This Time (4 page)

"
Fine, but not at Burke's."

Meg agreed and dropped
Belle's placard at the head of another table. "Are you going to
speak to him at all?"

"
Not if I can help it."

Meg started to scold, but
instead she shifted her focus over her friend's shoulder and said
softly, "You better decide quick, 'cause here he comes with
Gates."

Instinctively, Belle
glanced over her shoulder as the six-foot-three athletic form of
Burke strode gracefully across the gym floor, a very jovial Gates
Fuller walking beside him. She all but bounced with each step. When
they reached Belle and Meg, Belle shot Meg a "help me" glance.
Subtly, Meg stepped between her and Burke.

"
Here's our first emcee," Gates said, overly
sweet.

Belle dropped her gaze to the
floor, her heart beating wildly.

"
Burke, it's wonderful to see you," Meg said, greeting him
with a slight hug.

"
It's good to be home," he said, his voice smooth and deep.
"I'm honored to be Friday night's emcee."

Covertly, Belle slipped around
the small group and found a safe place among the bales of hay. Once
out of sight, she buried her face in her hands and wept.

All the steeling of her heart,
all the barricading of her soul crumbled at the first sound of
Burke's voice. She let the tears come; tears of hurt, tears of
anger, tears of frustration. Slowly, she sank to the floor, her
back resting against a sweet smelling bale.

Lord, seeing him stirs up all
the junk from the past. Give me grace to deal with him.

The tears flowed uncontrollably.
Belle wept and prayed, pouring out her fears and feelings to the
One who loved her most. Peace finally came just as Meg tenderly
called her name.

"
Over here," Belle answered in a loud whisper.

Meg came around the hay
bale. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, wanting to say more,
but feared she would lose control and cry again.

Gentle hands caressed her
shoulders, and Meg joined her on the floor. "You're
crying."

Belle laughed weakly.
"Just a little, Meg. Just a little."

Meg whipped out an old
dishrag she'd been using to wipe down the tables. "Here, blow your
nose on this."

"
It's filthy," Belle noted.

"
It's all I have, and you can't go out to say hi to Burke
with a runny nose and mascara under your eyes."

She smiled and reached for the
smudged rag.

"
He asked about you," Meg offered.

Belle blew her nose and
used a clean spot on the towel to wipe her face. "What did he
say?"

"
Just wondered where you were."

"
Oh," she said, feeling disappointed.

"
You still love him?"

"
No! No, no, no, definitely no!"

"
So, the answer's no, then?" Meg asked.

"
Definitely."

"
Why all the tears?"

"
The moment he spoke to you, I felt it coming. This wave of
emotion, you know? I wasn't ready for it. I thought I'd cried all
the tears I could possibly cry over that man."

"
You okay now?" Meg asked, tenderly brushing her hand over
Belle's hair. "I like this short cut you have now."

Her hand went to her head.
"This is the first time he's seen me with short hair."

"
I think he'll like it."

"
I guess it doesn't really matter if he does or doesn't,"
Belle concluded, looking Meg in the eye. "Thanks for
listening."

"
Hey, what are best friends for? You want to go say hi to
him now?"

"
Do I have to?" Her eyes twinkled at her friend.

"
I think you should. Gates is going over tomorrow night's
agenda with him."

"
I guess I should get out there, then."

"
Belle, you know you have to face him sooner or later. You
can't avoid him this whole weekend."

"
I've managed to avoid him for the past twelve
years."

"
Well, this weekend is your weekend of facing the past; good
and bad. Reunion and reconciliation."

"
We'll see," Belle said, standing. She took a deep cleansing
breath.

Meg smiled and followed Belle
out from among the hay.

By now, Tyler had arrived. Belle
plastered a smile on her face and greeted him warmly. As they stood
talking, she began to relax and occasionally stole a peek at Burke.
He looked as handsome as ever with his strong chin and high cheeks.
His hair had darkened some over the years, and he wore it trimmed
close to his head. Belle liked it. His lean frame had filled out
with the muscle that comes from professional football training, and
his wide, rakish smile still made her knees feel weak.

She expected to see an arrogant,
cocky super star. Instead, she sensed humility about him, a steady
confidence. He was a man at peace.

You're the same Burke Benning,
she thought, only more so. So how could you have-

A vivacious call came from
the back of the gym. "Never fear, the life of the party is now
here." Spencer walked across the floor, his declaration sparking a
laugh.

He worked the room, greeting
each person heartily, boldly interrupting Gates and Burke when he
got to the stage. He gregariously welcomed his old high school
football teammate and rival, over-complimenting his pro
success.

He shook hands with Tyler and
brought up the hottest political issues. They debated amiably,
Spencer baiting the Senator with opposing views just for fun. After
a few minutes, Tyler laughed and assured the crowd that Spencer
would make a fine Washington politician.

"
No, not me," Spencer laughed, holding up his hands, his
playful smile lighting his face. "I let my home town girl here do
all the politicking."

To Belle's surprise, Spencer
wrapped her in his arms and spun her around the floor. She couldn't
help but laugh, his spontaneity lightening her mood.

By now, Burke and Gates had
joined Meg and Tyler down on the main floor. Spencer entertained
them all.

"
I think you missed your calling, Spence. You should have
been an actor," Gates said.

"
Actor, lawyer, politician. What's the
difference?"

Belle glanced around the small
circle, her eyes landing on Burke's face and, just before his eyes
met hers for the first time in a long time, he looked away.

He's as uncomfortable as I am,
Belle realized.

Gates grabbed Tyler to rehearse
his part for Saturday. Meg had some last minute details to attend
to, so in a matter of moments, Belle found herself alone with the
past and the present.

Spencer seemed to sense
the tension between Belle and Burke and tried to make light of the
moment. He clapped his hands together and said, "Say, you kids know
each other? Burke, Belle, Belle, Burke." He chuckled at the
alliteration.

This time Burke did not
avert his gaze. "I believe we know each other," he said, extending
his hand to shake Belle's. "How are you, Belle?"

"
Fine, Burke." She took his hand and gave it a hard squeeze;
afraid he could sense her trembling. To her surprise, his hand felt
cold and clammy. She remembered that as a telltale sign of his
nerves. A small, sudden wave of compassion hit her. This wasn't
easy for him.

For a brief moment, their eyes
locked. But before Belle could see deep into those clear pools of
blue, Spencer blurted out an idea.

"
How about some dinner? Burke, Belle? My treat. The Diamond
Back Steak House."

Burke dropped her hand.
"No, thank you Spencer. Mom's tempted me with some of her good home
cooking tonight."

"
Then you and me, Belle?" Spencer wrapped one arm
possessively around her shoulder.

"
You two an item?" Burke's asked, curious.

"
No, not really," Belle answered.

Spencer admitted, "I'm
working on it, Burke. Working on it."

Belle stepped out of his
one arm embrace. "You always did like to work alone," she said,
indignant.

Burke couldn't hide his
grin. "As I recall, Spencer, Belle is her own woman. Likes to makes
up her own mind."

She couldn't stop the
words as they flowed out, but there they were, straight from the
core of her heart. "I'm surprised you recall anything about
me."

"
Ouch," Spencer said, stepping away from her as if he would
be bitten next.

"
Guess I deserved that," Burke said with a hint of
humility.

"
Maybe you did," Belle said, biting the inside of her lips
and blinking away the tears. Burke started to say something, but
she excused herself and walked away.

***

"
I can't do it, Daddy. I can't." Belle sat next to Duke on
the family room's old sofa. The soft hum of the window fan drowned
out the song of the crickets and sent a cool breeze through the
warm room.

"
What's this now? Saying I can't?" Duke leaned forward,
elbows propped on his knees and peered into Belle's
eyes.

"
I can't be around Burke. I can't."

"
I figure you can do anything you put your mind to, Belle.
You went back to college carrying your broken heart in your hands.
You graduated with honors, then helped me get this ranch back in
the black. Last year you ran for town council and beat the ten year
incumbent."

Tears pooled in her eyes as she
listened to her father's encouragement. Yes, she'd done all of
those things, but this was different. She felt tired and weary as
if all her strength were gone.

"
You're about the strongest, most confident woman I know.
I'm proud to call you my daughter. Don't know how the Lord blessed
me with such fine women in my life."

Belle spoke honestly and
openly. "I'm not so strong, Daddy. Not when it comes to Burke. I
want to be strong, everyone expects me to be long over this, and
I'm not. I'm not."

Her dad nodded, thinking,
rubbing his chin. "After your mother died the Lord told me I had to
teach you to deal with life's pain. I didn't do much to shelter
you. I guess we just take it for granted you can handle most any
situation that comes your way."

She squeezed his hand.
"I'm grateful for what you taught me. I'm grateful to Jesus for
being so real in my life, but right now, I need you to pray for me.
Please."

Duke did not hesitate. He
wrapped his strong arm around her shoulders and started to pray as
Belle dropped her head against him.

"
Father, we come askin' for grace and peace, wisdom and
understanding. Just wrap my girl in Your mighty love and give her
strength to get through this reunion. And Lord, once and for all,
let there be a healin' between Belle and Burke. In Jesus name we
pray. Amen.

"
Thank you," Belle whispered.

He smiled his tender,
fatherly smile and kissed her on the cheek. "Mind if I change the
subject here for a minute?"

Belle waved her hand at
him. "Please do. I'm tired of focusing on me."

For the next thirty minutes they
sat at her desk situated in one corner of the spacious ranch
kitchen and discussed the business. Belle's improved grazing
methods had produced better data on the cattle they sold for beef,
and the Bar J's profits were up.

"
I knew sending ya to college would pay off," Duke teased,
winking at her.

"
Considering I barely made it through my last year…" Belle
said, stopping suddenly as an image of Burke flashed across her
mind. How lonely and disoriented her senior year had been without
him.

Duke continued talking about the
business, and it kept her thoughts in the present. Together, they
finalized their summer plans by deciding to fence in the land they
bought last year from Chet Guthrie. They would rotate the cattle to
the new pasture and give the older ones a rest.

After making a few notes
on her task list, Belle turned on the computer in order to send a
few emails. While the modem dialed, she turned to her father and
asked, nonchalantly, "Did you ever wish for a son to work the ranch
with you?"

From the kitchen sink
where he'd started to clean the coffee pot, Duke looked over his
shoulder at her, surprise in his hazel eyes. "Now what possessed ya
to ask a question like that?" He rinsed the pot and reached for a
dishtowel.

"
I don't know." She shrugged. "I've always
wondered."

He set the pot back on the
coffee maker and joined Belle at her desk. "You know your mom and
me waited a long time to have a child. We'd been married almost
twenty years when ya finally came along. Seeing your beautiful face
for the first time, well, I reckon it was just about the best day
of my life. We were so amazed by the Lord's favor on us, we never
even questioned his choice for boy or girl."