The Widow and the Orphan (3 page)

“Where the
hell
have you been?” Vivienne whisper-yelled as Pepper walked into the kitchen from the side door she knew would be unlocked in the house her best friend had purchased upon her move to California. The place was a wreck. Baskets of laundry were everywhere. Presents for the baby still wrapped and unopened were strewn across the table in the breakfast nook. Burp cloths draped over every surface they could cling to. The smell of baby powder, disposable diapers and something Pepper couldn’t quite place (spoiled milk?) permeated the whole place. Viv stood at the sink, scrubbing baby bottles by hand. Her red hair was sort of in a bun, but most of it had come loose and was hanging around her face. Her tank top had stains on it and her yoga pants were baggy in the butt, as if she had been wearing them for more than a few days. As Pepper got closer, she wondered when Viv’s last shower was.

“What are you talking about?” Pepper tossed her purse and keys on the counter. “Where’s the baby?” She kicked off her black pumps and shoved them under one of the barstools at the island.

“Sleeping, thank God.” Viv’s voice cracked and she started crying. “Pepper, I’m so
fucking tired
!” she moaned.

Pepper rushed to her side and grabbed the scrubber and bottle out of her hands, letting them drop into the sink full of hot, sudsy water. “Where’s Will?” she demanded.

“At the studio. I finally convinced him to go. The band’s desperate to finish the album, but he hasn’t left the house until today. I don’t care how tired I am, he’s been driving me
crazy
!”

“Is Jane okay?”

“Oh, sure. She’s great. Except she almost
never
sleeps!”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” Pepper let out a relieved sigh, hugging and rocking with Viv as they stood at the counter.

“I’ve been leaving you voicemails! I thought you were avoiding us. Me. You didn’t call me.”

Pepper frowned into the top of Viv’s head and then pulled away. “Hun, I
did
call. I called
and
texted.”

Viv gave her a dumb look and then started crying even harder. Pepper grabbed her hands and squeezed trying to get her to calm down. “Honey,
breathe
! What’s
wrong
?”

“I dropped my phone in the bathtub while taking pictures of the baby! Will got me a new one, and I must have put your number in wrong!”

Pepper really, really, felt bad for her. She looked like shit, hadn’t been sleeping and really had needed her. Yet, she couldn’t help herself and started to laugh. Viv glared at her for all of three seconds and then she started to laugh through her tears too. Soon, they were both hugging one another and sliding to the floor, unable to stop the giggling. Vivienne’s tears of frustration were replaced with ones of hilarity and Pepper joined in.

They probably would have sat there on the floor for an hour trying to get a hold of themselves, but the gentle mewling coming out of the baby monitor got their attention fast. Viv hauled herself up, holding onto her stomach, and the two of them hurried to Jane’s room.

“You move pretty good for a woman who just had major surgery.”

“Pffft,” Vivienne sniffed. “You should have seen me the first week. “I shuffled around like an old woman. It’s a lot better, though.”

Pepper couldn’t believe how tiny Jane still was and how beautiful. She was the most perfect little creature she’d ever seen. She had a dusting of dark brown hair that was all Will and the brightest green eyes that mirrored her mother’s. Her skin was so smooth and pink that Pepper couldn’t resist leaning over to stroke an itty bitty foot. She realized then that maybe she was just the tiniest bit jealous. She never wanted kids, but seeing Viv’s daughter reminded her that the decision was final on her part. She’d never know what it was like to have a little being grow inside her stomach. She would never experience the sheer joy and terror at becoming a parent. She would forever be known as Auntie Pepper. Had she made that determination too quickly? Too soon?
No. I’m okay with it
, she thought after a few seconds. She had to, she just turned forty-two.

Jane’s little face was scrunched up into a frown and she struggled inside the burrito wrap her mother had so lovingly placed her in. She wasn’t screaming, yet, but even someone like Pepper, with no maternal instinct or knowledge of kids, knew she was on her way. “Is she hungry?”

“Maybe. And probably soaked to the skin, too. I don’t care what kind of diaper I put on her, she pees right through everything.”

Pepper chuckled and watched as Viv reached for the baby. Sure enough, she could see the wet stain covering Jane’s lower half. Watching her best friend quickly and competently strip the infant, change the diaper, and redress her within three minutes was a shock. She looked like an old pro, no hesitation in her movements or uncertainty of any kind.
Wow, she was meant for this
. Any jealousy she had before evaporated. Pepper knew people said when the kid was your own, it was different, but there was no way she would ever be that confident after only two weeks on the job.

“You’re a natural, Viv.”

She sniffed. “It might look like it, but I do this about a hundred times a day. It didn’t take long to get good at it.”

By the time she finished dressing the baby and wrapping her up again, Jane was out cold and her little snores were about the cutest thing Pepper had ever heard. “She’s an angel!” Viv put her back down in the crib and stared at her for a moment.

“Yeah, for the twenty minutes at a time she sleeps. But most of the time she’s eating, which leads to peeing, pooing, or throwing up on me. And when I’ve cleaned her up, she sleeps again for another twenty minutes, then wakes up either wet or hungry, starting the whole cycle over again.”

Pepper turned away and smiled. As irritated as Viv sounded, the look on her face was blissful. Whether or not she was suffering with all the new mommy-hood growing pains, Pepper hadn’t seen her this happy since the day she admitted she was in love with Will. Viv grabbed her by the hand and tiptoed out of the room.

“Come here. You need to see something.”

She led Pepper down the hall to the spare bedroom. Flinging the door open wide, the floor was covered with all kinds of boxes. It took her a second, but Pepper realized that most of them were deliveries from the websites or stores where she had been shopping.
Uh oh, I’m in for an ass-chewing
.

“Thank you so much for all the lovely gifts,” Viv said softly. “Our girl is going to be pretty spoiled.” The gentle smile on her face gave Pepper hope.

Oh, maybe I skated on this one
.

“But I need you to stop buying things for Jane.” Vivienne’s tone remained pleasant and even. She pulled the door closed, turned to Pepper and shook a finger an inch from her nose. “Knock it off!”

“Okay.” Pepper leaned back, struggling to keep the grin off her lips, even though Viv’s finger never stopped waggling.

Vivienne grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a shake, her own mouth forming a loving smile.

“Are we clear? Do you get it? Don’t make me spell it out, too!”

“Yes, Viv, I got it. No more presents.” Pepper nodded and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

“Good.” Vivienne winked, then turned to walk back to the kitchen.

“For a while,” Pepper mumbled.

“
I heard that!
”

Pepper drove home with a renewed sense of purpose. She was going to make sure she was there to help Vivienne in any way she could and to hell with Will butting in and telling her what to do.
Why did I listen to him in the first place
? Without having any other family left, Pepper was it for Vivienne. She would be the surrogate sister, mom, Auntie, and best friend all rolled into one. It seemed like things were finally falling into place in a good way for both of them.

Turning the corner onto her street, she enjoyed the trees that lined the block, giving her some relief from the beating sun. Their subdivision was higher end to be sure, but she was glad they didn’t live in some remote mansion along Mulholland Drive. Pepper always liked to be in the thick of things. The ultramodern, four bedroom home she and Gabe shared fit right in with all the other houses and gave her a sense of normalcy. The last thing she thought of herself as was the model girlfriend of a movie mogul.

When she pulled into the driveway, Gabe’s car was already there. Pepper couldn’t wait to tell him about her afternoon. As she raced into the house, she called out for him. “Hey babe! Where are you?”

She didn’t get any answer, so she took the stairs two at a time. It was just about dinner time and he couldn’t have been home long. As she reached the top of the stairs and headed for the bedroom, she could hear the water running in the shower.

Slowing her pace, Pepper tossed her purse onto the bed and kicked off her shoes. Humming a little to herself, she reached around to unzip her black, pencil skirt. As she turned to walk into the bathroom, the movement of her hips made the material slide down and fall to the floor where she stepped out of it. Pulling at the buttons on her purple silk blouse, she peeked into the bathroom to make sure Gabe was in the shower and not otherwise occupied.

He was crumpled in a heap on the shower floor, the water splashing his inert body.

“Gabe!” she screamed, closing the gap in three long strides. She threw open the door and fell to her knees, grabbing his arm and flipping him onto his side. He moaned and twitched, proving that he was still alive. “Gabe! What’s wrong?!” Panic shot through her like zap of electricity, while the hot water soaked through her top and plastered her hair to her face.

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, small droplets of water splattering off his lashes. “Pepper?” His face was pasty white and stood out against the gray stone tile that made up the shower. She felt his cheeks and forehead, trying to see if he was hot or cold, but it was impossible to tell.

“I’m right here. It’s okay. What happened?” She helped him to sit up and he continued to try and focus his eyes. Pepper wanted to run and call 9-1-1, but was too scared to leave him alone. She grasped for the faucet to turn off the water.

“I’m not sure,” he whispered, leaning his back against the wet tile of the shower stall. “I was showering and then…”

“I’m calling an ambulance,” Pepper announced as she tried to stand up without slipping and falling. Gabe’s hands didn’t have their usual strength, but she was surprised at the grip he managed to produce.

“No, don’t.”

“Are you
kidding
?” She tugged, trying to get away, to get to her phone.

“I’m all right now. I think I must have fainted.”

Pepper glared at him, but it was out of sheer fright more than anything else. She stared at his face as he took slow, deep breaths. Sure enough, after a few of them, his face seemed to regain some color and his eyes stayed open and focused. She thought he still looked ashen, but again, she just couldn’t tell in the poor lighting of the bathroom.
Dammit, who would pick this color tile
?

“Come on. You have to get dried off,” Pepper insisted. He let her go long enough to get some towels and she spread them over the shower and bathroom floor so he wouldn’t slip as he leaned on her for support. With careful steps, they made their way to the bed, where Gabe slumped onto the mattress and leaned forward. Pepper panicked when she thought he was going to fall forward again, but he caught his head in his hands and sighed.

“That was surely the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced.” Gabe looked up at her and gave her a weak smile.

“I think you should go to the hospital. What happened before you went blank? Did you have any pain? Chest pains? Your head?” She was about to grab for her purse and her phone, but the refreshed strength in Gabe’s voice stopped her short.

“No, absolutely not. I told you, it was just a faint. I haven’t been eating properly and it was terribly hot today. I’m probably just dehydrated.”

Pepper kept her eyes fixed on his face while she rubbed him dry with a towel and considered what he said. The dim lighting in the bedroom wasn’t helping her to figure out if his color was still improving. She switched on a bedside lamp, but the room only filled with a yellowish glow.

“It was hot today,” she admitted, her anxiety diminishing. Gabe reached for the towel and plucked it out of her hands.

“Darling, you’re soaked to the skin. Get out of those wet clothes.”

Pepper gaped at him. How he could be thinking about her in the middle of everything, she couldn’t fathom.
That’s Gabe
. She stripped off what little clothing she still wore and let it pile up on the floor. He wrapped the towel around her, then pulled her into his arms.

“I’m
fine
. I’m so sorry to have frightened you.”

Pepper was reassured by his returning vigor. The embrace felt familiar and comfortable, like a billion others he’d given her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned into him.

“Don’t ever do that again,” she whimpered and then burrowed harder against his chest, feeling like a complete idiot. The adrenaline coursing through her veins began to dissipate and her limbs trembled with release.

“Shh, there, there.” Gabe whispered other soothing words into her head that she couldn’t hear.

* * * * *

The next morning, Pepper woke to find Gabe’s side of the bed empty and right away her heart tripled its beat as her stomach plunged to her feet. She scrambled out of bed, nearly falling when she got tangled up in the sheets. “Gabe! Gabe!” she yelled, bursting into the bathroom and finding it empty. All of the horror from the day before came rushing back to smack her in the face.

She turned and bolted out of the bathroom, across the bedroom, and to the door. She felt like she was ripping it off the hinges as she burst from the room into the open hallway that looked down onto the foyer below. Not seeing him, she raced down the stairs. Grabbing the newel post at the bottom step, she swung herself around so she could race to the kitchen.

“Gabe!”

Pepper grabbed the island in the kitchen to steady herself when she found Gabe standing at the counter, fixing himself a cup of tea. Buds were tucked firmly into his ears and Pepper could hear classical music from all the way across the room.

Stomping over to him, he caught sight of her at the last second before she reached up and yanked on the cord to his earphones, making them pop out of his ears. “What the
hell
are you doing?” she demanded.

Gabe frowned at her and rubbed the sides of his head. “What the devil are
you
doing?”

“You scared the shit out of me! I wake up and you aren’t there. I start yelling my head off for you and you don’t answer.” Pepper socked him in the arm, making tea slosh over the sides of his cup.

Instead of offering any kind of contrite apology, Gabe snickered, which earned him another punch in the arm. Pepper was not amused.

“What the fuck, Gabe? Didn’t you think I’d freak out?”

“Honestly, I did not. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. Would you like a cup of tea?”

Remembering that, fewer than a couple of minutes ago, she was sound asleep, Pepper rubbed her eyes and yawned. “What time is it?”

“A little after seven.”

“No, thank you. I’ll make myself some coffee.”

Pepper moved through the kitchen, still highly irritated. She whipped open the cupboard door to get the coffee filters and the toasted almond grounds she liked. She banged the door shut and then proceeded to make all sorts of annoying noises as she set the coffee maker to work.

“Are you finished?” Gabe lounged against the island. He dunked his teabag in and out of the cup lazily, the sparkle of humor lighting up his eyes.

“No. And I may not be for quite some time,” she responded, flipping him the bird. “In fact, I may just be pissy all day, if you aren’t careful.”

Gabe’s laughter was hale and hearty. Pepper felt her anger surge for a second or two, and then pop like a soap bubble in the bath. She couldn’t really stay mad at him. Panicking just because he wasn’t in bed was no way to stay calm in an emergency situation. What if he
had
been passed out on the kitchen floor, or somewhere else in the house? Running around like a chicken with her head cut off and screaming certainly wouldn’t have accomplished anything.

“All right, all right. I overreacted,” Pepper admitted as she sat across from him with her cup of coffee loaded with half and half.

“Yes, you did. I told you, love, I was dehydrated and tired yesterday.”

“That may well be.” She sipped a little before continuing. “But how long were you on the floor of the shower before I got home? And how much longer would you have been there if I hadn’t shown up?” These were points that hadn’t really occurred to her until just then. After crying in his arms for longer than she cared to admit, Pepper and Gabe laid down together in bed, fully intending to get back up and have dinner. They had fallen asleep and made it through the entire night instead.

“I hadn’t been there but a minute.” Gabe avoided looking at her and pushed his cup around, swooshing and swirling the tea inside. “And you did come just then. Call it providence.”

“I call it bullshit,” Pepper spat. “How long has it been since you’ve been to the doctor? Had a physical?”

Gabe frowned and shook his head. “Totally unnecessary. I’m fine, I assure you.”

“Pffft.” Pepper rolled her eyes and took another swallow of coffee. “I don’t deny it was probably an isolated incident. But don’t you think it’s better to be safe than sorry? I know if I passed out for no good reason, I’d be heading straight to the doctor.”

“That’s the thing, there was a very good reason why it happened. I was dehydrated and tired. How many times must I say it?”

Pepper shook her head. “I’d buy that if you knew for sure it was the exact reason why it happened. But you don’t know. Call your doctor, Gabe. Make an appointment.” She drained her cup and stood up. “Promise me.”

“All right, love. I promise.”