To Live and To Love (Black Wolf Agency Book 1) (3 page)

“I know you won’t hurt me, Kate.”

“How can you be so sure of that when I don’t even know myself?”

“I know in my heart you would never hurt me, sweetheart,” he said, taking both of her hands and holding them tight. When Kate pulled her hands away, James felt his heart sink a little further in his chest.

“James, I’m a
vampire
and you’re– well, as wonderful as you are, you’re just a normal human. I love you, but I am tired, tired of this half life, and you deserve so much more. If I leave now you can move on.”

“Normal humans have no idea of the dangers that exist in this world or things that I know about. So, no, Kate, I am far from normal.”

“Just because you’re soundly skilled, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to defend yourself against one of my kind if they attack you. I am being serious here, and you should listen-”

“I am listening, but you are not listening to me. I already have proved my abilities, Kate! Remember the vampire we resurrected? The one who originally converted you? Was it not I, who plunged the stake in his heart to kill him? I did it to save you, and now you are talking about leaving me.”

“You were lucky.”

"Maybe, but I did it for you nonetheless.”

“I don’t want you dying for me… or
because
of me.”

“So, what are you saying? That it is okay for me to go out a risk my life every day for the good of the world, but when it comes to you, that I was just lucky, and I should sit behind the desk and smile. Really? It that how you think of me, and all that we mean to one another?”

“I have already made up my mind. Do you know how old I am, how many lives I have seen? Too many. I love you, but I have to do this. Please, let me go, but, before I leave, I want to watch the sunrise with you.”

“But that’ll
kill
you! How can you even ask that of me?”

“Yes, it’s the death I’ve been dreaming of for three-hundred years, since the day my heart stopped beating. My hope is since I’ve always tried to be a good person; there will be a wonderful afterlife waiting for me, better than this life. I want you to be happy for me.”

“No, Kate… I love you,” James said, tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

“I know… I love you, too,” Kate confessed, her eyes glazed over with tears as well.

Their eyes met for a moment. All Kate could see was pain.

When James gazed into Kate’s eyes, all he could see was pain and longing. He had no idea how difficult of a life she had had. To dream of how much better the afterlife might be than the life she was living, proved to him that she wasn’t happy. He was being selfish by wanting her to stay one more lifetime with him.

“Will you watch the sunrise with me?” Kate asked, managing to smile through her tears.

The pain James was feeling at that moment was unbearable. Without a word, he forced a smile and nodded. For once in his life, he did not have a comeback; he was losing his best friend and lover forever, there didn’t really seem to be any words to describe it.

They stood up, walked out onto the balcony outside the living room in his apartment, and gazed at the horizon as the orange glow above it grew brighter and brighter.

Instead of watching the sunrise, Kate found herself gazing into the eyes of the man next to her, the man she loved. Kate wondered,
‘Am I making a mistake?’

As the sun’s gentle, early-morning rays began to touch her skin, Kate knew now that it was too late to change her mind. She felt the pain of it burning her flesh, but suppressed her emotions. Kate knew any sign that she was in pain would only make James suffer more.

Then, James watched, the woman he loved dissolve into a cloud of bright, golden dust and after that, disappear completely.

Burying his face in his hands, James cried like he had never cried before, with all the pain and sadness hitting him at once.

It was then that James noticed; lying on the floor in front of him was the beautiful, silver and black, Gothic necklace Kate always wore. He bent down and picked it up carefully, gazing at the large black diamond in the center of it. He promised himself that he would take good care of the necklace, not because of the value of it, but because it was the last piece that remained of his one and only true love…

Then, out of the corner of his eye, something caught his attention, bringing him back to the present. At first, he thought it was the light from the candles flickering, but when he turned, he saw a small swirl of golden dust rising from where the necklace and amulet lay on the table.

James sat, frozen in place in anticipation. He watched as the swirl of golden dust slowly began to grow larger and gather taking a solid form, a form he began to recognize very well…

Things didn’t feel right to Kate. There was too much light, but somehow she couldn’t see enough to make out where she was. She wondered, ‘
What’s happening to me?’

Her eyes weren’t used to the bright light after being in the dark for so long, so she forced them closed. How was that possible? How was she supposed to be able to see at all? Where was the bright light coming from?

She felt a tremendous heat build around her, and she felt like she was moving fast, so very fast, swirling round and round like she was in a tornado. It was a very strange feeling she’d never felt before.

Suddenly, she was very still and curled up in a fetal position. The air around her felt warm, yet the surface beneath her was cool. She willed herself to open her eyes, afraid of what she might find, or where she might be.

She turned her head and looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the light in the room. She was not in the same place she had been moments ago.

Kate heard slow footsteps approaching her. She was afraid to look, but she forced herself to anyway. Her eyes found him, just as he stood beside her, gently covering her body with a soft blanket. She hadn’t realized until then that she was naked.

“James?” she said, gazing into his eyes in disbelief. She had been dreaming of him again, something she had to do in order to make it through the time she spent in the dark place she had been in. Kate moved her hands and arms around; finally she was free to stretch and move. She felt the stiffness and pain in her limbs, but pain was good; it meant that she was here and not there. While she had been there it had been so hard to not focus on the pain. But she had done it, because it had been her choice to endure that sunrise and give up the life she had. And, oh, what a mistake that had been.

James watched her closely; the love of his life had just come back from the dead. He couldn’t believe he did it. “It’s you… I can’t believe it’s really you!” he said excitedly with the biggest smile she’d ever seen on his face. Even though he had been upset and crying only seconds before the resurrection had started to take place, now his eyes were burning with tears of joy.

“What am I doing here?” she asked, still in shock. "Wait, how did you do this? James you are not supposed to be messing around with magic. You don’t know what could happen."

“Please don’t be mad at me, Kate,” he pleaded, his expression changing from joy to worry. "You have no clue how much I miss you. I had to do this; I had to bring you home to me."

She sat up on the table and faced him. Then she grabbed his warm hands and looked into his eyes. She never thought she would escape that place. But she didn’t want James to even think about messing with that type of magic again without help. James was just wasn’t built for that type of darkness. Very few humans were, if any. She looked around at the apartment. The place had been completely rearranged and was a bit messier since she died. She wanted to know how long she had been gone. She had so many questions, but right now she didn’t care how she got here. She was just happy to be home.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through,” she said, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I had no idea what would happen to me after I died. It was so dark… so cold… I was so alone. It was nothing like I thought. I guess being a Vampire was just not a good mix with where I thought I was going to go. How long have I been gone?”

“A year.”

She tried to hide the tears that began to form in her eyes, but she couldn’t. He pulled her close and embraced her. Oh, how she missed his warm embrace.

He ran his fingers gently through her wavy, shoulder-length, brown hair and whispered, “You’re home now, Kate. You’ll never be alone again.”

Together Forever

It felt so good for him to have her back in his arms once again. It felt as if a giant weight had been lifted from his chest. The gaping hole where his heart once belonged was finally beating once again.

Screw
Black Wolf Agency
. Screw the Resurrection Amulet. He knew in his heart that she was his destiny, his one reason for living. Yeah, he had the coolest job ever, and he had just worked magic and now knew he could successfully bring someone back from the dead, but without Kate, it meant nothing to him.

She gazed into his loving, brown eyes, and they soon found themselves kissing. When their lips parted, James’s lips continued their journey down, showing his loving affection for her by placing soft kisses along her cool, smooth skin until he reached her neck.

“You have a destiny, James,” she said with an impatient sigh. “You make a big difference in the lives of the people in this city. They need you. You have a job to do, and by taking the Amulet and bringing me back, you could have lost your future.”

“You’re my future, Kate. You’re my destiny,” he said to her, placing his hands on each side of her face and gazing deep into her eyes. “I don’t care about
Black Wolf Agency
or anyone else, for that matter. All I want is you. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Kate. I know you’re a vampire, and I’m a human, but we can make it work. You’re not going anywhere again. I won’t let you. You’re my soul mate. For now, let’s not worry about anything, just you and me. We can just have tonight, before the real world sets in. Just please don’t ask to go back,” he pleaded to her in almost a whisper.

“I don’t want to go back,” she said, to his surprise.

“What? But you just said-” he asked, confused.

“I meant your destiny is to work for
Black Wolf Agency
, to protect humanity and the common good. I said nothing about my destiny, since apparently fate has brought me back to you,” she said with a smile. “I belong by your side. I know that now. I was foolish before to believe otherwise.”

He smiled back at her and leaned forward to kiss her. She put her index finger between their lips to stop him.

“Ah, ah, ah!” she said.

“What is it, sweetheart?” he asked, worry in his tone of voice.

“Unless you want to become my next meal, I need to find some blood, fast.”

She had to be honest. She was indeed thirsty beyond comprehension. The fact that she hadn’t preyed upon him already was based solely on the fact that her love for him was stronger than her thirst. If she had been that close to any other human, they would be dead by now.

“Oh, right, that,” he laughed, backing up quickly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you,” she smiled, slowly taking his hand in hers. He caressed her hand softly and placed a soft kiss on the palm.

She could tell there was nothing in the world that he wanted more than her at that moment, and she felt the same way about him. However, she didn’t want to risk his safety by waiting any longer to feed. She only was this thirsty once; when she had first become a vampire.

“I have to go, but I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she said with a little too much urgency in her tone of voice.

“I’ll go with you,” he insisted.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” she hesitated.

“Why not?” he appeared hurt by what she had said.

“Because,” she murmured, looking down at the floor for a moment and sighing softly before her eyes met his again. “I don’t want you to see me do anything that will make your opinion of me change; that’s all.”

“There’s nothing you can do or say that will change my opinion of you,” he said with a smile, stepping closer to her and placing his hands on her hips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, mon cher.” And with that, she gave in to his request. “Alright, you can come with me, on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll help me find my victim,” she laughed. James cringed a little before joining her in laughter.

He couldn’t get over how beautiful she was. Not only was she beautiful, but stunning. And she fell in love with him, him of all people! It was another of those moments where he wasn’t sure what the hell realm he was in that he thought this was okay and normal. But since he brought her back from the dead, he had to accept some of the responsibility, because he seriously never would’ve thought he would be entertaining this thought before. Pick out a guy for his girlfriend to feed on. Hmm…

“Follow me,” she said, holding his hand tight. She grabbed an empty water jug, and as they headed for the door, he grabbed his keys, and quickly locked it on their way out.

“Where are we going?”

“This is New York City, yes?” she asked in her innocent voice as they walked down the sidewalk outside his apartment.

“Yes, it is.” He wondered what she was getting at.

“Well, this time of night, there’s got to be plenty of bars full of drunk, single men.”

“Good point, but none of us want an alcoholic vampire running around,” he said, and the look of worry on his face was quite apparent to her. She laughed and kissed his cheek.

“No, silly. What I’m going to do is go in one of the bars, pick out the drunkest looking man in there, lure him outside, knock him out, and simply drain some of his blood into this,” she explained, holding up the empty water jug. “I won’t actually kill him, or even bite him.”

“Oh, and I just thought you were taking out the trash for me, but this sounds better. Hey afterward can we stop for a pizza? I am freaking hungry, too,” he laughed.

She giggled and kissed him, sending a surge of excitement through him, making his heart beat a bit faster. God, he wanted her, but that would have to be put on hold. Well, at least until her thirst was taken care of.

She had him lead her to one of the more secluded bars in the city. As she walked into the bar, he followed her in the shadows, staying unnoticed, but ready to help her if she needed him. Vampire or not, he was still worried about her.

James was actually surprised how strong she was, even though she was considerably weakened from thirst. With no trouble at all, she was able to lure one of the drunken men outside, knock him out, and drain some of his blood into the empty water jug, just as she said she was planning to do.

James could have said a million things while he waited and watched, but he didn’t. His time at the Agency had taught him one thing; not to mess with supernatural beings and their food. Not that all humans were food, but still, you had to admit there was something strange about standing there waiting for his girlfriend to drain a man of some of is blood. It went against everything he had signed but for when he joined the Agency, but this was Kate; he would do just about anything for her. Hell, even bring her back from the dead.

It wasn’t long before she had quenched her thirst, and they were on their way back to his apartment with what was left of the fresh supply of blood.

“This will probably last me another day or so,” she told him as they walked along, concealing the jug from the occasional pedestrian.

“You know, a jug of blood isn’t going to make a good addition to my refrigerator,” he chuckled and cringed as he thought,
‘I hope I don’t grab that instead of the orange juice in the morning. Talk about a new type of morning sickness!’

Kate laughed in response to what he said. Then she leaned toward him, a little wobbly on her feet, and giggling when she kissed him.

“I love you, James,” she said, grinning at him.

“I love you, too, sweetheart,” he smiled. “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Yes, a little,” she giggled like a little girl.

“Getting drunk off someone’s blood… What’s this world coming to?” he joked and they both laughed.

As soon as they stepped into James’s apartment, she grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. She threw him on the bed and landed on top of him; he had a flash back to their first night together and realized that this time would be different… she would still be there by his side in the morning, no longer afraid of hurting him or having him reject her for what she was.

They lay there kissing, exploring each other’s mouths, remembering what they had lost. She loved the way he kissed, sweeping his tongue so forcefully in her mouth as if he could never get enough of her taste. Kate pulled her lips from his, and as she gave him a smirk, she said, “We need to get naked now, race you,” she proceeded to get off the bed and remove her clothes. She paused, watching as he jumped from the bed and flung off his shirt; she laughed at the feeling of impatience they both had. It had been so long, she wanted to make it last. After she finished undressing, Kate slowly looked up and smiled at James, who stood in front of her, gloriously naked. She loved the sight of his hard, firm body. Grinning, she raised her hand and pointed her finger at him, and then she crooked it and made the motion to ‘come here’.

When he got near her, she sighed and kissed him again lightly before teasingly pushing him back onto the bed and then following him down, landing beside him. Kate ran her hands delicately along his chest as she placed sweet kisses on his neck. She almost forgot how gorgeous and hard his body was; how his shoulders were broad and led to a narrow waist. And how could she have forgotten his rippled abs? Kate ran her hand lower and had just reached his erection when James grabbed her hand, flipping her to her back. His heart was beating faster with every kiss and every touch, and he quickly succumbed to his need for her.

James took over, and as his lips met hers again, he started making a slow journey down, kissing and licking until he reached her breast, stopping just before her nipple, teasing her. As he kissed his way up to her neck, he ran his hands over her breasts and cupped them gently. She moaned softly in response. James smiled against her neck; he missed the small noises she made when they were making love. Nipping her earlobe, he whispered, "I missed you so much."

Kate ran her hands down James’s chest, along his toned abs, and finally resting her hands on his hips. As they lay there, Kate could feel his hardness between her legs, driving her wild. She kissed along his neck, up to his earlobe, nibbling on it softly; she knew that was his weakness. "I missed you, too. I missed this. I missed us."

He kissed down to her breast and when his lips stopped at her nipple, he sucked hard on it for a moment. She used to love this, and apparently still did. She let out a low, pleasured moan in response. He then proceeded to the other, doing the same, but this time biting down a little. Kate was in agony; she was on the verge of erupting. It had been so long, she did not know if she could last.

Then, as his lips made their way back to hers, and he began to kiss her, she felt him enter her slowly. The impatience of waiting seemed to flow over them, she knew this first time would be hard and fast and she was okay with that. Kate gasped when he had fully penetrated her. The way he felt inside her was amazing; he filled her completely. Being with him like this was like a dream to her; a dream she never wanted to wake from. It was even better than she remembered.

James held her head in his hands and kissed her as he thrust into her. She loved him, and even though she was strong and could probably kill him with one single hit, he treated her like glass. She loved the feeling of being taken care of. All these years she had been the one in control; she had to be. But with James, she felt like she could be herself.