The Outback Heart (15 page)

2006

MRS
O’Donnell walked Troy into the hospital. His housemother was all he had at the moment. His parents probably wouldn’t even be at the Geraldton airport yet.

A nurse was waiting for him. He remembered her face from his last visit but couldn’t quite remember her name. ‘Hi, Troy. Come and we’ll get these tests done.’

Troy knew this was coming. Peta had told him about it too. There would be another person waiting for a heart, another person who would have been paged, and only one of them would be the lucky recipient. Troy wondered if the other person was there yet. Were they old or young, male or female? Did they have kids? Would their family be here, too, supporting them?

The nurses were crossmatching blood and tissue samples to see which one of them it would be. There was a fifty-fifty chance Troy would be going back to the boarding house with his own sick heart.

‘Troy?’

He looked up from his chair expecting to see Mrs O’Donnell. She’d stayed while the tests had been done, refusing to leave him alone.

‘Peta.’ Troy stood as she ran towards him, her hair flailing behind her. ‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ he said as they wrapped their arms around each other.

‘Are you the one? Do you know yet?’

‘No, can’t be long though.’

A shuffle of feet caused them to pull apart, but Peta kept Troy’s hand in hers, clinging on tightly.

‘Hi, Helen,’ said Peta, greeting the nurse. ‘Helen was one of my nurses on the transplant team,’ she said as she leaned against Troy.

‘Hi Peta. It’s good to see you. Now I’ll be on Troy’s cardiac transplant team too.’ Helen smiled, waiting for the news to sink in.

Troy felt the world rotate. ‘It’s me?’ he croaked.

‘Yes, it’s you. It’s time to get you ready,’ said Helen. She was already wearing scrubs, her hair pulled back into a bun.

Troy felt Peta hug him again. ‘Good luck. I love you.’

‘But my parents?’ There was no way his parents would be here in time to see him. What if he didn’t make it through?

‘I’ll be here when they arrive, Troy. It’s okay. You have to go now,’ said Peta. ‘I’ll tell them you love them, okay?’ Peta bit her bottom lip. She was trying so hard not to cry. His strong girl.

‘Thank you.’

Mrs O’Donnell stood up and hugged him too. It was as close to hugging his mum goodbye as he could get and he was surprised at how tightly he clung to her.

‘I’ll be here until your parents arrive. Good luck, Troy. We’re all thinking of you.’ Mrs O’Donnell put her hand to her mouth as she tried to remain strong.

‘I love you,’ Peta said again as she hugged him one last time. Her fingers caressed his face as she kissed him. He hoped it wasn’t the last time he got to kiss Peta.

‘Come on, Troy,’ said Helen, holding out her hand. Troy stepped towards her, Helen’s hand went to his shoulder and together they walked down the corridor. Troy glanced back at Peta as she stood beside Mrs O’Donnell. He smiled. She smiled back – and that was the picture he took with him. He knew he’d come out of this. He had to.

When Troy finally awoke he was in a glass room. He thought he was dead – everything was so bright and his LVAD had stopped. He started to panic, wondering if the batteries had gone flat, but then a nurse came in, talking to him, checking on him. She was covered head to toe in a gown and gloves. That’s when he knew he was alive, which meant he must be in ICU – which also meant he had a new heart. He wouldn’t hear the LVAD ever again. He wondered what they did with his old sick heart. Was it burnt? It made him wonder whose heart was inside his chest now. The owner’s family was mourning the loss of someone they loved while Troy lived. He lived with that other person’s heart. Troy tried to move his hand, wanting to feel his chest, to feel the heart beating, but he was too weak.

The nurse noticed his movement, put his chart back and stepped to his side. ‘Yes, it’s working beautifully. After eight hours of surgery, your transplant was successful. The new heart is healthy and started beating just like it should. Your parents got to see you before you were moved into ICU. You’ve been in an induced coma for twenty-four hours.’ She kept talking gently to him, giving him time to process her words. ‘Your mum is just getting prepared for a quick visit. You’re immunosuppressed right now, it’s so your body won’t reject your new heart, and that means limited visitors.’

He nodded. It wasn’t much but the nurse saw it and smiled. ‘I’ll check how she’s going.’

Over the next two days, Troy faded in and out of sleep. He had weird dreams and the odd visit from his immediate family. He was dying to see Peta. His mum said she’d been with them the whole time, waiting while he was in theatre and even now she waited at the hospital. He had a lot to thank Peta for.

On the third day he had a visit from one of the cardiologists who said his new heart was going great. He could finally sit up and talk to Peta.

‘Hey, you,’ she said, looking better than ever. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Better now you’re here,’ he said. He liked the way his words made her melt. ‘You’re a sight for sore eyes.’

Peta sighed. ‘Yeah, well, now I know what my family went through with me, and I can tell you it totally sucks sitting in that bloody waiting room. Time ticked past so slowly and we just sat there, staring at each other, or the walls, or our feet. Bloody horrible. Think I preferred being operated on.’ Peta reached forward and touched his hand. ‘Don’t worry – they’ve been scrubbed to death. I’m germ free.’

He grabbed her fingers. ‘I can’t wait till I can get out of this bed and hold you.’ Troy was thinking of much more and as he watched the colour rise in Peta’s cheeks he knew she was thinking the same. ‘I won’t have batteries to manoeuvre around either.’

‘I know. But it’s weird, hey. Waking up and not having the sound of the LVAD.’

‘Yeah, it’s hard to get used to. I keep panicking about my batteries. Who would have thought I’d miss that sound?’ he said.

‘So now you’ll have all the tests and drugs,’ she said with a weak smile. ‘You’ll feel like a druggie popping fourteen pills a day, and then you’ll have to go to the transplant clinic every week for ages.’

‘How long is ages?’ Troy asked. He was glad he’d soon be able to play cricket with his mates but weekly clinic visits would be a pain.

‘I went every week for about three months and then it goes to monthly. At my first year anniversary it became every six months and next year I’ll only have to go annually. Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘They just do blood tests to check your levels. Especially the immunosuppressant levels to be able to adjust your medication. You’ll have echocardiograms and chest X-rays and ECGs, along with your fitness sessions at the cardio gym.’

‘You should be my nurse,’ he said, teasing.

‘I’ll take that as a compliment. But you’ll still have to take care around people with any infections or colds because of the immunosuppressants.’

‘All this talk is boring. Tell me about something else, something fun.’

‘Well, in two weeks, you’ll be let out, so we can go cruising in my hot little Datsun – and I mean hot because the heater is stuck on.’

Troy laughed, ignoring the ache in his chest. ‘We’ll go to the river, maybe watch some yuppies float around in their big boats. You’ll be back at school before too long, and Freddie will be giving you the shits soon enough.’

‘You got that right. Especially now he’s been drafted. What an idiot. Fancy getting picked up by the Eagles when you’re a massive Dockers fan. Serves him right.’ Troy felt envy wash over him. Sure he had a new heart, a new life, but it would never, could never, be his old life. Football was no longer an option. He had to let his dream go. Freddie had said that he was picked by the Eagles just for Troy, that it was fate. Since Troy could no longer live his dream of playing for the Eagles, Freddie was going to live it for him the best he could. Troy would be his inspiration. That had made Troy so incredibly sad and proud all at once. He wondered how long it would take before the pain of not playing football left him. How long till it faded from his mind?

Peta squeezed his hand, as if sensing where his mind had wandered. He looked up at her. He might not have football but he had Peta. He really was the luckiest guy around.

TROY
couldn’t believe it was the start of July already. It was cold enough. He was rugged up, directing the boys through their drills and envying them. He wouldn’t be cold if he were out running around. They asked him often enough but if he started having a kick it wouldn’t take long before they got carried away and got rough. Then he’d have a hell of a time telling them why he couldn’t play rough. It was better to stand back and stick to the role of coach.

Troy had been looking at the fixtures and was shocked to realise there were only five games left before the finals. Five! And they only had to win the last few and they could make it into the finals. Normally Troy wouldn’t have found that anything special, but after coming here to Hyden and learning about the losses over the years, feeling the lack of support from the town, he’d come to realise how bloody important it would be. Heck, just to be in the finals for these guys would be huge. He watched them now, working together like a team. He was proud. The team had been so excited by their first win, putting in the extra effort. They all witnessed Spud’s physical transformation but his game had improved dramatically too and this made most of the guys take up extra running. The inspiration grew as their spirits soared.

He’d noticed a difference around town as well. Phil and Jenny would chat to him daily about football. Even Kingy had stopped him to talk football in the street. He was greeted like royalty, everyone wanting to quiz him on the next game. When he went for his paper that morning he saw signs up displaying the game times and warnings that the shop would be ‘closed for the game’.

He’d been shocked last week when he’d arrived at the match. Cars and utes were filling up the parking area, people wearing the team colours, people sitting in chairs out the front of the club and around the edge of the oval. He didn’t realise Hyden had so many people. People shouted out ‘Yoda’ everywhere he went and he’d had to admit, it felt like home.

White fog formed in the air as he breathed out. He wanted to change the drill but he’d been preoccupied watching Indi mess around with Patrick. They were supposed to be practising some angle goals but instead they were wrestling over the ball. He chuckled as he watched Pat pick her up, lifting her over his head like a weightlifter, and then dropped her back down into his arms while she threw punches at him. When her feet touched the ground she pushed him away and snatched the ball off the ground, running to the open goal. Pat tackled her before she could get the kick off, their laughter echoing across the field.

His chest hurt. He missed Geraldine. His sister was living in Perth while she went to university to study nursing. That made him even sadder. She’d hated it when he was in hospital – all the nurses got to see him while she’d had to wait. Gerry, who was only twelve at the time, had decided there and then that she would be an ICU nurse so that she would always be allowed in. He didn’t expect her to stick to her word but she’d done just that. He was impressed but also upset that his illness had had such an impact on her. He knew Gerry wanted to see him again, so did his family and friends, but he couldn’t do it. He’d promised himself to spare them the pain.

Troy checked his watch. It was time to finish up – no point starting the other drill. The boys had trained hard tonight.

He blew the whistle that hung around his neck. ‘That’s it for tonight, lads. Go for a cool down.’

As the guys headed off for a jog, Indi picked up all the balls and put them back in the carry bag. Troy admired her long legs and firm backside. She was a funny mix. Lean and attractive – actually, she was breathtaking – but in her unassuming way she didn’t stress over her appearance and was just at home in a pair of jeans as she was in the Eagles footy jumper that she wore to training. The thing that really got him, ticked him off actually, was whose jumper she wore. He’d just about choked the first time he’d seen her wearing Freddie’s number. He envied Freddie enough, he didn’t need to see Indi idolise him as well.

Since his recruitment to the West Coast Eagles Freddie had become a star player and idolised by lots of people. He hadn’t become captain for nothing. But it irked Troy that Indi was one of Freddie’s worshippers. Troy was bloody proud of Freddie. He just hadn’t been able to tell him that. Like with everyone else Troy cared for, he’d walked away from Freddie. It was better this way. He couldn’t hurt him.

Freddie’s life was much better without Troy in it.

‘Hey, you. You’ve got a massive wrinkle, right there,’ said Indi, touching his forehead. ‘What were you just thinking about?’

Troy shook himself from his thoughts. He saw the concern on Indi’s face and it triggered emotions in him that he didn’t like.

‘I was thinking that you obviously don’t own any other footy jumpers,’ he teased.

Indi scoffed. ‘Why would I want any others?’ She squinted at him. ‘Actually, I did have Woosha’s for years but I grew out of that. Pat got me an Eagles jumper with Freddie’s number on it for my twentieth birthday. Best bloody present he’s ever given me.’

Patrick had finished his cool down, and overheard their conversation as he walked towards them. ‘Hey, I had to. You couldn’t stop banging on about Freddie.’ Pat raised his voice. ‘Oh Freddie, he’s so fine. He’s amazing!’ Pat slapped his hands against his face like a teenage girl at a One Direction concert.

‘Piss off, Pat.’ Indi laughed.

Troy felt as if his borrowed heart was being crushed in a giant fist. He didn’t like feeling jealous one bit.

Pat put his arm around Indi and pulled her in close. ‘You wanna come home for dinner, sis? Maddie’s cooking her curry,’ Pat added. His hand squeezed her shoulder.

Indi glanced at Troy, and he knew she was remembering their talk up at the rock.

‘Sure, Pat. I’d love to.’

She shot Troy a look that said,
See, I can relax
.

‘You wanna come too, Yoda? Plenty to go around.’ said Pat.

‘I would but Mrs Bateson has invited me over for her lamb roast. I could smell the damn thing cooking when I left so I’m bloody starving.’

‘Maybe another time, then?’

‘Sure, Pat. Thanks for the offer.’ He was getting dinner invitations left right and centre. Soon he’d forget how to cook.

‘See you on Saturday, Troy,’ said Indi, waving as she walked off with Pat.

‘Saturday, Yoda,’ said Pat, giving him a wink over his sister’s head. He would, in fact, see them all tomorrow night. It was Indi’s birthday and Pat and Jasper had organised a surprise party out at Terra Vista, a restaurant about ten minutes out of town. Troy wasn’t sure how he’d been invited, but Jasper said a few of their mates were going.

Troy watched them walk off, arm in arm, and he wondered what Indi would feel like in his arms. He was sure his imagination couldn’t do it justice.

He began to walk to his ute, shouting his farewells to the rest of the blokes as they left. Killer was leaving with the Kiwis in the white mini-van, which doubled as their shearing bus. As the gravel crunched under his feet, Troy began to think about seeing Indi tomorrow. She’d been on his mind a lot lately. She reminded him who he used to be and it terrified him. He couldn’t afford to be that guy again.

On the night of Indi’s birthday, Tegan and Jaffa picked Troy up just after six. He climbed into the back of Tegan’s little blue Mazda. Jaffa was driving and they headed down the road towards Narembeen. Troy put his esky full of beer beside Jaffa’s on the back seat. Pat had warned him it was a BYO restaurant. He glanced at the pocket that held his pills.

‘Hey, Yoda. Do you think the Eagles will win against Freo in the derby tomorrow?’ Jaffa asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

‘I bloody hope so.’ As hard as it was, Troy never missed watching Freddie play. Nowadays Freddie wore his red hair clipped short and he’d grown into his lanky body. The commentators last week had said Freddie played with great heart and that he was inspiring to watch. It reminded Troy of the words Freddie had once said to him. ‘You are my inspiration, Troy, did you know that? When I can’t run any harder I just think about you and then I’m flying.’ Feeling a wave of nostalgia, Troy sent Freddie a text message as he sat in the back seat. Indi was making him soft.

Good luck tomorrow, mate.

He didn’t know if he’d get anything back. He tried hard to keep Freddie as far away as possible. It was better for everyone.

Thanks, Troy. Call me some time, yeah?

Freddie had never given up on Troy; even after all the years he’d spent trying to push him away. Freddie was relentless, a bit like he was on the footy field – he refused to let Troy fade away. Mates didn’t come much better than Freddie. Troy didn’t understand why Freddie didn’t just let him go. Didn’t he see he was trying to save him too?

‘So did you bring a present?’ Tegan asked, turning around in her seat.

He forced a smile and nodded. ‘But you’ll just have to wait and see.’

‘Indi’s hard to buy for. She’d rather a football jumper over a dress, she’s not big on perfumes and she doesn’t take time out to read or watch movies.’ Tegan sighed.

‘Not like you, babe. I know what you like,’ said Jaffa. Tegan squirmed in her seat.

‘Maybe I should just steal her, and make her watch a movie with me,’ she said.

Troy laughed. ‘I don’t think it’s possible for her to sit still that long.’

Jaffa slowed down, pulling into a driveway with a big cream brick fence. The drive was lined with olive trees, guiding them up to a large building shining with lights.

‘It’s nice here, Troy. You can actually see traditional olive pressing sometimes. Best olives, and the food’s divine.’ Tegan opened her door after Jaffa stopped in the car park. ‘Good, Indi’s not here yet.’ Tegan pulled out a paper bag with a gift in it while Jaffa moved around to get the esky.

Troy picked up his own esky along with Indi’s gift.

They walked towards the terracotta-coloured building. The restaurant was lined with glass-panel doors and windows like something from Italy. Tegan led them through to the restaurant. A big table was set up for them. Patrick and Maddie were already there, as was Trevor.

‘Okay, everyone,’ Tegan said as her phone pinged. ‘Jasper says they’re just pulling in now.’ Everyone stood up, ready to greet the guest of honour.

Indi walked in with her dad and Jasper, who was still on crutches. When she saw them all at the table waiting she frowned, turned and said a few words to Jasper. By the smirk on his face and the frown on Allan’s, he guessed they weren’t, ‘Oh, how wonderful – a surprise!’

‘Happy Birthday, Indi,’ they shouted. Everyone started hugging and kissing her. Troy knew he had to do the same, even if it ached to do so.

She looked radiant in skinny jeans, black boots, a long black V-neck top and her grey scarf. Her hair was out and reflected the soft light.

Troy reached for her, his arms out and she stepped into them. She smelt as good as she looked. ‘Happy Birthday, Indi,’ he said softly. He felt her tremble as she hugged him back. It was too much – Troy pulled away. He couldn’t kiss her cheek. It was too smooth and far too close to her lips. To hide his feelings, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box.

‘Troy, you didn’t have to get me a present,’ she said, her cheeks blushing pink and her eyes sparkling. He needed to move away from her: she was intoxicating.

‘It’s not much, but you’ve earned it.’ He smiled and stepped back to his seat. He needed a cold beer, fast. He quickly dug one of his beers from the esky and managed to restrain himself from dunking his head into the ice to cool off.

‘Open it. Then you can open mine,’ said Tegan, who had sat down at the table.

Everyone was watching Indi. Indi’s glistening lips burst into a wide grin as she unwrapped the coach’s whistle. ‘Oh, my god. Troy, I love it.’

He wasn’t expecting her to throw her arms around him at he sat there, nor to feel the gentle pressure of her soft lips against his cheek. His grip tightened around his cold drink. Luckily she moved away before his grip broke the glass.

‘Look, Dad.’ Indi blew a short burst on her whistle.

‘Oh, no, Yoda. Now we’ll have her blowing that all the time.’ Jasper was frowning at him from where he stood beside Indi, slouched against his crutches. Patrick was laughing uncontrollably and Allan reached for his ears.

When Patrick stopped laughing he hugged Indi. ‘Please, don’t use that on me at training.’

‘Why not? It’ll be so useful.’ She blew the whistle. ‘Drop and give me fifty.’ She laughed as both Jasper and Patrick shot Troy daggers.

‘I couldn’t think of anything else,’ Troy said in his defence.

‘It’s bad enough that you have a whistle,’ said Jaffa with a smile. ‘Now Indi too? She can’t take that to training, right?’ Then he glanced at Tegan. ‘Maybe I could borrow it for at home – I could whistle for you, sweetie.’ Jaffa put his hand on hers but Tegan pulled it back and reached for her glass of water. ‘Come on, it would be perfect.’ Troy noticed Jasper flinch beside him, like a gun cocked, ready for firing.

‘I’m not your dog,’ she snapped.

‘I don’t know what you’re all so worried about,’ Trevor said. ‘I can hardly hear it.’

There was a fresh burst of laughter. The rest of the night was just as entertaining. Indi was at the head of the table, so there was plenty of distance between her and Troy, and he could handle the occasional meeting of eyes and shared smiles. The owner came to clear away their dishes. The food was great and Troy couldn’t help but laugh at Trevor, who had ordered the pasta and struggled to keep it on his fork.

Allan stood up and cleared his throat. Everyone turned to listen.

‘She’s a special girl, our Indi. And a special girl deserves a special twenty-fourth birthday present. Can you come here, darling?’ Allan held out his arms. Indi got up and hugged him. ‘Happy Birthday, Indianna.’

Allan pointed to Jasper and as Indi turned she could see the large present in his hand. Her grin was huge.

‘Open it,’ said Tegan.

Indi held the large present against her waist as she pulled off the paper. Troy could see her eyes sparkling with tears as she looked at the gift. She put the frame down, turned and hugged Allan. They stood like that for a long time before they pulled apart. Indi and Allan both swiped at the tears on their cheeks.