Tragically Wounded (9 page)

I stood in the Concert Hall in a position that afforded me a view of the front door and the stage door. With any luck, I would catch Nicole coming or going through one of them. At least she hadn't looked away tonight. God, hearing her sing again, seeing her on the stage, it brought back every memory I had of the first time I'd ever seen or heard her. I wanted nothing more than to tell her how sorry I was – to pull her into my arms and kiss her.

She had looked beautiful up there on the stage. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. That silky, emerald green dress she wore had hugged her curves and really accentuated her pretty hazel eyes. Seeing her cry during that song broke my heart. It was the piece I'd helped her with the night we'd made love. Had that memory taken over her mind like it had mine? Is that why she cried? I knew some of those tears had been because of the music, but I wondered if some of them were for me, too. Did she miss me as much as I missed her? Had she thought about me at all, or was she really good at closing off her emotions?

I know I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her at all. It might not be so bad if I could just hear her voice. If it was physically possible, I would kick myself in the ass for not telling Nicole about Sasha earlier. My father always taught me honesty is the most important thing, and what did I do? I ignored his advice. I hadn't been honest with Nicole and I should have been. It was the whole reason I was in this mess right now.

The stage door opened and I turned fully toward it. My hopes were crushed when Toni came walking out - without Nicole. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Where's Nicole?"

"She took off out the back door," Toni sighed, "I'm so sorry, Sean. I tried to stop her."

I noticed tears in the corners of her eyes. That made it hard to get mad at her. "She really isn't going to talk to me ever again, is she?"

What little hope I'd had when I arrived disappeared, "I thought you were going to tell her about Sasha?"

"I tried, three times and she refused to listen. I've never seen her act like this before. She's really hurt, Sean."

"I know. So am I," I hung my head and shook it, "Well, I guess that's it then, huh?"

"What? No! Don't be ridiculous."

"Please don't do this, Toni. Don't get my hopes up again." I wanted to remind her she'd promised to get Nicole to talk to me tonight, but that wouldn't help anything. So, I kept my mouth shut and resolved to the fact I'd probably lost Nicole for good. I slowly sat down in the closest chair and dropped my head into my hands. I didn't understand why Nicole would give me five minutes to explain. It didn't make any sense.

Toni sat beside me. "Just give me another chance to make this right. Please?"

I turned my head to look at her. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because she's my best friend, and she's hurting. And…and she blames me. She said if I hadn't pushed you two together this never would've happened."

I put my arm around Toni's shoulders. "No one can know that," I said, trying to comfort her.

"I know you love her, Sean. And I know she loves you, too. You guys belong together. Don't give up on her," Toni pleaded.

"I just don't know what else to do."

"Are you hitting on my girlfriend?" Derrick joked as he approached us.

I smiled and dropped my arm from Toni's shoulders. "You know that old saying, misery loves company."

"That's it!" Toni said, jumping to her feet.

Derrick and I looked at her like she'd sprouted a second head. "What's it?" Derrick asked.

"I know how to get Nicole to talk to Sean." She laughed. "I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner."

"Think of what?" I stood. "You're not making any sense, Toni."

She put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Trust me, okay? I have a plan I know will work. Can you come with us, or do you have to get back to the center?"

"I can go with you," I said, still not sure what it was she was planning or how it would get Nicole to talk to me. But, I was desperate and willing to try anything, no matter how crazy it might be.

"Good. I just got to make a couple of calls then we can go," Toni said.

"Go where? Will you please tell me what you're planning first?"

"Okay," Toni sat back down and motioned for me to do the same.

Once I did, she began to lay out her plan, and I listened intently. When she'd finished talking, I sat silently for several moments, too stunned to speak. It was definitely a crazy idea. So crazy in fact, that if it didn't work, Nicole would probably be so pissed off she'd never speak to any of us ever again. But what if it did work? Was that possibility worth the risk?

"So, what do you think? Are you in or not?" Toni asked impatiently, tapping her high heeled shoe against the floor. "Make a decision because we don't have a lot of time. And I'm not going to make these calls unless you're on board."

I looked around the concert hall. There were only a dozen or so people left, milling around. I swallowed my fears and uncertainties and nodded my head. "Yes, I'm in. Let's do this." If Toni was able to pull this off then I could get Nicole back. Tonight. Despite my mind telling me otherwise, my heart filled with hope again.

"Good. You can ride with us," Toni said, "Derrick, would you go pull the car around?  Please?" She batted her eyelashes and pretended to pout.

Derrick gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Meet me out front in five minutes."

"Thank you," She winked at him seductively as she pulled out her cell phone. Again, I sat quietly by as Toni worked her magic. If this worked, if she was really able to pull this off, I was going to owe her big time. I'd do anything for her and I was going to be sure to tell her that.

Once she was finished with all of her calls, which she made in record time, I turned to Toni. "Are you sure about this?"

"No," she admitted, "but it's the only thing I can think of. Any other time I've tried to talk to her, she's run away. The only logical thing to do is put her in a position that she can't run away from."

I still wasn't fully convinced, but what did I have to lose? If she still didn't talk to me, I wouldn't be any worse off than I was right now.

Toni looped her arm through mine and together we walked to Derrick's car. My stomach was in knots and it felt like it took forever to get to Nicole's apartment. Once we arrived, all we could do was wait. That was sure to kill me. I silently prayed Toni knew what she was doing and that Nicole would finally talk to me.

Mom had complained of a headache, so we'd dropped her off right after the conference. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt, but at least I got to spend the evening with my sister. We caught up on a lot of stuff. She told me her husband; Ethan just got a major promotion at work, and with it, a very substantial raise. They were looking to buy a bigger house because Jo was three months pregnant. She didn't look it, though. I was so happy for her. She'd always wanted a big family. And, I was going to be an aunt. How exciting was that? Jo also told me she left her job, which came as quite a shock because Jo had always been so self-sufficient. But, she wanted to focus on her pregnancy and making sure it was as healthy as possible. I wasn't quite sure what that meant. Lots of women maintained jobs and still had healthy pregnancies.

After all that, I opened up to her about Sean. I told her everything from how we met to how I caught him kissing another woman. Jo listened with a sympathetic ear, but she told me the same thing Toni had been telling me: I had to talk to him. Why was everyone pushing me to talk to him? Sean betrayed me. I didn't owe him a damn thing. Why couldn't anyone see that?

Thankfully, the drive back to my apartment was filled with talk of my music and baby names. "Do you want to come up for coffee or something?" I asked my sister once we pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building. I was enjoying spending time with Jo and I really didn't want to be alone tonight. Seeing Sean had rattled me way more than I thought it would. I know I'd invited him, but I really didn't think he'd show up.

"Caffeine isn't good for the baby," Jo said, getting out of the car. "But, I will have some water."

"I'm sure I can manage some water," I said with a smile as I led her toward my apartment. I put my key in the lock and fumbled with it. The darn thing had been sticking for weeks now. I guess I'd have to call maintenance again on Monday and have someone come fix it. I should've done it when it first started happening, but I'd been occupied with other things at the time.

Finally, I got the door unlocked and pushed it open. I stopped cold. Sitting on my couch, feet propped on the coffee table, flipping aimlessly through a magazine, was Toni. I glared at her. "I knew I should've had the locks changed."

"Oh, Nikki, I'm glad you're home. We need to talk," Toni said, dropping her feet to the floor and standing.

"No, we don't." Behind me, I heard the door close. I turned to look. Jo was standing with her back against the door, blocking my ability to leave if I wanted. I glanced at Toni then back at my sister. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Nicole, please don't be mad," Jo said, still not moving from the door. "Toni called and asked me to help. Please, just listen to what she has to say. For me?"

I frowned. Growing up, Jo was all I had in the way of a role model. I could never say no to her, and she knew it. "Fine," I sighed and turned back to Toni, "Go ahead and talk."

Toni swallowed and nodded. "First of all, I'm not sorry I pushed you and Sean together. You two are perfect for each other and everyone who has ever seen you two knows that."

"That is the worst apology I've ever heard from you, Toni." I crossed my arms over my chest. Just because I agreed to listen to her didn't mean I was going to make it easy on her. Was I being unfair? Maybe? But I'd been hurt worse than I'd ever been before.

She smiled, "I am sorry you're hurting, though. You're my best friend, Nikki, and you know I hate it when you're hurt."

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"But, you're hurting yourself, Nicole." She took a step toward me. "Sean didn't do anything wrong."

I snorted with disgust. "I trusted him and he betrayed me. He kissed another woman, Antonia! I saw it with my own two eyes."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Did you really see him kissing another woman?"

"Yes!" Of course I did. I knew I did. Every time I closed my eyes I saw it. The image was burned into my memory.

"Really, Nikki? I mean, just stop and think about it for a minute. What did you really see?"

I paused, the image of the beautiful pregnant woman with Sean flashed through my mind. The way they'd smiled at each other, the affection pouring between them, her leaning over and… "Oh my God," I whispered as the reality of it slapped me in the face. Sean hadn't kissed the woman I had seen him with. She'd kissed him on the cheek, but that was it.

"Nicole, I'd like to introduce you to Sasha Cartwright."

That same woman from the VA Center walked out of my kitchen. My kitchen! I couldn't believe it. What was she doing here? I wanted to wring the life from Toni's body.

"Sasha is Sean's cousin," Toni said then added, "his pregnant, married cousin."

I felt all the color drain from my face, and I simply stared at the both of them.

"Hi, Nicole," Sasha said, approaching and extending her hand to me.

Hesitantly, I took it and gave it a weak shake. "Hi." I look down at her left hand, and lo and behold, there on her ring finger was the biggest, sparkling diamond wedding band I'd ever seen. I slowly averted my gaze back to hers, feeling like a complete idiot. How could I have been so wrong?

"I'm so sorry about the trouble I caused between you and Sean," Sasha said, releasing my hand.

This was all too much. I walked to the couch and plopped down on it. So, this woman wasn't Sean's ex-girlfriend? And the baby she was carrying wasn't Sean's? Sasha sat on the couch next to me, taking my hands into hers. I had no choice but to look at her.

"Sean and I grew up together. He was like a brother to me and we've always been very close. Unfortunately, because of my husband's work schedule, I haven't been able to visit Sean since he's returned from his deployment. I'd heard he was injured, and of course I was just worried to death about him." She shook her head, took a deep breath, and continued. "So, when I saw him, I was overjoyed he was okay. In fact, he looked good – happy."

"Oh," was all I could manage to say.

"He's crazy about you, Nicole. You're all he talks about. And I know, straight to my soul. I know it's because of you that he's doing so well. I am so sorry for all the trouble I've caused but I'm begging you, please give Sean another chance."

Sasha squeezed my hands as she spoke. It didn't hurt, but it was a clear sign she was desperate to make me understand. Tears pooled in my eyes. I really had made a mistake, hadn't I? A sob escaped and I covered my mouth with my hand.

"Oh my God," I said.

Toni came over and sat on the other side of me. She put her arm me and I rested my head on her shoulder as the first few tears slipped free.

"Hey, it's okay," she soothed.

I shook my head, "No, it's not okay. I was so mean to him. I wouldn't even talk to him."

"All you have to do is call him," Jo said from where she stood guarding the door.

"Actually," Sasha stood and went to my bedroom door. She opened it and nodded, "You can just talk to him right now."

I looked up and saw Sean stepping out of my room, still wearing his dress uniform, holding a bouquet of red roses. I jumped off the couch and rushed toward him, throwing my arms around his neck with so much force he stumbled back a step or two. "Sean," I sobbed, burying my face in his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

He wrapped his arms around me; the roses still clutched in his hand, and squeezed me tight to him. His head lowered and I felt him take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of me. "Nicole," he muttered, "God, I've missed you."

"Let me get these out of the way," Toni said, taking the flowers from Sean's hand. "We're gonna go and leave you two alone."

I nodded, but didn't let go of Sean. And he didn't let go of me, either. In fact, he flattened both of his hands on my back and held me tightly. I played with the hair at the nape of his neck, missing how soft it had felt on my fingers. Only once I heard the door close and the apartment fall quiet, I lifted my head and looked at him. His brown eyes were so warm and so full of compassion. The way he looked at me, with so much love and desire, it made me cry harder.

Sean moved his hands from my back and cupped my face, his thumbs brushing my tears away. "You are too beautiful to cry," he whispered as he lowered his mouth to mine.

His lips touched mine, his tongue delved into my mouth, and I was lost in his kiss. It had only been two days, but it felt like an eternity. I had missed him so much, and I was terrified all of this might just be a dream. Moaning softly, I leaned in to him, needing to feel as much of him as possible, not wanting to let him go.

"I'm sorry, Nicole. God, I'm so sorry I hurt you," he said, releasing my lips despite my groan of protest.

"No," I shook my head, "You didn't do anything wrong. I overreacted. I assumed the worst, and I didn't give you a chance to explain. This is all my fault," I said, choking back a sob.

Sean ran the pad of his thumb across my kiss-swollen lips and then he smiled. "I want to put this behind us and start over. Can we do that, Nicole? Can you forgive me?"

"I should be the one asking you that. I acted like such a fool. God, I'm so embarrassed."

I rested my forehead on his chest and sighed. All this time I'd thought he betrayed me, that he'd broken my trust. But in reality, I'm the one who betrayed him. I didn't trust him enough to give him the benefit of the doubt. What kind of person was I to do that to a man I loved?

"I was never angry with you," he said, putting his finger under my chin and tilting my head up. "I know how it must've looked to you and if the roles were reversed, I probably would've thought the same thing you did."

I didn't deserve someone as sweet as Sean. My mind told me he was just saying that stuff to make me feel better, but my heart wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe he wasn't upset with me and that we both really could just forget all about this embarrassing misunderstanding.

"I thought she was your ex-girlfriend, the one who'd broken up with you before you were deployed. And…" I averted my gaze. "And I thought she was there to tell you that the baby was yours."

Sean laughed. "No." He kissed me on the mouth again. It was soft and lingering. "I called her when I first got back, before I met you, and she wanted nothing to do with me when she found out I was missing a leg."

I stared into his warm brown eyes, expecting to see some level of pain or sadness, but there was none. He really didn't seem to care at all his ex-girlfriend was a shallow, heartless bitch. I couldn’t believe her reaction didn't bother him in the least.

Well, it was her loss, I thought.

"Will you stay here with me tonight, Sean?"

He smiled, "I thought you'd never ask."