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Authors: William Shakespeare

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    And twenty cagèd nightingales do sing.
    Or wilt thou sleep? We’ll have thee to a couch
    Softer and sweeter than the
lustful
36
bed
    On purpose
trimmed up
37
for Semiramis.
    Say thou wilt walk, we will
bestrow
38
the ground.
    Or wilt thou ride? Thy horses shall be
trapped
39
,
    Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.
    Dost thou love
hawking
41
? Thou hast hawks will soar
    Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt?
    Thy hounds shall make the
welkin
43
answer them
    And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.

FIRST SERVINGMAN
    Say thou wilt
course
45
, thy greyhounds are as swift
    As
breathèd
46
stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.

SECOND SERVINGMAN
    Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight
    
Adonis
48
painted by a running brook,
    And
Cytherea
49
all in sedges hid,
    Which seem to move and
wanton
50
with her breath,
    Even as the waving sedges play with wind.

LORD
    We’ll show thee
Io
52
as she was a maid,
    And how she was
beguilèd
53
and surprised,
    As
lively
54
painted as the deed was done.

THIRD SERVINGMAN
    Or
Daphne
55
roaming through a thorny wood,
    Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds,
    And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,
    So
workmanly
58
the blood and tears are drawn.

LORD
    Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord.
    Thou hast a lady far more beautiful
    Than any woman in this
waning
61
age.

FIRST SERVINGMAN
    And till the tears that she hath shed for thee
    Like
envious
63
floods o’errun her lovely face,
    She was the fairest creature in the world,
    And
yet
65
she is inferior to none.

SLY
    Am I a lord? And have I such a lady?
    Or do I dream? Or have I dreamed till now?
    I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak,
    I smell sweet savours and I feel soft things.
    Upon my life, I am a lord indeed
    And not a tinker nor Christopher Sly.
    Well, bring our lady hither to our sight,
    And once again, a pot o’th’smallest ale.

SECOND SERVINGMAN
    Will’t please your mightiness to wash your hands?
    O, how we joy to see your
wit
75
restored!
    O, that once more you
knew but
76
what you are!
    These fifteen years you have been in a dream,
    Or when you waked, so waked as if you slept.

SLY
    These fifteen years! By my
fay
79
, a goodly nap.
    But did I never speak
of
80
all that time?

FIRST SERVINGMAN
    O, yes, my lord, but very idle words,
    For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,
    Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door,
    And
rail upon
84
the hostess of the house,
    And say you would
present her at the leet
85
,
    Because she brought
stone jugs and no sealed quarts
86
:
    Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.

SLY
    Ay, the
woman’s maid of the house
88
.

THIRD SERVINGMAN
    Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,
    Nor no such men as you have
reckoned up
90
,
    As Stephen Sly and old John Naps of
Greece
91
    And Peter Turph and Henry Pimpernell
    And twenty more such names and men as these
    Which never were nor no man ever saw.

SLY
    Now lord be thankèd for my good
amends
95
!

ALL
    Amen.

Enter
[
the Page dressed as a
]
lady, with Attendants

SLY
    I thank thee. Thou shalt not lose by it.

PAGE
    How fares my noble lord?

SLY
    
Marry
99
, I fare well, for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife?

PAGE
    Here, noble lord. What is thy will with her?

SLY
    Are you my wife and will not call me husband?
    My men should call me ‘lord’. I am your
goodman
102
.

PAGE
    My husband and my lord, my lord and husband,
    I am your wife in all obedience.

SLY
    I know it well.— What must I call her?

LORD
    Madam.

SLY
    
Al’ce
107
madam, or Joan madam?

LORD
    ‘Madam’, and nothing else. So lords call ladies.

SLY
    Madam wife, they say that I have dreamed
    And slept above some fifteen year or more.

PAGE
    Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me,
    Being all this time
abandoned
112
from your bed.

SLY
    ’Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone.

[
Exeunt Attendants
]

    Madam, undress you and come now to bed.

PAGE
    Thrice-noble lord, let me entreat of you
    To pardon me yet for a night or two,
    Or, if not so, until the sun be set.
    For your physicians have expressly charged,
    
In peril to incur your former malady
119
,
    That I should yet absent me from your bed:
    I hope this reason
stands for
121
my excuse.

SLY
    Ay,
it stands
122
so that I may hardly tarry so long. But I
    would be loath to fall into my dreams again. I will therefore
    tarry in
despite
124
of the flesh and the blood.

Enter a Messenger

MESSENGER
    Your honour’s players, hearing your amendment,
    Are come to play a
pleasant
126
comedy,
    
For so your doctors hold it very
meet
127
,
    Seeing too much sadness hath congealed your blood,
    And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy:
    Therefore they thought it good you hear a play
    And
frame
131
your mind to mirth and merriment,
    Which
bars
132
a thousand harms and lengthens life.

SLY
    Marry, I will, let them play it. Is not a
comonty a
    Christmas gambold
133
or a
tumbling trick
134
?

PAGE
    No, my good lord, it is more pleasing
stuff
135
.

SLY
    What, household stuff?

PAGE
    It is a kind of
history
137
.

SLY
    Well, we’ll see’t. Come, madam wife, sit by my side

    and let the world
slip
139
, we shall ne’er be younger.

They sit

Flourish

[Act 1 Scene 1]
running scene 2

Location:
Padua

Enter
Lucentio
and his man Tranio

LUCENTIO
    Tranio, since for the great desire I had
    To see fair
Padua
2
, nursery of arts,
    I am arrived
for
3
fruitful Lombardy,
    The pleasant garden of great Italy,
    And by my father’s love and
leave
5
am armed
    With his good will and thy good company,
    My trusty servant, well
approved
7
in all,
    Here let us
breathe
8
and haply institute
    A course of learning and
ingenious
9
studies.
    Pisa, renownèd for
grave
10
citizens,
    
Gave me my being and my father first
11
,
    A merchant of
great traffic
12
through the world,
    Vincentio
come of
13
the Bentivolii.
    
Vincentio’s son, brought up in Florence,
    It shall become to serve all hopes conceived,
    To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds
14
:
    And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study,
    Virtue and that part of philosophy
    Will I apply that
treats of
19
happiness
    By virtue specially to be achieved.
    Tell me thy mind, for I have Pisa left
    And am to Padua come, as he that leaves
    A shallow
plash
23
to plunge him in the deep
    And with
satiety
24
seeks to quench his thirst.

TRANIO
    
Mi perdonato
25
, gentle master mine.
    I am in all
affected
26
as yourself,
    Glad that you thus continue your resolve
    To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.
    Only, good master, while we do admire
    This virtue and this moral discipline,
    Let’s be no
stoics
31
nor no stocks, I pray,
    Or so devote to
Aristotle
32
’s checks
    
As
33
Ovid be an outcast quite abjured.
    
Balk
34
logic with acquaintance that you have
    And practise rhetoric in your
common
35
talk,
    Music and poesy use to
quicken
36
you;
    The mathematics and the metaphysics,
    
Fall to
38
them as you find your stomach serves you.
    
No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en
39
:
    In brief, sir, study what you most
affect
40
.

LUCENTIO
    
Gramercies
41
, Tranio, well dost thou advise.
    If, Biondello, thou
wert
42
come ashore,
    We could at once put us in readiness,
    And take a lodging fit to entertain
    Such friends as time in Padua shall
beget
45
.
    But stay a while, what company is this?

TRANIO
    Master, some show to welcome us to town.

Enter Baptista with his two daughters, Katherina and Bianca, Gremio a pantaloon, Hortensio suitor to Bianca. Lucentio
[
and
]
Tranio stand by

BAPTISTA
    Gentlemen,
importune
48
me no farther,
    For how I firmly am resolved you know:
    That is, not to
bestow
50
my youngest daughter
    Before I have a husband for the elder.
    If either of you both love Katherina,
    Because I know you well and love you well,
    Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.

GREMIO
    To
cart her
55
rather. She’s too rough for me.

Aside?

    There, there, Hortensio,
will you
56
any wife?

KATE
    I pray you, sir, is it your will

To Baptista

    To make a
stale
58
of me amongst these mates?

HORTENSIO
    ‘Mates’, maid? How mean you that? No mates for you,
    Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.

KATE
    I’faith, sir, you shall never need to fear:
    
Iwis
62
it is not halfway to her heart.
    But if it were, doubt not
her care
63
should be
    To comb your
noddle
64
with a three-legged stool
    And
paint
65
your face and use you like a fool.

HORTENSIO
    From all such devils, good lord deliver us!

GREMIO
    And me too, good lord!

TRANIO
    Husht, master! Here’s some good pastime
toward
68
;

Aside to Lucentio

    That wench is stark mad or
wonderful froward
69
.

LUCENTIO
    But in the other’s silence do I see

Aside to Tranio

    Maid’s mild behaviour and sobriety.
    Peace, Tranio!

TRANIO
    Well said, master.
Mum
73
, and gaze your fill.

Aside to Lucentio

BAPTISTA
    Gentlemen, that I may soon make good
    What I have said, Bianca, get you in,
    And let it not displease thee, good Bianca,
    For I will love thee ne’er the less, my girl.

KATE
    A pretty
peat
78
! It is best
    
Put finger in the eye, an she knew why
79
.

BIANCA
    Sister,
content you
80
in my discontent.
    Sir, to your
pleasure
81
humbly I subscribe:
    My books and instruments shall be my company,
    On them to look and practise by myself.

LUCENTIO
    Hark, Tranio, thou may’st hear
Minerva
84
speak.

HORTENSIO
    Signior Baptista, will you be so
strange
85
?
    Sorry am I that our good will
effects
86
    Bianca’s grief.

GREMIO
    Why will you
mew her up
88
,
    Signior Baptista,
for
89
this fiend of hell,
    And make
her
90
bear the penance of her tongue?

BAPTISTA
    Gentlemen, content ye, I am resolved.—
    Go in, Bianca.—

[
Exit Bianca
]

    And
for
93
I know she taketh most delight
    In music, instruments and poetry,
    Schoolmasters will I keep within my house
    Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio,
    Or Signior Gremio, you, know any such,
    
Prefer
98
them hither, for to cunning men
    I will be very kind, and liberal
    To mine own children in good bringing up.
    And so farewell.— Katherina, you may stay,
    For I have more to
commune
102
with Bianca.

Exit

KATE
    Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not? What,
    shall I be
appointed hours
104
, as though, belike, I knew not
    what to take and what to leave? Ha?

Exit

GREMIO
    You may go to the devil’s
dam
106
. Your gifts are so
    good,
here’s none will hold you
107
.— Their love is not so great,
    Hortensio, but we may
blow our nails
108
together, and fast it
    fairly out.
Our cake’s dough on both sides
109
. Farewell. Yet for
    the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means
light
    on
110
a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will
    
wish
112
him to her father.

HORTENSIO
    So will I, Signior Gremio. But a word, I pray.
    Though the nature of our quarrel yet never
brooked parle
114
,
    know now, upon
advice
115
, it toucheth us both — that we may
    yet again have access to our fair mistress and be happy rivals
    in Bianca’s love — to
labour and effect
117
one thing specially.

GREMIO
    What’s that, I pray?

HORTENSIO
    Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.

GREMIO
    A husband? A devil.

HORTENSIO
    I say a husband.

GREMIO
    I say a devil. Think’st thou, Hortensio, though her
    father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to
    hell?

HORTENSIO
    Tush, Gremio, though it
pass
125
your patience and
    mine to endure her loud
alarums
126
, why, man, there be good
    fellows in the world,
an
127
a man could light on them, would
    take her with all faults, and money enough.

GREMIO
    I cannot tell, but I
had as lief
129
take her dowry with
    this condition: to be whipped at the
high cross
130
every
    morning.

HORTENSIO
    Faith, as you say, there’s small choice in rotten
    apples. But come, since this
bar in law
133
makes us friends, it
    shall be so far forth friendly maintained till by helping
    Baptista’s eldest daughter to a husband we set his youngest
    free for a husband, and then
have to’t afresh
136
. Sweet Bianca!
    
Happy man be his dole!
137
He that runs fastest gets the ring.
    How say you, Signior Gremio?

GREMIO
    I am agreed, and would I had given him the best
    horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly
    woo her, wed her and bed her and rid the house of her!
    Come on.

Exeunt both
[
Gremio and Hortensio
].
Tranio and Lucentio remain

TRANIO
    I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible
    That love should of a sudden take such hold?

LUCENTIO
    O Tranio, till I found it to be true,
    I never thought it possible or likely.
    But see, while idly I stood looking on,
    I found the effect of
love in idleness
148
,
    And now in plainness do confess to thee,
    That art to me as
secret
150
and as dear
    As
Anna to the Queen of Carthage
151
was,
    Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio,
    If I achieve not this young modest girl.
    Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst.
    Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.

TRANIO
    Master, it is no time to chide you now.
    Affection is not
rated
157
from the heart:
    If love have touched you, naught remains but so,
    
Redime te captum quam queas minimo
159
.

LUCENTIO
    Gramercies, lad.
Go forward
160
. This contents:
    The rest will comfort, for thy counsel’s sound.

TRANIO
    Master, you looked
so longly
162
on the maid,
    Perhaps you
marked not
163
what’s the pith of all.

LUCENTIO
    O, yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,
    Such as the
daughter of Agenor
165
had,
    That made great Jove to humble
him
166
to her hand.
    When with his knees he
kissed
167
the Cretan strand.

TRANIO
    Saw you no more? Marked you not how her sister
    Began to scold and raise up such a storm
    That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?

LUCENTIO
    Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move
    And with her breath she did perfume the air.
    Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.

TRANIO
    Nay, then, ’tis time to stir him from his trance.—

Aside

    I pray, awake, sir. If you love the maid,
    
Bend
176
thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands:
    Her elder sister is so
curst
177
and shrewd
    That till the father rid his hands of her,
    Master, your love must live a
maid
179
at home,
    And therefore has he
closely
180
mewed her up,
    Because she will not be
annoyed
181
with suitors.

LUCENTIO
    Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father’s he!
    But art thou not
advised
183
he took some care
    To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?

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