingers against her lips. ‘Then don’t.’

She shook her head, knowing it would be only fair to answer his question. And she needed to do it for herself, at least. Only how was she going to say it?

He lifted himself onto his elbow and looked down at her in puzzlement. ‘OK. What’s on your mind? I want the truth. Nothing less.’

She’d never been good at lying. But the lies tripped off her tongue
like honey off a spoon. ‘No promises have been made … no strings. I don’t want marriage, if that’s what you are thinking?’ And because she didn’t want him to know that it might have been nice to share her life with him, she added, ‘If this is a one-night stand, I won’t hold it against you.’ She tried to get some semblance of order into the way she was feeling but failed miserably.

‘Are you saying that this is as far as you want things to go?’ he asked tightly.

Pain shot through her, keenly. She ignored it. ‘Yes … yes, of course,’ she answered, hating herself for saying it. It was better this way, she told herself. For both of them. No ties. No hurt. No commitment. And he would be free to walk away which she guessed was what he would want the following morning when normality returned.

His voice deepened. ‘I’m not sure I want to let you go.’

Oh God, she couldn’t believe he had said that. She clenched her fist at her side, conscious of her throat tightening. She hoped she wouldn’t cry. No way could she let him see what his lovemaking had done to her. Or even those words he had just uttered. If she was honest and admitted now she had fallen for him, where would that leave her? She wasn’t doing it, she decided. He might throw it back in her face. Hadn’t he told her in the beginning that
he
was the one who didn’t want commitment? And she had been adamant she didn’t want another relationship after her disastrous marriage. So nothing had changed except they’d both made the most incredible love.

And now, the more freedom she gave him, the safer she was. Feigning the need to sleep she lay back against the pillow and closed her eyes.

‘You’re shutting me out,’ he accused.

‘I’m not.’

‘Then look at me.’

She did. But wished she hadn’t. Those deep blue eyes again. Damn. ‘Stop it.’

He frowned. ‘Stop what?’

‘Looking at me like that.’

‘I’m looking at the woman I’ve just made love to. What do you expect me to do?’

She lowered her gaze, feeling uncertain. ‘I don’t know.’

Exhaling, Rick fell back against the pillow. But he wasn’t fooled. Tonight had brought them together. Only why did he have a feeling they were further apart than ever?

Thinking deeply, his gaze lifted across the room to the window. The moon had peeped out from behind dark clouds, throwing silver light onto the waves. Then, almost magically, a large schooner appeared out of nowhere, sailing through the light like a ghostly apparition until finally it disappeared into the deepness of the night.

He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring but he’d be ready, he told himself. As far as he was concerned, there was a turning point in everything and he had a feeling they’d just reached it.

 

When Rick woke the next morning, he knew something was wrong with Gina but what he hadn’t reckoned on was her quick change of mood.

‘OK, what’s wrong?’ he finally asked.

Her hands balled together. ‘We … we didn’t use any protection last night.’

Rick froze, not sure he heard right. ‘You mean you’re not taking the pill?’

She shook her head. A worried frown etched between her forehead. ‘Why should I? It’s not like I sleep around. Last night was….’

‘Something unexpected,’ he finished off for her. ‘It’s just as much my fault. I shouldn’t have just assumed.’ He raised his shoulders dismissively, then moved closer wanting to take her in his arms and chase the worry from her face.

BOOK: The Italian Affair
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