The Wonder of Your Love (A Land of Canaan Novel) (10 page)

K
ATIE
A
NN
P
ULLED
the last of the clothes through the wringer washer, then began to hang the wet items in the mudroom. Temperatures had dropped during the night, and a blanket of frost still covered everything at nine o’clock this morning. She’d tried to stay busy for the past four hours, since she’d gotten up to nurse Jonas. After feeding her little one, he’d drifted back to sleep, and Katie Ann had busied herself cleaning and washing clothes. Anything to keep her mind off Lucy’s impending visit.

She didn’t know the woman well at all. She had worked at a café back in Lancaster County, and they’d only spoken a handful of times before Katie Ann caught Ivan kissing her one day. After that, her husband had promised her that he’d stopped seeing Lucy, that there’d never been more than a shared kiss and a few phone calls. Katie Ann knew now that Ivan had lied to her, and she couldn’t help but wonder if there were other untruths built around his relationship with Lucy. Maybe he had tried to end it with Lucy, but Katie Ann could still remember the way she begged Ivan not to leave their marriage. She and Ivan had relocated to Colorado for a new beginning, but Ivan’s heart had remained in Lancaster County. And even though Katie Ann had adjusted nicely to her life in Colorado, Lancaster County was where her own roots were. She wondered if she would ever move back there.

As she clipped a towel to a hanger, she recalled Ivan’s funeral a few months ago. Lucy had been racked with grief, and Katie Ann almost felt sorry for the woman. Almost. But there was always enough bitterness in Katie Ann’s heart to drown out any sympathy for Lucy. Perhaps she shouldn’t have even agreed to this meeting.
An urgent matter?

She thought about what Martha said. Could Lucy be coming to ask for money? When she heard a car pulling in, she left the rest of the wet clothes in the laundry basket. Her stomach clenched tight as she smoothed the wrinkles from her black apron and moved through the house. Her heart felt like it would beat out of her chest as she stood on the other side of the closed door, waiting for Lucy to knock. She listened to her heels click up the porch steps, then a soft tap against the door.

Katie Ann opened the front door, took one look at Lucy, and almost gasped. A knot formed in her throat, and she couldn’t speak.

“Hello, Katie Ann.” Lucy tried to pull her long beige coat tighter around her, but it didn’t hide her enlarged belly.

Katie Ann managed to open the door and motion for Lucy to enter.

“Come in,” she finally said after Lucy was already inside the living room and Katie Ann was shutting the door. She could hear the tremble in her voice, and she wondered if Lucy was half as nervous as she was.

“I guess you must have noticed . . .” Lucy’s voice trailed off as she placed both hands on her stomach. “I’m six months pregnant.”

“Ivan’s?” Katie Ann asked.

Lucy looked down at her brown boots. “Yes.”

Katie Ann moved as if she were a character in someone else’s nightmare, unable to believe that this adulteress was in her home. Any earlier thoughts of polite small talk or an offer of coffee slipped from her mind. Still standing, she asked, “What do you want, Lucy?”

Lucy’s bottom lip trembled as she avoided eye contact with Katie Ann. “First of all, I want to say how very sorry I am. For everything.”

She looked up at Katie Ann as a tear rolled down her cheek, and Katie Ann stared at her, knowing she didn’t have one ounce of forgiveness for the woman, despite what she’d said, thought, or prayed about in the past. And she had no plans to make this visit easy on her.

“What do you want?” she asked again.

Katie Ann was surprised at how plain Lucy looked. She didn’t have on the heavy makeup she’d seen her wear before, and her clothes were conservative, not as if she’d selected them that morning with the intention of seducing someone’s husband. Perhaps being pregnant had humbled the woman.

Still standing, Lucy reached into her oversized brown purse and pulled out a wooden box. “I found this after Ivan died.” She held out a small cedar container for Katie Ann to see.

Katie Ann recognized the box right away. It was half the size of a shoe box, and Ivan’s father had made it for him when he was a boy. He’d always kept it on their dresser.

“What about it?” Katie Ann couldn’t imagine why Ivan’s old keepsake would have brought Lucy all the way to Colorado.

Lucy leaned forward slightly and grimaced.

Instinctively, Katie Ann took a step toward her. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, just a hard kick from the little one.”

Lucy smiled a bit, and Katie Ann stiffened. But despite her resentment of Lucy, she asked her if she would like to sit down.

“Thank you.” Lucy kept her coat on, thankfully, and sat down on the couch.

Katie Ann sat in the rocking chair across from her. “Lucy, I’m sure you didn’t come here to show me Ivan’s box.” She folded her hands in her lap, bit her bottom lip, and waited.

“Actually, it’s what I found in the box.” Lucy unlatched the tiny clasp and pulled out a photograph. She reached across the coffee table and handed it to Katie Ann, who took it hesitantly. It was a picture of a house, a beautiful white house with black shutters and a white picket fence.

Katie Ann handed the picture back to her. “Why are you showing me this?”

Lucy’s voice wavered as she spoke, her eyes watering. “I was hoping you might know where this house is.” She reached back into the box and pulled out two keys. “These keys were in the box also. I think Ivan bought us a house somewhere, and—”

Katie Ann blinked her eyes a few times. “What?”

“I’m sorry, Katie Ann. I’m so sorry. But our bank account is wiped out, and I think Ivan used the money that was in there to purchase this house. But I have no idea where it is. I know that sounds crazy, but I can’t afford to keep making the mortgage on our current house. They’ve cut my hours at the café, and I’ll need to stop working when the baby comes.”

Katie Ann rubbed her forehead and tried to picture Ivan cleaning out their bank account. “That doesn’t sound like Ivan.”

“The money was his. I mean, I had very little when we moved in together. So it isn’t like he stole my money or anything.” Lucy stood up. “I think he was planning to surprise me with a new home.”

Katie Ann thought about all the ways Ivan used to surprise her in the past, whether just a bouquet of flowers, or even once a new buggy. She thought for a moment. “That doesn’t make any sense. Ivan would have put your house on the market to sell before he invested money to build a new one.” Katie Ann shook her head. “I can’t believe this is what you came here to talk to me about.”

She wondered how much money Ivan had put in Lucy’s bank account. He’d told her he left with very little, but Katie Ann had never been familiar with their finances . . . until she’d started to run out of money several months after Ivan left her. Then the mysterious box of money showed up on her doorstep.

“After Ivan was killed, I went to check our bank account,” Lucy said. “His landscaping company had been doing very well, and the money he’d been saving was gone. I haven’t made a mortgage payment since he died. We bought the house I’m in together, and I can’t afford it on my own. I’m going to lose my home, and I’m pregnant. So if I don’t find out if this is our house, I’m going to be homeless.”

Katie Ann tried to absorb what Lucy was saying, but it still didn’t make sense. “If Ivan bought a house, there would be some paperwork or something. How could you not know about it?”

Lucy raised her palms in the air. “Exactly. I was wondering if you knew anything about it.”

“Why would I know? Ivan left me a year ago.” Katie Ann reached down, picked up the picture from the box on the coffee table again, and stared at it, resentment filling every pore.

Lucy sat down and put her head in her hands. “I don’t know. It was a long shot coming here. But I have no paperwork, nothing. Just money missing, a picture of a house, and two keys. It was the only thing I could think of, that Ivan used the money to buy us another house, then died before he had a chance to tell me about it.” Lucy started to sob. “I’m going to have a baby, and I’m going to lose my house. I never even wanted . . .” She stopped and looked up at Katie Ann, and her face reddened.

“You didn’t want a baby?” Katie Ann felt like this surreal conversation was choking her.

Lucy sniffled. “I don’t see myself as a very good mother. I don’t know the first thing about babies.”

Katie Ann eased back into the rocking chair, feeling nauseous. All she’d ever wanted was a baby, and for her and Ivan to have a family together. Now his mistress was sitting on the couch crying. “Being a mother will come naturally to you.”

Lucy swiped at a tear. “Do you think? Did it come naturally to you?”

Katie Ann didn’t like being compared to Lucy, and she didn’t want to share such an intimate detail with her. “It came naturally. And it will for you too.”

Lucy lowered her head again. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I took an advance from work to be able to make this trip.” She stared up at Katie Ann. “Do you think Ivan bought this house for us? To surprise me?”

Katie Ann studied the woman’s expression. “I don’t know.”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense.” She put a finger to her lips for a moment, then asked, “You haven’t gotten any mail regarding this, have you?”

Katie Ann recalled a letter she received from Ivan’s attorney awhile back, but there was no mention of any house. “No. I haven’t.”

Lucy started crying again.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“Maybe just a glass of water.” Lucy pulled a tissue from her coat pocket and blew her nose.

Katie Ann left her in the living room and returned a moment later. She handed the glass of water to her, then folded her arms across her chest. “How much do you need?”

Lucy swallowed a gulp of water. “What?”

“How much money do you need to keep your house from going into foreclosure?”

Lucy stood up and faced Katie Ann. “I didn’t come here to ask you for money. I just came here to see if you recognized that house, or knew where it might be located.”

Katie Ann gazed into Lucy’s eyes, and for some reason . . . she believed her. She left the room, and a minute later she returned with her checkbook.

“Katie Ann, I will not take any money from you.”

Katie Ann scribbled out what she thought would be enough to carry Lucy for several months. She tore the check out and handed it to Lucy. “Take it. You are going to give birth to Jonas’s brother or sister.”

Lucy stiffened her arms at her sides and shook her head. “I can’t.” Then she covered her face with her hands. “How could you even make this offer, after what I did to you?”

Tears poured down Lucy’s face, and Katie Ann dabbed at her own eyes.

“I’m the most horrible person on the planet, and if I could go back, I would have never, never . . .” She sobbed harder. “Please forgive me, Katie Ann.” She looked up at her. “Please. I need to be forgiven.”

Katie Ann swallowed back a lump in her throat. She knew that she could ease Lucy’s pain by telling her that she was forgiven, but the words just wouldn’t come. The image of Ivan walking out the door, abandoning their life together, kept flashing before her.

She pushed the check toward Lucy. “Take the money, Lucy. If not for you, for the child.”

Lucy slowly reached for the check. “Ivan should have stayed with you. You’re a much better person than I am.”

Katie Ann wanted to say, “Yes, he should have.” Instead she moved toward the door, hoping Lucy would follow.

She did.

Lucy stepped out on the porch and then peered at Katie Ann through the screen, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “I loved him. And I miss him very much.”

Katie Ann took a deep breath, rubbed her forehead, and thought about how much she missed Ivan too.

“Ivan and I had a fight the night he was killed.” Lucy closed her eyes tightly for a moment before she looked back at Katie Ann. “We said ugly things to each other, then he left.” She locked eyes with Katie Ann and tipped her head to one side. “I always wondered if he was going back to you.”

A tear rolled down Katie Ann’s cheek, and with Lucy’s eyes still locked with hers, she closed the door. Katie Ann knew that she would spend the rest of her life wondering too now.

MARTHA SAT DOWN
in her recliner, bumping the small table next to her chair for the thousandth time. Katie Ann asked her why she didn’t move the table over, but once she was settled in her chair, the table was close enough to reach her hand lotion, the remote for the television, and the phone without even having to stretch a muscle.