The Last Straw (4 page)

[Image: A boy is in the middle of two men.]

Corey fessed up to the crime in no time flat. But it turns out he only said he did it because the pressure made him crack.

[Image: The men check the boys bag e.t.c.] The caption reads: "SHAKE SHAKE

SUCK SUCK"

63

The next kid on the list was Peter Lynn, and before you knew it Peter was confessing, too.

[Image: The boy is screaming as he is held by the two men.] The caption reads: "SQUEAL!"

I figured it was just a matter of time before those guys cornered ME. So I knew I had to think up something fast.

I've read enough Sherlock Sammy books to know that sometimes it takes a nerd to get you out of a pinch. And I figured if anyone could crack this case, it was Alex Aruda.

So me and a couple of other guys who were worried about getting hassled went over to Alex to see if he could help us out.

64

We told Alex we needed him to solve the mystery of who took Mrs. Craig's dictionary, but he didn't even know what we were TALKING about. I guess Alex had been so wrapped up in his book that he hadn't even noticed what had been going on around him for the past couple of days.

[Image: Four boys are looking at the girl reading from the book.]

Plus, Alex always stays inside to read during recess, so Mrs. Craig's punishment hadn't had a big effect on his life.

Unfortunately, Alex has read his share of Sherlock Sammy books, too, so he said he would help us if we paid him five bucks. Well, that was totally unfair, because Sherlock Sammy only charges a nickel. But me and the other guys agreed it was worth it, and we pooled our money, then forked over the five dollars.

65

We laid out all the facts of the case to Alex, but we didn't know a whole lot. Then we asked Alex if he could get us pointed in the right direction.

I expected Alex to start taking notes and spout some scientific mumbo jumbo, but all he did was close the book he was reading and show the cover to us. And you're not gonna BELIEVE this, but it was Mrs. Craig's dictionary.

[Image: Four boys are confused as they look at the girl reading from the book.]

Alex said he'd been studying the dictionary to get ready for the state spelling bee next month. Well, THAT would've been nice to know BEFORE we gave him our five bucks. Anyway, there was no time to waste complaining, because Mrs. Craig was gonna be back in the room at any second.

66

Corey Lamb grabbed the book from Alex and put it on Mrs. Craig's desk. But she walked in the room right at that moment.

[Image: A teacher walks in as the boy puts the book on her desk.] The caption reads: "AHA!"

Mrs. Craig ended up going back on her whole "no consequences" promise, so Corey Lamb is gonna be spending the next three weeks inside during recess. Looking on the bright side, though, at least he'll have Alex Aruda to keep him company.

[Image: Children playing in the front park.]

67

FEBRUARY

Tuesday

Yesterday in the cafeteria, when I emptied out my lunch bag, I got TWO FRUITS-and no snacks.

[Image: Three boys at a play desk.] The caption reads: "WHAT THE-

BINK BONK"

This was a pretty big problem. Mom always packs cookies or sugar wafers or something in my lunch bag, and it's usually the only thing I eat. So I had no energy for the rest of the day.

[Image: Boys in the ground as one hangs on the bar.] The caption reads: "AT LEAST DO ONE! "I...I CAN'T!"

68

When I got home, I asked Mom what the deal was with the two-fruits thing. She said she always buys enough treats to last us the whole week, so one of us boys must've taken the snacks out of the bin in the laundry room.

I'm sure Mom thinks I'm the one stealing the snacks, but believe me, I already learned my lesson about doing THAT.

Last year I took treats out of the bin, but I totally paid the price for it when I opened my lunch bag at school and pulled out Mom's substitute snack.

[Image: A boy talks to the others at the table.] The caption reads: "WOULD ONE OF YOU GENTLEMEN CARE TO TRADE SOMETHING FOR A PACK OF CROUTONS?"

69

Today at lunch it was the same exact thing: two fruits and no snacks.

Like I said, I really depend on the boost I get from that sugar. I almost fell asleep in Mr. Watson's class in sixth period, but luckily I snapped awake when my head hit the back of my chair.

[Image: A teacher teaching the boys in a class.] The caption reads: "WOOOZAA!"

When I got home, I told Mom it wasn't fair someone else was eating the treats and I was having to suffer. But she said she wasn't going to go grocery shopping until the end of the week, and that I'd just have to "make do" until then.

70

Dad wasn't any help, either. When I complained to him, he just made up a penalty for anyone caught stealing snacks, which was "no drums and no video games for a week." So obviously he thinks it's either me or Rodrick.

Like I said, it's not ME, but I figured Dad might be right about Rodrick. When Rodrick went up to the bathroom after dinner, I walked down to his room to see if I could find any wrappers or crumbs.

But while I was poking around in Rodrick's room, I heard him coming downstairs. I had to hide quick, because for some reason Rodrick gets really bent out of shape when he catches me in his room, like he did yesterday.

[Image: Three boys in the music room.] The caption reads: "HEY, LOOK AT ME!"

71

Right before Rodrick got to the bottom of the stairs, I dove into his desk cabinet and shut the door. Rodrick walked in the room, then flopped on his bed and called his friend Ward.

Rodrick and Ward talked FOREVER, and I was starting to think I might have to spend the night in that desk.

[Image: A boy resting in his room.]

Rodrick and Ward got into a pretty heated debate about whether or not a person could throw up while standing on their head, and I started to feel like I was gonna throw up myself. Luckily, right around then, the phone's battery died. When Rodrick went upstairs to get the spare phone, I made a run for it.

72

This snack thing wouldn't even be an issue if I had money. If I did, I could just buy something from the vending machine at school every day.

At the moment, though, I'm kind of broke. That's because I wasted all my money on some junk I can't even USE.

About a month ago, I saw these ads in the back of one of my comic books, and I sent away for a couple of things that were supposed to TOTALLY change my life.

[Image: Advertisements.]

73

I started receiving my stuff in the mail about two weeks ago.

The Cash Machine turned out to be some stupid magic trick where you have to insert your OWN money in this secret slot for it to work. And that wasn't good, because I was really counting on that thing to get me out of having to find a job when I grow up.

[Image: A boy sitting on his bed.]

The X-Ray Goggles just made you see blurry and cross-eyed, so that was a bust, too.

[Image: Two girls laughing as the boy wearing the glasses trips on the road.]

The caption reads: "OOF!"]

74

The Throw Your Voice thing didn't work at ALL, even though I followed the instructions in the book.

[Image: A boy looks at the other talking to a girl.] The caption reads: ""I'M AN IDIOT."

"I'M AN IDIOT."

WHAT THE HECK?"

But the item I had the highest hopes for was the Personal Hovercraft. I figured getting home after school would be a breeze once my hovercraft finally showed up in the mail.

[Image: Four children look at the boy flying past on his skateboard.] The caption reads: "SO LONG, SUCKERS!

"WHIRRRR

BUS STOP"

75

Well, I got the package today, but there wasn't a hovercraft inside. There was just a blueprint for how to BUILD a hovercraft, and I got stuck on Step One.

[Image: A boy taking out the post from the box.]

The caption reads: "Step One:

Acquire an industrial twin-turbine engine."

I just can't believe the people who write those ads can get away with lying to kids like that. I thought about hiring a lawyer to sue those guys, but lawyers cost money, and like I said before, the Cash Machine was a piece of garbage.

Thursday

Today, when I got home from school, Mom was waiting for me, and she didn't look too happy. It turns out the school sent home mid-quarter report cards, and she got the mail before I could intercept it.

76

Mom showed me the report card, and it wasn't pretty. Then she said we were gonna wait for DAD to get home to see what HE thought.

[Image: A lady talking to the boy.,]

Man, waiting for Dad to get home when you're in trouble is the worst. I used to just hide in the closet, but recently I figured out a better way to handle it. Now, whenever I get in trouble, I ask Gramma to come over for dinner, because Dad's not gonna act mad at me if Gramma's around.

[Image: A lady and a boy talking on the phone.] The caption reads: "WHY, AREN'T YOU A DEAR?"

At dinner, I made sure I sat in the seat right next to Gramma.

77

[Image: A man walks into the dinning room towards his family.]

Luckily, Mom didn't mention my report card during dinner. And when Gramma said she needed to leave to go to Bingo, I tagged right along with her.

[Image: The boy runs out of the dinning room leaving the man at the table alone.] The caption reads: "CATCH YOU GUYS LATER!"

Escaping Dad wasn't the ONLY reason I went to Bingo with Gramma. I also went because I needed a surefire way to make some money.

78

I figured spending a few hours with Gramma and her Bingo friends was a pretty fair price to pay for a week's worth of snacks from the vending machine in the school cafeteria.

Gramma and her friends are EXPERTS at Bingo, and they're real serious about it, too. They have all sorts of gear like lucky blotters and "Bingo Trolls" and stuff like that to help them win.

One of Gramma's friends is so good that she memorizes all her cards, and she doesn't even NEED to use a blotter to mark them off.

[Image: A man.]

For some reason, tonight Gramma and her friends weren't winning like they usually do. But then on the "Cover All" game, I got every square. I yelled out "BINGO" real loud, and the clerk came over to check my card.

79

It turns out I messed up and covered a couple of squares that I shouldn't have. The clerk announced that my win was no good, and everyone else in the room was pretty happy that they could keep playing.

Gramma told me not to call so much attention to myself if I called out "Bingo" again, because the regulars don't like it when a newcomer wins.

I thought Gramma was pulling my leg, but sure enough, the regulars sent one of their ladies over to intimidate me. And I have to admit, she did her job really well.

[Image: A lady , a boy and an old lady.]

Friday

Well, today wasn't exactly my best day ever. For starters, I flunked my Science test. So it probably would've been a good idea to have studied last night instead of spending four hours at Bingo.

80

I fell asleep in sixth period today, and this time I was out COLD-Mr. Watson had to shake me to get me to wake up. As a punishment, I had to sit in the front of the room.

That was just fine with me, because at least up there I could sleep in peace.

[Image: A boy sleeps on his chair behind the teacher in a class room.] The caption reads: "SNORE"