The Light of the World (6 page)

I'm not avoiding him as much as I am avoiding
myself. I grip my books tight the first time I see him. I think
he's watching me but I can't be sure. He is talking to someone and
I see his eyes dart my way. I bow my head and almost break into a
run.

"Rayne wait up." He says goodbye to the guy he's
talking to and then runs to where I am. He looks sexy. He has a
dress shirt on and the sleeves are rolled up. Some of his tattoos
stick out through the bottoms of the sleeves. His forearms are big.
He's very muscled for someone as tall and lean as he is. I blush
remembering the way he looked all messy and in his boxers. I want
to touch his tattoos.

His dark hair and blue eyes suit the pale blue
dress shirt and dark jeans. I bet he smells good.

"Hey." I mutter it and pick up the pace. I just
want to pretend I barely know him. Not made out with him and slept
in his bed.

In my granny panties no less.

"Where have you been?"

I don’t say the Living and Learning Center or
anywhere I think you won't go. Instead I shrug, nonchalantly.
"Around."

He looks confused, "I tried calling you a few
times."

I never gave him my number, "What?"

He nods and looks around, "Yeah I got your
number from Michelle. You never answered."

I swallow hard, "I never saw the calls." I'm
lying. I don’t know why. Just like I don’t know why I never
answered his calls. I never knew it was him, but the calls made the
magic in my tummy hurt. Something about him makes me feel unclean.
I can feel it now.

"Want to have dinner tonight?"

I shake my head. My stomach starts to feel
uneasy. "I can't. I have a night class." I don’t really. I have a
study group. It's our first night.

"Night class. Which one?"

"Study group."

"So not a class?"

I shake my head. He makes me nervous or I make
myself nervous when he's around.

He puts his hands on my arms and pulls me into
him, "Hey are you mad at me? You know I was joking right? You don’t
owe me anything. Especially not what I was joking about. I mean,
unless you want to owe me. In which case you can start repaying me
anytime."

I scowl, "Ewww. No I have to go. I have stuff to
do."

His grin is boyish again, "I'm kidding. You're
so tense. Really you aren’t mad at me right?"

I can't be. His boyish charm and cocky smile
have me beaten down. My arms spark from his touch. It almost burns.
My belly starts to feel funny. I'm starving.

I shake my head, "No."

"It's been two weeks and I've gone to your dorm,
phoned you. Why are you avoiding me?"

I shake my head and notice the tension in his
fingers on my arm, "I'm not. I swear. I've just been busy and
trying to figure out classes and stuff."

His eyes burn when he looks at me. I gulp.

He bends his face and kisses my cheek, "Let me
walk you to your next class."

I feel heat everywhere, "I have to go home. My
classes are over till later. Till study group. I need to get ready
for study group." I am a moron and a bad liar.

He puts an arm around me and leads. I feel my
legs walk with him.

"Let me take you to an early dinner."

He swallows my hand in his and pulls me along
the grass. If I'm not careful I think he will swallow all of me
up.

His car is nice. Nicer than I thought it would
be. I never thought that he would be rich but when I see his car I
know he is. It's a sleek looking white-silver Lexus. I don’t know
anything about cars, but I know this one is expensive. It has three
mufflers in a triangle and says LFA on the back. The interior is
blood red and black. It looks futuristic. I want to touch
everything, but instead I watch him.

He drives sporadically. Fast and then slow.
Jerky and then calm. It's like he's trying to hide his true speedy
self from me. He talks about his frat brothers and how the freshmen
were a great selection this year. I don’t pay attention. I watch
him. Him and the conflict he is trying to hide.

The restaurant is a pasta house.

He grins at me from across the table. I don’t
know what he's grinning at.

"What?"

He shakes his head, "You seem weird. You sure
you're not pissed at me?"

I shrug, "Yeah. I'm just, you know. Embarrassed.
I don’t know what happened those two days. I woke up in your bed
and smelled like barf and sweat and I'm embarrassed."

He leans across the table and his sweet boyish
smile makes my stomach ache, "I swear I never touched you and all
you did was sleep. In and out of sleep. Your friends came and got
water down your throat a couple times and then you would sleep.
Once you ate broth that Michelle made. You don’t remember?"

I shake my head and drag my finger up and down
the condensation on the glass of cold water in front of me.

"You're safe with me. You were then and you are
now. So can we move past it?" I realize his thumb is massaging my
palm. Our hands are stretched across the table. I don’t remember
letting him touch me. The heat and sparks are making me feel funny.
I'm starving and my stomach is hurting again.

I pull my hands away and sit up properly, "I'm
not going to have sex with you."

He laughs, "I know that. I never asked if you
wanted sex. I just want you to give me a chance."

"You asked if I wanted to repay you."

"I never said sex. Maybe I meant helping with my
essays or cleaning my room. Besides you're not really my type."

"Why dinner and phone calls and taking care of
me if you don’t like me? Seems like a lot of effort for a girl you
don’t like?" I'm being a bitch again. I try to offer a smile at his
incredulous look. I know he can't believe I'm so rude. I can't
either. Something about him creates conflict.

He shrugs it off and shakes his head, "You're
under my skin. Every minute of hanging with you so far, is locked
away and tormenting me slowly. It replays constantly. You in my
boxers or dancing or walking down the path."

I blush, "Sounds painful." Sounds like you're
stalking me.

He taps the table, "It's painful." He looks
pained.

The server places our brushetta appetizer down
on the table. She licks her lips when she looks at him. "Hey
Wyatt." She seems nervous.

"Hey." He looks up for a second but then back at
me.

I smirk, "Thanks." But she leaves and ignores
me.

"You know her?" The question is really, 'Did you
sleep with her' but I'm trying to be more polite.

He shrugs again, "She graduated last year. We
hung out a couple times. She's kind of strange. She dated a
friend."

I change the subject, "I love that our economy
is so great that she finished her undergrad and is still a
server."

He laughed, "I think it's a pretty common theme.
You should try some of this. It's good."

He puts a piece on a plate and passes it to
me.

I have never eaten it before. Willow doesn’t do
wheat. Ever. I lift it to my lips and take a bite. I moan before I
can catch myself. "Oh my god." I mutter, trying not to spit food at
him.

He nods and takes his bite. Watching him eat is
better than I imagined it would be. His blue eyes sparkle and his
jaw flexes.

"You like me. I know you do."

I laugh, "You're too cocky for your own
good."

"I'm just cocky enough."

"You want another?"

I wipe my mouth, "No thanks. I don’t do much
wheat. My stomach can't handle it."

"I wouldn’t have brought you to a pasta house if
I knew that."

"No worries. I'll just have a protein shake with
enzymes later."

He laughs, "You're weird."

"You've said that already."

The waitress comes back to take the plates, "So
how's senior year?"

"Good. Can't complain. The house got great
pledges and we have a full house. A lot of the freshmen never went
Greek so we got lucky."

She ignores me completely. I feel uneasy around
her. She glances at me when he looks down at his phone. He picks it
up and stands, "Sorry I have to take this." He leaves the table and
walks to the back of the restaurant. She watches him leave and
whispers, "Run."

I frown, "Sorry?"

She looks at me and her eyes are fiery red,
"Run."

I get up from the table and back away, "What is
wrong with your eyes?"

"It's not me you need to worry about. You were
dead when you were born Rayne and when he knows it you'll be dead
again."

The words are from my dream. I back away from
her, "How did you know that was in my dream? How do you know my
name?" I almost stumble. Fortunately no one else is in the
restaurant.

"When they know what you are, they will come for
you. You were dead when you were born."

I turn and run and don’t stop. Not even when I
reach the campus. I'm in better shape than I thought I would be.
I'm winded and huffing and puffing but I'm still alive. I didn’t
know I could run further than a block.
I push it up the stairs. My hand shakes in the lock when I finally
get the key in the lock. I throw open the door and let out a huge
gasp as I close it.

Mona looks confused, "What are you doing?"

I shake my head and try to catch my breathing. I
huff and puff and few times and then nod, "Running. For sport. You
know, exercise."

She doesn’t look convinced, "Well, Wyatt called
like two minutes ago looking for you. He said you ran out on him.
You left your phone in here again. Willow called too. I told her
you were at class. Why did you run away from Wyatt?"

I shake my head and wave my hand at her, "No." I
struggle to get my breath, "No. I just ran off the meal. Big carby
pasta lunch. Too many carbs."

She crosses her legs and I can see her
underwear. I turn my head away, "Dude, skirt." I almost need to
take a knee I'm breathing so hard.

She looks down and straightens her legs and
skirt, "He said you acted funny. Some waitress he knew scared you
off."

I frown and can't believe it's taking me so long
to get my wind back. Maybe, I'm not in good shape. "You guys had
quite the grand old chat."

She laughs, "Well I told him it was weird that
he took you to a restaurant at three in the afternoon. He's kinda
weird. Who eats lunch this late?"

"I don’t know how to feel about him. I'm
conflicted. I think I like him, but I feel weird about him. You're
right, he's kinda weird."

I shake my head and walk to my bed. I sit and
look at her. I want to tell her about my encounter with the
waitress, but I know she's going to call me a weirdo. She will mock
me and I won't actually feel better or accomplish anything by it.
The red eyes and the dreams are messing with me. I don't believe it
and I was there.

"What are you doing?" I try changing the
subject.

She sighs, "Going through photos from the other
night. We took a ton." She hands me her phone and smiles, "Look at
this one."

I take the phone from her. I can't help but
smile seeing the three of us dressed to the nines and looking
fabulous. Michelle looks the prettiest. She really has blossomed
since we moved away from our old hometown. I took the first year
off after high school to work. She did it to cocoon and become the
beautiful butterfly she is now.

"Michelle is so gorgeous. I wish I had her legs.
She's so thin and yet meaty. You know?"

I nod, "She is stunning. She's lucky. Good
genes."

I hand the phone back, "She probably has an
amazing metabolism."

The flux in her tone gives it away, "She told
you?"

Mona laughs, "She did."

I shake my head, "She keeps telling everyone.
She's crazy. I would lie."

Mona shrugs, "I guessed."

"How? She looks impeccable. I never even
recognized her. Not even a little."

She looks down, "Too perfect. She has no flaws.
No fat in weird spots or a muffin top. She eats like a pig. Typical
guy metabolism. Plus the Adams apple isn’t all shaved away."

"That’s funny. I never noticed."

"What was she like before when she was a
he?"

I shake my head, "Lost. Like he never fit. This
is what he's supposed to be now. He is a she. She makes sense. He
never did."

Mona fidgets with the end of her skirt, "I think
all girls feel that way."

I nod, "Yeah. I think it's pretty much the
standard for our generation. Too many options."

As it was just about to get deep and she was
about to open up to me, a knock interrupted our little chat.

I look at the door and then her. She grimaces
and nods. She mouths, 'It's probably him?'

I nod back.

Fuck.

I stand and walk to the door. I don’t know what
to say. 'A waitress with flames in her eyes knew exactly what I
dreamt about and told me to run away from you.' It sounds crazy to
me and I was there.

I put a hand on the doorknob. He bangs on the
door and shakes it in my hand. "Rayne open up."

His fist against it feels almost violent. Fear
runs up my spine. I look back at her.

Suddenly, he speaks softly into the door, "I
know what she told you. She had a crush on me last year. It was no
biggie. Nothing happened."

I swallow hard and keep my hand pressed against
the door. "It's okay. She isn’t all there Rayne. She's really
crazy. She dated a friend to try to get to me. That's all it
was."

He has no idea what she told me. He thinks I'm
acting like a jealous freak.

Now I'm annoyed. I open the door just as he
pounds on it. I look at him and try to see the asshole. I try not
to notice the chiseled jaw, gorgeous face or boyish smile. I try to
focus on the cocky grin. I try to remember that he makes the magic
in my tummy hurt.

He leans on the door, taking up the entire
frame.

"Where is she?"

Mona looks at him and then me. She raises an
eyebrow and points at me.