Trouble According to Humphrey (3 page)

BOOK: Trouble According to Humphrey
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You should always listen to your teacher.

“Any questions?” she asked.

Paul raised his hand and she called on him. “What is Humphreyville?” he asked.

“It’s our town we’re creating for social studies.”

“Oh,” said Paul.

“Well, if there are no other questions, you may go,
Paul. We’ll see you tomorrow!” Mrs. Brisbane used her especially cheery voice.

Paul didn’t waste any time grabbing his notebook and hurrying out of Room 26.

I liked Paul, but I wasn’t sure that he liked Room 26 very much.

By the next day, Humphreyville was taking shape. My fellow students had already begun to build their homes. Oh, there were so many different kinds! A.J. made a house out of blocks. He didn’t care if somebody knocked it over because he could build it up again. Garth made a log cabin. Seth’s “house” was a spaceship—cool! Golden-Miranda drew a picture of a purple castle (she deserves a castle). Heidi, true to her word, made a blue tent with pink and yellow polka dots.

Sayeh built a tall apartment building. She said since Humphreyville would be such a popular place, we would need a lot of places for people to live. Mandy’s house was very tall and narrow. She explained that each floor was for a different member of her family. Unfortunately, it kept tipping over.

By far, the house that got the most attention was Art’s. He used small plastic bricks, metal springs, sprockets and things-I-don’t-know-the-names-of to build a house that had a big slide coming out of the attic, inner rooms that revolved like a merry-go-round and train tracks that went right through the middle.

“I believe Art’s house will put Humphreyville on the
map,” Mrs. Brisbane said. I think he got the first “A” on that project that he’s had all year. I sure gave him an “A.”

When Paul came into class for math, he sat next to Art, although they ignored each other completely. It sounds strange, but Paul looked even smaller when he walked out of Room 26 than when he walked in.

On Wednesday evening, I scribbled in my notebook, working on the drawing of my house. It got dark early. Luckily, I could sketch by the light of the streetlamp outside the window. Of course, the sound of the crickets (Og’s special treats) going “CHIRRUP-CHIRRUP” sometimes made it hard to concentrate.

Suddenly, I was blinded by bright lights. “Surprise, surprise! Aldo has arrived!” My eyes adjusted to the light and there was our friendly custodian, Aldo Amato, bowing from the waist. I quickly slipped my notebook behind my mirror.

“Greetings, Aldo,” I shouted. I knew it came out “SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK,” but Aldo always seemed to understand me.

“Hello, Humphrey! Howdy-do, Og!” Aldo pulled his cleaning cart into the room, took out his broom and started sweeping. He stopped as soon as he started. “
Mamma mia
, what’s all this?” he asked, looking around at the room.

“HUMPHREYVILLE,” I squeaked loudly.

“BOING!” shouted Og.

I could see how surprised Aldo was and with good
reason. Since the night before, the whole room had changed. Tables with all the students’ homes lined the back of the room and the rows between their seats had big signs on them with street names. My classmates had argued over—I mean
discussed
—what each street should be named. When Mrs. Brisbane suggested First Street, Second Street, and so forth, the students didn’t like that idea. Then she’d suggested naming the streets after presidents, but my friends weren’t interested in that, either.

“We want something that stands for us,” Garth said. “Names that are things we like.”

Now the growing town of Humphreyville had Soccer Street and Basketball Avenue, Video Game Way and Recess Lane, as well as Pizza Place and Taco Boulevard.

Aldo’s big black mustache bounced heartily as he laughed and looked around.
welcome to humphreyville
, a sign announced in big bright letters. The table where Og and I live had some grassy material on it with a sign that read,
og the frog nature preserve
.

I was glad they named something after Og, so he wouldn’t feel jealous. Jealousy feels BAD-BAD-BAD.

Aldo started sweeping again. “I’m lucky I get to clean Mrs. Brisbane’s room every night, because I learn so much about being a teacher!” He had just returned to college so he could teach school, which was an excellent idea.

“Humphreyville!” he repeated again with a chuckle. “Looks like the perfect place to live!”

Aldo went about his work in his usual quick and efficient
way, then pulled a chair up near my cage and took out his lunch bag. He always took his dinner break with Og and me and talked about his life. He talked about his wife, Maria, who worked at the bakery and had a beautiful smile. Lately, he talked a lot about college.

“Whew, Humphrey, I knew that school wouldn’t be easy, but it’s getting harder all the time,” he said. “I’m lucky Maria is an understanding woman, because I hardly have any free time. I haven’t even been bowling in weeks.”

Although I wasn’t completely sure I knew what “bowling” was, I knew it was something Aldo enjoyed. He chewed his sandwich thoughtfully for a moment. “Still, it will be worth it. I can be a teacher and work with kids and maybe have a house like one of these,” he said, waving toward the back tables. “Like the one with the train tracks going through it.”

He reached in his sandwich and pulled out a piece of lettuce. “Here’s to your health, Humphrey.” He pushed the lettuce into my cage.

I squeaked a heartfelt thanks.

“Sorry I don’t have something for you, Og my man,” he told my neighbor. “You’re a lot pickier than Humphrey.”

Picky? The frog eats
crickets! Yech.
Not nearly as appealing as the mealworms I enjoy.

Aldo hurried out the door with his squeaky cart. Although I was sorry my friend didn’t have time to go bowling, I was glad he was going to be a teacher, like
Mrs. Brisbane. I could hardly believe that when I first met Mrs. Brisbane, I didn’t think she was a very nice person. In fact, I thought she was out to get me. Now, she’s one of my favorite humans—and I have a lot of favorite humans!

During the next few days, my classmates worked hard building up Humphreyville. Every day, Paul came in for math class. Though he sat next to Art, his neighbor never even looked at him. Every day, Paul left the classroom in a big hurry.

On Friday afternoon, it was time for Mrs. Brisbane to announce which student would be bringing me home for the weekend. It was always an exciting moment for my classmates and even more exciting for me. My whiskers wiggled wildly as I waited to find out where I’d be staying.

“Pick me,” said Mandy, frantically waving her arm. “You’ve never let me take Humphrey home.”

She was right. I’d been home with many of my friends—some of them even twice—but I’d never gone home with Mandy.

“You haven’t brought back the permission slip I sent home with you,” said Mrs. Brisbane.

Mandy let out a huge sigh, then said, “My folks have been busy.”

“Well, tell them I’m waiting for their signatures. Now, I believe Seth is scheduled to take Humphrey home this weekend.”

Sit-Still-Seth Stevenson was so excited, he jiggled his chair until it actually tipped over. Luckily, he wasn’t hurt.

“Try to stay calm,” said Mrs. Brisbane.

“I WILL-WILL-WILL.” I covered my mouth with my paws when I realized that she had been talking to Seth. I made a mistake. After all, I’m only human. I mean … only a hamster. (Which is a very good thing.)

NO HOUSING SHORTAGE
IN HUMPHREYVILLE!

Building boom keeps Room 26 students hopping.
Population swells as Paul Fletcher joins math class.

The Humphreyville Herald

The Situation with the Stevensons

T
he reason I used to think Seth’s full name was Sit-Still-Seth was because he always wiggles in his chair and Mrs. Brisbane always reminds him to sit still. He really does try, but he has so much energy, he just has to move. I guess that’s why he loves sports a lot, both playing them and watching them, along with our other sports fan in Room 26, Tabitha.

As much as I like Seth, I was hoping his whole family didn’t fidget and squirm as much as he did. I always have my wheel to work off my excess energy. Too bad Seth doesn’t have one, too.

On Friday, Seth’s mom, June, drove us home without as much as a twitch. She did tell her son to quit bouncing up and down on the seat, which I appreciated, as car rides always make me queasy even without Seth’s jiggling and joggling.

“Thanks for picking me up, Mom,” Seth said. “I thought Grandma would do it.”

“I was afraid she’d have trouble with the cage. The
shop wasn’t busy and Carolyn covered for me. I’ll do the same for her next week.” She laughed. “I’ll be glad when your sister can drive you.”

Seth bounced a little higher. “I won’t!” he exclaimed.

Once we were home and I was placed in the den on a big table, I saw the other members of Seth’s family. His sister was a teenager named Lucinda and Grandma was an older lady who I later figured out was June’s mom.

“Want to meet Humphrey?” Seth asked his sister.

She turned up her nose. “Hamsters are for children,” she said, and walked away. “I’m going to write in my journal now, so please don’t disturb me.”

BOOK: Trouble According to Humphrey
9.77Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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